The Heaviness of Knowing

by Sharolyn G. Brown

  They are likely being interrogated for information. We believe this is why Jonar tried to attack the Rep. He had to avoid being interrogated and knew they would rather kill him than let him harm a Rep, signed Edo. I was able to get some information today from my Resistor contacts. Along with Jonar, some of the other members of our Resistor cell were among the people killed yesterday. My contact believes there is a spy in the Resistors who betrayed Jonar and his part of our cell to the Reps or Security Force. The spy turned him in because they were planning to damage a sensitive target here in the compound.

  When Edo did not continue, Roxal prodded, What sensitive target?

  The control room. Jonar and his team were going to damage the control room for the entire compound. It regulates the surveillance system, it is the energy source for our equipment, and it even regulates the air exchange system to make sure we always have fresh air to breathe. Once the control room was taken out, then the other Resistor cells were going to implement organized attacks and conquer the sections where we have people and eventually take over the entire compound. Once we were in control, we were going to recruit those who wanted to join us and go from there. Edo removed his hands from Roxal’s stomach.

  As she thought about what Edo had just told her, a few questions came to mind. How would the control room be destroyed?

  Through an explosion, primarily. There are some things that would require hands-on destruction.

  How would the attack be coordinated? Roxal continued.

  A time and a helio would be agreed upon by the Resistor leaders, and it would be communicated to each part of the cells. Then, individually, each group would carry out their assigned task or tasks.

  How would you handle the Reps and the Security Force and the Talented and Honored Citizens?

  She felt Edo take a deep breath before he answered this question. The Reps and Security Force members would be killed. The Talented and Honored would be given the opportunity to renounce The Keepers. Those that did not would be killed.

  Roxal thought in silence. Edo waited, without signing anything, for her next questions. But, if you are destroying the control center for the compound, how long would it take you to repair it? Would we not need it to live?

  Edo took another deep breath. If we were going to remain in the compound, yes, we would need to repair the control center. But we would not be staying in the compound. We would be leaving to join Resistor groups that live outside the compound.

  Roxal grabbed his hands to interrupt him. Then she asked, What do you mean outside the compound? Outside the compound is a poisonous wasteland. We will die out there.

  Now Edo grabbed Roxal’s hands. Then he replied, No, we would not die out there. My contacts say that is just another lie. The poisonous, scorched land the Reps show us videos of is not accurate. It is possible our world once looked like that. Or, it is possible that the scene they repeatedly show us is just made up. But according to the Resistors, outside the compound is safe. Making us believe we cannot leave is just another ruse The Keepers used to keep us trapped in this compound with no options but to serve them.

  Roxal knew that The Keepers were liars. She believed that there was nothing they would not do to serve their own goals. But of all of the lies Edo had told her about, this one was the hardest to believe. Could it be possible that The Keepers were lying about the condition of the world outside the compound? Yes, it was possible. But the condition of the outside world was the one truth she thought she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt. Now to be told that it was just another lie. It was a lot for Roxal to absorb. Edo seemed to know this because he did not tell her anything more. He moved closer to her in the sleeping unit. Roxal turned her back to him, and he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her body close to his. It was not long before she was asleep.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Lauren, have you heard a word I’ve said?”

  Lauren spat the foaming toothpaste into the sink and raised her head. “I’m sorry, Kyle, I was thinking about work.” Lauren rinsed her mouth with water from the faucet, dried it with a paper towel, and turned to face him. “What were you saying?”

  Kyle was standing in the bathroom’s doorway, basically blocking her inside. He was just over six feet tall with broad shoulders, dark brown eyes, and almost black hair that he kept cut low to his head. She walked over to him, stood on her tiptoes to add a few inches to her five-foot-seven-inch height, and gave him playful kisses on his lips. She, in fact, had not been listening to him, but she didn’t want him to get mad about it.

  Kyle didn’t kiss her back. Instead, he slowly shook his head. “I was asking about dinner tonight. What do you want to do? Or will I be eating alone? Again.”

  “I don’t know. It depends on—”

  Kyle walked away without hearing the rest of her response.

  Lauren followed him into their bedroom. “Kyle, I will try my best to not work late. But you know that we’re at a critical point in my project, and if my team is working late, then I have to also.”

  He turned to face her. “Critical point. Yes, I’m aware of this critical point. This is the critical point that keeps you at work late most evenings. It’s the same critical point that makes you go to work most weekends. And, this is the same critical point that’s been delaying our wedding for the last two years.”

  Lauren let out a sigh and covered her eyes with her hand. “The wedding? Is that what this is about? I’ve told you, when this project is finished—”

  “—you’ll have time to plan the wedding,” Kyle said in unison with her. “But Lauren, when will it ever be finished? You work for a technology firm that creates computer components. You will never be done. It feels like we’ll always have to put our lives on hold for your career.”

  “When did we start talking about the wedding and putting our lives on hold for my career? I thought I was answering your question about dinner. Tonight.” Lauren stood with her hands on her hips, staring at her fiancé.

  “Never mind, Lauren. Have a good day at work.” He walked over, kissed her on her cheek, and then left their bedroom. She didn’t go after him. Instead, she returned to the bathroom to finish getting dressed for work. She had just begun applying her makeup when she heard his car leave their garage.

  ***

  Humming to herself, Lauren was attaching her latest prototype to the testing harness when she heard one of her female coworkers call out, “Is that everybody? We don’t want to be late for happy hour. It ends at seven.”

  “Well, it’s everybody we invited,” a male coworker replied, and everybody in their group laughed as they walked out of the door and left the lab. Now that everyone was gone, there was quiet. Lauren liked working in quiet. She hated lying to Kyle about everyone working late, but he didn’t seem to understand when she chose to work late over coming home to be with him.

  Yup, all of the invited people are with you. Which is practically everyone but me, Lauren thought.

  With the chip in the harness and connected to the testing machine, she began the process.

  “Lauren, did you forget to email your progress report to me? I told you, I have a meeting with the Director of Research tomorrow, and I need to report on the microprocessor.”

  She looked up and saw her Team Leader, Lucas, standing across the testing table. “No, I didn’t forget. I just thought it would be a good idea for me to deliver the progress report in person. Remember? I suggested it to you this morning, and you said we’d talk about it.”

  “No. You did offer to come to the meeting, but I told you I could handle it like I always do. I do remember saying maybe we would consider your participation in a future meeting. But future meeting did not mean tomorrow’s meeting.” Lucas walked around the table and stood beside her. “Lauren, I just need your report for tomorrow. Are you going to send it to me before you leave? And speaking of leaving, why don’t you go home? I’m sure your fiancé is tired of you staying late every night.”

  “He understa
nds my dedication to my job,” Lauren snapped. “Besides, I have a few more ideas I want to try, then I’ll leave. I woke up this morning thinking I should maybe reconsider some of my material choices.”

  “Fine. Just don’t forget to send me the progress report. I need it tonight.” Lucas opened his mouth, then snapped it shut and tightened his lips, as if he were struggling with something he wanted to say. He stepped closer to Lauren and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. “Lauren, you are a great designer. You have insights and ideas that are more innovative than anyone else on this team. But you’re not a good team player. And teamwork is of the utmost importance here at TomGen Tech.”

  A feeling of warmth spread from her chest outward and upward. Lauren was sure that if her russet, medium brown skin were lighter, Lucas would be able to see her turning red.

  Lucas continued, “I need you to be a good team member and email that progress report to me. And I’m going to be a good teammate to you and tell you to go home.” He removed his hands from her shoulders. “Bye, Lauren,” he said as he left the testing room.

  “Bye,” Lauren replied through clenched teeth.

  When she heard the door to their floor open and close, she removed her prototype chip from the harness and locked it in the cabinet in her cubicle.

  Good team player, she thought mockingly as she opened the progress report form and began to fill it out. I am a team player. I let you take credit for all of the hard work I do on this microprocessor, don’t I? Lauren hit the keys on her keyboard with intensity. It never seemed to fail. She was always left out of group social activities, but she was thought of as “not being a team player.” How can you be a team player if no one on the team wants to play with you?

  Lauren attached her report to an email and hit send. As the sent email confirmation appeared on her screen, she had an idea. She checked the company IM program to see if the Director was still in the office. The indicator beside his name showed that he was still signed into his computer. So she left the lab and caught the elevator to his floor.

  The twenty-eighth floor was pretty quiet also. She walked around until she found the Director’s office and knocked on its closed door.

  “Come in,” she heard Mr. Grady say through the door.

  When she walked in, she found Elliot Grady, Director of Research and Development, sitting at his desk, reviewing what looked like design drawings and comparing them to something on his computer monitor. He didn’t stop working as she entered.

  “Mr. Grady, sir, do you have a few minutes to talk?”

  “Not really. Is this important?” He still hadn’t looked up to see who she was.

  “Yes. My name is Lauren Wray. I’m the lead designer of the new microprocessor.” She paused to give him time to react.

  “I’m familiar. You and Lucas are working on that project, aren’t you?” He used a red pen on his desk to draw several circles onto the drawings and make notes.

  “Well, I am the primary designer, and Lucas mentioned you wanted a progress report. So I came up here to give it to you in person.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Elliot replied. “I have a progress meeting with Lucas tomorrow, and he’ll tell me what I need to know.”

  “I did fill out a progress report for him. But since I was here working late and I saw that you were also, I thought you would maybe want to talk to me, the chip’s designer.”

  Elliot sat the red pen on his desk and finally looked up at her. “Lauren. I appreciate your willingness to update me on the status of the microchip. But I’d rather get the update tomorrow. From Lucas. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to finish tonight.”

  Elliot picked up the pen and began making edits to the drawings again. Lauren stood there, in shock, for about ten seconds, and then she left his office. She returned to her cube and called Kyle.

  “Hey, baby. Have you eaten dinner yet?” Lauren asked.

  “No, I haven’t eaten yet. I was waiting to hear from you,” Kyle replied.

  “Well, if you call in a dinner order, I’ll pick it up on my way home.”

  “So the team isn’t working late tonight?” he asked.

  “No. No one is working late tonight. And since everyone’s gone home, I wanted to have dinner with you.” She left out that most nights she was the only person who worked late.

  “I’ll order from the Chinese place near the house. I’ll see you when you get home. Bye.”

  “Bye,” Lauren replied and shut down her computer before gathering her belongings and leaving the office.

  ***

  “So spill it. What’s wrong?” Kyle asked Lauren as she stared down at her food.

  She looked across their small square breakfast table and smiled. “Nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”

  They were sitting together at the table located in the breakfast nook where they ate most of their meals. The rectangular kitchen was quite large, especially when you considered neither of them ever really cooked in it.

  “Because you’ve barely said anything since you got home and you’re not eating your Shrimp with Lobster Sauce. And I know that’s your favorite. So, what’s wrong?”

  Lauren placed her fork on the paper towel beside her plate. “I’m sorry. I just have a lot of work stuff on my mind. Like I can’t get anyone to see all of the work that I’m doing. Lucas tells everyone above him that my project is our project. So they all think he’s working on it with me. When he isn’t doing anything but taking credit for it.”

  “Well, have you tried to make sure people know that he isn’t really doing anything?”

  “Yeah, I tried to talk to the Director this evening. And I was shut down. I’m just frustrated. I’m so close to making the microprocessor work. I just don’t want Lucas taking all the credit for my hard work.”

  Kyle got up from the table and went to the wine refrigerator in the corner of the breakfast nook area where they were sitting. As he opened a bottle and poured two glasses, he said, “I wish I could help you. I know how hard you work. We’ll simply have to trust that upper management also knows how hard you’re working.”

  He walked back over to the table, sat one of the glasses in front of her, and took his seat. Lauren took a sip and exhaled a deep breath. She placed her hand on his as it rested on the table.

  “Thank you, baby. And about this morning. I’m sorry. I was thinking about some new things I wanted to try with the processor, so I zoned out. I promise, when the microchip is finished, we will start planning the wedding. In fact, let’s set the date for nine months from the day it’s completed. Deal?”

  Lauren held up her hand for Kyle to shake. A big smile spread across his face.

  “Deal,” he replied as he shook her hand.

  As she looked at his happy face, she remembered something she’d forgotten to write in her design notebook at work about material selection. She let go of his hand and took out her phone to make note of it before she forgot again.

  CHAPTER 5

  The special assignment work detail had, so far, lasted two helios. Each end of helio in their sleeping unit, Edo would give Roxal what information had been discussed by him and the other Resistors. Because she had told Edo that she wanted to be fully involved, he spared no details. However, with each helio, she felt more and more unsure of what she was doing.

  None of the Travelers who had been taken from her mental training session had returned to training. However, none had been paraded out in front of them during Glorious Session and executed or sentenced to banishment either. It was as if they had disappeared once they left with the Rep.

  Even her dreamscapes with Lauren were being affected. Instead of being able to focus on helping Lauren overcome her problems with the microprocessor, she was dealing with disruptions caused by the appearance of dream-Edo. Before, he had been an occasional nuisance. Now it was like he was following her into the dreamscape each night.

  After the second helio of the special assignment, Roxal had learned the bas
ic outline of the plan.

  The number of Resistor members we have in this compound is relatively small, but we do not have time to wait. We must act now, Edo started.

  This compound. Though she had always thought of her conformity as her protector, it had also been her captor and her blinders. The concept of the existence of other compounds had never occurred to her before. Something as simple as questioning if the entirety of her people could exist in one compound was a thought she never had because she was never told to have that thought before.

  If the number of members is small, should you just forget this plan? Roxal asked. Should you forget this plan and try to hide from the Reps?

  Roxal, Edo began. Even though he was not speaking, she felt that he had said her name in exasperation. We cannot stop now. There is no hiding from the Reps now. They are actively searching for us. They will not stop until they kill us. And anyone they believe may be working with us.

  You are right, there is nothing that will keep us safe. She paused as this realization sunk in, again. How many people do we have to carry out the attack?

  I do not have a count of how many Citizens are members of the Resistors, but I do know that there are members in six of the eight sections of the compound. And we will all be needed.

  What is the plan, and what will we have to do?

  There will be coordinated explosions in several sections of the compound. Some will be nonessential areas to hopefully disguise our true targets. We will be responsible for planting and detonating an explosive somewhere in our section.

  Where will the explosive come from? Where will we plant it? How are we going to survive the explosion? Roxal’s hands shook as she signed these questions to Edo.

  Edo caught her hands in his and held them. He did not start signing anything, so Roxal assumed he was trying to help her stop shaking and not interrupting her to say something.

  When she was no longer trembling, he let her hands go and waited to allow her to continue if she wanted. She did not. Instead, she waited for him to answer her questions.