Liberty Ranch

by Temperance Johnson

  Andrew’s body relaxed, but Izzy knew better. “Since we found out who Cole was. We looked for you for months and then found out you were safe.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I am sorry that happened.”

  For some reason, Izzy didn’t feel the old shame she once experienced as she talked to him about her past. She felt like he understood somehow, but how could he? Clara may be the reason. Maverick and Jesse talked of their sister Clara. She just nodded. “I got through it and so will the girls.”

  He put both hands through his hair. “I can handle them thinking I will beat them. I have had sisters look at me and think that. But not my daughters. They think I will hurt them in different ways.” A tear ran down his face. “It hurts more than words can say. I wish I could change how they think of me.”

  Izzy crossed her arms, feeling for him. “It will come in time and they will learn.”

  Andrew glanced at her. “Can I ask you a question?”

  Izzy knew she didn’t want him to ask her, but she nodded.

  “Are you afraid of me because of my size?” He was so gentle with the question — so open and not judging.

  She told herself to be honest. Shaking her head, she said, “No, I have forty-six male cousins. I just have a hard time with men in general. Francesca is afraid of you because you are a man, not your size. For Sara, it could be both.”

  Andrew seemed to respect her answer. “I don’t think Jesse will reject you. Being a Starry, you learn to understand people's pasts, and we all do that pretty well. Or we try to. I believe God brought you into Jesse’s life for a reason.”

  Her eyes watered. “Thank you.”

  “You might want to tell him before my loud-mouth daughter tells him when he comes back,” he said dryly.

  Her eyes lightened. “You're probably right.” She needed to do so much to repair their relationship. It hurt deep inside because she still loved Jesse. She decided to be honest with him about his own past. “Who else knows you are the raider?”

  He had told her he was the Striker when they first met. He didn’t need to say much, Izzy understood. Striker was his cover name for rescuing people and children. “Just Kat and Ellen. It brought them closer. When I would be gone for days, Katrina would stay with Ellen. And I know their prayers brought me back. I have thought of giving it up though...”

  Her eyes went wide. “No, don’t,” she whispered. Then she added softly, “I understand. It takes innocence from you every time you do it to rescue a child.” She looked down at her muddy boots. “To know you are rescuing a child who is being sold for her or his body. To know that the seller could be the father, mother, brother, and even son. It takes something from you every time you step into those doors. It takes something from you no one will ever understand. Not a wife, a husband. No one but that person.”

  Hand in fists, he nodded. “I am sorry,” he said again.

  She could almost feel him look at her neck. “No, Cutty didn’t tattoo me yet.” She snorted harshly. Cutty tattooed his women on the back of their neck. “I wasn’t branded by him yet.”

  He wanted to say sorry again but that was getting old. “I had never seen a Cutty...mmmh... survivor get out. I looked for you, but I knew my chances.” His face softened. “I heard you got two girls out when you were there. Still rescuing.”

  She made a humorless laugh. “Yeah, that is me. I was so arrogant. They weren’t the Cutty’s girls.” Her face crumbled. “One of them was murdered. They said it was payback for me.” Before Andrew could say it wasn’t her fault, she added, “I think she knew too much. Cutty didn’t leave survivors.”

  “You know Maverick is still looking for him. For him it is something personal.”

  “Well, everyone knows Lucas worked with him. We just aren’t sure how close.”

  Andrew's face lightened. “Is there anything you don’t know?”

  Izzy smirked. “Not much.”

  He sighed, “Do you know Ellen used to pray for you every day after they rescued you? Even before we met Cole. She called you a guardian angel. She said, ‘Angel will do great things for God.’”

  She closed her eyes, feeling tears come. Angel was the nickname Jesse gave her. Ellen had talked to Jesse about her without giving away her secret. No one had done that for her. All those talks she had with Ellen alone and then with Jesse, Ellen had never treated her differently. Like she wasn’t ashamed of her being a daughter. Instead, she had unconditionally loved her. Something her own mother had never done. She cleared her throat. No words came, and they needed no words for this moment.

  “Well, I am headin’ in.” He passed by her without touching her. “The Starrys were blessed the day you entered our life, Izzy.” He handed her his handkerchief and walked away.

  Izzy felt her knees give out as she slid down the barn wall. Letting the tears come, she sobbed this time. She let the tears come deep from her soul. Tears she had built up from when she sinned with Jesse, she now let out. She repented for what she had done. And then felt Jesus take her in His arms as she had felt in the past. She felt Him say she was a gift to Jesse. That He could still make them work for His glory. She wiped her eyes with Andrew’s hankie. Whispering to the dying sun, she prayed, “Father, if You want us to work out, it will have to be You doin’ it.”

  Chapter 25

  "Hey, yellow rose, how's my spice?" Cole leaned in and kissed her soft cheek.

  Julia was stirring the pot on the stove, putting hot spice into the stew. Cole almost sneezed. She turned in his arms and kissed him. She noticed all the children were watching their every move. Cole was very careful about how he acted with Julia in front of them. He wanted to treat her properly while still treating her like a young bride. They made it work.

  Cole pulled away, draining the rest of his coffee. "I need to go check the south pasture. Mav wants to move the horses into that pasture before the sale," he told her. "We might not be back for lunch."

  Julia nodded. "You go saddle up and I will pack you some lunch."

  Cole saddled up his best stud, and Travis and Hunter got the new green geldings. They were good at training horses. They were firm and gentle. It was from the older boys and their father, Owen, that they had learned so much. Starry horses were known all around as the best stock.

  Mounting, he waved at them. The boys rode on ahead.

  After a long ride fixing parts of the fence, Cole spotted a mare stuck in a pit on the hill. He dismounted and handed his reins to Hunter. Hunter tied the reins and moved to stand next to Cole.

  "This is Angel." Travis stood next to the pregnant mare. "She likes to hide when she delivers, but she is a great broodmare and delivers on time."

  Cole nodded, respecting his opinion on the mare. "It looks like she is in labor. This was a small pit to deliver a foal in." He looked to see a small hill that the mare could get out of. He could see the mare start to push. "We have to get her out before she delivers. Hunter, get my rope. We are going to need to help her get out."

  Using the rope as a halter on Angel, and then looping the other rope around her rump, he gave Hunter the halter rope and told the boys to pull. They all pulled, but Angel fell back in the middle of the pit and slid down.

  "Maybe we should wait till she has the foal,” Hunter told him. We don't want her to lose the baby."

  Cole nodded. "I reckon we have to, son." He put a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't we build up this hill so she won't slide?"

  They all got to work, and after a bit, they got a wooded path under her that might give the mare enough support not to slide down farther again. As they did this work the mare started to push more. Her stomach contracted.

  Travis grinned and pointed. "Look! Look, the hooves are coming out."

  Cole sat where they could watch. "Travis, why don't you get lunch? We can eat while watching her."

  Travis nodded and jumped to get the food. He was never one to wait when he could eat.

  After blessing the food, they dug into freshly made bread with ham and che
ese, nut cookies Charity had baked, and cool water to wash it down.

  None of them spoke as they ate. By the time most of the foal's front legs were out, Cole thought he should talk about his own past. He wanted them to know the truth about what could happen, even in a Christian family. "You might not have known, but I grew up with a father that talked with his fist more than words. He would beat me from the first day I could remember. I hated him." Both boys were watching him. “I often wondered why he even had me if he was going to beat me. I couldn't defend myself — I was too young and small. When I grew up, I made sure no one took something from me again. I hated that man." He looked back at the horse, feeling vulnerable. He knew he had to be honest. “If anything ever happened to you like that, it will be all right to talk about it.”

  Travis looked away like he wanted to hide.

  Hunter's face went red, his lips set in a firm line. Angry, he was thinking about what Cole said. "What did you do about it?"

  Cole wanted to reach out and touch him, but he didn't want to cause a flashback or bad memory. "It filled me with rage and hate for him. My pa made me feel worthless. When he hurt me, I felt so alone and angry."

  Hunter frowned. "Why do men hurt others?"

  "Sin. I know that sounds simple, but wickedness and sin have been around since the garden of Eden. I also felt guilty, like it was my fault he hit me. If I had done somethin’ better, then he wouldn't have hurt me. I had to realize my pa was in the wrong because he was the one who hurt me. I also had to let go of what he did to my sister and mom because I felt guilty over what he did to the ones I loved."

  Travis put his hands to his sides, ready to run. "I need to relieve myself." He got up and nearly ran away.

  Hunter watched him leave. "Uncle Frank... hurt me." He stammered and twisted his hands. "I felt some of those things. I didn't know he was hurting the girls. I should have told someone."

  Cole touched his shoulder. "You did nothing wrong. Frank was wrong." He paused. "Thank you for telling me."

  Hunter nodded. "I can't tell the brothers. They loved Frank." He looked away. "I loved him, too."

  Cole could hear the tears in his voice. "I loved my pa, too." He wanted to hug him. "Can I hug you, Hunter?"

  Hunter nodded.

  Cole pulled him into a hug. "You can talk to me about it at any time."

  Hunter wiped his eyes and nodded at Cole. He looked at him. "I might do that."

  Travis came back and looked at them like he didn't want to come back. Travis sat and looked at the mare. "Look at the head."

  Cole smiled. "The head is the biggest part to get out. When that is out the rest comes easily."

  Travis now looked relaxed, as did Hunter.

  The mare pushed and the foal nearly came all the way out. After another push the foal came out, and slid onto the ground. The mare licked the baby. The colt looked like he was mad about being woken up from his nap.

  The boys chuckled at the colt's response.

  Travis smiled. "Today's been a good day."

  Hunter looked at Cole and nodded. "Today has been good."

  Cole knew most of the days since the passing of their parents had been hard. He was glad the days were getting easier for them. He prayed as they got the colt up and got the mare out of the pit, that the boys could also get out of the pit Frank had made for them. His young boys were as innocent as the newborn foal at one time, but one evil man had taken that innocence from them.

  KATRINA WATCHED FRANCESCA storm away. The wind blew her blue dress, and blew her hair in her face. Her boots had mud on them from the night's rain. Choosing to wait to deal with Francesca, she met Sara's eyes.

  "I think Fran hates you sometimes," Sara stated.

  The words stung Katrina. "Do you hate me?" She knew she risked hearing Sara say yes.

  Sara stared out in the pasture, putting her good arm on the fence. Staying silent so long, Katrina was sure she would say yes. "Not all the time," she whispered. "I think deep down you might even love us."

  Katrina stood next to her, waiting for her to continue.

  "I never had a ma before," she said with no emotion. "Fran's ma would stay in the room while daddies hurt Francesca." Sara closed her eyes like she almost remembered it for Francesca. Or her own memories. "Only men hurt me. Francesca told me if her mama hadn't sold her, she would have killed her. I believe it, too."

  Sadly, Katrina also believed her. Sometimes it kept her up at night to know how much rage was in Francesca. Would she take her rage out on her new parents? Putting her arm around Sara's shoulders, she said, "No one will ever hurt you or your sisters here."

  "I wonder if my ma sold me to the Asylum. I often wonder why," Sara told her.

  Katrina took a chance. "I asked myself that often after my parents sold me."

  Sitting up, Sara stared at her. "How? Did they know you would get a safe home?" she muttered. "Away from men?"

  "Actually, the man I was sold to. He sold his own daughter as a sex slave, who was my best friend." This shocked Sara. "I was protected, so I didn't know the evils of men. But I was still so afraid."

  “Isaiah says you had great parents,” Sara commented.

  Katrina shrugged. “I remember parents yelling and getting mad at me for being deaf. I left when Isaiah was a baby, so Isaiah remembers when my parents sang, pa played his guitar, and other moments of happiness. We don’t talk about our family often anymore.”

  "Does Fran know?" Sara wondered.

  Katrina shook her head, "No, in time I will tell her. You are the first to know."

  Sara looked proud of this. "Why?"

  "Because no matter what you go through, you can always overcome it. Unspeakable things happened to the Starrys. We overcame it, knowing we are God's Stars." She kissed her head. "One Star at a time."

  FRANCESCA LAUGHED LOUDLY. "You are too funny, Carlissa."

  Katrina chuckled with her. It was so good to see the joy on her daughter's face. Since Jesse had come, it had disrupted their life again. "You're such a sweetie."

  Katrina laughed until she had tears in her eyes. She put her arm around Francesca's shoulders, touching the back of her head. She chuckled. "I don't know how you handle your hair down on such a hot day."

  Francesca jumped away like a frightened animal, her arm hitting Katrina in the eye. She turned, glaring at Katrina. "Don't touch me."

  Katrina wasn't sure what she did wrong. She touched the younger girls on the head. Her eye was stinging. The girl could really throw a punch. "I didn't mean to. I meant nothing by it, honey."

  Francesca's eyes darkened. "You think my hair is ugly, don't you?"

  "What?" Katrina looked at her confused. "What are you talking about?"

  "You said my hair was down, so it looked ugly!" Francesca accused.

  "No, I said, I don't know how you can have it down when it is so hot," Katrina corrected her.

  "Well, then why do you put up with my ugly hair?" she whined.

  Katrina was quickly growing tired of this conservation. She bit off sarcastically, "You don't like me doing your hair, remember?"

  Francesca stuck her tongue out like a child and walked out.

  Katrina looked at the tired girls. "Let me go talk to her, girls." In the barn she saw Francesca standing by Poder.

  Katrina stood next to her and stayed silent. Normally she would talk. This time she felt like staying silent to listen to her daughter though she might not say a word. "Why did Izzy save Poder and all the ponies? When there are so many other horses that are better. Poder is like a grumpy old man all the time. They didn't deserve it."

  “No animal deserves to be treated badly. Everyone deserves to be rescued. Izzy saw the good in the horses. There might be dozens more that need help, but for the ones Izzy rescued, it mattered to them." Katrina petted Poder on the head. "For this one, it will make a difference. He will live a happy life here." She touched her face. "One horse at a time. One Star at a time."

  Francesca put her chin on her chest. Katrin
a took a chance to put her arms around her. She pulled her away and sat down with Francesca in her lap like she was a baby. Francesca put her head on her chest, her hand on Katrina's shoulder.

  Silently Katrina held her. Francesca spoke softly but loud enough for Katrina to hear. "My friend Anna had a mom that held her like this. I watched from the window." Gently Francesca pulled Katrina's hair clips, weaving Katrina's hair between her fingers. "My ma never let me touch her hair. She said it was meant for men. When she was in bed with a man, I would touch her hair." Katrina felt something different in Francesca. "It stunk and was stringy. Your hair is soft and smells nice. I never saw such a bright red." Francesca swore. "I found men like hair. They pulled mine when I wasn't good."

  Katrina stayed silent, so still while she opened up. Her heart beat a mile a minute.

  "My friend Anna got a home away from the brothel. She was still good enough to get a home. Her mama baked and smelled good. She had it good till she had to come back to the brothel. She told me every day her mama would be back. At her mama's home, a man would come into her room at night. It was her pa."

  The man might not have been her adopted pa, but any man in her life. When the child came from that life, it made her very easy prey. Katrina never had to worry about the Starry men.

  "When the madam sold Anna, she never said her mama would be back again. She knew dirty girls don't get homes."

  Katrina felt Francesca's tears on her shoulder. Her hair-covered fist was in her mouth like a baby, making a sound like a small broken animal. Katrina stayed silent as her own tears covered her daughter's hair. No words would cut the hurt her daughter felt. Her daughter wept like the little girl she never got to be. Katrina felt like she was getting a glimpse of her little girl for the first time.

  Chapter 26

  Andrew walked into the kitchen, spotting Katrina at the stove. He just watched her. She was so beautiful with her curly red hair pulled up. Some little ringlets hung down on her cheeks. Wearing her old apron did nothing to hide her figure. He needed to make more time for her and show her, in small ways, that he still cared. It just wasn't as easy now with their busy lives. He wondered what would improve his marriage. Ben would tell him it was because he wasn't right with God. It would be his fault if the marriage wasn't right. Andrew didn't disagree. It probably was him.