The Shape of Us

by Lisa Ireland

  She smiled at the memory of that holiday. It was kind of a delayed honeymoon – a four-week long American adventure before she’d started her stint at the Alfred. Her parents had given it to them as a wedding gift. Sean had wanted to go to California but Mezz’s dream was New York. So they caught a train, the famous California Zephyr, from San Francisco and made their way across the country. Of course it would have been quicker to fly, but Sean insisted they’d see more of the ‘real America’ this way and he was right. The highlights of that trip were found in places they never expected: decent coffee in Salt Lake City, an impromptu blues performance from a fellow traveller as the train crossed the Mississippi River, and sharing several meals with an elderly Amish couple, Samuel and Miriam. Many of their fellow travellers had difficulty understanding Sean’s thick Australian accent and more than once Mezz found herself in the role of translator, a fact that she teased him about for years to come.

  But that was in the past. Now she couldn’t remember the last time the two of them had shared a joke.

  And these days her souvenir t-shirt no longer swam on her in the comic fashion it once had. Instead it clung to her belly and butt in a most unappealing way.

  Was it any wonder her husband didn’t find her attractive anymore? She needed to get herself some sexy underwear ASAP. The plan had been to avoid further clothes purchases until after the surgery, but these items were essential right now. She needed to get Sean’s attention before one of The Ponytails stole him from under her nose. If they hadn’t already.

  The smell of breakfast cooking began to waft into her room. Today it smelt like pancakes. Or maybe waffles? Whatever it was it would be delicious, no doubt. Jewels was the most amazing cook. No wonder she was doing so well in her business. Everything she made tasted like it had come directly from heaven’s kitchen. Mezz threw back the covers. Time to get up and shower. She didn’t want to repeat yesterday’s performance of being the only sloth at the breakfast table.

  Twenty minutes later she was seated at the dining table with a stack of maple syrup coated pancakes in front of her. Jewels sat opposite her sipping an espresso. Despite Mezz’s effort to look presentable she once again felt outdone by her stylish friend. Today Jewels was wearing jeans, a pink floral top and a sweet fifties-style cardigan. Her hair was crafted into an immaculate bun and she’d fashioned a matching floral scarf into a headband to complete her look. Mezz felt decidedly frumpy in her stretchy leggings and grey woollen tunic.

  Apparently Kat and Ellie were up early and had decided to take Ami for a walk. Jewels had insisted on making her a huge tower of pancakes, despite her protest that she was eating way too much this weekend. Now they were in front of her and impossible to resist. ‘Oh my god, Jewels, these are amazing. I so wish I could take you home with me.’

  Jewels grinned. ‘I think my husband would have something to say about that. He’s pining for me already.’ She picked up her phone and showed Mezz the screen.

  Hey, babe, missing you. Love you, sweetcheeks.

  ‘He’d die if he knew you’d seen this, but isn’t he cute? Seven texts already this morning.’

  Mezz gave a half-hearted smile. How nice it must be to have a husband who missed you when you were gone. The few times she’d heard from Sean it’d been to ask where something was, or if she knew what time Max’s counselling session had been changed to. In fact she hadn’t heard from him since she’d left the hotel. She’d sent several texts since then but he hadn’t bothered to answer. When she’d called the landline, Liam answered and assured her everything was fine at home, but Dad was in the garden and had dirt on his hands so couldn’t answer the phone. ‘Get Dad to call me back on my mobile when he’s done,’ she’d said, but that was yesterday morning and so far Sean hadn’t returned her call.

  ‘Can I ask you something, Jewels?’

  ‘Anything.’

  Mezz felt herself colouring. ‘It’s a bit personal.’

  Jewels laughed. ‘Honey, you should know by now that there are few topics that are out of bounds with me. Go ahead. Ask me anything.’

  ‘I’m just wondering . . . well, things have gotten a bit stale, um, in the bedroom between Sean and me. It seems like – and believe me I’m not asking for details here – but it seems like you and Matt are pretty happy in that department.’

  Jewels smiled. ‘I’ve got no complaints.’

  ‘So I’m just wondering, if you might know . . .’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I’m thinking I might need to spice things up a little by wearing some nice underwear, nothing tacky of course. I was thinking along the lines of a black lacy bra and matching knickers. I used to wear that kind of thing when I was thinner, but these days my underwear is strictly practical – beige bras and granny undies from Target. Occasionally Shapewear to suck everything in if I’m wearing an evening dress. You know the sort of thing.’

  Jewels nodded.

  ‘I don’t know where to start looking for something a bit racier. I mean, do they even make sexy underwear for women our size?’

  ‘Oh my lord, where have you been, girlfriend? Of course they do. Most of the plus-sized shops have at least a small range. There’s a big shopping centre in Geelong that has quite a few shops for us curvy girls, so you could stop in there on your way home tomorrow if you want to surprise him. But the really good stuff is online. Here, let me show you.’ Jewels retrieved her iPad from the kitchen and opened up a browser window. She quickly typed in an address and then handed the tablet to Mezz. ‘Have a look at these.’

  Jewels was right. There was a variety of beautiful styles to choose from, and none of the models wearing them were stick thin. In fact some of the girls looked about her size or even larger. None of them looked foolish or repulsive. In fact, they looked sexy.

  Jewels came and stood behind her. ‘I’ve got that set,’ she said, pointing to a floral silk balconette bra with matching undies. She scrolled down the screen to reveal more pictures. ‘But it’s this one that really drives Matt wild.’ She indicated a black satin corset, laced with hot pink ribbon, teamed with black lace knickers and a matching suspender belt. A pair of black lace stockings completed the outfit.

  Mezz laughed. ‘I think I’d give Sean a heart attack if I jumped into bed with that on.’

  Jewels grinned. ‘You never know. He might surprise you. There’s only one way to find out.’

  ‘Thanks for this, Jewels. I hope you didn’t mind me asking.’

  ‘Not at all. Now are you done with those pancakes? Because we need to get ourselves organised. I’ve got a surprise planned for us this afternoon.’

  By the time Mezz and Jewels had cleaned up the kitchen, Kat and Ellie had arrived back and they were toting a large bag of groceries. ‘We’ve decided it’s our turn to cook dinner,’ Ellie said. ‘You’ve been spoiling us rotten all weekend, Jewels, so now it’s our turn to look after you.’

  Jewels opened her mouth to protest, but Kat shut her down before she could utter a peep. ‘No you don’t. There’s no getting out of this one. We’ve made up our minds.’

  Kat looked at Mezz. ‘And before you complain you haven’t contributed, you arrived with a bag of groceries and bottles of very delicious and expensive bubbly.’

  ‘But I haven’t done anything to help since I’ve been here,’ Mezz replied.

  ‘You can help prepare dinner then, or be responsible for the clean-up, if that makes you happy,’ Ellie said. ‘But not you.’ She pointed a finger at Jewels. ‘Tonight you are going to sit back like a queen and be pampered.’

  ‘Funny you should mention the word “pamper”,’ Jewels said. ‘I was just telling Mezz I have a surprise in store for you all this afternoon.’ She picked up Ami who’d toddled around the island bench and held her arms up to Jewels. ‘Yes, even for you, Missy Moo, if your mama says it’s okay.’

  Kat clapped her hands. ‘Oh, I love surprises! What
is it?’

  ‘Well now, it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you that, would it?’

  Kat screwed up her face.

  ‘All I’m telling you is that we have a guest coming at twelve-thirty. I’m going to make up an antipasti plate for lunch. I think that and champagne will be sufficient seeing as we all had such a big breakfast.’

  Mezz groaned and rubbed her belly. ‘Yes and some of us have only just finished that breakfast.’

  ‘Well, maybe just bubbles for you then, Mezz. Anyway, my friend Amelia is joining us for the afternoon. My suggestion is that you find some comfy clothes to wear, doesn’t matter how casual, and prepare to relax for the afternoon.’

  Two hours later the four of them sat, champagne in hand, feet soaking in tubs of warm soapy water, while the local beautician, Amelia, gave each of them a sparkling new manicure. Little Miss Ami had been treated to some strawberry lip gloss and baby pink nails before settling in for her afternoon nap.

  When Amelia asked how they’d all met there was half a beat of silence before Jewels said, ‘Shall we tell her the truth? She’s a good egg, I promise.’

  Mezz grinned. ‘We could tell you, Amelia, but –’

  ‘Then we’d have to kill you,’ interjected Ellie and they all began to howl with laughter.

  Amelia grinned. ‘It’s clear you’ve all been friends for a very long time. How lucky you are to have each other.’

  This brought about more howls of laughter.

  ‘This might be hard to believe, but we’ve only known each other for two months,’ Mezz said.

  ‘And this weekend is the first time we’ve actually met face to face,’ Kat added.

  ‘No!’ Amelia’s mouth dropped open and she stopped filing Ellie’s nails for a moment. ‘You’re having me on, right?’

  Ellie shook her head. ‘Not one bit.’

  ‘But you all seem to know each other so well,’ Amelia said. ‘How did you meet?’

  Mezz looked around at the others and after receiving a nod of agreement from each of them she told the story of how the WON program had brought them all together, how they’d all ‘clicked’ with each other and now they couldn’t go a day without communicating with each other.

  ‘That’s fantastic,’ said Amelia, and she seemed genuinely impressed. ‘The internet, eh? Who would have thought?’

  The conversation then moved on to dieting. The four of them entertained Amelia with tales of their WON experience and various other weight loss attempts. Kat didn’t have too many besides WON under her belt, but Ellie, Mezz and Jewels had remarkably similar stories about all the methods they’d tried. Each of them kept listing off increasingly bizarre things they’d done in an attempt to outdo the others.

  ‘Oh, I know, I know! I’ll bet you can’t match this one.’ Jewels waved her hands in the air in excitement.

  Amelia frowned at her. ‘Hey, careful with those nails – they’re not dry yet.’

  ‘Oops.’ Jewels placed her hands back on the chair’s armrests. ‘Anyway, have you done the one meal pig-out diet?’

  Mezz looked at Ellie who was shrugging her shoulders. ‘Okay,’ Mezz conceded. ‘You’ve got us. What the hell is the one meal pig-out diet?’

  ‘Ha!’ Jewels said. ‘I knew no one else would have done that one. The idea is that you eat a low calorie breakfast, a low calorie lunch and then at dinner you eat whatever you like. If there’s anything at all you crave during the day, you save it up and you must eat it at dinner. So if you want a chocolate bar or a donut or whatever, you can have it, but you must eat it all in one sitting.’

  ‘How is that supposed to work?’ Kat asked.

  ‘The idea is that if you save all the junk to eat in one sitting then you’ll get too full to consume it all. And it’s supposed to make you realise just how much you are eating over the course of a day,’ Jewels said.

  ‘Did that work?’ Amelia asked.

  ‘Yep,’ Jewels said, her face deadpan. ‘I began to see exactly how much food I was consuming in a day. It didn’t stop me from eating it, of course, but it made me aware that I am an enormous glutton! I gained four kilos but I felt really terrible about it. Isn’t that the aim of most diets, to make you feel like shit?’

  ‘Indeed,’ said Ellie, and they all laughed and raised their glasses once more.

  ★

  After their pampering session, Kat and Ellie moved into the kitchen, while Mezz and Jewels relaxed on the balcony. Once Ami woke up Jewels insisted on taking her for ice cream and Mezz decided she’d take the opportunity for a pre-dinner siesta.

  ‘So what are we making?’ Ellie asked, looking at the array of ingredients lined up on the bench.

  Kat smiled. ‘I really want to make some of the dishes I learned to cook when I was a little girl. My mum and my grandmother taught me how to make burek and lately I’ve been craving it, but it’s a little bit fiddly so it’s not really worth cooking it for just Ami and me.’

  ‘So what is it?’

  ‘It’s a meat-filled bread, or pastry really.’

  ‘So, like a pie?’

  ‘Kind of, but the pastry is rolled into this kind of spiral shape. I always thought it looked like a giant snail when I was a kid.’

  Ellie laughed. ‘I can’t wait to see how it turns out.’

  ‘Let’s hope it’s okay. Last time I tried to make it the pastry all fell apart, but that was in a makeshift kitchen in a camping ground, so hopefully we’ll have better luck today.’

  ‘What can I do to help?’ Ellie asked.

  ‘I’ll get you to prepare some vegetables to serve with it. I thought we could do mashed potato and steamed carrots and beans. Burek and three veg. It’s the Aussie influence.’

  Ellie laughed. ‘What about dessert? We bought all that fruit. Shall I chop it up for a fruit salad?’

  ‘Yeah, that’s a good idea. We can save the baklava I bought at the bakery to have with coffee.’

  ‘I forgot about that. I love baklava.’

  Kat nodded. ‘Me too. It was my favourite treat as a child, but I can’t remember exactly how to make it. And from memory it’s tricky and time consuming.’

  ‘I’m sure the store bought stuff will be lovely. Looks like we’re having a Bosnian feast tonight.’

  Kat smiled remembering the large family dinners her parents had hosted where the dining table was practically groaning with food. ‘Perhaps not quite a feast. More like a taste of Bosnia.’

  Ellie returned her smile. ‘Well, I for one can’t wait.’

  The burek turned out perfectly, even better than Kat had hoped for. And while they ate the women all complimented her on her cooking and asked her questions about her childhood in Bosnia. It felt good to be able to talk freely about where she’d come from. She had fond memories of Doboj but hadn’t talked about her hometown for years. Not since she’d left her family.

  Sitting at the table with Mezz, Ellie and Jewels, Kat felt a sudden sensation of homecoming. It overwhelmed her for a moment and she felt the sting of tears in her eyes.

  ‘Kat, what’s wrong?’ Ellie asked.

  Kat smiled through her tears. ‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘I was just thinking how perfect this is. I wish we could stay here forever.’

  ★

  By the time Mezz pulled up in her driveway at home on Sunday afternoon, she was feeling quite positive about renewing the spark in her marriage. Yesterday, after a few champagnes, Jewels had talked her into letting Amelia give her a full Brazilian bikini wax. It seemed she was the only one of the four women who’d never had one. Jewels assured her that it drove her husband wild. Mezz had her doubts at first. ‘But doesn’t it make you look like a little girl down there? I would think men would find that off-putting.’

  ‘Trust me,’ said Jewels. ‘There isn’t a red-blooded male alive that doesn’t go wild for a bare pussy.’

&n
bsp; ‘Or red-blooded girl, if they’re that way inclined,’ chipped in Ellie.

  Mezz relented. ‘I hope I don’t regret this, but what the hell? You only live once, I guess.’

  She had to admit, having no hair on her vulva felt surprisingly sexy and on the drive home she’d found herself fantasising about what Sean might say, what he might do to her . . .

  She’d also taken Jewels’ advice and made a quick stop at the shopping centre in Geelong to buy new underwear. A black lace bra and matching knickers along with a sheer black nightie were successfully purchased. The new lingerie was probably tame by Jewels’ standards, but a huge improvement on her crappy Yankees t-shirt. Surely Sean would approve of the effort, at least?

  ‘Mum, Mum! You’re home!’ Archie greeted her with a hug as she dragged her suitcase through the front door.

  ‘Hey, sweetie. I missed you so much.’ She bent down to give him a kiss on the top of his head. ‘Where’s Dad?’

  ‘Out in the backyard. I’ll go tell him you’re home.’

  ‘Thanks, Arch.’ She followed her youngest son out onto the back veranda and watched him bound over to his father to relay the news. Sean stopped digging momentarily and half-heartedly raised a hand in her direction before turning his attention back to the garden.

  Mezz’s hopes of a happy reunion sank like a stone into the pit of her stomach and formed a tight knot there. Sean didn’t seem overly thrilled to see her, but she wasn’t going to give up at the first hurdle. She made her way down the veranda steps and across the garden until she was standing next to him. ‘The garden’s looking great,’ she said. He still didn’t look up. ‘Hey, Arch, there’s a surprise for you and your brothers on the front seat of the car. There’s a shopping bag with candy canes all over it. If you go get it you can have first choice of one treat out of the bag.’