Tis The Season For Forgiving

by Nikki Lynn Barrett

  "There's a chance Desiree could be mine." His voice was full of remorse. "I was a pretty horrible person a few years ago. I left my ex-wife to take care of things, then when Petra and I were together, I was no better to her. I did the works, like Adrian. Drinking, yelling ... I was a major ass. Jacob and Ben met and were both attached, and the rest is history. Jacob adopted both kids and provided a better life for them than I ever could."

  So, he'd finally started to accept the fact that Desiree was his? Maybe he really had come a long way. It was too late for him with Ben and Desiree, at least in terms of a father figure, but he could make it right by admitting to Cheyenne, and even Jacob, that he'd been wrong.

  Petra wasn't sure if he would. But at least in his mind, he'd been doing some serious considering. Or so it seemed.

  "Oh." Gina's voice changed.

  That was her cue. "Evan's almost passed out at the table," Petra informed Gina. Hopefully, they would go home soon. But then again, it was snowing, dark, and the woman was scared. Talk about a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

  "God, I should get home. I'm afraid to..."

  Eric stood and faced Petra. Their eyes locked. Then he turned away. "Why don't you two stay here tonight? The couch has a pull out. You and Evan can sleep there."

  And that left Eric to sleep where? Petra didn't say a thing. She wasn't going to add to the already tense room.

  "I didn't mean for any of this. I just didn't know who to talk to. Evan kept asking about you, and..." Gina shrugged, her eyes wide.

  "You made a good call," Petra said softly, hoping to reassure her.

  "I don't want to put you all out," Gina insisted.

  "It's one night. It's snowing out there, it's late, and Evan is already out. It won't hurt, especially if you felt like someone was there by your house. Go back in the daylight when you can see more of what's going on," Eric suggested.

  Gina threw her arms around him. "Thank you."

  Petra shook her head, unsure of what to make of the woman. Sometimes, Gina acted clingy and weird. Other times she acted like she could handle everything. Was that what Petra had been like years ago? Lost, vulnerable, and unsure of the world?

  Eric pulled out the sofa bed and grabbed some blankets. "I don't have many extra pillows," he apologized.

  "I don't care. I'll use one of the couch pillows." Gina aided her half awake son toward the bed.

  Eric followed Petra to the room to get a blanket. He reached out and touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry about tonight."

  She whirled around, confused. "What do you mean?" It wasn't Eric's fault Gina and Evan were here. Well, unless she wanted to blame him for being good to people who needed help in a bad time in their lives, but she didn't.

  "I know Gina makes you feel..."

  "Feel what?" What would he know about what Gina made her feel? Did he seriously think she was jealous? Maybe the first time, when she'd spotted them in the store, but after that there'd been no jealous feelings.

  "I don't know. Weird?" He moved to the closet and pulled out a dark blue blanket.

  "This whole night is weird." She didn't elaborate. Her feelings, the changes in Eric, and the changes in her heart. All of it was just weird. "So, how are sleeping arrangements going to work?"

  He stopped just as he made it to the doorway. "I'll take the floor in here, I guess. Hadn't really thought about it." Then Eric left the room.

  Petra checked the bag Eric brought back to see what he'd picked out for her. Surprisingly, he'd thought of a lot and grabbed a variety of things for her that she didn't expect.

  When he walked back in, Petra turned to him. "You aren't sleeping on the floor. It's cold and comfortable."

  "Well I'm not about to make you sleep on the floor," Eric said, folding his arms.

  "No, but this bed is big enough for two."

  His eyes widened and his cheeks turned red.

  "Eric, we've slept in the same bed before," Petra pointed out. Yes, years ago when they were together, but it wasn't a big deal. They'd sleep, wake up, and forget about it.

  "If you're sure."

  He'd been saying that a lot lately.

  Petra held back a sigh. "Of course I'm sure."

  Fifteen minutes later, they were both changed and ready for bed. Eric closed the door and stood at the side of the bed watching her.

  "Getting in, or what?" Petra lowered her book to peek at him.

  "Uh, yeah." He must have shrugged off whatever second thoughts he had, because he pulled the covers back and climbed in.

  Awareness shot right through her, and Petra tried hard to focus on her book. She wanted to ignore the fact that there was a man in the bed inches away from her body. The very same man she'd loved. The very same man who'd-

  Ugh. Enough, mind!

  "Do I need to turn the light off? I always read a little bit at night." She hadn't been much of a reader two years ago, but living with a child and having so many changes in life, it was something she'd picked up and had actually enjoyed.

  "Nah. I'm good." Eric turned away from her. What was he thinking about right now?

  Five minutes later, Petra sighed. She could not concentrate on this damn book if her life depended on it! And she wasn't even that tired!

  Eric turned around to face her. "You all right?"

  "Yeah," she lied, brushing it off. "Just a little restless." Putting the book on the nightstand, she shut off the lamp. Darkness surrounded them, and she shifted to lay on her side, facing away from Eric.

  Sleep couldn't find her fast enough.

  *****

  Eric was having a hell of a time getting to sleep with Petra beside him. What had he been thinking? But he couldn't let Gina and Evan drive out in that weather and have a clean conscience, especially with a hint of danger lurking. He just had to figure out what she was so afraid of when it came to these people, and what they'd taken.

  When Petra let out a long sigh, Eric wondered if she was struggling as much as he was.

  "Should I move to the floor so you can sleep?" he asked.

  The weight on the bed shifted. "No, you don't need to move. You can't sleep, either? Maybe I should move." Her voice was closer. She must have turned around.

  Eric did the same. He faced her. "You aren't leaving this bed, woman," he growled. "I'm not about to put you out because we can't handle being in bed together."

  Petra let out a nervous laugh. "Funny, we never had a problem being in bed together before."

  Sex had never been one of their problems. Eric forced a chuckle, not really sure what to say to her quip. "No, I was the problem."

  "I wasn't any better." Petra reached out and took his hand. His hand tingled where her's covered the skin.

  "How do you figure? I made nightly trips to my ex-wife's house drunk. I was screwed up to you."

  "Yeah, but I was weak and allowed it. I let myself depend on a man for my happiness and needs, and so I thought it was something I did wrong when you changed."

  "I never knew that you felt that way."

  "That's because I never let you know. It was a realization I had come to that night at Cheyenne's-"

  "When I punched Jonas," Eric finished. He was trying to get inside through the back door, and that boy took the brunt of his anger that night. That had been his rock bottom. He couldn't even recall what he'd been so pissed off about, either. He just wanted to get Petra and the baby and go home. Then she'd told him she was done, and it sent him over the edge.

  "We both had some hard things to accept after that night."

  Yeah, they did. "So, why did you stay with me so long?" He wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer.

  Another sigh escaped her lips, and she squeezed his hand. "Sometimes, there's things that can't be explained. I don't know, Eric. I loved you, but I was hurt, too. I suppose a part of me thought I had a chance to help you get through your anger and problems. I wasn't enough. I couldn't fix you, and I had to learn I wasn't meant to be there to do that. We started our r
elationship in the worst way ever, and we paid for it in the end."

  "Do you believe in second chances?" He let the words out without thinking.

  "Everyone deserves a second chance at things, if they work hard for it," Petra replied.

  But did that mean there was a second chance available for them?

  He wasn't sure, but he'd find a way to try.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Two days later, Petra was finally able to get someone over to fix the heater, and boy did it cost her an arm and a leg. She cringed as she paid the man. There went the emergency fund.

  She thanked the man and checked the time. Today was the day Eric had to go by the hospital and see if he was a match for his father. True to her word, she planned to go with him for moral support. Tomorrow night was their dinner date. Actually, Petra looked forward to it. Dating wasn't something she and Eric ever did. They'd just been 'together'. Nothing official. It was just insinuated. She never realized how much she wanted something official, or at least better than what they'd started with, until it was all said and done.

  "Come on, Kinley!" she called. Her parents were going to keep her for a few hours. Petra just hadn't told them why. She just said she had an appointment. They probably wouldn't approve of her thinking of Eric as more than her ex and Kinley's father.

  But she'd been thinking about him as much more than that.

  Kinley skipped out of her bedroom with a big smile on her face. Her pigtails were lopsided. Petra laughed, fixed her daughter's hair, and they were on their way.

  "So what's this appointment? Is everything okay?" Mom asked when they arrived.

  Petra sighed. May as well tell her. She didn't need to worry her mom over nothing. "It's not for me. It's for Eric."

  "Eric?" Mom's eyes went wide. "Why are you going to an appointment for Eric?"

  "For moral support. He's going to be tested to see if he's a match. His father needs a liver transplant. His parents are really hard on him."

  "Oh lord, child. I hope you know what you're doing. That man is nothing but trouble." Mom's warning was stern.

  "He was, Mom. People change. Eric's trying," Petra replied, defending him. This was just what she feared.

  "I doubt that man can learn to change."

  She lost her patience. "Everyone deserves a second chance. You haven't seen him. There's definitely a change in Eric."

  Mom didn't want to hear another word. She just shook her head sadly, her expression disapproving.

  "I'm not even doing this to get back with him, anyway. I'm trying to be a friend." No doubt she did wonder about a second chance for them, but it was way too soon to be talking about that with anyone else. "Thank you for watching Kinley. I'll be back in a while. See you later, sweetie." She gave her daughter a kiss and left before her mother could say anything else.

  Petra met Eric in front of the hospital. He paced the waiting area and looked relieved when she arrived. "Hey."

  "Hi." He stopped pacing and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You get your heater all fixed?"

  She nodded. "Yup. I'm letting it run while I'm here. Hopefully the house will be much warmer when I get back to it."

  "I'm glad it's fixed." Eric looked past her towards the door, then flicked his gaze back on her again. "I um, I'll miss you staying at my place."

  Whoa. Petra's pulse quickened. She did not expect to hear him say something of that nature.

  "I mean, it gets lonely sometimes," he said, trying again. Redness dotted his cheeks. Eric, blushing? She never realized just how hard it was for him to really say what he was feeling, without anger anyway.

  Petra laughed softly, then took his hand. "You're cute when you get flustered. You know that?" She'd never seen him this way in the few years they'd known each other.

  "There you are, son."

  Petra and Eric both turned at the sound of his mother's steel toned voice.

  "Hello, Petra. What a surprise to see you today." The woman didn't hide her distaste.

  "I came to support Eric." She squared her shoulders and spoke through clenched teeth. The comments would come. She was sure of it.

  "Ah." The woman nodded. Her hair grayed at the roots, blending in with the dark brown. The array of silver in her hair made for interesting highlights.

  That was it? Ah? Petra wasn't sure what to make of this.

  "It's just a simple blood test, but it's nice to see Eric has support."

  If that's the case, why do you sound so unhappy about my being here?

  "I didn't know it's a simple blood test," Eric muttered.

  Petra knew he was doing his best not to get angry at his mother.

  "To start off with, yes. If you're a match with blood type, there'll be more." His mother gestured. "Follow me. Let's get this going."

  *****

  "You're telling me Dad doesn't know I'm testing? Is he that pissed off at me?" The blood test was over. Eric was tired and more than a little frustrated, especially when his mom let that little detail slip out.

  "Your father is in a difficult place right now. He doesn't want anyone to be tested to fix his liver." Mom peered at him through the thick lenses of her glasses.

  Yeah, he doubted that was all.

  "Does he know Cameron is testing?" He'd bet Dad did. His youngest sister was the highlight of his father's children, the one who could never disappoint. Unlike Eric.

  Mom's quiet expression and the guilty flash in her eyes gave it away.

  "Okay then," Eric mumbled. He didn't need to hear any more. "I guess ... let me know what more I can do." He wanted to get up from this seat right now, but his legs were rubbery, and he was a bit light-headed. Petra stood nearby and put a hand on his shoulder to help ease him back in his seat.

  Without another word, his mother stalked out of the room.

  Eric stifled a sigh and closed his eyes, forgetting for a second that Petra was still in the room with him. He was more than ready to get out of here. When Petra touched his shoulder, he opened his eyes.

  "What do you say we get out of here? Let's go grab something to eat, because to be honest, you're as white as a ghost. Squeamish about needles?"

  "A little," Eric admitted, but it was more than just needles that got to him today.

  "Your family?" She quieted her tone.

  "Yeah."

  Petra held out a hand. "Come on, I'll buy you something to eat. Maybe your dad will come around soon."

  She didn't know the whole story. But Eric left it alone, took her hand, and let her help him to his feet. On the way out, they passed his mother. She glared at them, especially since Petra had a hand on his arm.

  "You two have no business being together," she snapped.

  Eric's anger surged, but Petra beat him to the punch.

  "I mean you no disrespect, but that's not up to you to decide. Eric and I may have made a lot of mistakes in the past, but the decision on our future is ours and ours alone."

  "You two will only bring each other down." His mother threw her hands up in the air.

  Petra took a step forward. "Just so you know, your son has gone though so many changes. I've grown in the past few years, too. I don't know why there's so much animosity between this family, but maybe you should get to know this version of your son."

  "Has he made it right by his children that he abandoned?" his mother snapped, glaring at them both.

  Eric fumed. More of this again. Go figure.

  Petra took his hand in hers. "Have you made it right by the son you're so critical to? I may not be Cheyenne, and it's obvious you wish Eric made it right with her, but she's moved on. In the few years I've known Eric, I've watched you scrutinize him for everything. He's made mistakes. I know this because he hurt me in the past, but he's making a better life for himself. He's here today, even though your husband seems to want nothing to do with him."

  Eric's mother harrumphed and stalked off, not saying a thing. He stood there staring after her, stunned.

  "I probably shouldn't have sai
d anything, but geez. I'm sorry, Eric." Petra lowered her voice.

  "That's the first time in ages someone stuck up for me." He wanted to hug her.

  "I know. I'm getting all riled up. But they want this from you and can't even thank you? I guess I never noticed how your family acts towards you. I have to say, this is a time where I'd have expected your anger to surge. You really have come a long way." Petra smiled at him, then touched his cheek gently. "I'm proud of you." She surprised him when she kissed his cheek.

  After eating, Eric's light-headed feeling went away. As he and Petra walked out of the hospital, he had this longing to not let her go just yet, but what else would they do? She had to go get Kinley soon, and they drove in separate cars, but he wasn't ready to go home alone.

  Then an idea flashed in his mind. "Want me to follow you home to check your heater?" Well, he didn't quite get the words out the right way, but hey, at least he'd said something.

  Petra stood by her car, keys in hand. She nearly dropped them. "I don't think that's necessary."

  Disappointment sagged in his shoulders. "Oh, okay." He bent to pick her keys up for her, but at the same time, she reached for them. Their hands briefly touched, but the sparks of need slammed into him. Why couldn't he have appreciated what he had when he had it? Their relationship may not have started off in the best way - two strangers meeting on a night his world had blown apart with news of divorce - but if he could have picked himself up and learned from his previous mistakes, he and Petra could have done better.

  But he hadn't. Instead, his anger and drinking spiraled out of control. Cheyenne may have divorced him, but he'd continued to make her life hell, then included Petra in that mix.

  And now, two years later, he wanted a second chance with Petra. He knew she felt something, but she didn't act on it much. Not that he could blame her.

  "Eric," she said quietly.

  He peered over at her. "Yeah?"