West of Nowhere

by KG MacGregor

“Fine,” Amber said. “But the next time you pull a stunt like this one, I want you to remember what happened to the little boy who cried wolf.”

  “Aw, you won’t let somebody come in here and eat my sheep, will you?”

  “No, but I’ll mix Skippy turds in with your stupid little Goobers, you ornery old man.” No longer concerned about hiding her affections, Amber patted Joy on the back. “You should get on to bed. I’ll deal with this delinquent.”

  “I’m not afraid of you,” Shep snarled playfully after she’d gone. “The only way you’ll get my Goobers is to pry them out of my cold, dead hands.”

  “I could cut your hands off too!”

  His eyes grew wide. “That’s very cruel.”

  “So is faking a heart attack, and nearly giving both of us one. What the hell were you thinking?” She scooted a chair close and sat down, blatantly propping her bare feet on his bed. “You okay with Joy and me?”

  “Sure, why not? You’re okay for a hillbilly. Just don’t go screwing it up. And if you don’t know what that means, you’d better find out quick. Joy doesn’t need that kind of shit. She’s a good girl.”

  “I know that. She’s the best person I’ve ever been with in my whole life.” With their secret out in the open, she felt brave enough to share the fears that had been building all day. “What about Madison? You reckon she’s going to be okay with it?”

  “She’s a smart one. Don’t think you’ll be sneaking anything by her because she’ll be on to you.”

  “I won’t be sneaking around. I just want her to like me. If she doesn’t, then I’m screwed, because I can see what she means to Joy, and to you too.”

  “Just be yourself, Amber. Kids see right through phony shit, which is probably why she’s acting out around Syd’s boyfriend. She’ll probably be jealous because she’s used to being the center of attention around here. You’ll have to give a little because you’re the grownup.”

  She was willing to give a little, as long as she wasn’t the one turning invisible.

  He tipped his head toward Skippy. “And don’t forget it’s always good to have a little bacon in your pocket.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  With a creamy, sweet latte in hand, Joy entered the lobby of the mostly empty office building. A quick check of the directory by the elevator confirmed she was in the right place. There on the third floor was the person she was to meet: Lynne Pierce, Esquire.

  Eschewing the elevator for two flights of steps, she found the door slightly ajar and let herself in. “It’s Joy Shepard. Anyone home?”

  “Confounded piece of worthless junk!” The invective was followed by what sounded like a kick to an inanimate object.

  Joy followed the booming female voice to a room off the reception area where a round-figured woman of about sixty was doing battle with a copy machine. “Lynne Pierce?”

  The woman turned, and in that moment, her scowl disappeared, replaced by a smile. Short gray hair and wire-rimmed glasses framed her face, and she was dressed casually in a tropical shirt with Capri pants and sandals. “You have any trouble finding the place?”

  “No, the directions were good. Thanks for seeing me this morning. I couldn’t get here from California until late last night.”

  “No problem.” She shuffled down the short hallway to an office. Judging by the books, papers and sticky notes in virtually every corner of the room, she was juggling a number of different cases.

  “So, Ms. Pierce…did you have time to look over my questions?”

  “Call me Lynne, please. And yes, I did. Dani Hatcher is the squeakiest wheel I’ve ever met. If I ever need someone to cut through the noise and get something done, I’m going straight to her.” She hoisted a stack of books and documents and let them drop noisily onto the edge of her desk. “I retrieved a copy of Carrie Larson’s will from the courthouse, and it looks pretty clear that she intended for both of you to be Madison’s guardians.”

  “We were in a relationship back then.”

  “True, but with you going back to California, I think Ms. Koehler could make a pretty good case that you’re the one who abandoned your responsibilities.”

  “That’s not what happened,” Joy blustered. “I only left Newport News because I needed to help take care of my mom. I would’ve come back after she died but Syd had already asked to start adoption proceedings because she was getting married. Supposedly this guy adored Madison. I hated the idea of giving her up but I wanted what was best for her, and I thought that was a family. No matter what, Syd can’t say I haven’t been responsible because I’ve sent money every single month for her support, and I see her at least three or four times a year.”

  “Interesting. Did you know Syd was also collecting survivor benefits from the navy for Madison? That might explain why she hasn’t gone through with the adoption. Those would have stopped.”

  Typical Syd—everything to her advantage.

  “Did you ever sign any papers giving up guardianship?”

  Joy shook her head emphatically. “Nothing. She told me after her divorce that her ex-husband’s part of the adoption was never finalized, but she didn’t say anything about her own. I always assumed it went through, but evidently that was just a con so I’d think she had all the power to make decisions about Madison.”

  “Possibly. Carrie’s will was all I turned up that was registered in the State of Virginia. If she ever filled out any adoption papers, they never got filed, which means they’re worthless. Besides, nothing would have gone through without you surrendering guardianship.”

  She was impressed that Lynne had done so much homework on her case in such a short period of time. “Are you saying she couldn’t have adopted Madison without my permission?”

  “Correct. A legal guardian either has to surrender rights or have them terminated by a court.”

  In other words, her own plans for adopting Madison were pipe dreams because Syd would never sign over guardianship. “So there’s really nothing I can do to get Madison.”

  “I wouldn’t say that at all.” Lynne stretched her arms above her head, leaning back so far in her chair that Joy feared she would fall over. “Adoption could be tricky, but you have just as much right to physical custody of Madison as she does. What works against us is the fact that Ms. Koehler could make a very strong argument for the least disruptive outcome, which means Madison staying with her here in Virginia.”

  “That’s just it, though. Syd isn’t planning to stay here. She wants to go to Italy with her new boyfriend, and Madison’s become an inconvenient obstacle…for now, anyway.”

  Lynne plopped a fresh yellow legal pad on her desk and began scribbling. “Tell me all you know about that.”

  Joy related the story of Mitch getting transferred to Naples and Syd’s hopes of getting married someday, complete with his reservations about Madison. “I don’t want Madison’s future hanging on whatever this Mitch guy wants. All I know about him is that he plays violent video games and doesn’t seem to want anything to do with her, and both of those make him a loser as far as I’m concerned. And I damn sure don’t want Madison ripped away from me a year or two from now whenever Syd waltzes back into town after getting dumped. Madison needs a permanent home where somebody will always be there for her. I think that’s with me, not Syd.”

  “What if Syd changes her mind and decides to stay here with Madison?”

  “Yeah, I’ve thought about that.” It was tempting just to go along quietly with Syd’s current plan, since it would mean Madison could leave with her tonight. At the very least, they’d get maybe a year together, and she could always refuse to relinquish custody. “The problem is that it’ll happen again with the next boyfriend and the one after that. She may not try to leave Madison with somebody else, but she’ll push her off to the side just like she’s doing now, and probably punish her if she tells anybody her mommy used to have a girlfriend.”

  Lynne shoved the books aside and leaned back again, folding her arms. Then a s
low grin crossed her face. “Maybe we can use some of that paranoia to our advantage.”

  * * *

  Joy wound through the residential neighborhood, checking to make sure Lynne’s tan Chevy Malibu was behind her. Though all the streets looked alike, she knew the neighborhood like the back of her hand from her years sharing this house with Syd. She parked her rental car at the curb, leaving enough room for Lynne’s sedan behind her.

  The attorney had made a quick stop at her home to change into a smart business suit. She was here to make a forceful impression.

  “You really think this is going to work?” Joy asked.

  “What have you got to lose? You’re going to file for adoption anyway, right? From what you’ve told me about this woman, she makes critical decisions on the spur of the moment, and she puts her own needs first. The only way she can do that today is to sign this guardianship release form. Anything else means we go to court for a long, long time. Leaving the country with her boyfriend won’t be an option, and her life as a lesbian will be an open book.”

  “Couldn’t she argue later that she signed under duress?”

  “Perhaps. But after today Madison will be with you in California and the burden will be on her to file suit out there. I’m betting she won’t bother to do that.”

  Joy wished she shared the attorney’s confidence, but Syd was so impulsive there was no way to predict what she would do. It wouldn’t surprise Joy at all to learn she’d had a fight with Mitch in the last two days and changed her mind about the whole thing. What Joy had going for her was the determination to see this all the way through. If Syd were actually willing to fight this out, it meant Madison was more important to her than Joy thought. At least that would be good for Madison, and it would put an end once and for all to Syd’s shameful denial. Whatever the outcome, Joy was prepared to exercise more authority over decisions about Madison’s upbringing.

  Syd met them on the porch. Her dark hair had grown and she looked as if she’d started working out again. She was a slave to whatever man she was trying to impress, so it was easy to deduce that Mitch liked physically fit women with long hair. Nothing about her stirred even the slightest spark of interest for Joy. Mitch could have her.

  With a suspicious glance toward Lynne, Syd said, “Madison’s over at Tara’s. She doesn’t know anything about this yet. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

  Surprise, nothing, Joy thought. Syd’s intent was to orchestrate the transfer in a way that minimized the amount of time she actually had to confront the consequences.

  “Syd, I’d like you to meet Lynne Pierce. She’s my attorney and she’s brought some papers for you to sign.”

  “I don’t really think any of that’s necessary. Like I told you on the phone, the papers Carrie signed gave both of us guardianship.”

  “Precisely,” Lynne said. “These papers would relinquish yours. My client, Ms. Shepard, wants to formally adopt Madison, and having you sign a release would make it a speedier process.”

  Syd’s mouth dropped open in shock as she looked from one to the other. “Forget it. I never said I was giving her up permanently. It’s only until I get settled with Mitch.”

  Joy felt her jaw twitching with anger and she took an even breath to steady herself. “No dice, Syd. Madison isn’t some puppy you can send out to the kennel while you work things out with your boyfriend. If you want her, you’re going to have to fight for her right now. I have as much legal right to her as you do, and I can’t wait to tell the judge that you tried to palm her off so you could go to Italy with Mitch.”

  Lynne reached into her briefcase and extracted a stack of papers. “Ms. Shepard wants Madison to have a permanent home and stable family. In accordance with her rights as legal guardian, she’ll be filing for adoption immediately. If you wish to contest that, you’ll need to be present for court hearings.”

  “You goddamn bitch!” Syd was shaking with fury. “This isn’t even about Madison at all. It’s about you getting back at me for leaving because you can’t accept the fact that I’m not like you.”

  “This has nothing to do with your prior…lesbian…relationship,” Lynne said, her halting cadence suggesting deliberate antagonism. “It’s about what’s best for a nine-year-old girl.”

  “And what’s best is putting her needs in front of yours for a change,” Joy added.

  “How dare you!” Syd seethed. “I love Madison and you damn well know it. I’m the one who took care of her when she was barely out of diapers and you were out to sea half the time. If you cared as much as I did, you would have left the navy for her instead of waiting for your mother to get sick.”

  The accusation stung, but Joy had grown up in a navy family and knew it was possible to be both a parent and a sailor. Besides, she didn’t have those obligations anymore. “Madison always knew where I was and why. What are you going to tell her about why she can’t come to Italy? Some lie about how you’re going over there first to get settled? She’s not stupid. Sign the papers and let’s make her feel good about this.”

  Syd was clearly struggling with the immediacy of Joy’s demands, just as Lynne had predicted she would. Missing out on the glamour of moving to Italy was a steep price indeed. With her lower lip quivering, she looked over the release form. “If I sign this, will I still get to see her? I want holidays and vacations like you have now.”

  “It’s not a joint custody agreement,” Lynne clarified. “It’s a release.”

  “I want her to be my daughter, Syd…my family. I won’t do anything to discourage her visiting you if that’s what she wants, but she deserves to belong somewhere. You had your chance to adopt her and you didn’t follow through. You should ask yourself why.”

  Lynne tugged on Joy’s sleeve. “I told you it was a long shot. We need to get back to my office and finish the paperwork to contest guardianship before you have to catch your plane. I want to file first thing in the morning.”

  Those were the magic words and Syd angrily scratched her signature across the bottom of the form. “You’re despicable, Joy Shepard. I hope you rot in hell.”

  There was no way to feel good about what she’d just done. Nonetheless, it was all Joy could do not to smile.

  * * *

  As the events of the past few days filled her thoughts, Joy couldn’t muster an ounce of regret for the heavy-handed way she’d handled Syd. For four years, she’d tiptoed around her ex’s bad moods and petty grievances, thinking she had no power to assert her guardian rights. It didn’t bother her one bit to see the shoe on the other foot now, and for real this time. It was a long, complicated process to finalize the adoption, but at least the path was clear.

  The moment Syd signed the papers, Joy’s suspicions about her ambivalence toward Madison were confirmed. Syd loved her, but not enough to sacrifice her own dreams for a glamorous life as the wife of a navy officer. If she and Mitch got married, which was probably more likely now, Madison might drop off her radar altogether, especially if they had children of their own.

  “What time is it?” Madison mumbled as she raised her head from Joy’s lap.

  “Eight twenty-seven Pacific Time.” Joy had been tracking their descent for the last twenty minutes and estimated they were only minutes from final approach into Oakland International Airport.

  Madison had duly cried when they left the home she’d known for the last six years, but her tears stopped before they ever made it out of the neighborhood. Since then she’d been giddy with excitement about getting back to Oakland and her Grandpa Shep. Without any prompting at all, she’d vowed to make the honor roll and keep her room clean, causing Joy to wonder if Syd had threatened before to send her away.

  None of that mattered now. Madison was never going to feel unwanted again.

  “Sit up a minute. I want to talk to you about something.” The cabin lights were dim but she could see that Madison was listening. “You okay about what happened today?”

  She nodded. “I guess.”

  The
story she and Syd had agreed to share was that her real mother had intended for both of them to be her guardians. Now that Mitch was going overseas, Joy had insisted it was her turn to care for Madison, and Syd had reluctantly agreed. That way Madison felt loved by both, and she was clearly ecstatic to move to California.

  “Remember when I told you about Amber, the woman who’s taking care of Grandpa Shep? You said I should get her to be my girlfriend, so guess what?”

  “But you don’t need a girlfriend now. I want you to be with me.”

  “I will be, and so will she. She’s excited about meeting you. I’ve told her all about your kooky songs and games. She’s as silly as you sometimes.”

  By the crease on her forehead, Madison was far from enthusiastic about the news. If anything, she was distressed, and Joy thought she knew why.

  “Sweetie, I know Syd spent a lot of time with Mitch and sometimes you felt left out. That’s normal for adults and I know it’s hard to understand. But it isn’t going to happen with Amber and me. You’re number one, kiddo, and we all want to spend time with you.”

  “I want to sleep in the camper with you.”

  “No, I have to get up too early. If I wake you up, you’ll fall asleep during your math class.”

  “I fall asleep then anyway,” she said with a grin.

  Joy tousled her hair and guided her head back into her lap as the landing gear dropped. She had some mild concerns about their unconventional household, but not about her ability to be a good parent.

  Amber had proven her knack for adapting to just about anything, so Joy was confident she would work out her relationship with Madison. They might even bond over having to do homework together in the afternoons, and they’d certainly join forces to tease her father. Once Madison moved into the bedroom, Joy would have Amber to herself all night, every night. Not a bad arrangement, though it was time to consider building on an extra bedroom—a big one with a private bath and walk-in closets.

  Though it all seemed to be falling into place, she didn’t want to get ahead of herself. Bringing a nine-year-old into the home wasn’t the ideal way to start a romantic relationship that she hoped would last, but Joy had faith they could work it out.