Tis The Season For Forgiving

by Nikki Lynn Barrett

  Taking a small handful in one hand, she tossed it at his face with a smile. He sputtered. That's when she moved in on her prey. As he was wiping the snow off his face, she pulled on the soft fabric of his shirt and shoved the rest down the front.

  "Holy-" Eric's yell made her laugh. Even Kinley stood back and laughed. "That's fu- that's cold!"

  "Nice save," Petra said between fits of laughter. "You would have owed a dollar in the jar!"

  Eric kept tugging on his shirt to get the snow out, which made Petra laugh even more.

  Finally, he got all the snow out. He shot Petra a bewildered look, then took off for his room. Damn, was he mad? But a few minutes later, he came back out with gloves and a jacket. "I think we should bury you in the snow for that," he grumbled, but he was smiling.

  "Or...not." Petra took a step back.

  "You could be the inside of a snowman." He reached for her arm with a gloved hand. His grin was mischievous.

  "Sure, because I've always wanted to know what it felt like to be a snowman," she quipped with sarcasm. Would he really?

  "You have some strange wishes," Eric commented. Then he looked at Kinley. "Should we turn your mom into a snowman?"

  "No!" Kinley gasped, horrified. "Who's gonna feed me then?"

  "Oh, is that all I'm good for? Huh? What about hugs, kisses, and bedtime stories?" Petra put on her best pout.

  "All of it!" Kinley hugged her legs.

  "Okay, okay. How about we just go build a snowman?"

  "And a baby snow dog?" Kinley pleaded. She'd been wanting a dog for a long time, but there just wasn't enough time to add a pet to the mix of crazy.

  Eric shrugged. "Sure. We'll try that, too. Everyone dress warm."

  *****

  Snow dogs were a lot harder to create than one would imagine. Eric, Petra and Kinley spent an hour outside in the snow. All three were cold, but having a good time. Petra pulled out her phone and took pictures of everything, including the very lopsided and strange looking snow dog. Kinley seemed to enjoy it though, and that's what counted.

  Petra stuck her phone back in her pocket and messed with the makeshift nose on the snowman. Eric grinned, thinking about how this would be the perfect time to get her back for the snow down his sweatshirt. He quietly made a big ball of snow and approached her. She had no idea he had a sneak attack planned. He pulled the back of her jacket and shirt out and just as she jumped, he shoved the snowball down her back.

  "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Eric Jensen, that's freaking cold!" Petra yelled and she frantically tried to swipe at her back.

  He busted out laughing, and so did Kinley. "Payback!" He pumped his fist in the air as she whirled on him. Her cheeks were rosy pink and her mouth was open in a wide O.

  "Evil! You're pure evil!"

  "Learned from the best!" He pointed at her.

  "Hmph," she grumbled as she fixed her jacket.

  "Funny, Mommy!" Kinley pounced with her own tiny snowball.

  "Throw it at Daddy!" Petra protested.

  "No, at you!"

  Eric couldn't quit laughing.

  "You quit that!"

  "Or what?" he taunted.

  "Or ... I don't know. You'll probably do worse than whatever I threaten you with." She sighed, sounding defeated. Then she let out a series of shivers.

  "I think it's time to go in for a while and warm up," Eric said, feeling kinda bad about dumping snow down her back, even though it had been fun. "We'll call a truce on the snow fights."

  "That sounds-" Another shiver. "Fair."

  The three of them headed back inside. Eric grabbed a blanket and handed it to Petra so she could stay warm. "Hot tea, or hot chocolate?" he asked.

  "I'm good with either." She slid her jacket off and wrapped the blanket tight around her body. Kinley kicked off her snow boots and grabbed a coloring book and crayons he had for her in the spare room.

  He made his way to the kitchen to prepare the water for their hot drinks. As he waited for the water to boil, Eric watched his former girlfriend and their daughter. Kinley lay sprawled on her belly on the floor with her coloring book and crayons as the TV played cartoons. Petra nestled on the couch all curled up under the blanket with an open book in her hands.

  He'd made a mess out of things two years ago and even further back than that, but for some reason, Petra continued to at least be there. She didn't look at him with such fear any more. Instead, she had a lot of compassion lately for him. Kinda weird, but he couldn't complain. She'd grown and changed as she adapted to life as more of a single parent. He sure as hell didn't make things easy on her, even now, but he was getting better.

  Did he stand a chance? Was it too late to try again? Petra's wish the other night got him thinking. Sure he could try to forgive himself, but wold that be enough? He wanted to be that guy, the one who was suitable for a relationship. The one where his kids could run to him with loving eyes. Kinley did, but she still seemed hesitant and unsure sometimes.

  He longed for more. So much more, but he wasn't sure if he could pull that off. He was still so damn awkward around people, even Petra.

  In his anger management meetings, he'd always held back. Maybe it was time to talk about the event that most likely was the game changer in his behaviors. If he could forgive himself starting there, maybe the rest would be easier.

  The water was at a rolling boil, so he turned off the stove, poured the water into three mugs, and mixed up the drinks. Once it cooled some, he'd pour Kinley's into a smaller cup, one that wasn't ceramic. He set the pot back on the stove, pushed the mugs back, and went into the living room.

  Petra moved her feet in order for Eric to sit. She smiled at him and set down her book.

  "Hot drinks are almost ready. Just cooling down a little," Eric informed her.

  "Thanks," she replied quietly. Then she stared at the window, lost in thought. "I don't think anyone's going to get to my place to fix the heat."

  "Well, then you stay here another night, or until it's fixed." He leaned back on the couch, his hand resting by his side.

  They sat in silence for a while. Eric stared off at the TV, but didn't really pay attention to what was on. After nearly ten minutes, he went to check on the drinks. He peered down at Kinley, who'd fallen asleep face first in her coloring book. With a smile, he gestured at Petra to come look.

  "I guess playing in the snow for hours knocked her out. I'll go put her down while you get the drinks." She crouched down and scooped their daughter in her arms.

  Since Kinley went to sleep, Eric put her cup in the fridge. He'd just warm it up later for her when she wanted it. Picking up the two mugs for himself and Petra, he met her back in the living room when she returned. He handed her a mug, and they ventured back to the couch.

  Their hands brushed each other's when they got comfortable. Eric had the inclination to curl his fingers over hers. What would she do if he did that?

  One way to find out. He doubted she'd ever feel the urge to try again, and honestly, Eric wasn't sure if he was good dating material, but he'd be willing to try and try hard.

  He closed his fingers over hers in a gentle manner. Immediately Petra shifted her gaze his way. Her lips were parted slightly and he noticed the surprised look.

  But she didn't pull away.

  He sure as hell surprised himself with what he blurted out. "Hey, Petra? Can we- you and I- go out to dinner sometime this week? You know, a date?"

  Chapter Eleven

  "He asked you out on a date? We're talking about Eric?" Robin's voice was loud and almost at a shriek in Petra's ear that evening. Petra had been caught off guard, needless to say, when Eric asked her to dinner sometime this week. Right after he held her hand.

  "Came as a shock to me, too." Petra checked on Kinley again. She was sitting at the table, playing with her dolls. They were alone in the apartment as Eric volunteered to drive to her place to pick up extra stuff. She didn't want to go out in the snow on her own, but hadn't packed enough stuff for more than a day.
Then he said he was going to pick up a few things from the store, since he didn't have as much food, especially for two extra guests that he wasn't expecting.

  "So, what did you say?"

  "I agreed. Now I'm wondering what I'm doing and thinking. This is Eric! I spent the last two years getting over how he treated me and all the things he did, then all of a sudden he throws me for a loop. What's wrong with me?"

  "Do you think he's really changed?"

  Petra sighed. She'd been debating that question for a while now. "I don't know. He's different, but will it last? Should I open my heart to the possibility?"

  "I let Jonas back in my life tentatively," Robin reminded her.

  "Yeah, but Jonas wasn't a complete as- jerk." She corrected herself before Kinley heard her. "He did some messed up things, yes, but we all know what Eric's done."

  "Maybe everyone deserves a second chance. I can't believe I'm saying this, especially about Eric, but I can't deny he's a different man. I saw him at his worst, too."

  "What do you think Cheyenne would say?"

  Robin sighed. "I don't know, but ultimately it's up to you. She knows he's different, and you can ask her if that's what you feel you need to do, but it's your world, your heart."

  Robin had a point. It was her world and her heart. Question was, did she want to go down this road again?

  "I've hoped that man would figure his crap out and change one of these days. Years ago, I'd hoped that he'd treat Cheyenne the way she deserved. She's got her happiness now. Now it's your time to decide what you want. Lay it out on the line and chance it, or leave it as is and find someone who will make all your dreams come true."

  So many of the same things Robin had told her two years ago when Petra anonymously called the crisis hot line when she had no one to turn to. She needed to take the words to heart.

  "Thanks, Robin. I'm just so damn conflicted." She ran a hand through her hair.

  "Yeah, I can imagine. And to an extent, I understand. I felt the same way when Jonas walked back into my life and brought his persistence with him. I know it's different for you. Just know I'm here, and so is Cheyenne and Caitlin. Whatever you decide, we'll be here to support you."

  "I appreciate it. I don't know where I'd be without you guys."

  Someone knocked on the door. Petra jumped up, figuring it was Eric needing help carrying things in. "Robin, gotta go. I think he's back." They hung up and, bracing herself for the cold air, Petra pulled open the door.

  It wasn't Eric standing there.

  *****

  Eric drove home slowly. The snow was coming down again, and it was hard to see. In the backseat were more of Kinley and Petra's things, along with a few bags of groceries. He even had to pick up personal items, which he was surprised Petra was okay with. But then again, duh, they'd been together at one time. He had to laugh at himself for being so weird about it. He'd noticed her collection of romance novels on the shelf in her room, and to make things worse for himself, he sat down and picked one up. He'd thumbed through the book and found one of the sex scenes in the story. Was that the kind of thing Petra wanted from a man? Because if that were the case, he was screwed. He didn't have a romantic bone in his body, let alone a wild streak when it came to sex. Sure he liked a woman being on top and a little rough around the edges ... but that?

  Maybe it was time to read up on romance novels, and maybe a few how-to guides on what a woman wants out of a relationship. He had no idea what to do. But for some reason, the idea of trying to win Petra over and seeing where things went appealed to him. He just had to find the side of him she might like. Or more than like.

  "Argh," he grumbled, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. If the snow wasn't coming down so hard, he'd turn on the radio to drown out his thoughts, but he was already having a hard time with concentration. Good thing home was only five minutes away, but with the weather, it would probably take double the time to get back.

  When he arrived in the complex and parked, Eric grabbed as many bags at once as he could and trudged through the snow. At least here, the snow wasn't as slushy and slick. There were two other sets of fairly fresh footprints that led right up to his door.

  Did Petra and Kinley go outside for a little while? That didn't add up. Kinley had been half asleep watching TV when he'd left. Odd.

  He shifted the stuff around in his arms, but still couldn't open the door without something falling. He kicked at the door three times with his foot instead. His hands ached with the weight of the bags resting in one place.

  Petra opened the door pretty quick. Her expression was one of ... he wasn't sure, but she helped by grabbing a few of the bags.

  "Did you two go outside again?" Eric rushed in, thankful for the warmth and the chance to free his hands. As he headed for the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks, staring at two faces he sure as hell wasn't expecting to see here.

  Petra closed the door and stepped up beside him. "They showed up a few minutes ago." He wasn't sure what the tone in her voice meant, but damn, this was uncomfortable.

  Gina and Evan were in his apartment. Why were they here? How did Gina have his address?

  "I'm sorry. I had no idea you had company already. I- I wasn't sure what to do. I picked Evan up from the sitter's and as I passed my house, I noticed something odd. I was afraid to go inside." She continued to ramble.

  Petra took the bags from Eric's hands. "Here, let me put this away, and you can talk to them." Her voice and expression were neutral.

  Eric nodded, unsure what to say. He handed her the bags and glanced back in the living room. Kinley was still on the floor watching cartoons, oblivious to the extra people around her. Evan stood close to his mom, watching Eric carefully.

  "I'm really sorry. I just- I didn't know where else to go." Gina continued to apologize.

  "It's okay, but maybe it's time you tell me what you know." Eric rubbed the back of his neck. His gaze drifted to Petra, who'd busied herself with putting the stuff he bought away. "Who are these people? Why are they coming around now?"

  Gina's face paled. Evan leaned closer.

  Crap. He should have waited to say something when Evan wasn't around. Wasn't it bad enough he'd lost his father? Now people, who could be dangerous, had approached their house. It had to be connected to his dad.

  Me and my big mouth.

  "Kinley, come on and have some hot chocolate before bed. You're welcome to some, too." Petra stood at the kitchen's entrance. She was talking to Evan. Her gaze slid over to Eric and, with minimal body language, she gestured at him to talk to Gina. She had the rest covered, meaning keeping Evan occupied.

  She was good at this stuff. He mouthed a thank you at her.

  "Can I, Mom?" Evan asked.

  Gina seemed relieved. "Absolutely. Have at it."

  Kinley scrambled up from the floor and ran to the dining room table. She walked around Evan slowly, as if trying to study him. Then she climbed up on her chair and waited for Petra to hand her a cup.

  Eric led Gina to the living room. Petra had things under control in the dining room as she kept Evan content with conversation and hot chocolate.

  Gina tugged on a piece of fuzz stuck to her black pants. She avoided looking up. When she did, there were tears in his eyes. "This isn't easy."

  "I'm sure it's not."

  "You probably already know most of what Adrian did years ago, right?"

  Eric nodded, waiting for her to continue. He and Adrian had been through the same things, a lot of anger, doing stupid things. Most of those things, they'd talked about.

  "The drugs? The stealing?" Gina clasped her hands together.

  Again, Eric nodded.

  She sighed. "Okay. Well, when Adrian and I met, I was dating someone else. The 'leader' of their group. I'd had enough of his crap and was on the verge of leaving him. Adrian was new, and we hit it off right away. I know, crazy me going from one messed up guy to the other. But there was something about him. Anyway, the guy didn't handle it well when Adrian a
nd I walked away. Adrian still had some issues to deal with even when we were together, including the anger, the drinking and stuff, but I tried to stick by him. One night, two years ago, my ex broke into our house and stole some stuff that was important to me. At least, that's what we think."

  "So Adrian all of a sudden wanted to confront him and find that stuff?" Eric didn't like the sound of this. Why did Adrian want to do that all of a sudden, after years of being a better person? What prompted him?

  "It wasn't really all of a sudden. Adrian and I ran into them a few months ago, and all of a sudden he felt this urge to want to get the stuff back. I kept telling him, as important as it was to me, I wanted him to be safe and not do it. Not when he was doing so well, there was Evan to consider, and we thought we were finally over with them."

  What the hell was so important that Adrian wanted to get back?

  Not to speak ill of the dead, but damn his friend for dragging Eric into that! He'd totally lied to him about that night. The end result would still have been bad, even if someone hadn't killed Adrian.

  "So, you think they're back to 'claim what's theirs', meaning you?"

  "I'm not sure."

  "Gina, you have to tell the cops about this." Especially because someone had seen him.

  "I can't," She covered her face with her hands.

  "The hell you can't. You're in danger. Your son is in danger. I could be in danger."

  Her eyes widened.

  "You have to, Gina. This isn't something to play around with," he insisted. What the hell wasn't she saying?

  Chapter Twelve

  Two hours later, Gina and Evan still hadn't left. Kinley was already passed out in her room, and Evan was falling asleep at the table. Petra partially listened to the conversation between Gina and Eric. She wanted to know what was going on, but she didn't want to eavesdrop, either.

  "Yes, Ben is my son. Jacob adopted him. When you made the comment that day, I was already upset," Eric explained to Gina.

  "And the younger kids are Jacob's?"

  Eric hesitated. Petra froze. How was he going to explain Desiree? She'd never understood why Eric had been so insistent she wasn't his. He'd also freaked out immensely when Petra had ended up pregnant, especially when he found out it was a girl. She never understood why.