January and the Single Heart

by Zetterwall, Vi

  Glen leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. It was probably time to start brushing up the resume’. Maybe I should rethink that offer from McClaren Construction.

  Louis leaned over one more time. “You gonna tell her?”

  Glen just shook his head. “Tried twice already. I think that bus has left the station. I’m just going to finish the P&L and try to slink out of here when everyone’s gone.”

  Lou left for the night and as the others filed out, Glen couldn’t help but think of Laurel and Hardy and their signature line – ‘This is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into, Ollie.’

  It had been a wild day. Thomas had brought in several large accounts and a pair of consultants that all needed hand holding and presentations. Jan and the whole office had been preparing for this day for six weeks and everyone was dressed to the nines. The day had gone well but it had been one dog and pony show after another and by 5:15, when the dust had settled, Jan was exhausted.

  Well, the good news is that I haven’t had time to be nervous about tonight, Jan thought to herself. The day went by so fast and now she had just enough time to clean off her desk, update some files and get ready for Eddie to pick her up at six. She hadn’t even had time to call or check with him today but she saw him here so all should be good. He got off at 3:30 so he had plenty of time to go home and change and be back here by six. She went to the Ladies room, noticing along the way that the office had emptied quickly tonight. She might be the last one there. She powdered up a bit and cleared a slight smudge off her skirt. She looked in the mirror and thought she was looking good. Well, good, considering what she had to work with. She returned to her desk, grabbed her cell phone and noticed the battery was low. She’d have to remember to recharge it in the car. She selected Eddie’s name from her contacts list and tapped the dial button.

  Eddie answered almost immediately. She liked that about him. “Jan, I was just going to call you.”

  Jan smiled into her phone, “Great minds think alike. What a day! I’m just wrapping things up here and I should be ready in about 15 minutes.”

  There was a pause. “That’s why I was calling …” Eddie explained. “I, uh, something has come up. I’m afraid I can’t make it.” He let the ensuing silence speak the rest for him.

  “Eddie, are you joking? You know how important this is to me. I told everyone I was bringing you. I need you.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. Really. But, I’m not feeling great and, you know, this may not be a really good idea anyway. Maybe you can just say I got the flu or something. I, uh, gotta go. Sorry”

  He rang off. Jan just stood there and then slammed the phone down. “Dammit! I can’t frigging believe it.” She sat down and began to tear up. There was no way to salvage this night. She would have to go and be pleasant and pretend to be happy, chatting with everyone with the equivalent of egg on her face. And they would all be kind and pretend not to notice. It was humiliating.

  She wiped her eyes and as she did, Glen came around the corner. “Jan, you OK?”

  “I told you not to talk to me. Yes, I am fine. Now leave me alone.”

  Glen beat a hasty retreat back to his office. Jan grabbed her coat and headed to the parking lot. Glen went back to his paperwork and started finishing up for the night. A cold beer sounded good. He was a bit overdressed for O’Brien’s but he could loosen his tie and find a way to fit in. He spent the next fifteen minutes tying up loose ends and then went to the Men’s room. When he came back he heard a clang and a trashcan came flying down the hallway to his left. He froze for a second and then relaxed when he heard her voice.

  “Dammit it all to hell! How does this shit keep happening to me?” Jan was screaming it now, assuming no one was within earshot. When Glen walked into the room, she stared at him and yelled “What are you looking at? Haven’t you seen me pissed off enough yet?”

  Glen held up both hands. “Sorry, I’m always in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’d leave but somehow I am guessing you’ve got car problems.”

  “No, I have a car disaster. Someone did a hit and run number on me. Backing into the right rear wheel well and smashed it up so bad the chassis looks crooked. No note, nothing. And it probably won’t be worth fixing. And the timing sucks. I have an important family function tonight and I’m already late. So that is what I’ve got!”

  Glen shook his head, “I’m sorry. Can I give you a lift somewhere?”

  “No! Just butt out! I’ll call a cab or get a rental or something.”

  Glen knew when it was best to slip away so he went back to his office and closed the door. A few minutes later, he could hear Jan yelling at her phone. Then there was quiet for a few minutes and then she was yelling again. This repeated a few times and then it was silent. That beer was calling his name so he figured she finally found a cab company that could do a rapid pickup on a busy Friday night during rush hour and must have left. As he exited his office, Jan stood right there at the door.

  She looked as if a smile had not crossed her face in a hundred years. Her eyes were red from crying and she was exhausted beyond words. “It seems I am destined tonight to experience one humiliation after another. I have come to say I am sorry about what I said and I need to take you up on that offer to give me a lift if it is still possible.”

  She didn’t look him in the eyes as she said it. She looked off to the side and every word felt like it was being torn out of her soul one syllable at a time. To her immense relief, Glen did not make it worse. He just pulled his keys out of his pocket and stated, “Let’s go.”

  Neither one said anything else until Glen pulled his Camry up to the cross street as they exited the parking lot. Then, keeping it brief, Glen asked, “Where to?”

  “I-90 East. I’m sorry but it is all the way out by Issaquah.” He turned left and headed toward the freeway entrance. Again they travelled in silence until they left Mercer Island and entered Bellevue across the waterway. Suddenly, the traffic slowed to a standstill as they approached Bellevue Way.

  Jan looked over at Glen. “This is all I need. Another delay. I should be there already. What else can go wrong?”

  They sat in the traffic without moving more than twenty feet for ten more minutes. Cars on the right were moving a bit faster so Glen pulled over into the lane and as they did they could see a slew of flashing emergency lights about a half mile ahead. Looked like a multi-car smashup. “I know a way around this.” Glen declared. He took the Factoria exit and shot up SE 36th, running parallel to the freeway. At 150th, they merged back on and were moving at a good pace once again.

  “Thanks. I just gotta get there soon.” Jan explained needlessly.

  “I know. You are wound as tight as a drum. What happened tonight? I mean before the car issue.”

  Jan started crying. She wiped her face with a Kleenex and then unloaded. She needed someone, anyone, even Glen, to understand what had happened. She told him everything. From her teenage years taking care of the younger kids to the moment when Eddie let her down. She explained how she had prepared for tonight for so long and then had it all decimated by Eddie’s lame excuse and the untimely demise of her aged Chevy. When she was done, she stifled another cry and slumped back into her seat.

  As she talked she had pointed to Exit 15 and guided him deeper into the Sammamish Plateau. They were almost there.

  “So that’s it. Now you know what a pathetic dating disaster I am and how desperate I have become. Just to please my Mother. I can’t believe I told you all that stuff. I imagine everyone in the office will know this too now by Monday. That will be a nice bit of revenge for you won’t it.”

  Glen glanced at her. “Did you say something? Sorry, I wasn’t really listening.”

  Jan gazed over at him. “You know, just when I start thinking that you are a pretty nice guy sometimes, then I remember you like to cheat on your girlfriend.”

  “You know, about that, I really should tell you …”

  Jan butted in, “Oh slow down, take
this right turn here. It’s that big blue house at the end of the cul-de-sac.”

  Glen eased off the pedal now as he approached. “Oh, you mean the one with absolutely no parking anywhere nearby.”

  “Doesn’t matter, this is a big deal tonight so my Dad brought in valet service to help with parking. Just pull into the circular drive and you can drop me off up front. I have to get the gift out of the back too. Thanks for giving me the lift. I guess … I guess I owe you one now.”

  Glen pulled up, stopped the car and got out along with Jan. He unlocked the trunk so she could get her gift out. At that point a swirl of people erupted out the front door and Jan was surrounded by family and friends welcoming her. Her mother was there leading the pack and she embraced Jan like a long-lost daughter and then turned to Glen. “And this must be Ed! I am so happy to meet you.” She reached out and put her arms around Glen and hugged him almost as hard as she had hugged her daughter. Jan tried to stop her and mumbled something that sounded like “Mom, no …” but it got lost in the crowd’s noise.

  Glen smiled back at Mrs. Falkenberg. “You know, actually I think you misheard Jan when she said my name. It’s not Ed, its Red.” Glen made a silly gesture with his fingers tapping the part of his hair where the reddish tone showed through. “She always calls me that. It’s just a nickname. My real name is Glen, but regardless of that, I am very happy to be here. Now, it’s cold out here. Let me walk you back in.” And with that, he put her arm in his and escorted her into the house with Jan trailing carrying her gift.

  Dina Falkenberg paraded proudly about the room introducing everyone she bumped into to Red, her daughter’s boyfriend. A few times she mentioned the word, fiancé, and Glen simply went along with it all. Jan continued fighting her way through the crowd, trying in vain to catch up and stop this farce. By the time she caught up with them, Glen had met four of her siblings, her father and virtually every one of her Mom’s best friends.

  When she arrived, almost out of breath at the wine bar, she snagged Glen by his arm and whined, “Mom, don’t monopolize him. I need a minute alone with my guy.” She smiled pleasantly and Dina was only too happy to let go of Red and let him be displayed around the room on Jan’s arm for a change. Jan continued smiling at everyone, nodding a few times to folks and leading Glen into the hallway and up the stairs. Loud enough for others to hear, she said, “Let me show you the upstairs and I’ll show you my old room.”

  That, of course, was just a ruse. Glen never got to see her old room. She stopped halfway down the hallway and pinned him to the wall. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing? What did you say to my Mom? She thinks you are Eddie?”

  “No, I told her she must have heard you wrong. I said you called me Red. You know, because of the reddish tone in my hair. I told her it was a nickname. She bought it.”

  “I don’t believe this. Every time I think things can’t get worse, another fire drill starts. Cripes! The damage is done. She already introduced you to everyone. They think you and I are together.”

  “I thought that was the whole idea. You sounded so miserable I just thought I would help you out a bit. Like you told the real Eddie: It’s only for three hours. I get to have some free food, some free drinks and all I have to do is pretend to be your beau and listen to some bad jokes for a few hours. I can do that. Relax. When it is over, I can take you home, and you can tell your Mom that we broke up and you’re never going to see me again … and neither will she. Isn’t that what you were going to do with Eddie?”

  Jan looked at him, straight in the eyes this time. Slowly, she articulated, “Yes, but I liked it better when it was my plan not yours. You are a loose cannon and I don’t want to end up as fodder here.”

  Glen just cocked his head and smiled. Resignedly, with about as much enthusiasm as a night janitor mopping the floor, she agreed, “All right, but keep a low profile and try not to do too much damage, OK.”

  Glen looked right at her and smiled. “Got it. Low profile.”

  She straightened herself up and actually helped Glen do the same. Then they returned to the downstairs party. They met a few of her friends while she was still holding on to him and she introduced him interchangeably as Glen and as Red. Just to keep their stories consistent.

  As the evening went on, they mingled separately but Jan tried to keep an eye on him at all times. She watched him as he seemed quite at ease talking with just about anyone, young, old, male, female, whatever. He looked quite dapper in a very fine fitting gray suit with a perfectly matched blue tie. He’s probably giving off a better impression than Eddie would have and … why do I hate that so much? Jan thought.

  She watched him drinking conservatively, alternating mineral waters with an occasional glass of wine. And she observed him with Aunt Marion, who rarely was pleased with anyone. He spent close to twenty minutes talking with her. It was starting to bug her. What could he possibly be saying to Marion to keep her engaged for all that time? And she WAS engaged. For crying out loud, she was actually smiling. The last time Aunt Marion smiled was … well … never. But there she was. Talking to my phony baloney boyfriend and practically grinning from ear to ear.

  With her curiosity getting the best of her, she edged her way across the room towards Glen and her Aunt. Halfway there, she was accosted by Jennifer and Hannah, her two youngest sisters. Hannah whispered in her ear, “Come with us, girl, we want to talk”

  “In a minute. I have to check on something.” Neither sister wanted to be put off but Jan made it clear. “I have to do something. I’ll get back to you in a few minutes.” At that, they both glanced at each other and backed off. “OK, later, though, all right?” Hannah asked it but wasn’t really a question.

  Jan continued toward her Aunt and Glen but when she got there, only her Aunt remained. Jan waved and came to greet her. She looked around as she did it. “Aunt Marion, it has been too long. I saw you chatting with Red and …”

  “Red? His name is Glen. If you had any sense you would knock off the nickname thing. He certainly had a lot to say about you!” Aunt Marion was actually smiling … and smiling at Jan. That was a first.

  “Oh really. I hope he said nice things.” Jan tried to give a little laugh but it came out more like a cough.

  “He described you quite glowingly. In fact, I believe he used every complimentary term in the dictionary to describe you. The man has a wonderful vocabulary. Looks to me like you have him hooked pretty well.”

  “Oh, I don’t know …”

  “Trust me”, Aunt Marion continued, “he won’t be fighting you much as you reel him in. And, by the way, he even added that you mentioned me to him on several occasions and always said how much you admired me. I found him to be refreshingly honest and I would have to say that you have my wholehearted approval with this one.” With her blessing given, Marion turned and walked away. Jan stood there shell shocked for a few moments and then scanned the room in search of Glen.

  She looked all over the living room but could not see him anywhere. She checked the kitchen, the food tables, the wine bar, the hallway, and even stood outside the Men’s room to see who came out. Glen was nowhere to be found. A small part of her panicked. What could he be up to?

  She heard the kids playing in Mom’s painting room which had been transformed for tonight into the children’s play room. She walked up to the doorway and peered in. Hannah’s sons were playing with little race cars on the floor to the right. And, there, in the middle of the floor, was Glen, sitting cross-legged with three five or six year old girls. They had their play dolls and plastic tea set laid out and each was sipping their pretend drink. One of the girls, someone Jan did not know, said, “And Uncle Glen, would you like another cookie?”

  Glen made a dramatic pat of his tummy and reached out to take one of the invisible cookies from the plate. “Oh Miss Kaitlyn, I would be so happy to have one more. The last one was so light and delicious it just melted in my mouth. You are a very fine cook. Thank you.”

  Li
ttle Kaitlyn gave the appropriate ‘You’re welcome’ response and passed the cookies to the others. Glen made a big show of finishing his tea and then stood up, spotting Jan in the doorway. “I think that was the finest tea I have ever had, girls. Thank you for inviting me to your tea party.” The girls all laughed and waved goodbye as Glen turned to Jan and walked out into the hallway.

  “Found some new friends, I see” deadpanned Jan.

  “I sort of stumbled onto them. I heard little voices laughing and I was drawn to them. I like the way youngsters think and express themselves. I wouldn’t mind having a whole brood of those little rug rats someday.”

  “You like kids?”

  “What’s not to like? They’re full of wonder. They have no hidden agendas except that they want to be loved and cared for. They are fascinated by all the wondrous things on this earth that we take for granted and they start out with such a pure intent. I always thought I’d have a slew of kids to play Daddy to but I’m getting kind of a late start on that now.” Glen stopped walking and looked back at Jan. She was looking at him in a way he had not seen before. “Sorry”, he added. “Long answer to a short question. Yes, I like kids.”

  Jan started to say something but Jennifer and Hannah entered the hallway, grabbed Jan by the arms and almost carried her away. Jen looked up at Glen, smiled and said, “Sorry, we must borrow your squeeze for a moment. We promise to return her later.”

  Glen just watched as they carted her away. They moved on, practically dragging her into the den, closing the door behind them.

  “Where have you been keeping him? He is a walking Ken Doll, Jan!” Hannah was gushing with excitement.

  “Oh, geez, I, you know, just wanted to not make a big deal about this one. Sometimes these things don’t last you know.” Jan looked at both her sisters and registered the look on their faces. Once again, she had said the wrong thing.