Breaking Alexandria

by K. A. Robinson

  I nodded. “It was. The other field is almost overgrown, so we won’t have to worry about them for a while.”

  “Good. So, what are you up to tonight?”

  Ever since that night with Joel, Gram would constantly try to get me to do things besides sit in my room all night.

  “I’m going out with Landon. We’re going muddin’ on his dad’s four-wheeler.”

  I thought her face might split in two from the grin she was giving me.

  “That’s great!”

  “We’ll see. I’m not sure if I’ll like it or not. Plus, four-wheelers still make me nervous.”

  “You have nothing to be nervous about. Landon will watch out for you.”

  “I know. They still make me nervous though.”

  “So, how are things between you and Landon?” Her tone was light, but her eyes were sharp as she waited for me to answer.

  “Um…good. Why?”

  “I just wondered…well, never mind. It’s none of my business.”

  “Gram, what are you trying to say?”

  She smiled. “I see the way that boy looks at you. I was just curious as to whether or not you noticed.”

  I stared down at my plate to avoid looking at her. “I’ve noticed.”

  “But you don’t feel the same way?”

  “I…ugh. I like him, and we’ve ended up being really good friends, but I’m not interested in being with anyone. I couldn’t handle feeling the way I felt when Joel broke me ever again.”

  “Oh, Alexandria, you can’t let what happened control you. Landon is nothing like Joel.”

  “I know that, but I’m not ready to get hurt again. Besides, I’ll be leaving next month. There’s no point in starting something that can never go anywhere.”

  “Life is a funny thing. You never know what’s going to happen. My honest opinion is that if you like Landon, don’t let anything hold you back. You’re a good girl, and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let the past control you.”

  I pushed my plate away and stood up. “I’m going to go shower before he shows up. I smell like a cow.”

  I hurried from the room before she could say anything else. I didn’t want to think about Landon that way. I wanted a friend who I could depend on and nothing more. I couldn’t handle anything else. I just had to keep ignoring how I felt about him. I could do that for a little while longer.

  I got ready and then headed back downstairs. Just as I was pulling on my boots, I heard a four-wheeler approaching the house. I took a deep breath, pushing the conversation with my grandmother away, and I stepped outside. Landon looked like a country god. He was sitting there with his cowboy boots, blue jeans, and his plain shirt that was tight enough to see every muscle he had. I focused on the ground instead of him as I walked over.

  “Hey! You ready?” he asked.

  I glanced up to see him smiling at me. “Yeah, I guess. I’m still nervous.”

  “Don’t be. You’re going to have fun, I promise.”

  He scooted forward, so I could climb on behind him. Gram’s words were still running through my head, making me feel awkward and unsure, as I wrapped my arms around his stomach. He turned the four-wheeler around and tore down the driveway, going faster than he ever had before. Apparently, Landon was all about getting me to loosen up tonight if his speed was any indication. We reached the main road in minutes, and he turned left toward Hundred. I knew it was against the law to ride a four-wheeler on the main road, but I doubted if anyone cared around here.

  We stayed on Route 7 for a few miles before turning onto another road. Truthfully, it was more of a four-wheeler path than an actual road. Tree limbs brushed against us from both sides as Landon drove down the trail. We arrived at the edge of a clearing, and I noticed two other four-wheelers with a guy on each of them. Landon pulled up next to them and shut the four-wheeler off.

  “What’s up, guys?” he asked.

  Both guys were staring at me. I tried not to notice as I relaxed my grip on Landon.

  “Not much. I just got here a minute ago,” one of them said.

  He was huge, even sitting down. His hair was cut short enough that it looked like he’d shaved it off. The other guy was smaller. He was more around Landon’s size. He had a blond ponytail hanging out of the back of a baseball cap. Both guys were good-looking. Apparently, farm looked good on these guys.

  “I figured we could ride for a few hours until it’s too dark to see,” Landon said.

  “Sounds good. I drove out a few minutes before Jackson got here. It’s a swamp.” The smaller guy glanced over at me. “I’m Will, and this giant over here is Jackson.”

  “Alexandria,” I said as I smiled at him.

  “That’s a long-ass name,” Jackson said as he smiled over at me.

  “You can call me Lexi if you want.”

  He nodded as he turned back to Landon. “Let’s go.”

  All three of them started their four-wheelers at once, and then we all tore down the field. I clung to Landon as the four-wheeler went over small mud holes and ruts. We made it halfway across the field before they stopped again. I winced when I saw the mud hole in front of us. It really was a swamp from all the rain.

  “We’re going through that?” I asked.

  “Yeah. That’s the point of muddin’—you get muddy,” Landon joked.

  “What if we get stuck? It looks deep.”

  He shrugged. “If we do, one of these guys will pull us out.”

  “Good thing I wore my mud boots,” I grumbled.

  Landon laughed as Will turned his four-wheeler around and headed back the way we’d come.

  “Mud boots aren’t going to help you today.” Landon said.

  “Where is he going?” I asked as I watched Will.

  “He’s going to get a running start before he goes in, so he doesn’t get stuck. Just watch.”

  I watched as Will turned and headed back toward us, going way faster than before. I held my breath as he came up on the mud hole. He didn’t slow as he began to plow through it. Mud flew everywhere as his wheels spun. I shrieked when some of it landed on us, but Landon just laughed. Will almost got stuck in the middle, but he finally got enough traction to get the rest of the way through. I couldn’t help but laugh as he exited on the other side. The boy was covered in mud from head to toe. He drove back around the mud hole and stopped between Jackson and us.

  “That was fun. Watch the center. It’s really mushy,” Will said.

  “My turn,” Jackson said.

  He took off down the field like Will had. Jackson flew back down the field to us, and then he dived into the mud. He got stuck almost instantly, and I could hear him cussing as he gunned the throttle. He finally broke free and gave it hell as he tried to make it the rest of the way. When he reached the other side, he looked as muddy as Will.

  “You ready?” Landon asked as he glanced over his shoulder at me.

  “I guess.” I wasn’t used to stuff like this, and it made me nervous.

  No one played in the mud for a good time back home. We would get drunk and high. This was a whole different world from what I was used to.

  “Hold on to me tight. I don’t want you to fall off in the middle of the pit,” Landon said as he drove across the field.

  I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could. I tried not to notice how my breasts crushed against his hard back or how my legs wound around his, pushing my core against his backside. Suddenly, the night felt too hot.

  Landon turned the four-wheeler around and tore down the field. I held my breath as we approached the mud. He didn’t slow down when we reached it. We dived in, slowing down drastically as the mud tried to hold on to us. The jolt from slowing down so fast would have knocked me off if I hadn’t been clinging to him like a monkey. Landon gunned the engine and plowed through it. We slid to the left and then the right, but we didn’t get stuck. Mud flew everywhere, covering my boots and legs.

  When we reached the center, the water flew with the mud, and
I was soaked from head to toe. I hid my face in Landon’s back, trying to keep it from getting covered, and then we made it to the other side finally. I glanced over Landon’s shoulder as we drove back to Will and Jackson. They both laughed at me before turning back down the field. I watched with my mouth hanging open as they hit the mud at the same time. I could barely see Will on the other side of Jackson. The mud and water flying through the air was too thick.

  “So, what do you think?” Landon asked as he looked back at me.

  I laughed when I saw his face. He was completely covered in mud.

  “I think you need a bath.”

  “You don’t look much better,” he pointed out.

  I glanced down to see that there wasn’t an inch of me that wasn’t covered in mud, and I laughed again. “Good point. It was…it was fun and different. I never thought I’d be playing in the mud for fun.”

  “Want to drive next time?” he asked, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

  “I don’t think so. I feel safer riding back here,” I told him truthfully.

  “Me, too. Besides, I like when you hold on to me like that. Let’s go again.”

  I stayed silent as he took off down the field again.

  We spent the rest of the evening going through the mud over and over again. Jackson got stuck once. Will tied a rope to both four-wheelers and pulled Jackson until he could get traction.

  By the time we called it quits, there wasn’t an inch of us or the four-wheelers not covered in mud. It was going to take me an hour to get the mud out of my hair. Gram would probably shoot me when she saw my clothes. I’d probably have to strip down to my undies on the porch.

  We talked with the guys for a few minutes after we finished. I learned that they had both graduated the same year as Landon. After high school, instead of going away to college, they’d both stuck around to help their parents out on their own family farms. That surprised me. My mom and dad were always pushing me to go to college, but their parents hadn’t seemed worried about it. They had been fine with their children sticking around here to help out since they would eventually take over the farms. The guys waved good night, and then they started their four-wheelers and headed home.

  Landon turned to me. “You want to head home?”

  “Not yet—unless you do.”

  “It’s fine. What do you want to do? We can’t exactly go anywhere looking like this.”

  I looked up to the sky above us. “I just want to look at the stars again.”

  He climbed off the four-wheeler and held out his hand to help me. “We can lie in the field. I don’t have anything to lie on, but I doubt if you’re worried about getting dirty.”

  “Yeah, I think it’s a little late for that,” I said as we walked between the four-wheeler and the mud hole.

  I grinned as a thought struck me. Without warning, I shoved Landon hard, and he fell into the mud hole. He grabbed my hand at the last second, and I went tumbling in with him.

  “What was that for?” he shouted as he laughed.

  “I felt like it,” I said as I tried to stand.

  Landon grabbed me and pulled me back so that I was sitting in the gooey mud. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Me falling in wasn’t part of my plan. I’m trying to escape.”

  “Well, too bad.”

  He grabbed a handful of mud and threw it at me. It hit me in the chest and fell down into my lap. I picked it back up and tossed it at him. When it landed on top of his head, I laughed so hard that I almost started crying.

  We continued to throw mud balls at each other, and I shrieked while he laughed. By the time we crawled back onto solid ground, we both had mud falling off of us in chunks. I felt gross as I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars above us. Landon collapsed next to me. Neither of us spoke. We just enjoyed each other’s company.

  A cloud blocked the moon, throwing us into almost complete darkness.

  I couldn’t deny that tonight had been fun despite my uncertainty. I never should have thought otherwise. I always had fun when I was with Landon. He was the one who had cheered me up time and time again when I would get depressed from thinking about Joel.

  “Thanks for tonight,” I said, breaking the silence.

  “You’re welcome. I thought you could use some fun.”

  “I definitely needed it.”

  I closed my eyes and let my body relax. The only sounds were the crickets and Landon breathing beside me. It was heaven out here. The longer we stayed, the less I wanted to go back to the farm.

  “What are you thinking about?” Landon asked quietly.

  “Just how peaceful it is out here. I like it.”

  “Do I make you feel peaceful?”

  His question caught me off guard. “Yeah, I guess you do.”

  I’d never really thought about it, but he did make me feel peaceful. I hadn’t felt that way in a very long time.

  “I’m glad that I can make you feel something.”

  The cloud finally moved past the moon, and I could see again as I turned on my side to face him. I hadn’t missed the hidden meaning in his words.

  “You make me feel a lot of things, Landon, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll be leaving at the end of next month, and we’ll probably never see each other again.”

  “What do I make you feel?” he asked, ignoring the rest of my words.

  “Does it matter?” I asked as I rolled back onto my back.

  “It does to me. If you care about me the way I care about you, why do you keep pushing me away?”

  “Because nothing good can come from it. Besides, you deserve someone a lot better than me.”

  “I think you should let me decide what I do and don’t deserve, City.”

  I opened my mouth to respond, but he silenced me by rolling over and pressing a kiss to my lips. I didn’t fight him as his tongue slipped into my mouth and tangled with mine. I didn’t have it in me to fight it. It felt too good. He felt too good, so I was going to enjoy this moment for a minute before I had to face reality again.

  My arms wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer to me. He was on his side next to me, but he rolled the rest of the way over so that his body was hovering over mine. My body felt stiff as the mud dried to my skin, but I ignored it as we continued to kiss. I didn’t want it to end.

  He pulled back, causing me to grumble. “See, City? Things are so much easier when you stop worrying about stuff.”

  “Things are never easy,” I whispered.

  “Stop stressing over us, and just let things…go. Whatever is meant to happen will happen.”

  “I’m so afraid of getting hurt again. I don’t ever want to feel the way I felt after what Joel did to me.”

  I felt Landon’s body stiffen above me.

  “City, I would never do that to you. I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me, have I?”

  “No, but that doesn’t mean that you won’t hurt me.”

  He lifted his hand to run it down my face. “I’ll never hurt you, I promise. Will you give me a chance? I know you’re still trying to get over him since it’s only been a month, but I swear, I’m nothing like him.”

  “I…I don’t know. I can’t answer that right now. I still love him, Landon. I’m slowly letting what I had with him go, but he’s still under my skin. I thought he was it for me.”

  “I told you before that I could wait, and I meant that, but I’m not going to just sit around and wait for you to make up your mind.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

  He grinned down at me. “Prepare yourself to be blown away by my charm. I’m going to do everything I can to win you over.”

  “Landon…”

  He pressed two fingers against my lips. “Shush. Nothing you say will stop me from trying.”

  I stayed silent as he pressed another kiss to my lips. He released me and stood. He held out his hand to help me up from the ground. Both of us were silent as we walked to the four-wh
eeler and climbed on. I rested my head against his muddy back as he drove us back to the farm.

  I had a lot to think about. I knew that something good could come from being with Landon, but I was still scared. I didn’t want to get hurt again, but being around him just felt right. I’d noticed that from the very beginning. Even then, I’d forced myself to ignore my attraction to him because I was with Joel. Now, I was free, and I was even closer to Landon than before. I liked spending time with him, and I liked it when he’d kissed me. It was soft and innocent and something I’d never had with Joel.

  Instead of taking me back to my grandparents’ house, he went to his house.

  “Why did you bring me here?” I asked.

  “Because I figured you’d want to shower and wash your clothes before you went home. Your grandma will have a heart attack if she sees you like this.”

  “Oh, okay. I don’t have any extra clothes with me though.”

  He shrugged as we climbed off the four-wheeler together. “You can wear mine until yours are dry.”

  I kicked off my boots by the door and walked inside.

  He pointed toward the bathroom. “I’ll get you some clothes. Help yourself to whatever you need. I don’t have any chick shampoo though. Sorry.”

  “No biggie. I’ll survive.”

  I walked to the bathroom and shut the door. I stripped off my muddy clothes and put them on top of the hamper. I couldn’t help but laugh when I noticed that even my bra and underwear were soaked. Once I had the water adjusted, I slipped into the shower stall and closed the door. The hot water was just what I needed. I stood under it for a minute before grabbing a bottle of Axe shampoo and running it through my hair.

  Once I had all the mud scrubbed off of my body, I shut the water off and dried myself with a towel. I stepped out of the shower to see that Landon had left a pair of sweats and one of his shirts for me to put on. My dirty clothes were gone. I hadn’t even heard him come in. At least the shower was surrounded by frosted glass, so I didn’t have to panic over whether or not he’d seen me naked.

  I pulled his clothes on and laughed at how big they were on me. I had to roll the pant legs up several times, so I wouldn’t trip on them. His shirt looked like a dress on me, but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I couldn’t help but sniff his shirt. I loved the way he smelled. I opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the hallway. I turned to my left, but that led into the kitchen. I went right instead and made my way past the bathroom and into the living room.