Deep is the Heart

by A. V. Zeppa

  “Does it bother you?”

  “Not really. I trust you.”

  “I’m glad. You have nothing to worry about.”

  “I know. But Rafi really has it bad for you.”

  “Yeah, but he’ll figure out that it is never going to happen between us.”

  “I hope he figures it out soon.”

  Marco kissed David on the forehead and then started grinning.

  “What are you grinning at?”

  “I’m jealous. Olivia was undressing you with her eyes. She wanted to get you naked in the worst way.”

  David’s face turned five shades of red. “Yeah, that was uncomfortable.”

  “For your information Mr. Emerson, you are one of the cutest guys on campus. You are going to get hit on a lot, so you better get used to it too.”

  “That’s not true and you know it,” David said, feeling self-conscious.

  “Sometimes it is hard to see certain things about oneself, so I’ll fill you in. You are so cute that you give me goosebumps every time I look at you. You have a magic quality that is hard to explain. We’ve only been here a week and so many people have already checked you out. It makes me jealous, but it also makes me smile because you don’t realize what you are doing to people around you.

  So just know that girls and guys are going to continue to hit on you.”

  David seemed stunned. “You’re just saying that to make me feel good, right?”

  “I’m dead serious. So please be careful.”

  When they got to the upper campus, Marco asked David if he wanted to go out for lunch.

  “Yeah, I’d love to.”

  “Cool. I’ll meet you in front of the math building. Text me when you’re done.”

  They kissed, wished each other good luck, and then headed in opposite directions.

  CHAPTER 26

  The Mathematics Building was humming with students hurrying to make it to class on time. David savored every moment as he walked up the winding staircase to the fourth floor. The echoes of nervous voices and hurried footsteps gave him chills. He swore he could hear ghosts from the past giving him words of encouragement with each upward step.

  He walked into the lecture hall fifteen minutes early hoping to find a few good seating choices. It was about a third full, with most of the students either sitting way up front, or way in the back. He decided to sit in the middle, about halfway up so he could visually take in the atmosphere. He scooted semi-sideways down an empty aisle, slipped his backpack off and sat down. His intense deep eyes scanned the entire room, etching everything into his brain. Emotions of a lifetime, the vast unknown, rushed through his veins like ripples through the universe. And it felt perfect.

  Students started coming through the doors in droves a few minutes later. The first thing David noticed was how old everyone looked compared to him. Being the only freshman in the class was intimidating. Going into slight panic mode, he made himself as inconspicuous as possible. With his bangs covering his eyes, he scrunched down and kept his head low while powering up his laptop. He thought about Professor Godard teaching the class, hoping it would calm him down enough to get through the class in one piece.

  People were staring at him when he finally got the nerve to look around again. He quickly averted his eyes, trying not to panic. He decided to text Marco to calm his nerves. “I know this sounds weird, but people are staring at me. I feel so out of place.” Marco texted back. “You’ll be fine. All those seniors aren’t used to having a middle schooler in their class.” It made David smile. “Cut that out. This is scary stuff. How is your class?”

  “Hasn’t started yet, but everyone seems cool. It’s a small class, which I like. Don’t be afraid. You belong there and you know it. Have fun with it. Love you.”

  “Thanks for the encouragement. Love you too.”

  With his heartbeat finally slowing and his confidence returning, he started thinking about Miguel and what he must be going through. He sent him a text. “Good luck today. We need to hang out soon.” Within seconds Miguel responded. “You too. Do you wanna meet up for lunch today?”

  “Sorry I can’t. How about tomorrow?”

  “Sure. I get out of class at 1:30”

  “Me too. Let’s meet at Lerner at 1:45.”

  Miguel texted two thumbs up and a smiley face. As David was slipping his phone into his pocket, he keyed in on a conversation a group of students were having two rows behind him.

  “Is he the one Professor Logan has been talking about?”

  “He must be. Look how young he is.”

  “Awe, he’s so cute.”

  “Can’t be more than fifteen or sixteen.”

  “He’s adorable. Love his hair.”

  “It’s going to be nice having a cute genius running around here for a change.”

  The girls started giggling, knowing David had heard every word. He wished the professor hadn’t said anything, but hated feeling sorry for himself, so he decided to deal with it like Marco suggested. He sat back up, moved his bangs out of his eyes and smiled, knowing at least a dozen sets of eyes were still focused on him. He even turned around and said hi to the girls. It was a simple way to let them know it was all good.

  CHAPTER 27

  He stared, slunk down, silent, like a lion ready to devour its prey. This sleek sharp carnivore couldn’t keep his eyes off of that pale blond snack. He crouched strategically at the far edge of the lecture hall, five rows back. The perfect angle. Infatuated by his adorable profile, his shaggy blond hair, and a skinny twink body, his hormones were being propelled beyond reason.

  He needed to make his move. He got up, adjusted himself, and then quietly walked over to his row. “Is anyone sitting here?”

  He looked up from his laptop and gave the carnivore a preoccupied smile. “No. Sorry.” He moved his backpack and placed it between his feet. He couldn’t believe how cute he was up close. How that slight glance set him on fire. He wanted this guy to be gay in the worst way. He wanted to do him right there. “My name is Jordan.”

  He looked up from his laptop again. “Hi, I’m David. Nice to meet you.”

  “Same here.”

  David’s infectious smile was real, confident, and it made Jordan want him even more.

  “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you look a little young to be in this class.”

  David stopped typing and grinned. “I guess. I turned eighteen over a month ago. Honest.”

  Jordan breathed a sigh of relief. “Cool. You must be one of those off the chart guys.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Only seniors are allowed to take this class. Plus you have to test in.”

  “Professor Godard gave me an override. I’m on his research team. He said this class would be nice starting point for me.”

  “I’m impressed.”

  David looked down at his laptop, indicating that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Jordan wasn’t going to let him get away that easy. “So, how do you like Columbia so far?”

  “It’s everything I envisioned. I’m happy classes are finally starting.”

  “It’s a great place. The perfect college experience. Have you made any friends yet?”

  “Yeah, I’ve made a few. I hope to make more once everything settles down.”

  “Cool. I’d love to hang out and show you around.”

  “Thanks. But are you sure you want to hang around with a freshman?”

  Jordan laughed. “That’s irrelevant. Friendships shouldn’t have an age limit.”

  “I agree.”

  David had intoxicated Jordan by this point. He wanted to hold that slender body against his. He wanted that shy smile pressed against his lips. “Would you like to hang out later today?”

  “I’d liked to, but I have three other classes today. Then I’m getting together with my research team.”

  “No problem. Let’s exchange numbers. You can text me whenever you’re free.”

  “That sounds good.”
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  Everything got quiet when Professor Godard walked in. Jordan loved the excited look on David’s face. It sent his mind back to when he was a young impressionable freshman. Sadly that was long ago and far away. His innocent smile faded, and then vanished. His sex-starved smile replaced it. He couldn’t tell if David was gay or not, but it was a mathematical equation that needed to be solved soon.

  The first class of the semester had now begun.

  Jordan and David were packing up their things and talking about the homework assignment when some of Jordan’s friends spotted him. One look at David and they knew what Jordan was up to. They headed over to say hi. “We thought you skipped lecture today,” this incredibly cute girl said. She gave Jordan a hug, but was eyeing David like he was a piece of delectable chocolate.

  “Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time I skipped class.”

  “So, are you going to introduce us to your friend?” She asked, scooting closer to David.

  “Guys, this is David. He’s a new freshman.” David tried to stay calm so he could say something halfway intelligent. All that came out was a weak sounding “Hi.”

  Jordan introduced them one-by-one. “This is Marna, Joshua, and Chandler.”

  “It’s nice to meet all of you.”

  Marna could tell that David was getting ready to leave, so she started asking him questions.

  “So, how do you like it here so far?”

  “I love it. The campus is great, and I love being in the city even though I haven’t had a chance to see much of it yet.” It was the perfect opportunity for Jordan to make his move.

  “Well guys, we have to show our new friend what New York City life is all about. We’re planning one of our regular Manhattan excursions this weekend. You know, hitting a few bars and dancing the night away. Would you be interested in joining us? It’s a lot of fun.”

  David wanted to avoid the bar scene, so he tried to be tactful. “I’m not old enough to get into the bars, and I haven’t received my research schedule for the weekend yet.”

  “No problem. There are quite a few bars that have something called college night. They let anyone in who is at least eighteen years old. It’s alcohol free. All you have to do is show them your college ID.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know that.” Marna added, “We always go to the more upscale clubs where people aren’t so overwhelming, if you know what I mean.”

  David’s thoughts went to the night at the rave and knew exactly what she was talking about. “That’s good to know.” Jordan jumped in. “Text me whenever you get your weekend schedule to let us know if you can make it or not.”

  David looked at his watch. “I have to head to my next class. It was nice meeting everyone.”

  Jordan didn’t want him to leave. “What class do you have next?”

  “Intro to Higher Mathematics.”

  “Are you kidding me? Holy fuck.” He looked at David like he was an alien from another planet. Jordan and his friends had tried testing into that class multiple times and failed. He touched David’s arm hoping that some of his intelligence or magic or whatever he possessed would rub off on him. “Do you know who is teaching that class?”

  “No, but my other research professor told me that I would be pleasantly surprised.”

  “Professor Eldridge is teaching it.”

  A shy grin appeared on David’s face. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes I’m sure.” Jordan was jealous and really turned on. He couldn’t believe this hot twink was a genius too. “I don’t know if you know this, but he’s the most popular professor on campus.”

  “I figured. He’s brilliant. He’s been my hero since 8th grade. I can’t believe I’m in his class. It feels unreal.”

  “Well, I’m sure you want to get going now that you know. Have fun.”

  “Thanks, I will.” David walked to the aisle and started up the steps. He stopped and turned towards Jordan and his friends and waved, then he was out the door in a nanosecond.

  Jordan looked at Chandler. “What?”

  “It was so fucking obvious that you were coming onto to him. Take your time and plan it out, or you’ll scare him away.”

  “Was I that obvious?”

  “Duh. It looked like you were going to jump him any second.”

  Joshua went into protection mode. “Listen, you need to walk away from him. He’s way too young for you.”

  Jordan grinned. “Yeah, he is young, but he’s so fucking hot.

  “How old is he anyway? Fifteen? Sixteen?”

  “He is eighteen.”

  “You better cover up your woody. You’re such a slut,” Marna said, shaking her head and admiring the view. Jordan held his backpack in front of his crotch. “I want to have sex with him, but I think I like him too. He’s definitely boyfriend material.”

  “Are you fucking kidding? You have feelings for someone other than yourself?” Chandler asked, totally stunned.

  “Yeah, I can’t believe it myself. I need to find out if he’s gay. I don’t want to waste my time on a straight guy. I hope he is. There is something magical about him, I fucking swear.”

  Marna gave Jordan the usual look. “You’ve said that about a few other guys in the past.”

  “Yeah, I know, but this feels completely different.”

  “I can’t believe you just said that. Maybe our Jordan is finally growing up.”

  He stood there looking at the door David had just walked out of. “Maybe I am.”

  “Well, if he is straight, I want my chance with him,” Marna said. They looked at each other and sighed. Joshua tried to talk some sense into both of them. “You guys need to leave him alone. I mean, he’s really young and doesn’t seem to be jaded at all. So don’t fuck him up.”

  Marna reluctantly agreed. “Did you see the look on his face when you told him about Eldridge? It was like he had just opened up the best Christmas present ever. I wanted to hug him.”

  “So did I.” Jordan envisioned David in his arms.

  They finally made their way out of the lecture hall and headed their separate ways.

  CHAPTER 28

  David was still in shock when he walked out of Professor Eldridge’s class. He couldn’t believe how cool it was to see him in the flesh. To know that he was now one of his students. To realize that he was the only freshman in a graduate level class. The stares from the other students no longer mattered. He walked down the spiral staircase replaying the entire experience over in his mind.

  Professor Eldridge looked at David several times during the lecture. He didn’t see it coming the first time it happened. He was taking notes while trying to watch his every move and consume every word. The inflection, the cadence, the enthusiasm between the professor’s words and voice sounded like movements of a theoretical symphony to his ears. They arched and weaved in energico as the rondo drove the meaning home. Those words spoke to him, like they were trying to reveal theories hidden between the heart and mind. Theories that would become realities of his journey forward.

  As this symphony played, Eldridge looked directly at David while explaining the importance of reasoning like a mathematician. Their eyes locked for a couple of seconds, and he could swear that Eldridge gave him a slight smile. He wasn’t sure because he looked away, like he got caught doing something wrong. Like he didn’t belong there.

  A million thoughts flooded his mind. Was he a participant in some kind of cosmic Shakespearian tragedy? Was his hero human, or was he a god? Intimidation turned into fear, and then into doubt. Why was he born so different from everyone else? Why was he a recipient of the intelligence gift? And the overrides? He knew that every student around him had to work their asses off to get into that class, and there he sat with the one and only override. Sitting their like a golden child, he finally realized how intuitive his bullies had been over the years. He really was a freak of nature.

  With his confidence shaken and synapses racing, he told himself to get it together. That he belonged there regardless of
how it happened. That it was his destiny. He sat up again and continued to listen to the professor’s words. They were measured and hopeful. His insecurities faded away as his confidence returned.

  David vowed not to look away if the professor looked at him again. And sure enough, it happened a couple of minutes later. Eldridge was casually walking around the stage explaining mathematical foundations and ended up standing near David. Their eyes locked onto each other while Eldridge stressed that the mathematics of M-Theory, and M-Theory’s existence, could be potential keys to help reconcile General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics.

  David didn’t look away. Instead he tried to let Eldridge know that he was up for the challenge with a nod of his head. The professor acknowledged him with a brief pause and a determined look before continuing on. It was a moment David would never forget as long as he lived.

  When he got to the first floor he texted Marco to come meet him. Marco responded a few seconds later. “I’m on my way. My classes are good. See you in a few. Love you.”

  “Hurry, I need to kiss you. I love you too! ;-)”

  Just as David was ready to walk outside, he heard someone call his name. He turned around to see who it was. Jordan came running up. “Fancy meeting you here,” he said. “Do you mind if I walk with you?”

  “No, not at all.”

  “So, how was your hero’s lecture?”

  David’s smile lit the entire hallway up. “It was the most unbelievable experience of my life.”

  “I figured it would be.”

  The first day of college had shown David that pursuing ones dreams, working diligently, and staying true to core beliefs were more than just theoretical aspirations. His life had finally aligned in gravitational perfection: He was in love, and was being loved. He was being challenged on an entirely new academic level. He was making new friends from all over the world. And he had the honor of being taught by three professors who were opening cosmological doors and letting him play.