Finding Forever

by Linda Oaks

  “Behave, Devon,” I warned him. He chuckled, slowing the car and turned onto the road that led to his house.

  His knuckles grazed me. I jerked, momentarily distracted. My hands wrapped around his thick wrist halting his explorations. “Your son is in the backseat,” I reminded him.

  “He’s asleep, Kara,” Devon replied, but I shot him an evil glare that had him sliding his hand from between my thighs and frowning. “I’m dying to get inside of you,” he muttered; the heat behind his words made my insides melt.

  Squeezing my thighs together, I swallowed hard. Why did I have no control whenever it came to this man? Now all I could think about was sex. “Do you feel the same way, baby?” He murmured, his voice husky. I stared into the shiny reflection of his Ray Bans, noticing the flush on my cheeks. He had slowed the car to a crawl. At this rate, we were never going to make it to his house. This man loved torturing me.

  “Please, Devon,” I mumbled, feeling my will begin to crumble. Even though now was definitely not the time for this, I couldn’t look away from him. He held me spellbound. The sight of his perfection rendered me breathless.

  “Do you, Kara?” he asked, his handsome face solemn. I hated those freaking sunglasses! I wanted to see his eyes!

  I nodded yes, finally giving in. Of course I felt the same way. Duh! I couldn’t be around Devon McGraw for five minutes without wanting him. He smiled. His expression smug. “Well, you’ll just have to wait. My son is in the backseat,” he replied, flashing me a sexy grin. When he reached for my knee once more, I smacked his hand away.

  “You’re such an ass,” I growled as we came to stop in the driveway. It was all I could do not to punch him in the shoulder like I did with Brandon whenever he got on my nerves. Devon had played me, and of course, I’d given him exactly what he wanted. So what if he knew I wanted to jump his bones. He was so full of himself anyway. He threw back his head and laughed as I glared at him.

  “Daddy,” I heard Jagger cry from the backseat and turned around to find him finally awake. He rubbed his eyes, blinking groggily, and smiled.

  “We’re home, little man,” Devon announced. He opened his door, pushed back the seat, and began unbuckling Jagger as I climbed from the car. I grabbed the picnic basket and my bag and walked toward the both of them as they stood waiting for me. Jagger flashed me a dimpled grin then yawned. A red mark marred his chubby cheek, evidence left over from his recent nap.

  “Did you have fun today?” I asked, and he nodded his head yes in reply, snuggling into Devon’s chest.

  “We got to get you in the bath, son,” Devon told him. Jagger frowned as he raised his head and laid his tiny hand on Devon’s cheek. “You’re sticking to me, Spiderman,” Devon joked as we walked toward the house.

  He paused, and I stopped too, noticing that Jagger’s hand now gripped Devon’s chin. He shot me smile then looked curiously down at Jagger, whose little face was stern. A frown wrinkled his forehead. “No bath, Daddy. Dirt makes me grow,” he replied with all of the seriousness that a three year old could muster while pleading his case. It seemed a perfectly plausible explanation to me.

  I laughed as father and son playfully argued back and forth — especially as Devon tried to explain to Jagger why he needed a bath. Along the way, Devon’s hand slid against mine. I caught his eye and smiled. When we reached the porch, Devon let go of my hand and set Jagger on his feet to open the door. Jagger ran inside ahead of everyone else, and I giggled at his sudden burst of energy.

  “Come on, Kara,” I heard him yell. I brushed past Devon and inhaled the heady scent of man and sweat. His heated gaze held mine. Just the thought of his skin against mine had me shivering. I forced myself to break his stare and move my feet. This would have to be enough for now. A hand slapped my butt, taking me by surprise and making me yelp.

  “Couldn’t help myself,” Devon replied candidly, arching his eyebrows suggestively at me. Unaware of the tension between us, Jagger busily jumped on the couch. Devon closed the door and brushed past me, his warm breath caressed my ear. “That ass is irresistible,” he whispered and then his attention finally landed on Jagger.

  “No jumping, Jag,” Devon scolded in the next breath. The little boy’s legs flew out from under him. His bottom bounced against the cushioned seat of the chair. “I’m going to run you a bath.”

  “Babe, make yourself at home,” Devon said to me before walking over to Jagger and bending down to tickle him. The joy in his laughter curved my own lips. It was such a beautiful sound. My eyes studied the two of them together. I wished I had a camera to capture the moment. Then Jagger ruined that Kodak moment when he began pitching a holy fit. Yep, he was just like his daddy!

  “I don’t want to. I don’t want to,” I heard Jagger protest as Devon packed his squirming body up the stairs. It served him right for the way he’d teased me all day.

  Making my way through the house, I set down the picnic basket on the kitchen counter along with my bag. I walked over to the sliding glass doors and noticed the huge deck out back. There was a pair of matching lounge chairs outside calling my name. They looked comfortable. Sliding open the door, I stepped out onto the deck. I walked over to one of the chairs and took a seat, leaning back. This was heaven. The scene before me could have belonged on a postcard. A rolling meadow of green was surrounded by tall trees whose branches dripped heavy with leaves of green that stretched upward as if reaching to grab the startling blueness of the sky.

  A wooden fence ran along the far corners of the property. It was peaceful and quiet, unlike the city I called home. During my absence, I’d forgotten what the sound of silence was like without the honking of car horns or the echoes of the nearby subway shuttling passengers throughout the night and into the early morning hours.

  Within the partial shade from the trees, the sun wasn’t directly beaming down on me. A smile curved my lips as a warm breeze caressed my skin. I slipped off my flip-flops, letting them fall onto the deck, and closed my eyes, thinking about what a perfect day it had been so far. I never wanted it to end.

  My skin was cool. Something was tickling my nose. Damn it! I reached up, swatted it away, and heard Devon laugh. “Wake up, sleeping beauty.” Blinking, I opened my eyes feeling groggy and suddenly remembered where I was. The sun was setting now and the scent of charcoal hung in the air, making my stomach growl.

  “Why didn’t you wake me up?” I asked, placing my feet on the deck as I sat staring back at Devon who had pulled a seat next to mine. He’d taken a shower; his hair was slicked back but still damp. The ends curled slightly along the curve of his neck. He wore a pair of loose, black, ball shorts that hung past his knees even while sitting down in the chair. A white T-shirt covered his broad chest. His feet were bare and oh, so sexy. Feet were usually gross and a really big turn off for me, but Devon’s were long and arched… perfect, just like the rest of his body.

  “Where’s Jagger?’ I asked, frowning when I didn’t notice him anywhere around. I hadn’t meant to fall asleep. I didn’t want to waste one moment of the time I had left to spend with them.

  “He’s playing in his room. We set up one of his train tracks. He’s fine,” he replied, watching me. His expression made me feel all warm and tingly inside. “You’re so fucking beautiful, Kara.”

  “Yeah right,” I replied sarcastically, smirking. I felt a sudden tightness along my skin as I tried to grin. My cheeks grew warm. Please tell me there was not dried slobber on my face. Way to go, Kara! You’re so smooth! “I need to use the bathroom,” I said, discretely rubbing my hand against my cheek. Maybe, he wouldn’t notice.

  When I stood, he remained seated. I wanted to squirm beneath his gaze. “Come here, Kara.”

  At his heady expression and the heat in his hooded eyes, my feet led me the few steps to stop and stand before him. I didn’t think to protest as I stood there gazing down at him. He took both of my hands in his and bent his dark head to brush his warm lips along the insides of my wrists
. The caress made me tremble. Mesmerized, I remained frozen in place while he pushed back his chair, holding on to my hands and stood.

  “I like having you here. I’ve missed you, babe.” He admitted. I moved closer to him and slid my arms around his waist. He hugged my body against his. This was all so new. The sweet side of Devon was hard to resist. I liked it entirely too much.

  “I missed you, too,” I confessed in a whisper. Suddenly, his body stiffened against mine.

  His hands fell away. He shifted, putting distance between us. His eyes flickered from mine to focusing on the grill. “Go clean up. I’m grilling steaks. I’ve got everything under control.”

  “Thanks,” I said, suddenly feeling confused. What in the hell had just happened? I found my bag exactly where I’d left it earlier and headed upstairs with my mind occupied by thoughts of Devon. His mood swings left me feeling uncertain.

  From down the hall, there were the sounds of Jagger making choo-choo noises. I would miss them both when it came time for me to leave this Friday. I wasn’t sure if there was a future for Devon and me. Was I nothing more than the fling of the week? I wanted more, but did he? It was all so confusing. He cared, but did he care enough to ask me to stay?

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  AFTER DINNER, DEVON AND I both stood before the sink washing dishes. He’d seemed somewhat more approachable since I’d returned back downstairs. This left me wondering if maybe, I’d imagined his earlier behavior. Who knew? Devon was a contradiction like no other. Jagger stood between us on a chair. He was busy playing and splashing with the sudsy water in the sink. His laughter echoed in my ears making me smile. I washed while Devon dried and put everything away. Occasionally, he would smack my butt with the towel, making me yelp, and Jagger would dissolve into a fit of giggles. I couldn’t believe the man didn’t own a dishwasher. “Can you tell me again why you think a dishwasher would not have been a good investment?”

  He shrugged his shoulders, setting a plate in the cabinet near his head then cocked his hip against the counter watching me. “Moments like these,” he replied with an easy grin, making me melt. Suddenly, Jagger splashed me, and I jumped back looking down at the front of my shirt which was already soaked even though I’d just changed it less than an hour ago after my shower. I didn’t have another clean T-shirt with me.

  “It’s on. I’m going to get you,” I teased, plucking the clammy fabric away from my skin. Jagger squealed, jumped down from the chair, and ran behind Devon for protection. He wrapped himself around his legs as he peeked out at me and smiled.

  Devon ruffled the top of his head mussing his hair. Jagger giggled and looked up at him and then back at me as if waiting for my attack. He was spoiled rotten. His tiny, white teeth gleamed. His eyes danced with mischief. “I’m not going to save you, buddy. You’re on your own,” Devon said, but when he tried to step away, Jagger clung to him like a monkey. My hip bumped against Devon as I reached around him snagging Jagger’s squirming body. He laughed as I lifted him into the air. I covered his face in kisses.

  “Now you have girl cooties, “I told him, and he squealed while wiggling in my arms. With my nose in the crook of his neck, I pretended to bite him. He smelled of the fresh scent of baby powder. “Say uncle,” I ordered playfully, but after a few more minutes of squirming and breathless laughter, he stilled in my arms and grinned up at me. At that moment, emotions squeezed tight in my chest as wide, blue eyes stared back at me.

  “Uncle… uncle, Kara,” he said, and I set him on his feet. As soon as those feet touched the floor, he stuck his tongue out at me. Little stinker! Cute and ornery… man this kid has me! “Are we going to watch a movie, Daddy?” he asked, his attention now focused on Devon.

  Devon’s arms slid around my waist. He pulled me back against his broad chest. “Sure thing, little man. Go pick one out.” No sooner had the words left his lips than Jagger took off at a dead run through the house. The sound of his feet slapping against the hardwood floor echoed behind him.

  “He’s awesome,” I told Devon, glancing up at him from over my shoulder. His lips brushed my cheek, and then he angled his hips strategically against mine. Oh my!

  “He’s not the only one who’s awesome. You’re great with him,” he murmured, nuzzling the side of my neck as his hands began trying to distract me. It seemed as if he was always finding a reason to touch me. I couldn’t think properly when he did. One of his hands slid up my side along my ribcage cupping my breast while the other gripped my hip, holding me in place. My heart thumped wildly. My nipples hardened, poking through the thin fabric of my damp T-shirt. I wasn’t wearing a bra.

  “Devon,” I begged, my voice husky. “You need to stop.” My pleas didn’t sound very convincing, even to my own ears. I reached for his hand, moving it away, and turned in his arms to hug him. His expression was playful. His sensual lips curved into a half smile.

  “I should probably go home after the movie,” I suggested, even though I really didn’t want to.

  “No, you’re staying, Kara,” he stated, his voice firm and any trace of the playfulness from before had vanished from his face at my words.

  With a sigh, I nodded my head, effectively giving in since there was no other place I’d rather be than here with him and Jagger.

  After changing into one of Devon’s old T-shirts and a pair of boxers he had loaned me, I opened the bathroom door, catching the sound of Jagger’s giggles coming from down the hall. I found them both already in bed waiting on me to start the movie. The sight of the two of them made my breath catch and my heart swell. “Come on, Kara,” Jagger said, patting the spot directly beside him. I climbed into the king size bed, settling in.

  Devon sat on the other side of Jagger with pillows plumped behind his back and his long legs crossed at the ankles before him. “Everyone ready?” he asked, then twisted around and reached over onto the nightstand to grab a huge bowl of popcorn. He set it in Jagger’s lap.

  Jagger reached into the bowl then turned to me. He handed me a single piece of popcorn. The white fluff gripped in between his stubby fingertips was shiny and coated with butter.

  “No thanks, little man,” I replied, laughing and watched as he shrugged his shoulders as if saying your loss, and popped the piece in to his mouth. The kid was a bottomless pit. He wiped his buttery hand on the leg of his Spiderman pajamas. I heard Devon groan.

  “Use a napkin, man.”

  Then, suddenly, a paper towel landed beside of him. It was comical. The idea of Devon worried about getting stains out of Jagger’s clothes. The mighty had definitely fallen. Things had changed, but for the better, and I couldn’t help but imagine a little girl of our own with dark curls and big blue eyes snuggled in beside the three of us. She would have them both wrapped around her little pinky finger.

  Smiling at the thought, I settled back against the pillow and draped the sheet over my bare legs. “Aww,” Devon groaned. Curiously, I glanced over at him. He raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively as he motioned with the TV remote in his hand pointing at my legs. I shook my head no, laughing.

  “Just start the movie.” I ordered.

  He winked, hit play, and mouthed the word, “later.”

  Halfway through my eyes began to grow heavy, and even with Jagger’s constant chattering, it wasn’t enough to keep me awake. I yawned and heard Devon chuckle. I couldn’t help it. The two of them had done me in for the day. Jagger lay sprawled between us with his head resting against Devon’s chest. His feet were in my lap. Absently, I rubbed his foot.

  Devon’s hand held mine, his thumb lazily brushing against my palm. I could smell the buttery scent of popcorn, and my cheek felt greasy from the kiss Jagger had given me a few seconds earlier. With a contented sigh, I snugged deeper into the pillow.

  I awoke to the sounds of screaming; I jerked upright in bed with my heart pounding. I was alone. The sun shining through the opened blinds made me squint. Rubbing my eyes, I looked at the clock. It read a littl
e after ten. Hearing a sound, I found Jagger peeping his head around the door. His eyes wide and his little mouth opened in a tiny O.

  “What’s going on?” I asked and motioned him into the room. He stepped inside and took both hands and used the weight of his body to push the door closed behind him.

  “Mommy is mad at Daddy,” he replied, and climbed onto the bed crawling to me. I wrapped him up in my arms.

  “You okay?” I asked, thinking to myself that I should have never listened to Devon. This had been a huge mistake. I should have insisted he take me home last night. From downstairs, Blair was still screeching. What was that woman thinking? She was scaring her child.

  “I’m okay. Daddy said for me to go play in my room.” He said and then settled in beside me, leaning back against the headboard. He was dressed in a pair of denim shorts and a blue T-shirt with a motorcycle on the front of it.

  I looked down at him. His wide blue eyes stared up at me. “You know, Mommy and Daddy fussing has nothing to do with you.”

  “I know,” he replied, frowning. “Why is Mommy mad at you? She was calling you bad names.”

  “Do you like me, Jagger?” I asked, silently hoping he would say yes. He nodded his head in reply, smiling. His tiny hand found mine.

  “I like you, too. Maybe Mommy thinks I want to take her place with you, but I could never do that,” I told him, his forehead wrinkled and his expression grew serious, as he appeared to consider my words.

  “I asked Daddy if you were going to be my new Mommy.” Oh no, I thought, immediately wondering what Devon had said to that question.

  “Did you do this in front of your mom?” I asked, imaging the vile names that Blair had called me. He nodded his head, confirming my fears. I groaned out loud. It was no wonder the woman was pissed. She already hated me. How in the hell was I going to explain whatever this was that was going on between his dad and me to a three year old when I didn’t even know myself?