Heart Doctor
Page 4
Lex shifts in his seat, and I turn toward him. He rolls his eyes, as if he knows what I’m thinking, as if he can still read my mind after we’ve been apart for fifteen years. “I’m sorry,” he mouths the words, but I shake my head firmly.
I place the stethoscope back around my neck, and move to a chair near the exam table, so that I can look at Mrs. Astor as I ask some questions.
“Mrs. Astor, I…”
“Please, call me Vivienne,” she offers, demurely.
I feel my eyebrows rise, even though I try to show no emotions. “Vivienne,” I say, right before I bite my bottom lip. “All of your tests look terrific. Your vitals are as good as a woman half your age. Your heart sounds strong.”
“See, Mother, I told you…” Lex begins, but I give him a withering look and he stops.
“When do you have chest pains?” I ask, and gaze right into her grey eyes.
She looks unsure of how to answer. “The times of day vary. Sometimes I have them in the morning, and sometimes in the evening.”
I nod, and look again at her file as I continue, “Do you have the pains under stressful situations?”
“I do not have anxiety,” she replies stiffly.
“See,” Lex begins to speak again, but I stop him with a glance.
“Where are the pains? Show me,” I order.
She looks confused again. She places her hand over the center of her chest, and says, “Here”.
“Thank you,” I say, as I close the folder. “Everything looks fine, Mrs. Astor. Your doctors have done an excellent job so far. I would suggest you continue to…”
“That is exactly what I…” Lex interrupts me.
“Silence, Alexander,” his mother snaps. Then she turns toward him. “Would you go and fetch me a bottle of water from Olivia’s assistant?” she orders.
“Of course,” he replies, with a frown. When he walks in front of me I get another whiff of his incredible cologne. Somehow I manage to keep my eyes on Mrs. Astor, and not follow him with my gaze toward the door.
“I’m not faking my illness to get attention from my son,” she assures me.
I again bite my bottom lip. Do I act like I know the family, because I do but it’s been so long? Or do I remain the aloof doctor? I’m in a position I never intended to be in, and I do not like it.
“India has decided to take up art, and is living in Paris. Evangeline is married, has four children, and is living in San Francisco with her husband, who is a new money, dot com billionaire,” she informs me, as if she can see in my eyes what I’m thinking. Just like her son.
“Perhaps you should spend some time in San Francisco. It’s amazing what the Pacific can do for one’s mood.” I try not to snap, but I can’t help it. I soften my tone as I continue, “And grandchildren can do a world of good for their grandparents. Studies show that…”
“Yes, and I’ve told Alexander that. He is the one who must carry on the family name, but he refuses. He says he will not have children.” I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I remember Lex wanting children. What did he say? He wanted me to have his babies. He wanted to see me pregnant with his child. I bite my bottom lip hard, bringing myself back to the present.
“The annual Astor Foundation charity auction and gala will happen Saturday. Last year we raised almost three million dollars, and the charity we chose to gift the proceeds to has just been downgraded.” She holds my gaze, and says, “We are expecting an even bigger turnout this year. I will donate all of the money to the veterans’ psychiatric charity you’re so fond of, if you continue to perform tests on me until you deduce what’s wrong with me.”
My heart skips a beat. That cause is so close to my heart because my father committed suicide when I was just a child, because of issues that stemmed from his service in the military. Now she’s put me in a real predicament. It would almost be unethical to run tests on someone I feel is healthy. But the charity could really use the money. I jump when I hear a knock on the door. Mrs. Astor smiles brightly at my reaction, as she’s putting her blazer back on. The door opens, and Lex enters. I smell his scent again, and it’s almost like a punch in the stomach.
His mother is trying to manipulate me for some reason. I really don’t like it.
“Olivia has changed her mind, and decided that more tests are in order, haven’t you?” she prompts, when Lex hands her the bottle of water.
“How in the world did you manage that?” Lex asks, with a sharper tone than I’d expect.
“She’s also decided to grace us with her presence at the gala on Saturday, haven’t you, dear?” She smiles at me warmly.
“Yes, I have,” I reply, and try not to frown.
What in the fucking hell have I got myself into, again?
Damn Astors. They can both take a flying leap.
But I put on a smile, as I walk them out into the waiting room. “I’m sure Ella and your secretary can arrange your next appointment,” I say, as I glance past them and see Evander White sitting in a chair in the lobby, thumbing through a women’s magazine.
He glances up when he hears my voice, and smiles when he sees me. Alexander frowns again, but says nothing.
“Have a good day,” I say, as he opens the door for his mother.
“You too, dear,” Mrs. Astor calls out, before the door closes behind them.
Chapter Five
May 12, 2001
“There,” I gasp, as he tugs at the hem of my dress. He’s touching the spot right over my hip bone, right above the line of my blue cotton panties.
“Here?” he murmurs, and brushes his fingers over it gently.
I love it when we play this game. He wants to know every spot that feels good, that tingles when he touches it. Not the obvious ones, those have already been discovered. But the last time we played the game, he found that the small of my back is super sensitive, and that he could make me have an orgasm from him touching it and kissing it.
“Yesss…” I exhale loudly.
“Right here?” he asks, as he leans forward, and kisses the spot.
“Umhmmmm…” I sigh, and he sucks the spot into his mouth. I cry out, and bury my fingers into his dark curls to pull him away. But he chuckles deep in his throat, and sucks harder. “Stop! You’re gonna leave a mark!”
His green eyes find mine, as I’m watching what he’s doing with fascination. His mouth moves away with a loud pop. “Why does that matter? No one’s gonna see it but me!” he exclaims, angrily.
My eyes go wide when he says it. That’s not what I meant. I don’t even know what I meant.
He pulls on my cheap cotton panties until I hear them rip. And in one quick, athletic move he’s inside me. I cry out again, from the pressure and friction. It hurts a little. He always makes sure I’m ready before he enters me, until right now.
He grabs at my thighs roughly, until he’s got my knees up around his chest. I feel his pelvis dig into my skin. He’s so deep inside me, I feel him rubbing against that spot that usually makes me explode. I inhale sharply, and open my mouth to ask him to stop.
But what I find staring back at me silences me. He’s wearing a scowl, and his green eyes are wider than I’ve ever seen them. He’s angry, and I have no idea why.
“No one is ever going to touch you again, Liv. No one is ever going to see you naked. Do you understand me?” His voice is a deep, harsh growl that I’ve never heard before.
I reach out and place my hands on his wide chest, to push him away. I take a deep breath, and he pauses. “Yes,” I reply. “Yes, Lex. I understand.”
“I’ll put marks on you wherever I want,” he says, but the anger is gone. He closes his eyes, and leans forward to kiss my lips. “I love you, Liv. You are mine.”
“I love you too, Lex,” I whisper against his mouth.
Then he kisses me. He relaxes his grasp on my thighs, and moves his fingertips up to find that spot again. He touches it gently, and kisses me lovingly. He is again my loving, caring Lex.
He grunts into my mouth, and pulls away to look into my eyes. “Come with me, Liv. Come, now.”
But I can’t. I’m not ready. “Not yet.”
He takes a deep breath, and holds it, and tries to slow down. But after a few minutes, he begins to pant. “I’m coming,” he groans. He looks into my eyes as he finds his orgasm inside me. “I’m sorry,” he says, as he rolls over onto his back.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him angry. It’s also the first time I’ve seen him jealous.
“What just happened?” I ask, as I move into his huge body.
“It’s not you, sweetheart. It’s me. I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and turns his head to look at me. “I shouldn’t have done that. I know you’re not going to cheat on me. But my last girlfriend…” He becomes quiet then. He doesn’t want to talk about another girl, and I don’t want to hear it. He pushes my hair out of my face. “I love you, Liv. And I know you love me. We’re going to get married, and the rest of our lives together is going to be perfect. You’re my fairy tale princess, you’re my dream come true, and I’m going to spend the rest of my life proving it to you. I promise.”
I give him a wry smile. “I believe you.”
That’s when I hear a knock on the door, and he groans and shakes his head. “My mother was supposed to stop by.” He rolls over to one side of the bed, and I move to the other.
“You get the door, I need to go to the bathroom,” I say. “I might need to change clothes.”
He chuckles, and kisses my forehead. “I love you Liv.”
While I’m changing clothes, I hear them arguing in the other room. They aren’t yelling, their voices are contained, but I can tell they are fighting. As I exit our bedroom, I find Lex pacing the floor, and his mother sitting ramrod straight on our comfy sofa.
I smile at her brightly. “Have you offered your mother a drink, Lex?” I ask, as I step toward him. He returns my smile, and moves closer to me.
“Show Mother your ring, Liv,” he encourages. “I just announced our engagement, and our wedding plans.”
I join her on the couch, and offer her my left hand. “How dainty,” his mother remarks. I know it’s small, but I would have expected more happiness, maybe, or excitement. Then I notice that they are staring at each other, glaring really, and I realize this is what they’ve been arguing over.
“Liv will be graduating first in her class next weekend. We’ll be here until then. Next Monday, we’ll be on our way to Las Vegas.” He seems so proud, and happy. I never thought in a million years that I’d find someone like Lex, who is as happy to be with me as I am to be with him.
“And then I’ll be attending Icahn in the fall, hopefully. I applied last week. I mean, I was accepted at Harvard, Icahn should accept me. Maybe they’ll offer me an attractive scholarship.” I grin proudly, and steal a glance at his mom.
She looks shocked for a moment, before she composes herself. “You were accepted at Harvard? You must be proud.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I agree.
“I would like a cup of tea,” she says. I jump immediately, and make my way toward the kitchen. I hear them whispering as I close the door. Damn it, what did I say that was wrong? Certainly I’m allowed to be proud that I made it into Harvard, shouldn’t I? It seems like whatever I did, it wasn’t right. Fuck.
May 12, 2016
“Let’s grab lunch. What are you in the mood for?” Evander asks, after the Astors have left the room.
“I don’t do lunch,” I say coolly. Then I open Ella’s window, and ask, “When is my next appointment?”
“You have rounds starting at one, then a patient at two-thirty,” she says, and glances at Evander. “I tried to get rid of him, but he wanted to wait,” she whispers.
“It’s okay. You’re fine, Ella,” I assure her. “Would you mind grabbing my purse, and my jacket?” I ask. She nods, and hurries toward my office. Then, I turn toward Evander. “I’m sorry, Evander. I thought I made it clear. I don’t have boyfriends. I don’t date. I have sexual partners, and nothing more. If you can’t, or won’t, agree to that, I’m afraid we won’t be able to see each other again.” I should have learned my lesson by now. But damn, he was just too tempting to say no to.
Ella brings my things, and gives me a weak smile. I nod to her, trying to make sure she knows it’s all okay, before turning back to Evander. “I’m headed out to lunch now,” I inform him, as I exit the waiting room. I have my own exit from my office, but fuck it. I want him to watch me leave and understand that I am going to eat lunch alone, because that’s how I like to eat. And sleep. And do most everything, except orgasm. I hate doing that alone.
Evander follows me out the door, and asks, “What is wrong with you? Why are you like this? Why can’t you enjoy being with someone else like a normal human?”
I don’t answer him. I just wait on the elevator. And he steps inside with me. We’re not alone in there, because it’s lunch time. I don’t understand why he’s following me. It’s not going to get him anywhere. He’s not getting in my car, that’s for damn sure.
But after I exit the elevator to the doctors’ parking deck, we’re alone again. He grabs my hand, and tries to stop me. “Olivia, why won’t you answer me?” he demands.
That’s when I notice Lex Astor casually leaning against my bright blue Corvette. He turns toward me, and I close my eyes for some reason, as if that would make him go away. “I have answered you, Evander. Just because you didn’t like it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t an answer.”
That’s when I hear Lex walking up behind me. “Is this man bothering you, Liv?”
“Liv?” Evander asks, and tries to look tough as he turns his body toward Lex. He’s shocked, and I don’t know why. We’ve had sex twice. It doesn’t give him a right to act like I’m his girlfriend. “Is this your boyfriend, Olivia?”
“I don’t do boyfriends. I’m a thirty-seven year old woman, not a twelve year old girl.” I raise my voice just enough so that he knows I’m more than serious this time. I meet Evander’s eyes, and glare at him, before striding toward my car.
Lex follows me, and as soon as I touch the door he opens the passenger door and slides in with me.
Instead of arguing with him, I start the car and put it in drive. “Is there somewhere I can take you this afternoon, Mr. Astor?” I ask, in my most clinical voice.
“Yes, somewhere quiet where we can talk,” he says confidently.
I turn down the volume on the satellite radio, and say, “Talk.”
“Why did you agree to my mother’s request for more tests? You know that she is healthy, and yet you agreed with her. Are you trying to milk her for the insurance payments?” I don’t look at him, because I’m driving. But I can tell from his tone that he is seriously asking me that question.
I shake my head. I consider telling him. Sure, why not. What would it hurt? What can he do about it? I look straight forward, and tell him. “Your mother said the Astor Foundation’s chosen charity had been downgraded by Charity Watch, and disqualified from receiving the proceeds from the annual gala. She said that if I run the battery of test on her, she’d dedicate the money to the charity of my choice.”
He sighs loudly. “She’s completely lost her fucking mind. She can’t just arbitrarily decide where the money goes. There is a board of directors.”
“I don’t care. I won’t do the tests then. No harm, no foul.” I shrug it off as if it’s nothing. It’s not like I have no experience with the Astors building up my hopes, and knocking them down.
“And you’re coming to the gala Saturday?” he continues. I see a familiar shopping center up ahead on the right, which looks like a good place to drop off my unwanted passenger. So I turn on my blinker, make the turn, and pull into a parking spot at the very end of the lot near the main street.
He waits for several moments for me to turn off the c
ar, and when I don’t he begins to look around. “What are we doing here?” he asks, as he stares at a dollar store across the lot. That’s right, Lex Astor has probably never been in one of those stores before.
“I’m letting you out here.” He turns to stare at me, as if I’m the crazy one. “You chose to get in my car without an invitation. That means I get to choose where I drop you off.” His eyes have taken on a new look of anger, one that I’ve never seen before. They are practically glowing. “You have a cell phone, you can call your limo driver, or an Uber, or whatever.”
“Are you serious?” he has the nerve to ask. “You’re just going to leave me at a Dollar Mart?”
“I’ll be nice and let you call your ride,” I offer.
“The limo is Mother’s.” His voice is rough.
“I need to be back at the hospital by one, and I have to eat lunch,” I inform him.
“I’ll take you to lunch,” he offers. “We need to talk.”
“We’ve talked. You accused me of fraud,” I remind him.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Liv,” he counters.
I turn to look at him. That was a huge mistake. He’s staring right at me, with those big, clear green eyes. He is so incredibly good looking. And he smells amazing. And I want him. Since he came by my office almost two weeks ago, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. That’s why I stopped seeing Paul, but it’s also why I started seeing Evander. I needed something, or more specifically someone, to fill this void, to soothe the ache, that I’ve been feeling for the last two weeks.
That’s not true. I’ve felt these feelings for fifteen years. And I’m reminded of every single lonely year I spent without him when I look at him.
“How did you mean it?” I still can’t say his name. He says Liv so easily, as if the last fifteen years haven’t passed. As if we could go back to his apartment in Charlottesville, and climb back into his bed. My muscles contract just thinking about it.
His pupils dilate. His lips part. Does he feel what I’m feeling?