Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  And I will be leaving Jasper.

  After a while, V isn’t the only one crying her heart out.

  *****

  V has been such an important part of my life, and also to my parents. They have treated her like one of their own, and I know my mom isn’t her real mom, but she's a pretty good substitute. So I called her after V and I stopped balling like babies as mom’s always know what to do.

  “I’m glad I didn’t eat that last burrito,” V wheezes as my mom and I are tightening the ribbon at the back of her corset.

  “Beauty is pain,” I reply while pulling the ribbon through the bottom eyelet, and tying the remaining ribbon into a bow.

  My mom and I stand back to admire our work, and we both have the same reaction, we gasp.

  I bite down on my lip to stop myself from crying, but it's too late for my mom who is pulling a tissue out of her purse, dabbing at the corner of her eyes.

  V is the most beautiful bride in the world.

  Her green eyes are highlighted with liquid eyeliner, applied thinly on her upper eyelids. Her face has a light cover of foundation, and contrasted with a bronzer to bring out her cheekbones. Her natural ruby lips are shinning with a shimmering, clear lip-gloss, and her black hair is piled high above her head. With her simple, but effective makeup and hairstyle, she looks how Audrey Hepburn did in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

  “Do I look okay?” she asks, as my mom and I are staring at her, speechless.

  My mom bursts into tears, and I hold back my sob, because I know if I let my tears run free, they will be the big fat ugly ones that leave you wheezing and breathless.

  “V, you look absolutely beautiful,” I reply, wiping away a runaway tear.

  “Really?” she beams up at me.

  “Really,” I nod.

  She jumps up and down and attempts to give me a hug, but her puffy dress gets in the way.

  “Have fun going to the bathroom in that,” I giggle.

  She smiles. “That's your job. As Maid of Honour you are to hold up my dress and wipe where I can’t reach.”

  I pull a slightly disgusted face and she cackles. “I’m kidding. Although, if I have too many champagnes, and need to use the bathroom often, I may be calling on you for help.”

  We both burst out laughing and my mom brings out her camera.

  “Smile girls,” she says while holding up the camera, ready for us to pose.

  I look at my best friend, remembering everything we have been through together.

  “I love you.”

  She leans forward, kissing me on my cheek.

  “Right back at ya kiddo,” she says, while my mother blinds us with her flash.

  *****

  We have arrived at the venue early, which of course breaks all tradition of the bride arriving late. But nothing about my best friend is traditional per se, and that’s why I love her.

  We are sitting in the bridal suite, thirty minutes before the ceremony is set to commence, and I can tell V is slightly nervous by the way she is tapping her stilettoed foot incessantly. I walk over to the chaise and put my hand on her jumpy leg, which instantly stops her leg vibrating.

  “Sorry,” she apologizes. “Now I know why the bride is meant to arrive late. This waiting is killing me,” she says looking out the window which overlooks the garden she will be married in.

  Standing up, I pour us a glass of the French bubbly Sally has kindly selected for us.

  Hopefully some booze will calm her down, or at the very least take the edge off.

  “Cheers,” I smile, handing her a glass.

  We both down it quickly, and she looks at me as I stand up to pour us another glass.

  “You look beautiful Ava,” she smiles.

  I look down at my dress, fingering the silky material.

  “Dominique may be a total pain in the ass, but she knows her way around a dress.”

  Dominique has fixed my indecent neckline, and now it sits perfectly over my bust. She has shortened the hem so it falls just below the knee, and brought it in at the waist, so it hugs my middle closely. Going with the whole wedding colours of red and white, I have a beautiful French manicure on my fingernails and toes. They of course compliment my bouquet of flaming red and white roses. My makeup is very similar to V’s, but my hair is curled, and sits around my face and shoulders. My shoes are red, peep toe kitten heels, which match the colour of my dress perfectly. Thankfully they are not too high, as I am very apprehensive walking down the aisle in front of a million pairs of eyeballs.

  “Ava, are you and Jasper back together?” she asks as I hand back her refiled glass.

  I automatically touch my neck where I have tried to cover the faint red mark my lover left me. I will have to touch it up throughout the day, but it can’t be seen, unless you’re looking for it.

  I shrug. “I really don’t know V. I think so. He came over last night and told me he loved me,” I smile, thinking of the memory.

  “What? When?”

  I laugh. “When you were snoring the house down.”

  V throws me a cheeky look, but genuinely asks, “I’m serious though. What’s going to happen when you go back to Singapore?”

  And that’s the million dollar question.

  “I don’t know,” I sigh, dishearten.

  “You should stay here,” V says like it’s that easy.

  “I can’t, I’m on a scholarship,” I reply as I take a seat near her.

  “So?”

  “So. So I can’t just up and leave.”

  But as I say the words I think, why the hell can’t I?

  “Why not? You’re not a prisoner, you can leave anytime you want. You tell them you want to finish off your course down here, and if you have to make up classes or whatever, do it.”

  Wow, when put into perspective, V is right. I have completed most of my core components, and would probably need to make up extra classes, but hey, it would be so worth it if it meant I could complete my degree in California.

  I look at her and smile. “You know, your brilliance never ceases to amaze me.”

  She shrugs my comment off like it’s common knowledge.

  “If I do get a transfer back here, it’s got to be for me, not Jasper. The last time I made a decision to better myself, it turned to total shit because I wanted to better myself for him.”

  V nods, and her veil shifts with her movement.

  “I still can’t believe you’re wearing a veil,” I giggle, looking at it sitting prettily atop her head.

  “I still can’t believe you were dating Harper,” she rebukes quickly.

  Cringing, she sees my reaction. “What?”

  I shake my head, not wanting to talk about this now, or ever.

  “Tell me,” V insists. “So help me, if you don’t tell me...” she says with a look of persistence on her face.

  I know she is not going to let this slide, wedding or not, she will get it out of me.

  “Well, we weren’t exactly... dating,” I mumble quickly, fiddling with the hem of my dress. “We were sorta... engaged,” I say abruptly and softly, hoping she didn’t hear me.

  “YOU WHAT!?”

  Okay, she definitely heard me.

  “Ava... I..fuck.. I am actually speechless.”

  Wow, that can’t be good.

  I bravely look at her. “I’m sorry I told you this on your wedding day.”

  Man, I am a shitty friend.

  “No, don’t be sorry. I’m glad you told me, because now it gives me more of an excuse to kick his ass! No one will question the bride when she goes ape shit at her best friend’s ex fiancée.”

  I cover my mouth to hide my smile.

  “Don’t worry about it. After today, I will never see him again.”

  As I confess my feelings to V, I thought I would feel remorse, but I don’t. This is a chapter in my life I am more than happy to close, and never revisit.

  “Did you tell Jasper?” V asks, cringing that my answer will be no.

  �
��Of course. I knew from the moment I saw him again that I had made a terrible mistake.”

  “Why did you accept in the first place Ava?” V asks, searching my face.

  Shrugging, I remember Jasper’s horrid goodbye note, the note I am yet to ask him about, but will do so after today. I need to know why he would write such a thing, but then act the total opposite when I returned back home.

  “It’s a long story V. One we will not be discussing on your wedding day.”

  And as if on cue, we hear the pre wedding music start.

  Both V and I look at one another and squeal.

  V begins rubbing her hands on her layers of tulle, her dress making a swishing noise with the action.

  “I’m nervous,” she admits.

  I comfort her by giving her a sympathetic smile. “Don’t be. I will be there to hold your hand if you need me.”

  She looks over at me, touched by my statement.

  “Really?”

  I nod sincerely.

  “Always.”

  Chapter 24

  I Do

  I am standing shakily, just off to the side, where the little arch I am to walk under is situated. I have taken a peek at the guests, and I would guess there are roughly one hundred people here. I think I am going to be sick.

  But there is no time to be sick because I hear Mark cue my music-the music that Jasper wrote for me.

  Goose bumps spread from head to toe just listening to the haunting, but beautiful introduction, and I listen intently for the change in the tempo, which is when I am to walk down the red carpet. My heart starts beating uncontrollably as I hear it, and I take my first step, striding out under the arch. Wow, the sight before me is purely breathtaking. The candles that are scattered everywhere set the mood for what this day is all about- love.

  Everyone is looking my way as I begin my descent down the red candled aisle. But there is only one person who has my full attention, and that of course is Jasper.

  As we lock eyes, I know that my decision is made. I am not going back to Singapore. I am staying here with him because this is where I belong, where I have always belonged.

  His music brings tears to my eyes, and I try my hardest for them not to fall, but I can’t help it. Looking at him, standing at the altar, gazing at me with pure love reflected in his eyes, is too much.

  The melody picks up tempo, and I can imagine Jasper’s fingers brushing over the keys, writing this piece of music for me. I smile at him and he returns my smile, his left dimple standing out on his clean shaven face.

  I make my way down the aisle without tripping (thankfully), and my eyes are still locked with Jasper’s, and they stay that way until I hear V’s music.

  Everyone stands, and we all turn to watch the beautiful bride make her grand entrance. I hear many guests gasp when they see her, and so they should, because she looks stunning. She takes small steps and I smile when I see my dad on her arm. I knew he was walking her down the aisle, but actually seeing it, clutches at my heart.

  Lucas is totally tearing up, and the sight of him crying sends tears rolling down my cheeks.

  I subtly wipe them away with the back of my hand and look at Jasper who mouths, “Are you okay?” with a sympathetic look on his face.

  I nod and give him a small smile.

  V has made her descent, and when she and Lucas lock eyes, I know they are meant to be.

  “Everyone please sit,” smiles Mark. “Friends, we have been invited to celebrate the union between two very special people. Their love for one another has grown, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.”

  *****

  The ceremony was simply beautiful, and now we are sitting at an elaborate garden table, drinking sweet white wine amongst this picturesque scenery, taking photos. Jasper and Lucas have been carted away by the photographer to take some ‘manly’ shots. So V and I are enjoying the five minutes we have to ourselves, and to also give our cheeks a break from smiling.

  “How do you feel?” I ask, sipping on my wine.

  She looks over at me, beaming.

  “I am so happy Ava.”

  I smile at her and a happiness sweeps over me.

  “Good, you deserve it. You deserve the best,” I reply, clinking our glasses together.

  “So do you.”

  She has a huge smile on her face as she looks over my shoulder, and I turn around to see what has made her smile like the Cheshire Cat.

  Jasper and Lucas are headed towards us, and now that my eyes aren’t drowning in tears, I can totally check Jasper out in all of his tuxedo glory.

  He looks freakin’ amazing. The suit hugs every part of him and compliments his lean, but toned physique. His hair is of course styled messily, but with a bit more hair product than he usually wears, it appears wet and windswept, and totally orgasmic. The sunlight is catching off the black pinstripes on his suit, and also reflecting off his shiny black shoes. He is attempting to readjust his bowtie, but when he sees V giving him a dirty look, he drops his hands by his side. He looks like a GQ model, and I want to totally kiss the big smile off his face.

  “Hey you,” he says behind me, dipping down, kissing my bare shoulder.

  “Hey yourself,” I reply, snuggling into his lips that are sending shivers down my arms.

  “You smell good,” he whispers huskily, kissing behind my ear.

  My eyes drift shut as his warm mouth feels amazing on my skin, and he continues giving me tiny butterfly kisses behind my ear, and down my neck. If he keeps this up, I am going to detonate.

  Hearing a camera click snaps me out of my haze, and I open my eyes to witness the photographer snapping a picture of Jasper and I.

  “That was beautiful, I had to capture it,” smiles the photographer, as Jasper and I both turn to look at him.

  “See, even the photographer thinks you’re beautiful,” he whispers, softly biting my earlobe.

  “I am pretty certain he is referring to the moment, not me,” I reply, chuckling.

  “Nope, just you,” Jasper answers confidently while kissing my temple.

  I could so get used to this.

  “Okay guys, photo time,” the photographer says, and we all groan.

  I have smiled way too much and my cheeks hurt. It is seriously not natural to smile as much as we have today.

  V has her feet propped up in Lucas’ lap with her eyes closed, and Lucas, God bless him, is massaging her feet. The photographer is looking at us, waiting for us to move, so I reluctantly get up from my seat and stand to face my man.

  I can't help myself as I totally check him out.

  “Damn, you look fine is a suit.”

  Jasper tugs at his collar, and cocks an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah, I know. It's hard being me,” he jokes, sighing dramatically.

  V exhales noisily while reaching down to find her shoes.

  “Okay husband, let’s go.”

  As soon as the word husband comes out of her mouth, she squeals in delight and throws herself at Lucas.

  “Husband. I like the sound of that,” and she kisses him passionately which the photographer captures on film.

  Finally after V and Lucas stop exchanging saliva, and she eventually gets past her layers of tulle to put on her shoes, we’re all set and ready for another stint of smiling our faces off. We walk down to the beautiful lake which looks simply stunning. The afternoon sun is reflecting off the water, enhancing the small ripples, and giving us loads of photo opportunities.

  As I look at the boathouse, memories of what Jasper and I did against the wall turn my face a bright crimson.

  Jasper is holding my hand, and he pulls me into him, so he can whisper into my ear. “Bring back any memories?”

  I blush even harder and Jasper smirks at my embarrassment.

  “Don't worry,” he says while running his pointer finger along my shoulder and down my arm. “Tonight I will be taking my time, kissing every inch of this perfect skin.”

  M
y eyes enlarge in shock because I don't know what I expected was going to happen tonight. I guess I am too afraid to even consider what is next for Jasper and I. But there is something I do know for certain. And that is, I am not going back to Singapore. The thought of going back there sends my body into a tailspin, and my mind into turmoil.

  I haven't told Jasper yet, as this is a decision only recently made. But, whatever happens between Jasper and I is irrelevant. Yes my decision is partly because of him, but mostly I made my choice to stay, because Los Angeles is my home.

  *****

  We're sitting in the bridal suite having champagne and canopies, waiting for everyone to be seated so the reception can commence. I am sitting on Jasper’s knee, and he has his strong arm around my waist, holding me tightly. Lucas and he are discussing music politics, and I am enjoying the serenity of being here with my friends, and my Jasper.

  I lean into him, totally contented, and he tightens his hold on my waist subconsciously, never missing a beat in talking to Lucas. Looking over at V, who has a stupid happy smile on her face, I return her stupid happy smile, and she winks at me when she watches Jasper place his hand on my knee, again not aware of his actions.

  This feels right, and this is where I belong. I just hope that once Jasper and I discuss everything: Harper, Indie, the note, our breakup and hopefully our makeup, that everything between us will be okay. I know the conversation is inevitable to move on, but I am still dreading it.

  Jasper must sense me stiffen up as he turns to look at me.

  “Everything okay?” he asks, rubbing my leg softly.

  This man, this human being is the reason why I breathe. Without him in my life, everything is black and white. But Jasper White, he adds every color of the spectrum into my world.

  I nod, my curls dancing around my face.

  He kisses my cheek and whispers, “You look beautiful.”

  V pretends to gag, while Lucas chuckles at her reaction.

  “Hey, this is tame compared to all the times we've been subjected to your blazing PDA,” I say, pointing my finger at my friend.

  V chuckles and has a think about my statement.