To Protect Serve and Betray: A BBW Romance

by Leila Lacey

  Seth pulled up to the valet at the restaurant and opened his door to get out, then he leaned in and kissed her very gently on the lips.

  Alena could feel the whiskers of his five o clock shadow.

  As he applied a little pressure, he slid his tongue along her bottom lip. Then ever so slowly, pulled slightly away from her.

  Alena still felt his breath on her lips while she’d never felt so much anticipation of a moment in her life. Even though the moment was brief and he’d only kissed her lips slightly, the kiss felt deliciously sinful.

  * * * *

  Seth grinned at her and finally got out of the car, then went around to help her out.

  The Shore provided awe-inspiring vistas of the Pacific Ocean. Diners could watch the waves as they crashed against the rocks of Ocean Beach. Seals frolicked in the water as they enjoyed their dinner by candlelight, with a glass of champagne. First built in 1863, The Shore is a Southdale Texas historic landmark no one wanted to miss.

  Seth never been here either, but a friend of his told him, would be the perfect place for a first date because after dinner, they could stroll hand-in-hand on the beach and cuddle close against the chilly winds.

  The thought of having Alena in his arms was all too tempting of a thought. He’d gone over and over the big question of whether he should go on a date with Alena. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he needed to keep his distance, his desire to be with her was more powerful.

  The past few weeks had been amazing getting to know her and Ajani. The more he knew about her, the more he wanted to know. When Alena mentioned her husband in the car, it felt like guilt had its hands around his throat and he almost turned around and took her home.

  But he hadn’t, he still didn’t know what was driving him toward this woman. All he knew was he wanted her for his own.

  As they sat down to dinner, Seth decided to address the secret head on. Maybe if he spoke with her about Marcus there would be a window for him to tell her his secret. “So, tell me about your husband,” Seth prompted, taking a sip of his scotch on the rocks the waitress just brought him.

  “What do you want to know?” Alena said gazing up at him from her menu.

  “How did he die?” Seth asked with a golf ball sized lump in his throat.

  “He was killed by racist cops,” Alena replied.

  Seth could see talking about it would still upset her. Now, he felt bad for bringing it up. As she looked out at the ocean, he watched her face change from one of peace to one of great pain. “I’m sorry Lena. We don’t have to talk about this,” he whispered.

  “No…No! It’s okay. There was a time when I couldn’t talk about Marcus but I have to get used to it for our son’s; sake. I’m the only one who can tell Ajani what a wonderful man his father was. You know?” Alena said looking across the table into Seth’s emerald green eyes.

  Seth nodded his head in agreement, unable to get the words out because he was choking on his own lies.

  “The night Marcus was killed; he went out to help his brother get out of trouble again. His mother made Marcus feel responsible for him. Anyway, his brother had been being watched by the Sheriff’s department and the night they killed him was when they wanted to make their move on his brother. I’ve been given a number of scenarios of what happened after they were pulled over and I don’t know which one is true. But what I do know, is the result was Marcus bleeding out on the concrete in the middle of the street. Doctors tried to save him but there really wasn’t anything they could do,” Alena paused gazing out over the water. How much pain fear and anger she’d felt toward the police, at his mother, at his brother, shit at the janitor of the building Marcus pulled over in front of.

  Seth sat listening and he could see she was mentally reliving the day her life changed forever. He tried to give her the ear she clearly needed. He also hated himself too much to speak right now.

  “A month after his death, I tried to kill myself. I went through such a dark time when he died. I planned on spending the next sixty years of my life with him and in a matter of hours, all my dreams were destroyed. I took a bottle of sleeping pills. Luckily, for me, my mother is very protective and at that time in my life, she was at my home a lot. It was when I found out I was pregnant with Ajani. He gave me a reason to live. He saved my life. He’s the reason I found my way back to Christ.”

  Seth waited for the waitress to finish serving them there food before asking, “What do you mean?”

  “I hated everything when Marcus died, even him,” Alena said pointing to the sky. “I said if this is what God thinks is okay and fair, then to hell with him. Then, he blessed me with Ajani. My baby survived a suicide attempt and an early delivery. If that doesn’t make you believe in miracles and the grace of our father in heaven, then I don’t know what will?” Alena finished, taking a sip of her water.

  Seth suddenly felt like vomiting, he hadn’t known Alena tried to take her own life. He knew she struggled with the loss and not getting any justice for him. Hell, he did too. Now, sitting across from her, looking into her beautiful hopeful eyes and the smile on her face for him—the man who’d killed her husband.

  Seth started shifting his food around on his plate. “I don’t do the big guy, so don’t ask me. I think you had some very talented doctors and loving family members on your side to make him...” Seth said pointing to the sky. “…Look good.”

  Tilting her head, Alena smiled “And who do you think gave those doctors their talent? Not everyone can be a doctor, and there are people who are doctors that are terrible at what they do. You’re right, I did get great doctors but it wasn’t luck that I ended up getting their help.”

  Seth never talked to anyone about his loss in faith. “If you say so,” he said around a bite of food.

  Her interest now seemed to be peaked. “So, were you raised in the church?” she asked him digging into her dinner.

  “Yup, Catholic Altar boy here,” Seth said nodding his head.

  “Wow! An Altar Boy with no faith! My interest is peaked. Do you mind if I ask what happened? You weren’t touched in your special place were you?” she whispered with a look of horror on her face.

  Seth laughed. Alena was the first woman he’d met who could make him laugh the way she did. “I now see where Ajani gets his no filter issues from. No It was my doing, I did something I never should have. I hurt people I would never want to hurt and I lost something very important to me.”

  “Hmm…and this event made you lose your faith in the Lord?” Alena asked skeptically

  “No, what made me know there is no all-powerful being is the fact these things even happened. These were good people, people who didn’t deserve what I did to them, and while I never meant to hurt anyone, I destroyed lives, yet I got to walk away free and clear. As you said before about your doubts…what kind of God is that?” He’d gotten more emotional than he wanted to while talking, Seth looked away from Alena, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Well, I am now, officially the world’s worst first date!” Seth said composing himself.

  Alena reached across the table, slowly rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand in support. “No! You’re a wonderful date. It’s not often, I look across the table at a date and know I want to get to know him better. So, tell me what it is you do for a living?”

  “About two years ago, I started my own private security firm” Seth replied, welcoming the change of subject Alena offered him. “Myself and a few others guys provide security to dignitaries, politicians, or Hollywood types when they’re in the area. Or, if they’re traveling internationally and their regular security is not licensed to carry out their duties outside of the US.”

  “Wow! So you do a lot of traveling then?”

  “No. I tend to be more on the investigative side of things. Looking into the background of employees and other people who are close to the client to make sure they are safe”.

  “So, have you always liked investigating and protecting people?”
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br />   Seth paused for a moment.

  “I’m sorry did I pry too much?” she asked nervously.

  “No…It just reminded me—never mind. My father was a cop, my brother is a cop,” Seth said sadly, looking anywhere but at Alena.

  “Ahh! So, it’s in your blood” Alena said smiling shaking her head. “Well, I wish there would have been a man like you on the force the night my husband was killed,” Alena replied as she dug into the double chocolate fudge cheesecake.

  Seth dropped his spoon, jumped up from the table while barely mumbling an audible excuse and ran to the bathroom. He stumbled into the restroom like a man who’d drank too much. He only had a sip of beer all evening. Staggering to the sink, he turned on the cold water and splashed water on his face. It didn’t help prevent what he wanted to stop. He slammed his way into a stall and threw up twice. “What am I doing? What the hell am I doing?” he muttered while sliding the floor as he sobbed in the stall. She thinks you would have been her hero! She thinks you are a good guy. He thought to himself.

  Was he being selfish trying to keep an eye on Alena and Ajani? Was he doing this for himself more than them?

  He suddenly jumped up and ran out of the bathroom. Looking down the hall to the right and left, he saw a door that went to the back of the restaurant. Seth wasn’t sure what he was going to do after tonight, but he knew he wasn’t going back to the table.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The Hale family was having their weekly Sunday dinner. A tradition which actually carried all the way back to Seth’s great-great grandparents. As far back as Seth could remember, his parents always instilled a sense of family for him and his sibling.

  “So, what’s with all the overtime you’ve been working lately?” Steven asked Shawn.

  Seth had been able to avoid attending family dinner the past two Sundays, because Shawn hadn’t been able to make it, because of late hours.

  “The department’s been going through a lot of changes, losing a lot of good cops over Captain Maddox’s being fired and brought up on charges,” Shawn responded

  “What is going on with that? What’s he actually being charged with?” Steven inquired. Once a cop always a cop was Steven’s motto, so he was always very interested in finding out what went on with the department when the integrity of his fellow officers was being smeared all over the nightly news and in every newspaper in the state.

  “It’s a bunch of bullshit pop. They’re charging him with racketeering, illegal arms dealing and manslaughter,” Shawn said angrily

  “Manslaughter?” Melissa said in shock, grasping her chest. “Who do they think he killed?” she asked

  “Some spick drug dealer from the project Ruiz Cruise. They found him in the basement of one the apartment buildings he used to deal drugs out of, with his throat slit from ear to ear.

  “Dear God!” Melissa said sadly

  “What kind of evidence is the prosecutor saying he has to bring a cop up on charges?” Steve asked.

  “Some low life snitch who they won’t name—”

  “Me. It’s me. I’m the one who turned him in. I wore a wire and I got them the evidence they needed to get him. Seth decided he was tired of being ashamed of doing the right thing.

  “YOU? YOU? You’re the low life traitor who betrayed the department!” Shawn yelled jumping up out of his chair.

  “NO! I am the cop who did my job and caught a criminal Shawn! Or have you forgotten, it’s our responsibility to protect and serve the public not our fellow crooked cops!” Seth yelled, also standing up.

  “Boys!” Melissa said anxiously looking at her husband for help.

  “What is your problem? First, you up and quit because some colored guy got killed, because he didn’t follow the directions of the six cops who had him at gunpoint and now, you turned into a narc piece of shit who’s gonna get another cop sent to jail for the rest of his life over some spick criminal?” Shawn yelled.

  “What’s my problem? What is my problem? Did you listen to the oath we took when we graduated the academy Shawn? It is our job to protect the public. That colored guy as you put it was murdered by me and five other cops. We killed him in cold blood. He’d done nothing wrong! Maddox is dirty. A scum who deserves to go to jail for the rest of his life or worse! He killed him because he dared to try and muscle in on his arms deal!”

  “What about his wife and kids? What are they supposed to do without him? Because you got a bug up your ass over some black guy who wasn’t breaking the law then, but I am sure he would have been committing a crime sometime soon; they always do!”

  Standing there in the home they’d both grown up in with the parents who’d given them a wonderful childhood, Seth wondered if he’d ever really known his brother at all. It felt like he was having an out of body experience. Everything he thought he’d known about himself and his brother was all an illusion. While his father and mother sat there listening to the bigoted, hateful speech coming out of his mouth with no objections, which made him wonder if he knew anyone in his family. Steven had been the best cop Seth had ever known, all he ever talked to his sons about was wanting to make a difference in his community like his father before him.

  He could remember days, when his dad would pick him up from school in his uniform and they would stop at Ms. Henderson’s house down the block and bring her a few groceries. Ms. Henderson was an elderly woman who couldn’t go out on her own and couldn’t afford a care giver. Steven and Melissa had stepped in to help her in any way they could with no questions.

  Until recently, Seth never thought about the fact that Ms. Henderson was black. It’d never even crossed his mind.

  “BOYS! Sit down now! Steven shouted.

  Seth and Shawn never even tried to disobey their father and today, wasn’t going to be the day they started. Plopping down in their seats, they both sat pouting like six year olds who’d just fought over who was going to get the new baseball glove.

  “I will not have this fighting in my house. What’s gotten into you boys?”

  They were all silent for a long time before Seth asked the question he’d been wondering since taking a life

  “Pop, let me ask you a question. Why did you and mother never teach us about race? Why wasn’t it ever a topic? I can remember having a ton of black friends I played with on the block and you and mom helping Ms. Henderson. Were you just avoiding talking about it?”

  “No,” Melissa said quietly leaning over to rub her sons hand. “We’re a God fearing family. We are all God’s children. We never discussed race with you boys because there was no need to. The race of a man or woman doesn’t determine their value in the world,” she finished wiping tears from her face.

  “Pop I know the racism on the force is not new—”

  Shawn slammed his hand on the table and jumped up, knocking his chair over. “RACISM! RACISM? Are you really whining for all those low lifes? You have seen them you have seen how they live and the things they will do to us and each other! Cops don’t make these people behave like they do, those niggers are animals!” he yelled

  “BOY! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN BEFORE I SIT IT DOWN FOR YOU!” Steven said angrily, jumping up to square off with his youngest son. “You will never let that vile word come out of your mouth in my house or in the presence of your mother ever again in your life, you got me boy? I brought your ass in this world and I will take you out before I watch you turn into a trashy hate monger! LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU YOUNG MAN!”

  Shawn gazed up at his father and humbly nodded his head. “Yes sir”

  Taking a moment to compose himself, Steven handed his wife the handkerchief he always kept in his pocket while rubbing her shoulders. “Calm down sugar plum, it will be okay,” he whispered to his wife kissing her on the cheek. “To answer your question Seth. No the racism on the force is not new. As a matter of fact, my Captain was a member of a long line of Klan’s men. I decided to keep my head down and as you young people like to say, not drink the Kool-Aid. I did the best
I could to honor the badge. I wore on my chest. I didn’t let the misdealing’s of others change me and I did not try and change them.”

  “See!” Shawn said to Seth, pointing to his dad.

  “AND THAT WAS WRONG!” Steven said shocking both his sons. “Maybe if I’d stuck my neck out, then you wouldn’t be going through what you are going through now son.”

  “Pop, I’m not saying you—”

  “I know what you’re saying Seth,” he said smiling a sad smile. “Shawn you’re my son and I will love you until the day you die. But God forgive me today—today, I’m ashamed you wear the badge.”

  Steven never said he felt ashamed of either of his sons.

  The gasp that came from Shawn before he kicked his chair over and stormed out the house, told the story of how much his sons wanted his love and respect.

  Seth knew though that for Shawn to know he’d lost his father’s respect, was something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Alena, Vanessa and their mother had a standing lunch appointment every Wednesday. This week, their mother had to take their grandmother to a doctor’s appointment, so it was just the sisters today.

  “Will you please answer the phone, so Keith Sweat can quit calling you and we can have a peaceful lunch?” Vanessa pleaded with Alena.

  “No! I will not! Are you kidding me? What is there to say? He took me out to dinner and bailed. I can understand not being interested but leaving me stranded and worried that something happened to him is disrespectful! To top it off, he disappeared for three weeks, never bothering to even try to explain himself. Now, he’s calling my phone eighty times a day? NO! I don’t do assholes…sorry.” Alena angrily stabbed her fork into her salad.

  “Well damn, tell me how you really feel.” Vanessa snickered.

  When Alena quickly glanced up at her sister, ready to strike and saw the ridiculous look, she had on her face, then she could do nothing but laugh. “I really hate you sometimes.”