Learning to Walk Again

by S. L. Kassidy

  “Evie, you should come in sooner on that last song. I think it’ll make it sound lighter,” Dane said, making a note of it in her portfolio.

  “Actually, I was thinking we should add this riff to it.” Evie played a light melody.

  Dane nodded. “Dougie, jump in with the piccolo, playing the same thing.”

  Dougie started in and Evie played with him. Dane liked it. She jotted down notes on that song. She hoped Calvin showed up more often if they could be this productive.

  “Well, folks, thanks for having me, but I have other business today. The music sounds wonderful,” Calvin said.

  “Well, you can thank our great musical director for that.” Samiyah motioned to Dane.

  Calvin nodded with a small smile. “It seems like a group effort.”

  “She encourages us to give input,” Pedro said.

  “She also builds unique songs to showcase our talents, which allows us to come up with other ideas,” Greg said.

  “And she understands our strengths and weaknesses to bring things together,” Ryan said.

  Calvin's grin grew wider. “You have a supportive ship here, Dane. I think this is special little group. Everything I heard sounds wonderful, and you’re still tweaking things to sound better.”

  “You’ll get the best possible mix from us by the time the show opens,” Dane replied.

  “I have no doubt. Thanks for having me. Good day.” And just like that Calvin was gone. Dane breathed a sigh of relief.

  “Good work, crew!” Lennox gave a round of high fives to everyone, except Dougie. With a sneer on his lips, it seemed Dougie was grateful to be left out.

  “Good work, yes, but we still have a long road ahead of us. From the top!” Dane clapped her hands and then twirled her index finger.

  “Slave driver! Can we get a break? We’ve been playing all morning nonstop.” Lennox wiggled his fingers at her.

  Dane glanced at the clock. “Ten minutes and then from the top.” The room cleared quickly. She laughed until Andrew showed up at the door, glaring at her. “What now?”

  “Your band is a menace. They’re out there harassing the actors and Dougie is in my face again.”

  “None of that sounds like my problem.” Why the hell does he keep thinking this is my problem? Of course, he must know how annoying this whole song and dance is and that’s probably why he’s doing it.

  He scowled. “You have to keep them under control.”

  Scoffing, she waved him off. “They’re on break, and they’re probably just talking to people who aren’t rehearsing. They’ve been getting good feedback about the characters, the scenery, and scenes to help them with the music. Maybe if you were willing to have a conversation with any of us, they wouldn’t be doing that.” She’d go check to make sure as soon as Andrew was out of her face. She didn’t want the orchestra to mess up someone else’s practice.

  “I don’t have to talk to you or them. Now, go get them.”

  Dane sighed and scratched an eyebrow, coming close to pulling a piercing. “They’re on break.”

  “They’re in my way.”

  Dane rolled her eyes. Andrew was in his own way and his head was up his ass. His little visit made her think he had called Calvin on her, but she didn’t care. He helped her if he did. She’d return the favor, in the sense that she’d go check on her orchestra. As suspected, her orchestra was socializing with actors who weren’t rehearsing. Dane gave Andrew a glance and dismissed the whole matter. With a few minutes to spare, she decided to call Nicole.

  “We need to talk more anyway,” Dane muttered as she fell into the nearest chair. It clattered under her weight, but didn’t feel like it’d crumble under her like most chairs in the band room.

  “Hey, baby,” Nicole said, a smile in her voice. “How are you?”

  The question was simple, but it got Dane talking. She explained how she got so much done and Nicole listened. It was nice. This has to be how Nick feels when I listen to her.

  “I’m happy you weren’t intimidated by Calvin walking in. It’s good you understand how great your work is,” Nicole said.

  Dane preened, even though Nicole couldn’t see. “Thank you, Chem.”

  Nicole laughed. “You don’t have to thank me, Danny. It’s good you’re enjoying yourself.”

  Dane nodded. She wanted to know about Nicole’s morning, but Nicole was more interested in talking about her. Dane grinned. Nicole was interested and invested in her. She wants me. The thought made her giggle and in her heart she felt light and loved.

  ***

  Nicole felt settled and content for the first time in a while. It was astonishing what one phone call from Danny could do for her. Just hearing from Danny made any day better. I hope I do that for her. But, it was more than just hearing from Danny. It was making breakfast that morning. It was about pulling her weight.

  She could understand Danny’s desire to do so much. She hoped Danny finally understood the balance of it. This morning felt like a rhythm. Hope it felt like that for her.

  Nicole went to lunch with her friends, but her thoughts were on what she’d make for dinner. She wanted it to be special, something like a celebration, but also intimate. She’d make one of Danny’s favorites. Which one, though? They didn’t have much at home for her to whip together a meal, either. She’d have to go to the store and she remembered the last time that happened. Well, no, I can’t be scared to do stuff. Just how Danny settled into her making breakfast, Danny would settle into her grocery shopping.

  “Hey, Nicole, you with us?” Clara asked, waving a hand in front of her face.

  Nicole blinked. “Hmm? Yeah.”

  “You don’t even know what we’re talking about,” Mina said.

  Nicole chuckled. “No, I really don’t.”

  “What’s on your mind?” Clara inquired.

  Nicole had to shrug. “I’m thinking about what to make for dinner. Danny’s been burning herself out making breakfast and dinner whenever I have class and she doesn’t want to admit it. I told her I could make dinner, but she insists on doing everything.”

  “Wait, wait, wait.” Mina waved her hand. “Please, don’t tell me you two had an argument over who would cook.”

  Nicole frowned. “So, what if we did?”

  Mina laughed, putting a hand to her forehead. Her eyes sparkled with mirth as she looked back at Nicole. “You two are so tooth-rotting adorable. I might have diabetes from knowing you. That’s how sweet you are.”

  Nicole rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up.” The arguments didn’t feel cute, and they shouldn’t be laughed at. They left her feeling useless, discarded, and disrespected.

  “You really had an argument over who would make meals?” Clara asked.

  Sighing, Nicole rubbed her eye. “She’s burning herself out, and I want to do things as well. We should take care of each other.”

  Clara chuckled a little and leaned on the table. “Okay, no, I think Mina’s right. This is way too cute.”

  Nicole made a mocking face at her friends. “Mina, how do you and Shawn find the right balance? You’re both busy with demanding careers and since Shawn hasn’t killed you yet, I’m assuming you guys have it all figured out.”

  With a smile, Mina gave Nicole a side-eye look. “Shawn is the one who’s dying if it’s anybody in this marriage. We eat a lot of take out and clean up after ourselves. If we’re going to have people over, we make sure to let the other know as soon as possible. Whenever one of us thinks we haven’t seen enough of each other, we make sure to tell the other and plan something out. We still go on dates. But, most importantly, for us anyway, is we joke around with each other all the time. It keeps our relationship light and carefree. If we take a joke too far, we trust each other enough to talk about it or if we feel like a joke was the truth but told as a joke, we talk about it.”

  Nicole nodded. She and Danny could be playful, but they didn’t joke like Mina and her husband did. Of course, Mina had been with her husband for many years and
they were comfortable with their relationship. Nicole was certain she and Danny would get there, but not yet. This was a step, though.

  Mina reached across the table and tapped her hand. “You’ll get there. And on the way, you’ll have more sugary, sweet arguments.”

  Nicole sucked her teeth and pretended to glare at Mina. “Why do I tell you anything?”

  “Love,” Mina answered and Clara nodded. Of course, she was right about that, too. “I’m serious. You’ll get there. It takes time and, yes, the arguments are going to sound silly to us, but they’ll be nuclear war to you. You’ll get over it. You never let the blow up blow you apart.”

  “I’ll do my best.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  NICOLE’S PHONE VIBRATED, AND a smile ticked onto her face. Danny was still getting the hang of having a cell phone, but she discovered texting recently and seemed to find it as acceptable as the rest of the world.

  The best part of it was that she got little text messages along with Danny’s usual call. Nicole had tried calling, but they could only talk for a couple of minutes before Danny had to rein in the madness that was her orchestra. From then on, they agreed Danny would call when she could.

  After finishing up an email, Nicole checked the text. It said, “I miss you.” She texted back the same and added an emoji blowing a kiss. Danny hadn’t figured out emojis yet. It’d tickle her. “How’s rehearsal?” She knew it’d be several minutes before Danny could respond and went back to work. Danny could only reply during breaks or at the end of songs.

  It took longer than she thought, but Danny replied. “Lennox is childish when no one’s watching him.”

  Nicole laughed. Danny wrote out full, proper sentences in text messages. She didn’t seem to know any of the abridged language. Nicole tried to avoid it with her because Danny always asked what something meant, which distracted from the conversation. It’d come with time.

  Nicole’s fingers glided across her phone. “What did he do?” She always thought Dougie would be the real problem for Danny, but Lennox seemed to get on her nerves.

  “It’s too long to explain here. I’ll tell you at home.”

  Nicole smiled. They had been trying to make time for each other, but it wasn’t working the way they wanted. It was going to get harder before it got easier. She had tons of schoolwork and Danny wanted to practice with the orchestra more. The show would open soon, and Danny was stressed over being perfect, which Nicole understood. But, they seemed to be more stable than before.

  There was a lot at stake for Danny. It could lead to more work. The world needed music that could touch places inside people they might not even know exist and make them feel on levels beyond their expectations. Nicole couldn’t wait to see the show. Well, really, she couldn’t wait to hear the music.

  “It’ll be amazing.” Nicole knew that for a fact and focused on her own work.

  And Danny won’t have to work with Samiyah anymore once this is done. She knew it was wrong and possibly a little petty, but every time Danny mentioned Samiyah, Nicole’s stomach quivered. Danny seemed hung up on Samiyah and spoke about her as if she was some musical demigod. No one wanted to hear their partner speak of someone else in such glowing terms. Right?

  Nicole shook her head, physically trying to rid herself of those troubling thoughts. “It’s nothing. Danny’s just impressed with her talent.” In her heart, Nicole knew that was the truth, but it scratched her insides. There’s too much of this right now. Too much knowing the truth, but feeling anxiety over the opposite anyway. This has got to stop.

  Nicole focused back on her work. The day passed by as usual. The only hiccup came as she packed up. She got a text from Danny. “Still working. Can you pick me up in an hour?”

  The request didn’t surprise Nicole. She knew when she had class, Danny tended to stay late at work. She thought Danny might be lonely at the house now, especially since they made up, but she couldn’t be sure. She’d ask about it later. For now, she replied, “No problem.” She could go to her campus library for a few minutes and get some more research books for her experiment and the accompanying research paper. She and Lisa had hit many speed bumps. Another library trip would be useful.

  “Hey, Jody,” Nicole called her cousin while she was on the way to school.

  “How’s it going, Nikki?” Jody replied.

  “I wanted to know if you’re all right with staying late.”

  “Oh, yeah. I get more done at your house than anywhere else. I’m learning that one day, I will much enjoy living alone.”

  Nicole chuckled. “I’m sure one day you’ll find someone who makes you want to at least be alone with them.”

  Jody snorted. “Doubtful, but I might get a dog. The dog must be as cool as Haydn, though. He’s too chill.”

  “Most of the time, yes. I’m going to my school’s library and Danny’s working late. Do you want me to bring you anything? Food? Books? A life?” she teased.

  Jody tittered. “The life sounds tempting. Bring me some food, though. I’m actually sick of pizza. Spoil me.”

  “I’d love nothing more. Your favorite meal will be delivered.”

  “And you remain my favorite cousin. Thank you.”

  Nicole laughed. “No, thank you. Love you.”

  “Love you, too.”

  In the library, she ran into the young man who had tried to be her lab partner. His name was Dwayne and after their awkward meeting and interacting with him in class, she found he was an upstanding guy. He just had a habit of running late with everything. Maybe he could only work under pressure? She was glad she wasn’t his lab partner. She’d have pulled her hair out trying to work with him.

  “Hey, Nicole,” Dwayne smiled at her as she stepped over to the shelf of books where he was.

  “Hey, Dwayne, working on your paper?” Nicole asked, eyeing the four books tucked under his arms.

  He tried to shrug, but almost lost his grip on his books. “Trying. You really should’ve saved me and been my partner when I first asked you. The guy I’m working with is worse than I am with deadlines.”

  Nicole laughed. “You’ll be all right. You’re good in class.” He really was. He probably would’ve been a good partner as far as academics went, but she couldn’t work with someone who thought handing work in at the last minute was a good thing.

  He squared his shoulders. “I’d be better with a competent partner.”

  “You can’t charm me, sir,” she replied with a wink.

  He laughed. “Of course, I can’t. I’m a nerd. I’d never even try.”

  She couldn’t help arching an eyebrow. “You’re a nerd?” Dwayne couldn’t look more like an average guy if he tried.

  “Oh, yeah. Total nerd. This is my second master’s degree. My first is in biology. I work in a lab. I have dorky glasses.” He only wore the glasses in class, possibly for reading. “Oh, and a totally ironic t-shirt.”

  Nicole drew back a little. “Your second degree? Seriously?”

  “Oh, yeah. Now, you’re impressed with my nerdiness.” He smirked and held his head up high, but then he laughed.

  Nicole tittered. “You can’t even say that with a straight face.”

  “I can’t. But, you are impressed. We can both admit that, eh?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “I will admit I need books, but nothing else. Oh, and that t-shirt isn’t even ironic,” she replied. His shirt said ‘smart remark loading’ with the loading graphic underneath.

  “It’s totally ironic.” He tried to tug at his shirt, but his hands were full of books and he couldn’t quite maneuver them enough. He almost dropped them again, but righted himself before they tumbled. “Look, I don’t want to keep you and I need to go anyway. Talk to you in class?”

  She nodded. “Definitely.”

  Dwayne went on his way while Nicole quickly located the science journals she needed. Nicole dumped her books in the back of the car and then drove to get Danny. By the time she made it to the theater, she expected to
see Danny waiting. No one was outside, though. She gave Danny a call.

  “Hey, baby, I’m outside.”

  “Oh. Shit. Lost track of time. I’ll be right out.”

  Nicole sighed, but didn’t think anything about it. About a minute later, Danny emerged from the theater. Samiyah walked alongside Danny. Nicole never confirmed she was Samiyah, but the violin case was a dead giveaway. Danny was about to confirm it, though, as she waved Nicole out of the car.

  “Nick, want you to meet Samiyah, the brilliant violinist keeping this whole ship from sinking,” Danny said, motioning to Samiyah. “Samiyah, this is the woman who keeps me sane, Nicole.”

  “Pleasure to meet you,” Samiyah said, offering a bright smile and her hand.

  “Likewise.” Nicole shook Samiyah’s hand. It was a normal handshake, and Samiyah was obviously a normal person. But, something about her ate at Nicole with jagged teeth.

  Danny pulled Nicole close and wrapped her arm around Nicole’s waist. Nicole felt warm despite the chill in the air. Glancing up, she locked eyes with Danny to see them sparkling and a small smile lit up Danny’s face. What the hell am I worried about?

  Why did she ask that question? Her mind came up with almost a dozen worries in a second. They couldn’t stop arguing about chores. Danny spent money on outrageous gifts. They hadn’t spent many waking hours together. They hadn’t had sex in several weeks. To be fair, the last one was your fault. That made it worse. And this is why we need some time alone, time to really reconnect.

  “Sorry for making you wait, angel,” Danny said.

  “It’s fine. I hope you got a lot of work done.”

  “She’s muddling along,” Samiyah said.

  Danny chuckled. “Thankfully, she’s helping. Her playing is much better than mine, especially when it’s cold.” Danny flexed her hand.

  “Well, I’m glad you have help,” Nicole said. That wasn’t really a lie. Despite her reservations about Samiyah, she knew how weather messed with Danny’s body.