O.J.

by Penny Hawking

  “So how you been?” Andy asked, surprising me by continuing the conversation.

  “Good.” I said quickly. “I’ve been good…” I elaborated. “Everything’s good.”

  Andy nodded and nervously played with his lip ring. “That’s good.”

  Had it been when we were together, I would have used that gesture to wrap my arms around him and kiss him so I could feel his lip ring in my mouth. I think my train of thought must have transmitted to him because I found my eyes drifting to his lip and then up to meet his face. His eyes were clouded with a familiar hint of desire that I knew all too well. I looked away quickly as my heart pounded away intensely.

  “Well I’m done for the day.” I said loudly, breaking whatever was going on between us. I was going to be friends with Andy. I will. I won’t fuck up this friendship like I did our relationship. I needed to be casual. “I’m just going to grab some lunch.” I said pointing behind me.

  Andy nodded.

  Friends. Friends. Friends. “Have you eaten already?” I asked, holding the strap of my purse tighter than usual. I was surprised by the casual tone in my voice and the fact that it didn’t give my anxiety away.

  Andy shook his head. “No not yet…I was uh…” He let out a small cough. “Thinking of grabbing something before practice actually.”

  I nodded. “Well uhm…” I shrugged. “You’re welcome to join—”

  The abrupt opening of the door cut me off as a group of girls walked out. One of the brunettes looked up at Andy and looked away and then immediately looked up as recognition appeared on her face. Her friends kept walking not noticing one of them had stopped.

  “Wait you’re Andy right?” the girl asked.

  Andy tore his eyes away from me and looked down at the girl in confusion. “What?” he asked.

  “Oh my God, those eyes, yes you are. Andy from the Torn Rose, you’re their new guitarist.” She said happily. Her other friends had stopped and stared curiously at Andy with slight awe. “Wow you go to my school…that’s insane.”

  Andy shifted uncomfortably. He looked up at me helplessly and I shrugged. He turned to the girl. “Hey.” He said softly.

  “I love your band; I was at your concert last week. You guys are awesome. Like seriously. You guys are getting so famous.” The brunette said as she quickly took off her book bag. “Can I please have an autograph?” She asked nervously as she started to giggle.

  “Uh…” Andy looked up at me and looked away embarrassed. “Sure.”

  “Oh my God, thank you so much!” she squealed, taking out a notepad. “You’re even hotter up close.” She said handing him her notepad.

  Andy took it and gave her a small smile.

  “Make it out to Jessica please.” She said sweetly as she batted her eyes at him. Andy nodded.

  “Wait I want one to.” One of her friends said.

  The other five girls nodded and scurried around through their stuff to find something to write on.

  “Wow, so he’s going to be like really famous I bet. This will probably be worth a lot.” One of the girls said.

  The girls giggled and started crowding Andy, making it a point to tell him just how hot and sexy he was.

  I took a step back feeling completely out of place as though I was intruding. I took another step back when Andy looked up and met my eyes.

  “Uhm…” He cleared his throat. “I gotta go.” He said apologetically to the girls.

  The girls pouted and turned around to all stare daggers at me. They tried to process in their mind who I was and what relation I had with their new found superstar.

  I shook my head and waved him down. “It’s okay…your fans await.” I said smiling. “I’ll see you around.” I quickly turned around and walked down the hallway, feeling Andy’s eyes on my back. This was it. I walked out the hallway, finally allowing myself to breathe. I contemplated going back in there and dragging him away from those females…but he wasn’t mine.

  “O.J.” I heard a sneering voice that I hadn’t heard in a long time.

  I turned around annoyed as I looked up at Jeanie. “You’re still alive?” I asked.

  She smirked. “Did you really think you could handle him and work your magic on him?” Jeanie asked. “Well the jokes on you.” She said giving a small ugly life. “I told you to stay away from him, I told you he didn’t need another fuck-up like you---”

  “Oh my gosh you’re so right!” I said loudly. “His dick is that good.” I said enjoying her mouth clamp up. “No wonder why a couple years later you’re still hung up him.”

  “Why you little---” she took a step towards me, but stopped when I took two step towards her.

  “Tell you what.” I said happily. “I know you’re enjoying the fact that Andy and I are over.” I said smiling. “But currently there are a couple of really desperate bitches in the hallway wanting to suck his dick.” I pointed behind me. “So you should hurry up to get your turn before the line gets too long.” I said patting her shoulder.

  Without another word I turned around and walked away from her. Stalker ass bitch.

  *********

  “And now the next showcase is from Ornelia Jones, photography major, studio arts minor.” Dr. Honsu announced.

  I held my breath as the lights dimmed and my slideshow began. I smiled as I saw the appreciation on the panels face. I looked down shyly and pressed myself against the wall. Everything was going to be okay. I turned my head to the movement in the background to see Andy, a strange girl, Christina and Brad seating themselves in the back. I grinned as Brad waved desperately at me and blew me a kiss. Christina gave me a small wave. I turned to Andy and the girl. The girl was too busy staring at Andy, and Andy gave me a small smile. I nodded at him and turned around my heart unsettled. That must be the girl he’s fucking. I couldn’t stop the bitterness from rising inside me.

  **********

  “AAAHHHH you came!” Carly exclaimed as she grabbed my hand and jumped on me. I laughed as we both tumbled back. “I missed you!” she said heartily. She grabbed my face and kissed me square on the lips garnering howls from the guys surrounding us. She grinned at me. Her pale face was almost virtually free of make-up which was a shock. But yet she still looked gorgeous with the pink lips and the simple blue-eyeliner. She had her hair up in a messy bun, displaying the black dye job on the bottom half of her head that she’d done.

  “Of course I came.” I yelled into her ear. “It’s Christina’s birthday and she invited me.”

  Carly nodded. “Yeah but we were scared since you broke up with Andy we wouldn’t see you anymore!” She yelled against the music. She squeezed my hand encouragingly

  I shook my head. “Never!” I said. I turned around and motioned to Jazmine, Brittany and Nico. “These are my friends!” I yelled at her.

  “I got badges for them too!” she yelled motioning for them.

  We followed her through the club as she led us to the back and up some stairs. The techno music in the background vibrating straight to our bones.

  Nico draped his arms around my shoulders. “Damn girl, you know VIP’s?” he remarked.

  “Get money!” I joked as I imitated Kevin Hart. We laughed and followed her upstairs.

  I was so happy to see the rest of the band. Even Seth who usually sat around emotionless as he drank his poison surprised me with a smile and a hug. Christina looked so gorgeous in her white tutu dress and her tiara. She gave me a big hug. I smiled and returned the hug, feeling as though I had once again gained another sister.

  Andy was the only member I didn’t physically touch. I waved at him from where he was sitting again with the same girl. I didn’t go over for fear of introduction. I didn’t want to make anything awkward. Better yet…I didn’t want to be awkward. I knew the only thing I would do would be to seize her up and try to figure out what the fuck she had that made him move on so fast. I mean come on Andy rebounded so fast it made me feel like shit, truth be told. But alas…I wasn’t here to rant over him. M
y friends went over and greeted him as though nothing was wrong. I felt a sense of betrayal but quickly buried it. Of course Andy was also their friend. I’d gotten a nostalgic feeling as Nico and the gang laughed with Andy about something and I stayed away trying to hide my curiosity. I ignored the frequent glances I felt Andy throw my way. That must have been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do.

  Christina’s birthday party was indeed a success. I was by her side most of the time as we found endless upon endless of things to talk about. I was happy at this new found family that I had. It was so easy to relax around them and be yourself. I mused on about what I had first thought of her before ever meeting her. We laughed about it and she said she got it all the time…she didn’t mind because she knew she was a bitch, but for some reason she automatically clicked with me. Then she looked to Andy and his girl and back at me saying not to take it to heart he was confused. I didn’t ask her to elaborate and just shrugged it off. I just told her we were over and she was pretty so good for him. That was not at all how I felt inside.

  An hour or two later I drifted off to the dance floor downstairs with my friends, intent on enjoying myself. This was the party, the night before graduation. I was going to go out with a bang. Especially if everything around us was free, from the food to the drinks with these VIP badges.

  A couple minutes later, I dragged Christina down and forced her to move her body. She complained that she didn’t know how to dance and it was true. But after a couple more persuasions from Nico, she was able to relax and looked to be enjoying herself even though she was completely out of her element.

  Later Christina and I dragged ourselves to the bar on the second floor amidst giggles and drops of sweat.

  “Two pineapple vodka.” She told the bartender.

  “Right away birthday girl.” The bartender said winking at Christina.

  I took a deep breath and looked around. “Wow you really know how to do it big!” I said laughing. I wasn’t drunk but I was clearly a little tipsy. More relaxed and casual, right in my element.

  Christina grinned and nodded. We grabbed our drinks and headed up to the VIP section on the third floor. The balcony was cleared and the rest of the party had dispersed downstairs. We sat on the edge of the balcony so we can overlook the two levels of dance floor.

  “SO how’ve you been?” Christina asked as she sipped her drink.

  “I’m okay.” I said smiling softly as my eyes scanned the area below me. “I’m better.” I said.

  Christina looked down at the people below too and nodded. “If you’re looking for him, he’s on the second floor to your right.” Christina pointed out.

  I moved my gaze to my right and my eyes immediately landed on him. He was sitting with his girl. She was leaning over his ear whispering something. I should have looked away but I didn’t. Andy tilted his head and looked up, his eyes immediately focusing on me. I looked away and turned to Christina who’d been watching me.

  “You two have been searching each other out in the club all night.” She said with a soft smile on her face. “How cute.”

  I took a sip of my drink. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I usually didn’t make things like that obvious. I couldn’t help myself. It’s like my brain and body was against me. Every time I moved or did something, I felt my eyes scanning and searching to see if he was still in the same place I’d last seen him. It was driving me nuts and I couldn’t stop it.

  “He moved.” Christina said.

  I looked down to see he hadn’t and in fact was still staring up at me. I looked away and narrowed my eyes at Christina.

  She chuckled. “I couldn’t resist.”

  I was forced to smile too. I’d been way too obvious. I groaned as I put my drink down. “It’s just taking a lot longer to forget him…” I admitted. I tapped the table. “Who is she?” I asked nonchalantly. My nails tapped my glass nervously.

  “Laura Bruin.” Christina answered. “Her brother owns a bar downtown. She’s a huge fan of the band.”

  Laura Bruin. I didn’t say anything as I looked down at them once more. She was pretty indeed with her long black hair and almost olive skin tone. She was currently taking a picture with Andy. She was smiling brightly, while he was staring seriously into the camera.

  “She’s a good girl.” Christina said. “Really nice, sweet, not a bitch.”

  “So the opposite of me.” I said turning my focus back to Christina.

  “The opposite of us.” Christina said raising a toast. I lifted my glass and toasted as I laughed.

  I drank slowly. “She really likes him huh?” I asked.

  Christina nodded. “She’s really in love with him. Does everything he wants. Waits on him hand and foot. Never argues, always positive. She’s like attached to his hip or something.”

  I got a sinking feeling as I stared at my glass. That’s the kind of person he needed. Somebody who would always be there for him. Somebody who would never let him down. Somebody to love him even more than he could ever love. “That’s good.” I said feeling more sober, than I should be at the moment. “He has such a way of picking us; I was scared he was going to fuck it up again.” I said emotionally.

  Christina nodded and gave me a sad smile.

  I took a deep breath to stop the tears from spilling out. “She seems like a really nice girl. She’s really pretty too.” I said smiling weakly. “If he’s happy than that’s all that matters. I can let him go knowing he found somebody better. Somebody that will really love him.” I said my voice shaking with emotions. “She’s good.” I concluded. “She’s good for him.” I said not feeling the words.

  Christina looked down at the couple as she took a sip of her drink. “She’s good for him….for right now.” She said turning back to me.

  I stared at her in confusion, not sure if I understood what she was saying.

  Christina took a deep breath. “She’s good…but not for Andy.” She said. “I mean she’ll never hurt him and break his heart like we did…more than likely Andy will be the one to hurt her…but…” Christina paused. “She’s not….” She shook her head. “I don’t know how to explain it but it won’t work…Andy could use the distraction right now, but that’s all it is.” Christina said. “She has the groupie mentality.”

  I shook my head. “It looks like the real deal to me.

  Christina laughed. “Ornelia trust me. Andy’s my best friend…we talk okay. This one is not forever.” She downed her glass. “Besides did you seriously not see him watching your every move tonight?” She asked. I felt a light flicker inside me. “You didn’t notice how hurt he was when you didn’t greet him? You don’t see how uncomfortable he is around her? How he’s holding himself back?”

  “That’s cause we just broke up.” I said.

  Christina shook her head and lowered her voice. “He’s attempting to move on, not because you hurt him.” She said seriously. “But because he thinks you’re hurting.”

  I stared at her in confusion.

  “I think we both know Andy doesn’t run away from pain. In his fucked up little mind, if anything it makes him hold on to you even more. He’s a persistent little asshole.” Christina whispered as though letting me in on a little secret.

  I thought about what she said and looked down at the glass in my hand.

  Christina gave me another of her infamous sad smile. “Can you promise me something Ornelia?” She asked.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You’ll never give up on Andy.” She said seriously. “Ever. Can you promise me that?”

  “That sounds like a ridiculous promise.” I said.

  Christina didn’t say anything as she kept staring at me. I shifted uncomfortably.

  “You don’t see it yet, but you’re good for him.” She said softly. “Probably not now, but later…you understand him…more so than I do, and I understand him a lot.” She said wisely.

  “I don’t understand him at all.” I muttered.

  Christin
a sighed. “Just promise me.” She said. “You’ll understand what I mean in a couple years.”

  “Okay fine…yes, I promise, I’ll never give up on Andy.” I said. “Happy?”

  She nodded. “My work here is done.” She said grinning.

  I rolled my eyes as I grabbed her hand. “Let’s dance birthday girl.”

  Christina groaned. “You’ll be the death of me.” She said following behind me.

  *******

  An hour later I found myself once again on the third floor balcony, but by myself. I smiled softly as I watched the dancing bodies below me. Nico and Seth were putting on a show, demonstrating moves that were definitely revealed because of their drunken nature. I laughed. I was going to miss them all so much with this new opportunity presented to me. We’d all been through a lot, Jazmine, Nico, Brittany and I…and they stuck with me every step of the way. I really had amazing friends that I took for granted. I sighed as I turned around to look at the empty hall. Would it be easy to make friends in Europe? I should probably learn French or Italian or something.