Shadow of Shame: Book 1 of the Shadow series

by Barbara Goss

  He locked his father’s barn, mounted his horse, and trotted home.

  He knew God had forgiven his sins, but he still asked Him to help him with the problems his early marriage had caused. He would never again take advantage of unfortunate women as he had in his immature years. He also donated large sums of money to a ministry that preached to women of ill repute. His past life rested heavily on his shoulders.

  He took care of his horse, relieved his stable foreman from duty, and then walked to the house, where he met Thelma, his housekeeper, on her way out.

  “Your dinner’s on the stove, Jonas. I’ll see you in the morning. Tomorrow’s washday so be sure to gather up the clothes you want washed,” she said as she scurried toward her small buggy.

  “Thank you, Thelma!” he called after her. “Thank you for staying later tonight.”

  Jonas sat and ate his dinner. His thoughts were on the horse auction next spring, and how he could solve his biggest problem—how to unscramble his life so that some day he could court someone like the golden angel named Ivy.

  Chapter 3

  Ivy stood in front of her full-length mirror, arranging her hair into different styles. First, she put all her hair on top of her head, held it in place with her hands, studied herself, and let it fall down again. Then she tried it with the left side tucked it behind her ear.

  “What are you doing?” Violet asked, as she plopped down on Ivy’s bed. “You’ve always worn your hair tied back with a ribbon. Are you thinking of changing it?”

  “I’ll show you each style and you tell me which one makes me look older.” Ivy repeated the array of hairstyles for Violet's perusal.

  “That one,” Violet said when Ivy piled her hair up on top of her head. “You could use those fancy combs Mother bought us in Topeka.”

  “I forgot about those!” Ivy dug into her junk drawer and pulled out several colored combs. She pushed her hair up and placed the combs. “I do look older and more sophisticated now, don’t I?”

  “Sure,” Violet said without enthusiasm. “I came up here to tell you that Peggy’s downstairs. She rode over on her new horse.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Ivy ran for the stairs. “Sisters!” she exclaimed as she ran into the parlor.

  “Peggy! Sorry you had to wait. I was doing my hair.” Ivy spun around. “Do you like it? Does it make me look older?”

  Peggy stood and walked a circle around Ivy. “You know, I think you look at least in your twenties.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. Is this all for Jonas Armstrong?” Peggy asked.

  “Not exactly…well, sort of,” she faltered. “Actually, meeting him just made me realize that I need to look older, because…well, because I am.”

  “That’s one of the things I came to tell you. I want you to meet my brother, Quinn. I think he’d be perfect for you. He’s the same age as Jonas, but he's never been married.”

  “Oh, sure. I’d like to meet him. What’s the other thing?”

  “My new horse!”

  “New horse? I’d love to see him!”

  “Actually, you’ll be even more interested knowing where my father got him,” Peggy said, teasing.

  “Where?”

  “He bought it from Jonas Armstrong. He breeds the best horses in the state. Of course, mine isn’t one of the best—we could never afford his prize horses—but he had this little mare that my father thought would be perfect for me.” Peggy yanked her arm. “C’mon, she’s tied out front.”

  Ivy ran her hand over the smooth flank of Peggy’s new horse. “Peg, she’s beautiful. Have you named her?”

  “Not yet. Any ideas?”

  “Hmm, she’s a reddish brown…Bernie for Auburn?”

  “Ivy! It’s a female!”

  “Oh. How about Bernice?”

  “No, that’s my grandmother’s name. She wouldn’t like me naming my horse after her.”

  “How about Sienna or Titan?”

  “Ivy! Sienna is perfect! Titan sounds too much like a name for a male horse.”

  “Sienna it is.” Ivy patted the horse’s nose and the horse nodded as if in agreement with the name. “See? She likes it, too.”

  “Do you have a horse to ride? I want to take you to visit my brother. He lives just down the road from the church,” Peggy said.

  “We just have the two horses that pull our buggy, but we’re allowed to ride them. I’ll saddle one up.”

  Ivy thought Peggy’s brother, Quinn, handsome and very affable, although when he patted her hand to tell her how glad he was to meet her, she felt no tingles. He lived over the town’s barbershop in a small flat. Quinn did not look much like Peggy, as his hair was blond, and ironically had the bluest eyes, but they had the same charming smile. He had a job working at the family owned livery. Since he didn’t have a female in his household, Peggy did the honor of serving tea for them as they sat comfortably in his small, masculinely-decorated sitting room.

  Quinn was charming, but didn’t excite Ivy like Jonas had. He told them stories about the latest happenings at the livery. Then he paused, looked at Ivy, and said, “I heard you experienced your first straw ride last night.”

  “I did, and I enjoyed it. It was a beautiful fall evening.”

  “And,” Peggy added, “she got to meet Jonas. He drove the ride this year.”

  “Ah!” Quinn smiled and said, “So you've met Jonas. He’s been my closest friend for years, and I can’t speak highly enough about him.” Then Quinn’s smile faded, and he shook his head and changed the subject. “You were lucky to find me home today. I’m usually working, but I took today off to give another friend, Boyd Egan, help moving.”

  “I knew that,” Peggy said, “And we will leave you to it. You go on ahead, and I’ll clean the dishes and lock up.”

  “Actually, Boyd's picking me up in his wagon, then we’re going to his old place, load up, and taking his belongings to his new place.”

  “Did he buy, rent, or build it?” Peggy asked.

  “He built it, which surprises me because he isn’t even working. His mother died recently, so maybe she had something stashed away in that little house they lived in together.”

  Peggy started to say something, but was cut off by a knock on the door. When it opened, a dark-haired man entered.

  “Boyd!” Quinn greeted his friend.

  The man nodded at Quinn, and then glanced at Peggy and Ivy. “You have company. Do you want to do this another day?”

  “No! I’m going with you as planned. He spread his hand out toward the women. “You remember my sister, Peggy? And this is her friend, Ivy.” He pointed to his friend, “This is Boyd Egan.”

  Boyd nodded. “Nice to see you again, Peggy. You're growing up so fast I hardly recognized you.” He glanced over at Ivy. “A pleasure, Miss Ivy.” He placed his finger on his chin. “Now, I know that we’ve never met. I would have remembered that for sure.”

  Ivy felt the blood rush to her face. “I’m new to Abilene. My father is the new minister of Grace Church,” she said. Ivy almost outwardly smiled as her inner thoughts recalled the fear she'd had of being a spinster stuck out in Abilene, Kansas. So far she’d already met three handsome, and available men.

  She noticed Boyd’s smile momentarily fade when she mentioned she was a minister’s daughter.

  “I just need to change my shirt,” Quinn said, as he raced to the back of the flat.

  Boyd took Quinn’s seat. “So, Ivy, what do you think of our town?”

  Ivy smiled. “Abilene surprises me more each day. I feared it would be desolate and lonely, but so far it’s been anything but that. I think I’m going to like living here.”

  Boyd smiled. “We’re going to like having you living here.”

  “I know I do. She’s my best friend,” Peggy said.

  Quinn came back and said, “All set. Let’s get this over with.”

  Boyd stood. “Nice seeing you again, Peggy.” His eyes held on Ivy for a moment before saying, “Indeed a
pleasure to meet you, Miss Ivy. I hope our paths cross again soon.”

  When they’d both gone, Peggy turned to Ivy. “Well? What do you think of Quinn?”

  “He’s very friendly. I like him.” Ivy remarked to herself how much she loved it when Peggy’s big brown eyes grew wide with excitement.

  “He is seeing a woman named Mary Beth, who is a bit of a snob. Which is why I had hoped…and what about Boyd?”

  “What can I say, Peggy? They’re both very charming.”

  “But not exciting like Jonas?”

  “Peggy, I’m sure it was just the romance of the straw ride, and that he was the first handsome man I’d met since moving here, and nothing more. Don’t give it another thought.” Ivy wished she’d never mentioned her attraction to Jonas to Peggy. The idea seemed foolish now, even to herself.

  “I know that the men our age seem juvenile compared to Quinn, Boyd, and Jonas,” Peggy said, “but in a few years they will be as mature. Love takes patience.”

  “Love?” Ivy said.

  “Yes. I’m confessing—but just to you—that I’ve been in love with Edward for years. His father has a huge farm that will one day be his. I can wait for him to grow up, though he's more mature than say…Henry, or Adam.”

  “He is very good looking too,” Ivy added. “Now let’s clean up after our tea and ride back. I promised my mother I’d help her with her canning today.”

  Jonas stopped at the post office for his mail, and frowned when Postmaster Harding handed him a stack of mail with the letter he'd dreaded on the top. He recognized the envelope and the careless handwriting immediately. He thanked Harding, and walked out to his horse where he fingered through the rest of the mail, and placed the envelopes into his saddlebag. That one letter had spoiled his day.

  As he was riding toward home he saw Peggy and Ivy riding just ahead of him, trotting slowly. Jonas almost called out to them, but then decided against it. He might have, if the letter in his saddlebag hadn’t put a damper on his mood. He watched them trot toward the residential section of town, and couldn’t help but admire the way Ivy sat on her horse, with her spine straight, and her head held high. The hairdo she wore complemented the whole picture, making her look somewhat regal. He pictured her riding one of his prize horses at one of the auctions. She’d make any horse she rode look good.

  When Jonas got home, he was surprised to see his brother’s buggy hitched outside. He entered the house to find Caleb and Thelma sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee.

  “Hey,” Jonas said. “Didn’t know you were stopping by.” He tossed the mail on the counter and joined them.

  Thelma jumped up to pour him a cup of coffee.

  Jonas nodded. “Thelma makes the best coffee in Kansas.”

  “That she does. I might just have to steal her from you,” Caleb said.

  Thelma waved her hand at them in dismissal. “Oh, you two!” She grabbed her coat. “I’m off. Your dinner’s on the stove. See you soon, Caleb. And you, tomorrow, Jonas.” She shut the door quietly on her way out.

  “To what do I owe this impromptu visit, Caleb? Of course, I'm always glad to see you.”

  “I just wanted to thank you again for doing the straw ride for Father. He wanted me to do it, but I could never jump up and down from that straw wagon, and I was glad you'd agreed. How did it go?”

  “It was okay—I mean, it was good.” Jonas sighed. “No problems.”

  “Then why did you look so troubled when I asked about the straw ride? Did something happen?”

  “It’s nothing—I mean, I just—I saw someone, and if things in my life had been different, I think I could have—”

  “Who did you see?” Caleb prompted.

  “An angel.”

  “Are you losing your mind, Jonas?”

  “I meant to say, one of the women looked angelic. She had hair the color of straw, but when the moonlight hit it, it glowed like gold—”

  “Jonas, what are you trying to say?”

  “I’m saying that, once again, my past has come back to haunt me. I’m so sorry for my past. If it weren’t for my mistakes I'd try to court this woman. She’s so perfect, or at least, she would have been.”

  “Who is she?” Caleb asked.

  “She must be new in town because I’ve never seen her before. She was with Peggy.”

  “Oh, I bet it’s the new minister’s daughter. He has three of them.”

  “A minister’s daughter!” Jonas shook his head. “Is it the church you go to?” Jonas asked.

  “Yes. Maybe you’d like to attend with me this week?”

  “Just my luck—a minister’s daughter! Once he hears about my past I’d be lucky if they let me sit anywhere near her at church.” Jonas shrugged. “I can’t go with you. Have you forgotten they threw me out after I had the shotgun wedding? Besides, my church needs me. Who would do the music?”

  “No one knows about the baby. They all think she died in childbirth. It’s for the best.”

  “Is it?” Jonas asked. “I really need to solve this. I received another letter today.”

  “Just keep paying them,” Caleb said. “You have plenty of money.”

  “The amount keeps going up, and not only that, I need to be free.”

  “So you can court the angel?”

  “I’m not sure I'd ever have the opportunity, but seeing her reminded me of how doomed my life is. I feel like I’m a prisoner of my past.”

  Caleb shook his head. “I wish I could help. Is there anything you can do?”

  Jonas sighed. “I have no idea. I’ve gone to church every Sunday, and I’ve prayed and prayed. I can’t really expect God to erase the memories of the whole town so they’d forget my past. I'm beginning to think my past will follow me for the rest of my life.”

  Caleb sighed. “So how much are they asking for this time?”

  “I don’t know, I haven’t opened the letter yet,” Jonas said.

  “Keep praying, and if you need someone to talk to, or money, come to me, all right?”

  Jonas rose and slapped his brother on the back. “Thanks, brother.”

  Chapter 4

  No matter how hard Ivy tried she couldn’t get Jonas Armstrong off her mind. She hoped it was just an infatuation brought on by the ambiance of the straw ride, but she needed to find out for sure. How could she scheme to see him again?

  Ivy lay sprawled on her bed watching the leaves fall from the tree outside her window. Then she jumped up. “I have it!” she said aloud.

  She scrambled down the stairs, out of the house, and hopped on one of their horses, tied to the hitching post. She hadn’t even bothered to put on a riding skirt, so she had a bit of leg showing, but she knew if she took the short cut to Peggy’s through the woods behind their house, no one would see her.

  When she got to Peggy’s house, she and Quinn were sitting on the front porch playing cards. After mutual greetings, Peggy asked, “Quinn is teaching me Whist, do you want to learn?”

  “No. I’m a horrible card player.”

  Ivy fidgeted for a few moments. “I was thinking of buying my own horse. Would you know where I could purchase one?” Ivy asked, as if she didn’t already know.

  “Jonas, of course!” Peggy said, slapping down her hand of cards. “Ugh! I’ll never understand this game!”

  “You’re doing fine, for a beginner,” Quinn said. “You just haven’t been getting good cards.”

  “Well, I’ve had enough for today.” Peggy pointed to the lemonade. “Want something to drink, Ivy?”

  Ivy declined with a shake of her head.

  “Say,” Quinn said, “Boyd Egan is also looking to buy a new horse. I’m sure he’d be more than happy to take you to see Jonas.”

  Ivy felt disappointed. She had hoped Quinn would offer. “I don’t know…” she started to say.

  Quinn stood, put his hands on her shoulders, turned her toward his vacated chair, and pushed her gently into his seat. “To be honest, Ivy, Boyd has asked me to give hi
m an opportunity to see you—spend time with you, somehow. This will be perfect. If you agree, that is.”

  Ivy knew she could trust Peggy’s brother. While she didn’t know him well, she knew Peggy and her family and that was enough for her. She wasn’t as sure about Boyd. What would Jonas think if she showed up at his place with Boyd?

  “I was hoping you and Peggy would go with me,” she said.

  Peggy’s face took on the familiar, excited look that Ivy appreciated. “No, it will be good for you to spend some time with Boyd. He’s a pretty good fella. It'll help you get over…” she looked at her brother and then back to Ivy, “you know who,” she whispered.

  “Who?” Quinn asked, with that same eye-opening expression his sister had. “Is there someone you’re interested in? Do tell.”

  “No,” Ivy said quickly. “Peggy meant a young man I met on the straw ride. I met one I thought was fine, but it turned out to be a strong case of like instead,” Ivy explained.

  “Oh, I see. Happens to me all the time,” he said. “So, should I set it up for you to go with Boyd?”

  “If Peggy comes with us I guess it’s all right,” Ivy said.

  “Of course I will.” Peggy patted Ivy’s hand.

  Ivy thought Boyd somewhat attractive, but not as handsome as Jonas, or even as Quinn. His face had strong, chiseled features, and a wide nose, while Jonas’s face was sculpted in a firm, attractive way, with a strong, aquiline nose. Boyd had darker hair than Jonas, and while he had long, curling eyelashes that one noticed right away, his eyes didn’t twinkle or show the sincerity that Jonas’s eyes did. He was also shorter, and not as muscular.