Show Me the Sun

by Miriam Shumba

  Ashley arrived after Raven had showered and changed into jeans and a T-shirt.

  After a little bit of small talk Ashley came straight to the point.

  “I’m here to talk to you about Amari. I’ve been hearing all these rumors, too, and, well, some of them sound like facts.” Raven’s heart froze at those words but she hoped it didn’t show. Ashley wasn’t the type to gossip. She wanted to keep what little dignity she could. She didn’t say anything and gave Ashley the expression that she wanted her to carry on.

  “I’m here as your friend, Ray. I’ve admired you as a friend, especially the way you handle your life. You and Amari are both so down to earth. You care about the community and live your lives admirably.”

  “Thanks, Ashley,” Raven managed.

  “But I’m sure you know that with the life Amari leads some woman or other is bound to end up in his bed.” Raven nearly jumped from her seat. Her skin went cold and her heart started racing.

  “I have some inside information on what goes on and I’ve been friends with one or two wives who are involved in this business. Trust me, I know some of them tell me things or share what their husbands can be up to, on the road and so on. It’s kind of understood.”

  Understood? What kind of ridiculous crap is that? Raven raged inside but kept a small and distant smile on her face.

  “Strange, isn’t it,” Raven commented quietly.

  “I know. I know you, and I don’t agree with it, but I’m sure you’ve spoken to Juanita, too.” Juanita was married to Blake Williams, who was now playing for the Chicago Bulls. Juanita continued with her marriage as if nothing had happened and even kissed her husband in public a few weeks after the whole incident swirled around the city. Why should she worry about Amari and just one affair?

  Because he’s going to leave you, a voice said, and Raven looked back at Ashley as if she had spoken Raven’s thoughts out loud.

  “Call me if you need to talk, Raven. I know it must be hard for you,” Ashley said sympathetically. She looked genuinely concerned, but Raven wasn’t going to talk to anyone outside her family until she spoke to Amari. She watched Ashley’s car disappear as it turned left at the end of the drive. The house phone rang and she broke out in a sweat when she saw Amari’s name on the caller ID.

  “Raven?” Amari’s voice reached her and caused her heart to beat even faster. She had rehearsed what she would say to lead to the conversation about Lexie, but now that he had finally called all her calm words left her mind.

  “When were you going to tell me?” she screamed instead.

  Chapter 22

  “It’s not what you think,” Amari pleaded.

  “You don’t even know what I’m thinking.” Raven listened to the silence, wondering if he had disconnected the call. She was relieved and her anger increased when she heard him clear his throat. This was her Amari, but right at that moment she felt like she was talking to a stranger, an unknown person who she once knew but didn’t know anymore.

  “I’ve been trying to call you. I’ve heard all about you and Lexie, Amari. Your secret is out.”

  Amari began his explanation, but nothing eased the pain in Raven’s chest. “I turned my phone off because somebody leaked my number and reporters kept calling. The media is exaggerating. We just work together.”

  “Oh, come on, Amari. I’m your wife! Very reliable sources tell me something is going on between you and your co-star. Pictures of you and Lexie don’t lie. Please save us some time and just tell me what you want.”

  “Let me come home so we can talk in person.” She listened, loving his voice but realizing he was no longer her safe place. He was hurting her ten times more than all those people who had called her names, and who had made her feel like she didn’t measure up to the world’s standard of beauty.

  “No, Amari, I want to know now, this minute. Are you in love with her? Do you want to be with her?”

  “No! It was a mistake.”

  Raven had been standing in her bedroom, but at his words she sank to the carpet holding her stomach as if she had been shot.

  “It didn’t mean anything,” Amari said when she didn’t respond. “Raven, are you there?”

  “What didn’t mean anything?” She wished she could look into his eyes and read them herself. For all she knew he was with Lexie right now, holding her long, manicured hand. They could be lying in bed together plotting what to say to her, gullible naive Raven.

  “I can’t discuss this on the phone, Ray. I’ll be home on Friday,” Amari said.

  “Don’t bother coming here, Amari. I don’t want to see you.”

  “Come on, Raven. We need to talk. The phone makes everything sound worse, but I’ll speak to you this Friday. I’ll explain everything.”

  “I said I don’t want to see you. I think we should separate for a while,” Raven said, her voice getting colder as her heart froze.

  “Rave. What do you mean, separate? I love you.”

  “Good for you, Amari, but I mean it. I don’t want to see you until I’m ready. Don’t come to my house, don’t call me. Just leave me alone!” Raven then threw the phone against the wall, where it left a black mark and fell to the floor. The phone rang immediately, but Raven went and pulled all the phones off the hook, almost hurting her hands in the process. As she walked around the massive house Amari’s words kept hitting against her brain.

  It was a mistake. It didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake. It didn’t mean anything.

  * * *

  Raven feared that Amari would come back to their home so after talking to him she packed her bags and moved in with her parents. She went to her old bedroom on the corner of the house overlooking the driveway. Philip gave her space and Clare hovered over her treating her like an invalid. She told them both she didn’t want to talk about Amari just yet and didn’t want their advice. She wanted time to think without people telling her the latest news about Amari and Lexie. Just the way the news did when a terrible tragedy happened. They talked about it every minute, adding an extra word, adding the latest information just to make their audiences feel worse. That’s what all those well-meaning calls were doing to her. They were killing her one word at a time.

  The worst weekly tabloid even printed pictures of her wedding to Amari, calling her the jilted wife of the famous basketball player. They had headlines screaming LEXIE’S FALLEN IN LOVE WITH AMARI AND WANTS TO HAVE HIS BABY!

  That headline felt like a stab in the heart.

  On Friday Clare came upstairs after Raven had taken her shower. When Clare knocked, Raven was sitting on her bed, flipping through a home decorating magazine without seeing much.

  “Can I come in?” Clare asked.

  Raven turned to look at her mother. “Sure, Mom,” Raven answered. Clare walked slowly into the room and sat on the bed.

  “Amari’s here.” Her announcement made Raven’s scowl deepen.

  “I said I don’t want to see him,” Raven said, her eyes appealing to her mother for understanding. Her heart was racing and she felt sweaty and hot all of a sudden.

  “Honey. You should at least talk to him. He’s still your husband,” Clare reminded her, taking her hand.

  “Mom, please. He stopped being my husband when he betrayed me.”

  “Come on, Ray. You are not the first person that this has happened to. You of all people should realize how lucky you are to have a man like Amari.”

  “What do you mean ‘you of all people,’ Ma?” Raven demanded, her anger showing in her brown eyes.

  “I’m just saying he’s willing to explain all those tabloids. Why don’t you give him a chance?”

  “Just say it. I’m not pretty enough for him and I should be grateful that he sleeps with some pretty actresses but still comes back to me, right? Is that what you mean, Ma?” Raven’s face was very close to Clare’s and Clare stood up, moving away from her.

  “I can see you are not being reasonable, and it might be better if he doesn’t see you anyway at this
moment.”

  “I’ll talk to him when I’m ready, Ma. Just tell him to go away right now.”

  Raven walked to the window and her heart ached as she looked at Amari’s black Escalade in the driveway. After a few minutes she saw him walk out and get back in his vehicle. She almost cried out to him. She missed him. She would do anything to erase what had taken place but she couldn’t. He had betrayed her and she couldn’t trust her heart to hope and believe that he really loved her. She could only take one heartbreak at a time.

  * * *

  Amari was back filming the final few scenes while also getting ready for the new NBA season that would be starting in the fall. How long could she keep avoiding him? Why couldn’t she face him? What was she going to do?

  Her decision came quicker than she would have liked. While at the checkout counter two magazines had Lexie Hart on the cover holding the twins with the screaming headline Lexie Hart Pregnant! and another one saying Lexie Hart and Amari Thomas Expecting Their First Baby!

  After reading the headlines she didn’t know how she managed to get home, but when she did she called her father at his office.

  “Daddy. Please come home now. I need to talk to you.” Philip was home within twenty minutes with Clare right beside him.

  “What is it, Rave?” Clare asked, walking towards her where she sat on the couch, her legs under her. Her eyes were red from crying and a box of tissues sat on the floor.

  “Mom. Dad! Help me get a divorce lawyer. It’s over.”

  Chapter 23

  “Oh, my God, what have I done?”

  “Amari. Don’t ask God what you done, you did it yourself!”

  “Ma, I know I did, but I don’t know how it happened.” Gloria rolled her eyes then put the macaroni and cheese in the oven. Amari stood in front of her looking like a lost little boy. Her heart broke for him, and at the same time she felt like wringing his neck. He was lucky the island in the kitchen separated them. Her whole family was going to be there for the family barbecue at her house and she would have to put up with more of their questions and comments. She made sure Amari made it home because she was not facing her nosy relatives alone. If anybody asked her anything, she would point right at her son’s head.

  “What’s Raven saying now?”

  “Divorce, Ma. She wants a divorce,” Amari said.

  Gloria shook her head and clicked her tongue, closing her eyes as if that would make the whole situation disappear. “I suppose she wants you to pay her alimony?”

  “She doesn’t want anything from me, Ma. Raven is not like that. She-she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” Now Gloria reached over and hit him on the arm.

  “Ouch, Ma.” Amari pretended to be more hurt than he really was.

  “So now you care about her?” Gloria questioned her son. She hurt for him, but she still wondered why Raven was being so difficult. Amari clearly loved her, not Lexie. Gloria hadn’t spent much time with Raven. They lived too far from each other and had separate lives. But there were some things that annoyed her about Raven. Her desire to wait to have children, for instance. The way her parents seemed to want to control her, and now Amari, too. Especially Clare. She resented that. She also wished that Raven would visit her more often. Despite all the misgivings, she still loved Raven because Amari loved her. She looked at her son now as he professed his love for his wife.

  “I always did, Ma. I always cared about my wife.”

  “That was a pretty great way of showing her.” Gloria took the bowls she had been using and dumped them in the sink, and then continued to wipe the counter.

  Amari perched on the edge of the stool and looked at his mother, shaking his head. Gloria continued to speak.

  “I love Raven. She’s like the daughter I never had. She’s respectful, loyal and honest. She’s like a breath of fresh air. Now this Lexie person, she’s like Monique as far as I’m concerned with her calculating ways and her selfishness.”

  Amari rubbed his forehead and shook his head at the same time. He looked at his mother, not sure what to say. Nothing he could say would make everything all right.

  “It’s a pity, son. Do you want to divorce her?”

  “No.” The word came out as a groan.

  Gloria looked at Amari surprised. “Don’t you want to be free to be with Lexie?”

  “No.”

  Gloria shook her head again. “Son. So you want to keep your wife?”

  “I love Raven. She won’t even talk to me. Maybe she’ll talk to you.”

  “What can I say?”

  “Nothing, Ma, don’t worry. I’m just thinking out loud.”

  “Well, if you want that woman then you better get her back. I didn’t finish my good heel for nothing dancing at your wedding only to have you divorce before you even give me a grandchild.”

  Now Amari looked at Gloria with strain in his eyes. Gloria started shaking her head again.

  “Don’t tell me that Lexie is really pregnant,” Gloria said. “I read about that but I didn’t believe it. Is she with child?” Amari just stared at his mother, his lips pressed together. “Answer me Amari. Is she?”

  “I don’t know, Ma. I really don’t think so. I don’t know.”

  “How can you not know?”

  “I haven’t spoken to her since the movie wrapped. I didn’t even stay for the wrap party. Of course the producers are not happy with me right now. The only thing I care about is getting Raven back.”

  “Oh, you really mean that, don’t you? You really love that girl, son?”

  “I do.”

  “Then do everything in your power to win her back. You’re going to have to give up your pride. Can you do that?” Gloria looked into Amari’s sad eyes and knew her answer.

  * * *

  Lexie read the latest tabloid and grinned wickedly. She couldn’t help it. She liked it when her plans started to fall into place. Her tireless planning and plotting were beginning to pay off. Her hard work was being rewarded. It felt so good!

  The media had helped make her dreams come true. She knew their power. They could make or break anybody’s career. The media was a machine that could make even mediocre movies into blockbusters. The media could make relationships or destroy them. It was all about image, reputation, just smoke and mirrors and getting the public to eat it all up like caviar.

  She loved seeing her face in magazines. No, it was more about being loved by the public, and she had to admit, it was about vanity. When celebrities had babies they couldn’t wait to sell their pictures for magazines. They sold wedding pictures and the public ate it all up. As a black woman she knew that it wasn’t easy to make the tabloids. She was one of the lucky ones that the media were interested in, and she had worked hard to get it that way.

  She dropped the magazine on top of a script she had been reading. That magazine had a white person on the cover, of course, but inside there was a page about her and Amari. This hadn’t really come up by accident. She had made sure that the right people heard so she could get some print space and then act shocked when interviewed.

  Lexie walked to her luxurious bathroom. She loved the tropical feel of the room, the huge tub that she filled with water and bubbles, using products from her favorite spa. After undressing she lay back in the warm water and let her mind wonder to the night she had finally seduced Amari. It hadn’t been that hard once she had him. The hard part was winning his trust. What helped was the element of surprise. In the beginning she never wanted him to know her intentions. She wanted him relaxed around her, acting like a coworker when in fact she was weaving her web and entangling him in it. The lunches seemed innocent enough but he didn’t know about the photographers capturing every moment. They became friends fast. She made friends with males very easily. She had to admit she didn’t have any female friends. The only women who were close to her were those who worked for her. Once Amari was like a buddy, she was ready for the next step.

  Her toughest challenge was to get Amari alone. She knew
that once that happened then the battle was over. He would have nowhere to go.

  It wasn’t easy to decide how to lure him to her place. She thought of many different ideas but eventually settled on a private dinner.

  “Amari, you should come over tonight. I’m having a few people from the set over for dinner.”

  Amari liked the sound of the few people. He agreed to arrive there around 8 p.m. When he arrived at Lexie’s house he was surprised to only find Renata and Tony Madiland, Lexie’s agent, as the only other guests.

  “Welcome, Amari. My other friends cancelled last minute. You don’t mind, do you?” she had asked.

  “No, it’s fine.”

  The chef had created a wonderful dinner of decadent sea food. They talked about the movie business mostly. Renata suddenly had to leave and that left him and Tony, who had a lot of ideas for other projects that Amari could get involved in.

  “I’m hearing a lot of good things about you. The movie business can be a great stepping stone to other things and vice-versa. It’s all about getting the right exposure.”

  “You don’t have to convince me,” Amari said. “I know the power of the media but I want to use it for good. To be a good role model but also to create opportunities for children who otherwise wouldn’t have that chance.”

  Lexie liked how the evening was going but almost panicked when Tony announced he had to leave and Amari also stood up.

  “Amari, do you have a few minutes? I wanted to show you how that scene worked out. I managed to get an advance of the scene from the director.”

  Amari hesitated for a minute, and then nodded. “I have a few minutes.”

  “I’ll just walk Tony out,” Lexie said, taking Tony to the door. Amari was sitting down when she came back a few seconds later. She liked the way he was dressed. He wore a white shirt and loose-fitting slacks. She watched him for a few seconds, her desire brewing. At last.

  “We can take a look at it in the theatre,” Lexie said casually.

  “You have your own movie theatre?” he asked, walking into the darkened room at the corner of Lexie’s mansion.