Finding Forever

by Linda Oaks

  I heard my mom sigh as I picked up my purse from the coffee table and slipped Devon’s keys inside. “Does this really matter?” she asked, shaking her head as if the whole conversation were silly.

  “Something’s wrong with your girl’s eyesight,” Clyde informed her, and I started laughing because I wasn’t the one who was wearing two different colored socks. He frowned at me, pulling on his boots. His mouth was set into a thin line. I decided to be on good behavior for now. I didn’t want his grouchy mood to spoil my pancakes.

  “His socks don’t match,” I whispered as I walked past my mom, and she burst out laughing. I stepped outside and smiled when I heard Clyde ask her, “What was so damn funny?”

  When we pulled up at Fred’s in Old Red, I climbed down from the truck as Clyde hurried around to my side. I stepped out of the way so he wouldn’t step on my toes since he was in such a fizz to get to my mom. He helped her from the truck ignoring me. He looked at her as if she’d hung the moon. He even held the door open for the both of us on the way into the diner. I could tell by the gleam in his eyes that he’d like to trip me as I walked past. He was probably still holding a grudge for my remark about Old Red. He remained standing while we took a seat before sliding into the booth next to my mom. I was impressed. I would have never believed it if someone had told me that Clyde McGraw was an actual gentleman… but I’d seen the proof with my own eyes. Now if only my mother could cure him from his grouchy disposition. I was sure all of my smartass remarks didn’t help improve his mood any, but it was so much fun to push Clyde’s buttons.

  I’d just forked a mouthful of blueberry pancakes in when I heard Clyde make a remark to my mother regarding my appetite which made me want to pick up the entire plate of pancakes and shove them all into my mouth. Clyde was a fine one to talk. He’d scarfed down his eggs, toast, and bacon in record time. It was childish of me, but I opened my mouth showing him my food whenever my mom wasn’t looking. He just shook his head, not even bothering to reply.

  A ding from my cellphone drew my attention. It was a text from Devon.

  -Me & the little man r on the way. Got done early. Will pick u up at Fred’s. I spoke with Clyde earlier. Be ready. ;)

  I glanced up to find that mom had laid down her fork and had pushed her plate aside, which was the universal sign for “I’m full.” The best thing about Fred’s was that you could order breakfast anytime — day or night. It was one thirty in the afternoon, and we’d just eaten pancakes, bacon, and eggs. “I’m stuffed,” Mom said, smiling at me as she patted her nonexistent tummy.

  “Me too,” I replied, deciding not to eat another bite. Anyway, I was too excited at the prospect of spending the day with Devon and Jagger. I might need to save room for our picnic. “Devon and Jagger are on their way.”

  Clyde seemed pleased by that tiny bit of information. He drew his arm from around my mom’s shoulder and impatiently drummed his fingertips against the table. “We better get going, honey. I don’t want you to be late for your hair appointment.”

  I looked at my mom wearing a concerned expression. Was she going to cut her hair? “It’s only a trim,” she said, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. The last time she’d decided she needed a change she’d listened to Mavis, who had convinced her to dye her blonde locks black. It had been a complete and utter disaster. “Will we see you at the house this evening?”

  “Probably not,” I replied, and Clyde smiled widely. At that moment, he reminded me of a shark. He probably planned on spending another night with my mom.

  She slid from the booth, and Clyde followed suit as if an invisible string attached him to her hip. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick before they get here.” I told the both of them. “You guys have fun.” I gave my mom a brief hug. Clyde patted me on the back. It was odd but endearing. I might actually be softening toward Clyde. Maybe, he wasn’t so bad after all.

  “We’ll see you, Kara,” he said, taking my mom’s hand in his. He seemed as if he were in a rush. I walked down the aisle and took a left heading for restroom.

  If I had thought the diner hadn’t changed, well the bathrooms were the exact same too. All except for the fixtures that appeared to have been recently updated. The local kids who’d hung out at Fred’s over the years had left their mark on the stall doors and walls. Fred never bothered to paint it. Even if he did, it would probably be a waste of time. The floors gleamed, but the walls remained the same dismal gray covered in black sharpie, pencil, and ballpoint pen. There were the hearts, the call for a good time, and just random names saying so and so was here.

  As I hung out in the stall, I searched for Devon’s and my name. Sure enough, there it was near the bottom hinge right where I’d placed it so many years ago. I brushed my finger against the heart, feeling nostalgic as memories rushed through my mind.

  We’d sure had some good times.

  With a smile on my lips, I hurried and washed my hands. I walked down the aisle towards the exit with plans of waiting outside for Jagger and Devon to arrive. It was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and the temperature hovered around eighty. It was the perfect day for a trip to the park.

  “Kara,” Fred called as I started past the register. I stopped and turned. Fred held up the bag with my clothes in one hand and with the other…. he held up a bill.

  “Are you kidding me?” I muttered. That son of a bitch, Clyde! He stuck me with the bill!

  “Sorry sweetheart,” Fred said grinning. It was obvious he thought it was funny. I guess a leopard couldn’t change its spots after all. I don’t know why this surprised me. Score one for Clyde. Well, it was actually like three, but who the hell was counting!

  I sat my hobo bag on the counter digging through it and found my wallet. I took out two twenties and handed them to Fred frowning. “Your young man stopped in here this morning,” he said as he handed me back my change. I shoved the five and three ones inside my purse staring back at him.

  “He did?” I asked with a smile. The fact that he’d called Devon my young man pleased me. Fred reached underneath the counter and sat down a picnic basket before me. “He called a little while ago and said he was on his way. Anything that will spoil is on ice. He dropped the basket off this morning on his way to the garage. That little Jagger of his is a sight. Such a smart boy. He’s the spitting image of his daddy.”

  “He sure is,” I replied, and silently prayed that Fred would take my credit card for the food for the picnic, but when I tried to hand it to him, he started laughing. “Kara, this one has already been paid. Devon took care of it.”

  I should have known. “Your young man is outside,” Fred told me, and I glanced over my shoulder searching for him. “It’s good to see that smile on your face, Kara.” I heard Fred say.

  With my lips curved upward, I looked back at him. “It’s good to have something to smile about, Fred.” I stepped up on the ledge under the counter and leaned across kissing Fred’s cheek.

  “You keep on smiling,” he said as I turned for the door, carrying the picnic basket in one hand and my bag in the other.

  “Bye Fred,” I yelled over my shoulder and heard the bell above the door jingle as I walked out. Devon and Jagger were waiting, parked in a convertible white mustang. The car was so badass. It was an older model, obviously a classic, and appeared to be in mint condition. My baby loved his toys.

  Devon and Jagger both had their caps turned backwards and each sported a pair of Ray-Bans. When I walked up to the car, I couldn’t help the silly grin on my face at the sight the two of them made. They were both adorable. Devon opened his door and climbed out, walking to meet me. As he approached, I could see my reflection in the Ray Bans’ mirrored lens. His muscular arms wrapped around me. Devon leaned in, stealing a kiss, as one of his hands slipped to my backside and squeezed. It seemed as if he were in a good mood. I pulled away, playfully smacking his chest. After all, Jagger was watching.

  “I missed you,” he said, and my st
eps faltered at his confession. He took the picnic basket and grabbed my hand, pulling me around to the passenger side of the car.

  “Alright, what did you do with the old Devon?” I asked, but he just grinned and took the bag with my clothes from my hand, sitting it on the floorboard behind the seat alongside the picnic basket. “How are you, little man?” I asked Jagger, and he smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up sign.

  The Ray Bans he wore were too big for his little face and his smile was almost just as wide as they were. It was comical, but cute. His small hands reached for his hat and smashed it flat against his head. It appeared as if he were hanging onto it for dear life even though we had yet to leave the parking lot. “When Daddy goes fast, I have to hold on to my hat,” he told me. His words were rushed, and his tiny face filled with excitement.

  “Buddy, I told you to take it off and hold on to it until we got to the park,” Devon reminded him as he opened my door. The red leather was warm, soaking through the denim of my jeans, and I was glad then that I’d decided against a skirt.

  I turned around in the seat to look at Jagger who was busy watching Devon. His little lips were pursed and his nose crinkled. “No. Me want to wear my cap like you, daddy,” he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Just hang onto it, buddy,” Devon replied with an easy smile, and then jogged around the front of the car. I couldn’t help but notice the two women who were parked a few spaces over from us. They were watching Devon and wearing what could only be considered a hungry expression. They were acting like pure old she-cats. I wanted to yell at them “he’s mine,” but I didn’t; instead, pushed down the urge to go all cavewoman on them. Devon was hot, and with that cap flipped backward along with the Ray-Bans, it was hard to look anywhere else but at him.

  When he slipped into the seat and started the engine, he looked at me and leaned across the console. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured. A warm gooey feeling settled in the center of my stomach.

  “Little eyes,” I reminded him, knowing how fast this could turn into something more. I pushed against his chest. He glanced over his shoulder at Jagger and smiled at him, his eyes flashing with mischief.

  “Hey Jagger, we’re going to play a game. Close your eyes and don’t open them until I tell you,” he said, then glanced over at me and winked.

  “Okay,” I heard Jagger reply. His baby voice was so cute. Devon’s hand slid behind my head, and his lips covered mine. The heady warmth of his lips rendered me senseless.

  “Can I open them now?” I heard Jagger ask a few seconds later. I couldn’t help but smile against Devon’s lips. He sighed, his warm breath mingling with mine, and then he slipped his hand from my hair and leaned back in his seat.

  “Yeah, little man, you can open them,” Devon said, shaking his head in defeat.

  “Did I win?” Jagger asked, and I turned in the seat fastening my seat belt so I could watch the interaction between father and son.

  “You did,” Devon replied as he slipped on his seatbelt flashing me a crooked grin. He pulled the car forward, maneuvering through the parking lot and out on to the main road.

  “Go, daddy, go!” Jagger chanted. Devon smirked, obviously loving it that Jagger was so much like him. Boys will be boys. A laugh escaped my lips. I couldn’t help it.

  “He’s definitely your boy,” I stated, smiling.

  When Devon goosed the engine, the sounds of Jagger’s giggling reached my ears and immediately became one of my favorite sounds. His tiny face was flushed with excitement, and his feet bounced against the seat in rhythm. He smiled wide. His pearly white baby teeth glistened like snow against his tanned complexion. His hands clutched his head, hanging on to his hat. It was at that moment that Jagger easily slipped right into my heart.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “PUSH ME AGAIN, KARA,” Jagger begged, and I looked over at Devon with what I was sure was an expression of horror. His grin made me smile even though I was running on empty. Who would have thought that a three year old could have this much energy? I was sweaty, dirty, and grass stained. A nap was looking pretty good right about now.

  “Let me take over, babe,” Devon offered, grinning. I was thankful since my arms felt like they were no longer attached to my body. We’d already played on the slides earlier and also with the ball that Jagger had brought along for the trip. I’d survived a game of tag, which ended up with Devon tackling me to the ground and Jagger jumping on top of the both of us. His dark hair was sweaty, and his little hands and knees were smudged with dirt. A smear of chocolate stained the front of his yellow T-shirt. All that was left from the lunch Fred prepared for us were crumbs.

  Sweat trickled down my back. I raised my arm over my head lifting my ponytail to take advantage of the sudden breeze. Since it was after four, the solitude we’d enjoyed by arriving at mid-day was coming to an end with the dismissal of school and people leaving from work. It was already crowded. Beneath a tall oak, a couple already sat at the end of the picnic table where we’d left our empty basket earlier in order to play with Jagger.

  “Daddy, I’m tired.” I heard him say, and Devon stopped the swing. Jagger slid from the seat looking up at him. “I want to go home,” he said with a yawn.

  “You sure, little man?” Devon asked, and Jagger nodded his head yes in reply. “Looks like we’re going home.”

  Hallelujah! I thought, mentally doing cartwheels. I was beat. “Let me grab our basket, and I’ll meet you guys at the car.”

  Devon reached to take Jagger’s hand, but he lifted his arms in the air. The universal sign for pick me up. Devon bent down to his level and slid his hands underneath Jagger’s bottom and lifted him against his chest. Tiny arms wrapped around his neck. I watched as Devon brushed his lips against Jagger’s cheek. My heart swelled with emotion.

  “He’s beat,” he told me, and all I could do was nod sympathetically in agreement. I was too! With a smile on my lips, I walked toward the picnic table to retrieve our basket. It would be so easy to get used to days like these as I imagined the three of us as a family.

  “Kara,” Jagger cried, and I paused turning around to see him wiggle his way out of Devon’s arms. He ran towards me and raised his arms up in the air. “Pick me up.” I looked at Devon who had followed after him. His handsome face was lit with a grin. I bent down, scooping Jagger up in my arms. His sturdy body pressed against mine. He was all boy. His chin rested in the curve of my shoulder. His arms wrapped around my neck. My heart melted. I didn’t stand a chance against the McGraw men.

  “I’ll get the basket, babe. You two head for the car,” Devon said, his lips lightly brushing my cheek. I cut across the grass heading toward the parking lot, the weight of Jagger in my arms slowing my steps. It felt good to hold him.

  When I reached the Mustang, Devon appeared by my side and opened the door. He dropped the basket onto the floorboard and turned to me. “Let me buckle him,” he said, taking Jagger from my arms. The sudden absence of his little body clinging to mine brought tears to my eyes. I wanted this… a family of my own. It would be so easy to fall head over heels for the both of them. In fact, I was afraid I already had.

  Devon pushed back the seat but before I could climb in, his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me against him. My hands rested against his broad chest. His eyes studied my face. He seemed relaxed and happy. “Thank you for spending the day with us,” he said, his warm breath caressing my skin. His lips tenderly brushed my forehead.

  I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t for the sudden lump in my throat. I was so overcome with emotion. The witty words which were usually always at my disposal had scattered. This was all too real for me. It was as if everything I’d ever wanted was right at my fingertips… but it wasn’t mine to take. His finger slid beneath my chin, lifting my gaze to meet his. “Are we good?” he asked, his eyes curiously searching my face. I nodded, trying to smile.

  “Jagger’s great. Today was great,” I whispered, seei
ng the concern in his eyes. His lips curved into a pleased grin.

  “Let’s go home, babe,” he said with a wink and stepped aside so I could slide into the passenger seat. As he walked around the front of the car, his gaze held mine. My heart hammered in my chest. I swallowed, forcing myself to take a deep breath. Devon had yet to offer me more. It was only for the rest of the week, but if I didn’t get a handle on my emotions, I would ruin what little time I had left with the both of them.

  During the drive back, neither one of us spoke. Occasionally, Devon would glance up to look in the rearview mirror. I turned in the seat, and the sight I found waiting curved my lips into a wistful smile. Jagger’s head lay against his shoulder. His eyes were closed. He was sound asleep. Thick, dark lashes rested against his smooth cheeks. He appeared so angelic, but I’d also seen his devilish side too. He was full of mischief.

  “Can’t let him sleep for too long, or he’ll be up all night,” Devon informed me. I couldn’t help but smile at the hint of fear in his manly voice. In the short length of time I’d spent with him and Jagger, they’d managed to steal my heart. The thought of walking away from them filled me with unease. I didn’t know how I’d survive it.

  “What’s the plan for the rest of the evening?” I asked, trying not to think about Friday. He glanced at me, arching one dark eyebrow over the tops of his Ray Bans. With my arm resting against the door, I cocked my head to the side and smiled back at him while holding on to my ponytail as I battled the wind. With the top down, there was no hope for my hair. I wished I could see his eyes instead of my own reflection. Devon was hard enough for me to read as it was.

  His hand reached across the console and came to rest upon my knee. My grin disappeared as my body warmed to his touch. He smiled knowingly then turned his attention back to the road. He’d never answered my question, but just a touch from this man had the ability to render my brain to mere mush.

  His fingers drifted up the inside of my thigh. I squirmed in vain trying to escape him. He laughed, obviously enjoying my discomfort. I locked my legs at the knees trapping his hand from moving any higher. What in the world was he thinking? We had Jagger with us. I glanced over my shoulder to check on him. Thank God, he was still asleep. A tiny clear bubble of salvia pooled at the corner of his rosebud lips. Then Devon’s fingers playfully squeezed my knee.