Surrender to Me (I Surrender Trilogy Book 2)

by James, Monica

  After a while she nods, and with a big grin on her face replies, “Fair enough.”

  *****

  Jasper and I are standing outside the double doors, waiting to make our grand entrance into the ballroom. I have my arm interlocked through his, and am slightly nervous I am going to fall flat on my face.

  “Please don’t let me fall on my face,” I whisper, as I can hear the announcer prepping the crowd for our entrance.

  Jasper chuckles while squeezing my hand. “I’ve got you. I won’t let you fall.”

  I give him a warm smile because I always feel safe in his arms.

  “I love you,” he says, surprising me.

  I know he has told me he has loved me before, but every time I hear it, I keel over.

  I open my mouth, in attempts to tell him how much I love him.

  “I...”

  He puts his finger over my lips and shakes his head. “Not yet.”

  Nodding reluctantly, I remember the promise I made him.

  Speaking of which. The way Harper was looking at me during the ceremony, has made me feel on edge for some reason. I can't put my finger on it, but I know when I do, the outcome won't be good.

  Brushing aside my doom and gloom thoughts, the doors open and our names are announced as we walk down the red carpet, headed for the bridal table. I feel like the luckiest girl alive, being escorted on Jasper’s arm and even luckier when we reach the table, and Jasper pulls out my seat for me.

  Smiling up at him as I take my seat, he kisses the tip of my nose, before pushing in my chair. Sitting close to me, he reaches for my hand, holding it snugly in his under the table. Everything about today is how it should be, and even when I can feel Harper’s eyes following my every movement with distaste, I don’t let it get to me. After tonight, Harper and I are done. For good.

  I know remaining friends with him will be near impossible. If Jasper and I are to start afresh, I need to cut all ties with Harper. And I will make that sacrifice for Jasper, because Harper and I were over the day he broke my heart in that karaoke bar.

  I just hope when I tell him, he’ll understand.

  Chapter 25

  Harper vs. Jasper vs. Ava vs. Harper

  Lucas and V are on the dance floor, sharing their first dance to The Cure’s, Lovesong (80’s eat your heart out!) Sipping my champagne happily, anyone can clearly see the love the newlyweds feel for one another, and I wonder if other people looking in on Jasper and I, are able to see the same thing. I am so happy in this moment and when Jasper leans over, whispering in my ear to dance with him, that happiness turns into exhilaration.

  I quickly agree, even though I can't dance to save my life, but I would never turn down an opportunity to be in Jasper’s arms.

  He guides me to the dance floor, his warm hand holding mine, and as he pulls me close to his body, I look around the huge gold ballroom, feeling like Cinderella at the ball. The tables are spread around the dance floor, so I am well aware of people's eyes following our movements. But I am most aware of Harper’s eyes which I meet quickly, suddenly wishing I didn't.

  He is leaning back in his seat, with one arm draped across the back of the chair, looking at Jasper and I angrily. I quickly avert my eyes, and tense up.

  “What's the matter?” Jasper asks in my ear to be heard over Robert Smith.

  “Nothing. Everything is fine. Everything is how it should be,” I reply, not wanting to cause any trouble, as thus far, Jasper hasn't seemed to notice Harper evilling the hell out of us.

  The song ends, and another starts promptly afterwards, which suits me just fine as Jasper continues swaying with me.

  My head is leaning on his chest comfortably, but unexpectedly I feel him stiffen up. I pull back to see what has stirred such a reaction.

  The cause of course is Harper.

  “May I cut in?” Harper asks, standing politely off to the side, waiting for a response.

  Jasper blows out a deep breath between his lips and looks down at me. I return his look tensely, uncertain of how he is going to respond.

  “She's yours, I get it,” Harper says, his blue eyes narrowing when Jasper doesn’t let me go. “But one dance isn't going to hurt.”

  Oh, it'll hurt a lot, especially if Harper steps out of line, I mull over to myself.

  Reluctantly, Jasper steps aside, but before he walks away, he turns and says over his shoulder, “If you so much as look at her inappropriately, you and I will have a problem. Understood?”

  Harper raises his palms up mockingly. “Understood.”

  And he grabs my hand, leading me over to the other side of the dance floor, out of sight from Jasper’s penetrating stare.

  I look over my shoulder at Jasper, who nods and gives me a weak smile. Letting out a breath as he doesn’t look too mad, I will try to enjoy this dance with Harper, because it'll be the last we will ever share together.

  “You look stunning tonight,” he says with a slight frown.

  I notice he has a light growth, which is unusual, as he is normally clean shaven. Come to think of it, Harper doesn’t look as crisp and prim as he usually does. He is wearing a grey suit with a white shirt and black tie, his usual getup, but there is something different about him. Something cold.

  “Thanks,” I reply softly, shaking away my thoughts.

  “You could have told me,” he says unhappily, looking at me intensely.

  “Tell you what?” I reply, but knowing all too well what he is referring to.

  For a split second Harper’s face turns into a scowl, but it changes before I can really decipher what he is thinking.

  “That you left me for him,” he says simply.

  Then his face transforms into one of complete sadness, and I feel like a horrible person all over again. I have to make sure I say the right thing, because God knows, he knew what to say when Jasper left me.

  “I didn't, Harper. I left you for me. And I left, for you. I don't love you the way you deserve to be loved. You'll find a girl who will treat you right, and love all the ridiculously expensive gifts you spoil her with,” I say with a small smile, hoping to lighten the mood.

  He nods with a smirk. “I suppose you're right.”

  Thankfully he sees the humor in my joke.

  However, speaking of expensive gifts.

  “Please let me return all the things you got me. Some of them still have the tags attached. You can return them and get your money back, or at the very least, get a store credit.”

  Harper shakes his head. “No, I bought them for you. Keep them.”

  I can’t keep them because as beautiful as they are, I don’t want them, I never did.

  “Harper, I...”

  “Please Ava,” he pleads. “I couldn't stomach to take them back.”

  I can see the pain reflected in his deep blue eyes, and I understand that returning them would finalize our breakup.

  “Okay,” I reply softly, not wanting to hurt him further.

  Harper spins me around and thankfully looks to be in better spirits, smirking when I nearly fall flat on my face, thanks to my two left feet.

  “When we go back to Singapore, you can do what you wish with them,” he says, referring to the clothes.

  Lowering my eyes guiltily, as this is not how I wanted to tell him I will not be returning to Singapore.

  “Oh,” he says, surprised. “You're not returning, are you?”

  Shaking my head, I reply, “I'm sorry.”

  Harper pulls in his lips, and shrugs it off, but I can sense the hurt behind his feign aloofness.

  “It’s okay Ava, please don't apologize. If this is the right thing for you, then I'm happy. We can still be friends, and maybe you could come visit one day.”

  Seriously, I am the world’s worse person! How do I tell him without hurting him more so than I already have?

  I can’t.

  He notices my reaction, and his eyebrows rise up in understanding.

  “Oh. So, this is it? This is the end. For good?�
�

  A tear rolls down my cheek because I feel his pain. I know how it feels to love someone, and they not love you in return.

  “Yes. It never should have started,” I whisper, peering up at him.

  Harper nods and places the back of his trembling hand in front of his mouth.

  “Harper...” I utter quickly, wishing I could say something to make him feel better.

  But I know nothing I say, will make the pain any less bearable.

  The song ends and Harper quickly excuses himself, while I am standing open mouthed, still trying to think of something to say.

  Within seconds, Jasper is by my side, turning me to face him. “What did he say to you? Why are you crying?” he questions, looking over my shoulder in the direction of where Harper went, ready to chase him down and beat him senseless if he upset me.

  Wiping away my tears quickly, because I don’t want to make a scene, as we are at a wedding and weddings are all about celebrating.

  Celebrating and dancing.

  “Dance with me?” I murmur, snuggling into his chest.

  Being near him instantly makes me feel better, and I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of him.

  Jasper complies by pulling me into him, but of course doesn’t let matters lie. “What were you talking about? You danced through two songs.”

  This is news to me.

  “We did?” I ask, unaware of the time.

  Jasper nods. Looking at me anxiously he probes, “What did you guys talk about?”

  Just thinking about the conversation, resurfaces the horrible feeling of breaking Harper’s heart. A heart I never should have been in possession of in the first place, because it was bound to be broken.

  Jasper is searching my eyes, trying to make sense of what happened between Harper and me.

  I owe this to Jasper. I just wish we weren’t having this conversation here.

  “I told him I can never see him again,” I reply honestly, trying to gauge his reaction.

  Jasper’s mouth pops open. “You did?”

  The shock on his face is clearly evident, and I’m surprised this is a revelation to him. Did he not believe me when I told him it was over between Harper and me?

  I decide to put any further doubts he may have to rest. I am going to tell him that I am not going back to Singapore, but staying in Los Angeles. I feel liberated at this decision; therefore I know it is the right one.

  “Yes, I told him I’m staying...”

  Sadly a waitress decides to choose this moment as the perfect time to announce dinner.

  “Okay everyone, time to put your dancing shoes away for the moment, because mains are served,” she says as she zips past us, main courses in hand.

  Jasper looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish.

  But, this is a conversation that can be had after my herb-crusted rack of lamb.

  *****

  V and Lucas are cutting their three tiered wedding cake, which looks amazing thanks to Sally. I really wish I could be giving them my full attention, but someone else has that. And that is Harper.

  I've had my eye on him for the past hour, as he has taken up permanent residency at the bar. He is downing scotch after scotch, top shelf of course. Jasper is aware of me watching him, and he too has been downing beer after beer.

  Harper’s behavior has been getting louder and rowdier, and as he demands the bottle, loudly thumping his glass on the bar, I quickly stand up to control him.

  Jasper grabs my hand. “Leave him be,” he says with a sigh, because he knows I won’t.

  I shake my head, biting my lip. “I can't Jasper. I can’t just leave him when he’s obviously hurting because of me.”

  Jasper huffs and lets me go. He throws back his beer, totally pissed off, but I know he understands why I have to do this.

  As I approach the bar, I see Harper pointing his finger into the poor bartenders face.

  “Motherfucker, do you know who I am?” he slurs leaning forward on his stool, slouching all over the bar.

  The poor college kid shakes his head, wishing he was anywhere but here.

  “Harper!” I reprimand. “Enough, you're making a scene,” I whisper, not wanting to draw any more attention to this uncomfortable situation.

  Harper looks over at me with glassy eyes. “Oh, here she is, the woman of the hour. Ms. Ava party pooper Thompson. Way to go Ava, and fuck everything up.” And he applauds loudly.

  I slap my hand over his to silence him.

  “Stop it Harper,” I speak softly. “People will hear you.”

  “Who cares. I want everyone to know what you’ve done to me,” and he stands tall, getting ready to broadcast the news.

  Thankfully some random partygoer has a hold of the microphone, saving my ass.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, I am sure everyone is well aware of the groom’s talent behind the drums. He and his band would like to perform a song for you.”

  Everyone claps excitedly, but I spin around, sensing this will end badly.

  Looking up at the stage, I observe Jasper standing behind the microphone, cupping it between his palms. He has taken his jacket off, unbuttoned his top button and freed his bow tie, so it hangs loosely around his neck.

  He looks directly at me and I gulp as Lucas hits his drumsticks together, signalling they are ready to start. I am so nervous I am wringing my hands together, and as soon as the intro starts, I know what song they have chosen to play, and I know it is dedicated to Harper.

  Jasper is glaring directly at Harper, who is returning his death stare, matching his malice. Jasper has chosen Get Your Hands Off My Woman by The Darkness, and as soon as he begins singing the chorus, I cringe.

  To the untrained ear, this is just a fun, random Rock N Roll song the boys have decided to play, with Jasper showing off his brilliant voice by hitting all the high notes. But I know it is so much more than that. He is being extremely rude to Harper by flaunting that I am ‘his.’ Harper is totally intoxicated, but by the murderous glare in his eye, he does not need any reminding to whom I ‘belong’ to.

  As the second verse starts, I see Harper clench his fists and I know now is the time to get him out of here, before he and Jasper have it out, once and for all.

  I pull on his arm, but he stands his ground, his jaw tightening as Jasper stares at him with that damn smug smirk I know all too well.

  “C’mon Harper, let’s get some fresh air,” I say in hopes he will make this easy for me.

  He continues to glare at the stage, his eyes narrowing, but when I tug harder, he complies and I all but shove him out the front door.

  As I pull him down the stairs and away from Jasper’s snide voice, he shakes out of my hold.

  “I’m fine Ava. I'm sorry if I made a scene or embarrassed you. I’m drunk, sorry.”

  “You weren’t the one who embarrassed me,” I mumble, thinking of Jasper’s testosterone filled performance.

  I am so mad at him for being such an ass, because after tonight, we both will never have to see Harper ever again. But of course, he couldn’t leave well enough alone.

  “I'm going to go Ava,” Harper says, pulling me into a loose hug.

  “Okay Harper,” I reply into his shoulder. “I will come see you tomorrow and collect... I will just see you tomorrow,” I correct quickly.

  Harper does not need reminding that tomorrow I will be collecting my things, and leaving him forever.

  He nods and I pull away to see Jasper stalking down the green lawn towards us. And what do you know, he looks furious.

  “Go Harper, Jasper is coming. Please don't argue with him, its V’s day, so please don't spoil it by fighting with him.”

  I can’t believe I am having this conversation with him. He is the drunken one with a broken heart, and has every right to be mad, but he looks at me with full understanding.

  “Okay Ava,” and he begins walking down the driveway, head downcast.

  “Hey! Roberto is there,” I say confused, pointing to where Robert
o is parked.

  Harper turns to me. “No, he will take you home. I have a feeling you'll need him,” he says as he looks over my shoulder.

  I don’t quite understand what he means by his comment, but I don't argue with him, as I just want him gone before Jasper catches up to him.

  “Okay thanks,” I reply nervously.

  I let out the breath I was inadvertently holding when he walks down the driveway, away from the man standing at my back.

  Taking a calming breath before turning around, I hiss, “What is the matter with you?”

  With me?” he slurs slightly.

  Looking at his inebriated form makes my blood boil.

  “You're... drunk.”

  Way to go Ava by stating the obvious, but my words are trapped in my throat, as I am so livid right now.

  “Yeah, so what? How else do you expect me to deal with seeing that fucker’s hands all over you?”

  Rubbing my forehead in frustration, I sigh, “You're just drunk and not seeing things clearly.”

  Jasper stands tall. “No, quite the contrary. I see everything, and everything is crystal clear. It's only when I'm sober I don't seem to see things for what they really are.”

  I feel my stomach drop. “What do you mean?”

  Jasper is giving nothing away, and I know he is mulling over what to tell me next. “Do you think I haven't thought about what happens after you leave? It’s all I think about!” he spits, throwing his hands out to his sides. “You've still got six months left of your scholarship,” he says, his voice slightly raised. “You may have broken up with him here, but what happens when I'm not there. Answer me that!”

  “I would never do that,” I gasp, my mouth parted in shock.

  How could he think I would do that to him? I know how. But I would never make that same mistake ever again.

  He raises his eyebrow unconvinced, and his actions wound me.

  “You still don't trust me? After everything? After these past few days, you think I am just going to forget what’s happened, and... go back... to him?” I ask, appalled that he could think so poorly of me.

  How dare he accuse me of this! I've learnt from my mistake. I know it was a BIG mistake, but does he think I just spread my legs for anything that gives me attention!