Tis The Season For Forgiving

by Nikki Lynn Barrett

  "What? You want me to play Santa? I'm not-"

  "Santa!" Kinley shouted.

  Petra wondered what Eric would do.

  "You just sit there and take pictures with the kids. Act jolly. Say Ho ho ho a few times. Ask them what they'd like for Christmas and then let them have a piece of candy from the jar. The time will pass. I'm supposed to be up in fifteen minutes. Cheyenne is here, and she knows how this goes. She can guide you if need be."

  Jacob was desperate, especially if he was begging Eric to do this.

  "Fifty bucks. I'll pay you fifty bucks!"

  Eric shook his head. "I don't need fifty bucks from you. I just don't think I'm fit for this."

  "A hundred!"

  "Jacob, stop. I'll do it, but I'm not taking your money," Eric agreed.

  "I could almost hug you, but that's plain out weird. Come on, let's get you suited up and I'll give you a full rundown before I leave." They took off, leaving Kinley and Petra standing there bewildered.

  *****

  A huge crowd of kids with their parents there to see him ... well, to see him as Santa, was intimidating as hell. Eric had never known Jacob to beg him for any kind of favor, so he knew this was much needed. He hoped Jacob's niece was okay.

  He sat in the big comfortable chair and waited for the gates to open, which would allow the kids to come in. He spotted Petra in the crowd with Cheyenne and Robin, plus Ben, Desiree, Kinley, and Cheyenne's youngest son.

  Ben.

  After the earlier event with him, Eric hoped like hell he didn't figure out Eric was playing Santa. Did he even believe? Would Ben want to sit on his lap, take a picture and make a wish?

  "You ready, Santa?" one of the elf helpers asked.

  Swallowing his nervousness, Eric nodded. Bring it on. He just hoped this hour would pass by with little problems until Jonas arrived to take over.

  Ten minutes in, and Eric realized this was a breeze. He knew he still had to work on his jolly cheer, because let's face it, he wasn't genuinely feeling jolly. But after a handful of times, he started to get the hang of it.

  Eric didn't pay much attention to the next kid in line. When the boy came to sit on his lap, his throat went dry. It wasn't Ben, or Desi or even Kinley.

  It was Evan.

  Eric forced out another "Ho ho ho," then asked Evan what he'd like for Christmas. He used a deeper, lower voice in hopes that Evan wouldn't figure out it was him.

  "I want my dad," Evan whispered, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "He died and left us, and I don't understand why he had to go."

  Aww shit. How the hell did he respond to this one? If it were an R/C truck, a video game, anything else but this, Eric would say Santa would do his best and take a picture, then send him on his merry way. But no way could he play Santa and promise him he'd see what he could do on this one.

  "Do you think you could-" Evan shook his head. "Never mind." The kid's body shook as he broke down. Eric kept trying to think of the right thing to say, but Evan bolted off his lap and ran off.

  Then to top things off, the next kid in line was Ben, and Eric wasn't ready for this. Especially when Ben tugged on his big white beard and gasped.

  "It's you! Why are you here? You aren't a good Santa!"

  How the hell did he pick up on that already? Oh, wait. Ben was probably expecting Jacob. Jacob didn't have eyes that matched Ben's. Well, hell.

  "Ben!" Cheyenne admonished, her cheeks flushing red. She ran up to them.

  "Where's Daddy? Why did he take his place? What's going on?" Cheyenne pulled a very angry Ben away, mouthing an apology to Eric before darting off with Ben in the crowd.

  Two upset kids in a row, and by that time, more kids were crying, yelling, and not willing to sit with Santa any more.

  Gina and Evan were still there, and of course Gina watched his every move. Her expression was unreadable as she held her son close to her while he calmed down. Great. So everyone figured out who he was.

  From the corner of his eye, Eric caught sight of Petra heading his way. Where was Kinley? Then he spotted his daughter holding Robin's hand. Okay, weird. What was Petra doing without Kinley?

  "I'd like to take a picture with Santa." Petra stood at the front of the gate now, amidst the crying upset kids.

  Huh? What was that all about?

  The elf helpers shrugged and let her through. Petra leaned over and whispered in Eric's ear. "Just go with it. I'm trying a calming tactic, to show the kids that Santa isn't scary."

  Eric just shrugged in agreement.

  "Hi Santa!" Petra said loudly, moving closer to sit on his lap.

  "Ho ho ho! What would you like for Christmas, young lady?" He put in as much effort into his cheer as possible. Eric also had to hide the way he felt with Petra sitting on his lap.

  The immediate surrounding area calmed down some. Was this really working?

  "Hmm." Petra pretended to think about it. "I'd like a new car, a nice pair of ice skates for my daughter, and..." She closed her eyes for a second.

  The crowd quieted down. Plenty of eyes were watching them with anticipation.

  "I want a man I know to learn to forgive himself and accept others' forgiveness. He's been trying hard, working to be someone better, he just doesn't know how to let go of the past." There was a tear in her eye when she opened them again and looked his way.

  His breath caught and he knew without a doubt she was referring to him. Eric fumbled for the right words to say while soaking in what she'd just asked for.

  "Smile for the camera!" the green suited elf said, snapping the picture when Petra and Eric turned to him.

  "See, all better." Petra grinned, slid off his lap and snatched a piece of candy. "Good job, Santa." Without another word, she walked away.

  And the rest of that time, the kids came to sit with him with no problems. He just wished he knew where Ben was and if he was okay.

  Chapter Nine

  Petra sighed with relief as soon as Jonas suited up and went to relieve Eric. He'd been doing fine before the Ben incident and even mostly fine after she'd calmed the crowd down, but she'd bet Eric was more than ready to get out of there. Kinley was getting antsy and tired, and if they were going to stay at his apartment for the night, she was more than ready to get home, grab a few things, and get there before her daughter had a full blown tantrum.

  About ten minutes later, she found Eric, sans his Santa suit, talking to Gina and Evan. He stopped when she walked up to him.

  "Hey." He nodded at her.

  "Hi. Is that offer still available?"

  Eric wrinkled his nose, then snapped his fingers. "Oh. That one. Yeah, of course it is. Do you want to go now?"

  Petra pointed at Kinley, who was busy hiding another yawn. "Probably a good idea."

  "We'll talk later?" He nodded back at Gina and Evan.

  "Sure." Gina eyed Petra curiously. "Have a good night. Thanks again."

  Whatever that was about. Petra shook it off and took Kinley's hand. She'd already said bye to Robin earlier, and she had no idea where Cheyenne was. She'd just talk to her later. No sense in upsetting Ben again.

  "Do you need to go back home and get anything?" Eric asked as they headed for the exit.

  "Yeah."

  "How about I take Kinley, since she seems so tired, and you meet us there? That way you don't have to drag her inside, then back out, especially if she falls asleep in the car."

  "That's a good idea. I didn't even think of that. Thanks, Eric."

  Outside by Eric's car, Petra kissed Kinley goodbye. "I'll see you in a little while. Mommy's going to go home and get some stuff. We're staying with Daddy tonight."

  So far the snow held off, and Petra hoped it would until she got to Eric's. The last thing she wanted to do was drive in the snow this late. She was tired, chilled, and even hungry and was ready for a calm night.

  Calm was the last thing she got.

  Traffic to get out of the mall was worse than usual. The sea of red brake lights hurt her eyes. She
was more tired than she realized.

  She had to take a detour since there was an accident. That took ten extra minutes. Ugh, what a night! Couldn't she just be home already?

  Once she got there, Petra sighed. Good. Now she just needed to pack a few things and get to Eric's. As she walked up her front steps, the first tiny, wet flakes started to fall. Now she needed to hurry up more than ever.

  Out of curiosity, Petra checked the thermostat again. Fifty four. Yeah, Eric made a good call by insisting they stay with him. Hopefully whatever the problem was wouldn't take long to fix or cost much.

  She threw a few things of her own in a duffel bag, then went to go grab Kinley's necessities. The whole thing took about ten minutes. Then she locked up and made it back to the car. It was still snowing, but the flakes were light. She still had time. Good.

  The flakes were heavier by the time she made it to Eric's apartment complex. She turned off the engine when she parked, grabbed the bag, and trudged across the dark pavement to get inside. A shadowed figure darted across the way, startling her. Then a hand on her shoulder made her scream. She whirled around and hit the person with the duffel bag, getting a grunt out of the person.

  "Tell your boyfriend to watch his back," the hooded figure muttered threateningly, darting away from her.

  What? What the hell did that mean?

  Probably nothing. Some annoying, pissed off teen mistaking her for someone else. Whatever. Petra shrugged it off. Minutes later, she knocked on Eric's door. When he answered it, Petra was looking the other way, still on edge from that strange shadow and what he'd said.

  "Petra?" Eric's voice pulled her back to reality.

  "Sorry. I was looking for something." She focused on Eric and stepped inside when he moved to let her in. Warm air engulfed her. She let out a sigh when he closed and locked the door.

  "What's wrong?" he questioned, staring at her with curiosity.

  "Just tired and had a hard time focusing. Then as I walked up to your apartment, someone ran across and nearly bumped me, then said something odd that I'm chalking up as the wrong person, but it still rattled me," she explained, setting the duffel bag on the floor near the couch.

  "What did the person say?" He took a step closer. Was it her imagination, or did his tone have a hint of panic?

  "Tell your boyfriend to watch his back." A shiver rippled through her.

  Eric swore under his breath.

  "What was that all about?" Petra wrapped her arms around herself, still unable to get warm again.

  He made a face. "Want something hot to drink and something to eat? I'll tell you over a simple dinner I made, if you want some."

  *****

  Eric already wanted to talk to Gina about what she'd been seeing in terms of Ben getting so upset at him, but now more than ever, he wanted to question her about Adrian's past and the people he'd been messing with the night he died. Petra might have chalked it up to mistaken identity when it came to the person outside earlier, but Eric had other thoughts. Was he being watched now? Who were those people, and what did they want with him?

  Of course, he had to tell Petra the little he knew, which sent her into worry.

  "So you're saying that person could have been the person who-" She shook her head. "Oh God. Are the police looking for anyone from that night?"

  Come to think of it, Eric hadn't talked to the police since the day after Adrian died. He'd been dealing with the loss of his friend and all the other feelings it stirred up. The last thing on his mind had been how the authorities were handling Adrian's death. "You know what? I don't know."

  "You don't know? How can you not know? Weren't you questioned?" Petra fired question after question.

  "Of course I was! I was with him when he died!" Eric snapped, wishing he'd held his tongue. "They think it's accidental. A stray bullet. No one but Adrian and I knew someone else was there."

  "Sorry! I just ... Eric, that could have been a killer out there and yeah, that freaks me out!"

  "I know. Me too. I should have said something earlier, but I thought I was just being overly paranoid. I wasn't sure if they'd seen me because Adrian tried to be quick, and then they ran out of the building. I thought they never saw me, and when I went in there-"

  "Wait, you were there with him the night he died? I didn't know that." Petra's eyes were wide.

  She hadn't known?

  He nodded. "I didn't know what he was doing at first. Then I tried to talk him out of it. I wasn't sure if the guys saw me that night or not. Now I know they did."

  "What does his widow- Gina say?"

  "She's hiding something." He recalled the night she'd been vague. Eric told Petra about the call he'd gotten from Evan a few nights ago.

  Petra covered her face with her hands. What was she thinking right about now? That once again he'd messed up?

  The nagging thoughts resurfaced, sounding like his father again.

  "You should find out what she knows. If someone's watching you, Eric, you have a right to know. Especially if you're in danger." She uncovered her face and leveled him with a long, hard stare.

  He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Yeah, I already planned on it."

  "Good." Petra left it at that. She lifted the mug of hot tea to her lips and drank.

  He thought about last night and what Petra had made for her 'wish' to Santa. Before he could bring it up, she'd pushed her chair back and stood.

  "I'm going to check on Kinley and change her into pajamas."

  Eric nodded. Petra picked up the duffel bag and left the room. He cleaned up the empty plates from the table and quickly washed them. Then he double checked to make sure the doors were locked. Peering out the window, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. The snow was falling heavier now, big white flakes, and they were beginning to stick.

  Petra laughed softly as she came up behind him. "It's a win when Kinley's so out of it I can change her without her waking up. Do you see something?" Her calm tone changed to alarmed.

  Eric shook his head, pulling his gaze away from the outside. "No, just double checking. I was watching the snow. It's going to stick."

  "I met you on a snowy night," she mused.

  He didn't recall. Shame on him. He should remember things like that.

  If his expression gave it away that he didn't remember, Petra didn't react to it.

  "I was waiting for my ride to show up. The snow was falling hard, and I had no jacket. You showed up at the restaurant and boom, we started talking. You'd been so upset over something, and then you took me home. You never left that night." She gave a small smile. "We didn't start out the best, but the first few months were great."

  "I was separated from Cheyenne," he recalled. "She'd just served me with divorce papers." Definitely not the best way to start off a new relationship, which he'd never expected to do. Things just happened. He'd been upset and not thinking. When he did start thinking, he hated his trail of thoughts and drowned them out in the bottle.

  That only made things worse.

  He only vaguely remembered the late night visits to Cheyenne's when she moved out on her own. In his head, he had rational thoughts, or so he'd thought. When he made it to her place, it turned out to be much less rational.

  "Ever wish you could fix a bad trail of mistakes?" he asked.

  Petra blinked a few times. "Always. But the best thing to do is learn from your mistakes, not wish you could fix them. That can't always be done."

  She had a point. Still, there was a lot of wishing going on. Learning? Well, maybe.

  Right now, he wished he hadn't screwed up with this woman. For some reason, after all the hell he put her through, she seemed to accept the newer version of him and kept nudging him to look ahead, not behind. Was it too late for them? Probably. Eric couldn't imagine why a good woman like Petra would ever take him back. She'd gone through her own changes, too. She'd become a stronger woman, and every time he looked at her, he realized he had a good thing going for him until he screwed it up
.

  Chapter Ten

  More snow fell during the time most of Prescott slept. The daylight brought a blanket full of glistening, fresh snow.

  "Snow day!" Kinley clapped her hands when she first caught glimpse of the powder on the ground.

  Petra laughed. "Yep, I think so. No work or preschool today." Good thing she packed a heavy jacket and all the essentials needed for a cold day. But then again, now that so much snow had fallen, there was no way someone would be able to get back to her place and take a look at the heat. "Damn," she muttered over the realization.

  "You said a bad thing, Mommy!" Kinley scolded, wagging her finger at her.

  Whoops. So she did. "Sorry. Guess I owe a quarter in the jar when we get home, huh?"

  Her daughter nodded. "Yup."

  "Busted." Eric smirked.

  She never even heard him come out of his room. They'd stayed up an hour or so talking, and he took the couch so she could have the bed. Then he let her sleep in this morning and had Kinley fed and dressed by the time she woke up.

  Now he was dressed in blue jeans and a dark gray sweater, standing there laughing at her.

  Over her daughter's head, Petra stuck her tongue out at Eric.

  He chuckled. "Yeah, that's mature."

  "Don't make me go outside and get a snowball to throw at you," she threatened. "Or better yet, stuff it down your shirt."

  Eric's dark brows rose. "I wanna see you try." Was that a twinkle in his eye?

  Petra wasn't wearing her jacket or gloves, but she did have on her sneakers and two layers of clothes. Forget the gloves. To catch Eric off guard since he was taunting her, she'd go out there, grab a handful of snow with her bare hands and then shove it down the man's shirt. Serves him right for daring.

  She darted toward the door before he could react. Holy crap, it was cold! A blast of chilly air smacked her in the face. This was still worth it. She bent over and reached for a handful of snow. Then she bolted back inside, where Eric stood at the door in shock. So, he didn't think she really would have done it. Ha! She showed him!