Play It Again, SAHM
Page 12
Let’s talk about that, okay?
Jocelyn
From: Brenna L
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Retreat
I think a couple of workshops would be great. Here’s my list:
1) Better housecleaning—so I don’t feel like I have to do it every day.
2) Dealing with in-laws—especially ones that live on the opposite end of the driveway and co-own the farm you work for a living.
3) Talking to spouses about difficult topics—like his critical attitude toward his son.
4) Recognizing potential health or development problems in our kids and how to get help—like when that son is falling further behind every single day.
Any of those spark some ideas?
Brenna
From: Dulcie Huckleberry
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Retreat
Hey Brenna, sorry to hear little Pat is still having some problems!
I think maybe we should have workshops for those of us who are trying to work from home. Stuff on business topics like taxes and managing a home office when you have clients and you don’t want them seeing your kids’ toys and dirty dishes all over.
Dulcie
From: VIM
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Retreat
Those are terrific ideas, y’all! Maybe we could have some workshops on how to deal with kids at certain ages—like terrible twos, terrible tweens and terrible teens?
Sure could use the advice!
Veronica
From: Iona James
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM] Retreat
Hello everyone,
This is starting to sound like so much fun, but couldn’t we keep this retreat simple and uncluttered? That is how my soul recharges, anyway. We can always learn from books and teachers, but the chance to connect with our friends is rare indeed.
Your friend in spirit,
Iona James
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: Dorian Keller
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Keller:
I’m writing in regards to Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland’s denial of our request for mental health services for our two children. We would like for them to be approved to visit Dr. Jamison at the Attachment and Post Trauma Adoption Clinic in Baltimore. Our request for approval has been denied, and we would like further explanation on this as quickly as possible.
Thank you,
Zelia Muzuwa
From: Dorian Keller
To: Zelia Muzuwa
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Muzuwa:
Thank you for contacting Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland. You are a valued member of our health family. In order to answer your question, I need the Mental Health Services Pre-Approval number from your Pre-Approval Form. Once I have that number, I can look up the account info and respond to your question.
Thank you,
Dorian Keller,
Pre-Approval Claims Representative
Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: Dorian Keller
Subject: Re: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Keller,
I am a female. It’s “Ms. Muzuwa.” And would the Mental Health Services Pre-Approval Number be that long one I put in the subject heading of the e-mail? The one labeled “Mental Health Services Pre-Approval Number” #51862439665B?
The sooner we can settle this, the better. My children’s appointment is next week and it took nearly six months to get an appointment, so we need to have this settled before Tuesday, September 15.
Thank you,
Zelia Muzuwa
From: Dorian Keller
To: Zelia Muzuwa
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Muzuwa:
Thank you for contacting Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland. You are a valued member of our health family. In order to assist you with Pre-Approval #51862439665B, I need to know what your question is about the Pre-Approval request. Please e-mail me with that information at your convenience.
Sincerely,
Dorian Keller,
Pre-Approval Claims Representative
Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: Dorian Keller
Subject: Re: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Ms. Keller:
Apparently, you did not keep my original e-mail. I’m cutting and pasting it below:
< I’m writing in regards to Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland’s denial of our request for mental health services for our two children. We would like for them to be approved to visit Dr. Jamison at the Attachment and Post Trauma Adoption Clinic in Baltimore. Our request for approval has been denied, and we would like further explanation on this as quickly as possible.>
Thank you,
Zelia Muzuwa
From: Dorian Keller
To: Zelia Muzuwa
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Muzuwa:
Our records indicate that you are not the primary insurance-holder on the account. We will need to have a signed affidavit from Tristan Muzuwa giving you permission to make decisions for the account. I will be happy to fax this form to you or mail it if you will send me either a fax number or your mailing address.
Thank you for contacting Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland. You are a valued member of our health family.
Sincerely,
Dorian Keller
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: Dorian Keller
Subject: Re: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Miss Keller:
Considering we have been with your insurance company for EIGHT years now, and I have called before on other matters, I find it very strange that you now need a signed affidavit in order to reply to a simple request for information. I am NOT feeling like a “valued member of your health family” at all.
My husband, Tristan Muzuwa, is on his way to your office at this moment to sign the affidavit, and then we are expecting to receive our information immediately following that.
Sincerely,
Zelia Muzuwa
Text Message From Tristan Muzuwa: For Zelia Muzuwa
——September 9/11:48 a.m.——
Still at ins. co. Am #846, currently serving #825. Taking rest of day off. Will be here long time.
Text Message From Zelia Muzuwa: For Tristan Muzuwa
——September 9/11:49 a.m.——
Ths is ridiculous! Wnt company?
Text Message From Tristan Muzuwa: For Zelia Muzuwa
——September 9/11:50 a.m.——
No. Stay home. I know your bad temper.
Text Message From Zelia Muzuwa: For Tristan Muzuwa
——September 9/11:51 a.m.——
I can b good when I try!
Text Message From Tristan Muzuwa: For Zelia Muzuwa
——September 9/2:15 p.m.——
Just got done. They will email you with explanation.
Text Message From Zelia Muzuwa: For Tristan Muzuwa
——September 9/2:19 p.m.——
they ke
pt u 4 nearly 3 hours! we should lodge a complaint! worst customer service EVER! Outrageous!
Text Message From Tristan Muzuwa: For Zelia Muzuwa
——September 9/2:22 p.m.——
This is why I said stay home, love. Good part is that I have rest of p.m. off now. No children. Can vent our angst together. Yes?
Text Message From Zelia Muzuwa: For Tristan Muzuwa
——September 9/2:22 p.m.——
OH YES.
From: Dorian Keller
To: Zelia Muzuwa
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Muzuwa:
Your approval request was denied because Attachment Disorder is not on Paeninnas Health’s list of approved services that we cover. We suggest that you work with your family physician for a referral to one of our approved providers and to receive a diagnosis from among the ones on our approved list.
Thank you for contacting us. You are a valued member of our health family.
Sincerely
Dorian Keller,
Pre-Approval Claims Representative
Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: Dorian Keller
Subject: Re: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Mr. Keller:
First of all, I AM A WOMAN! “Zelia” is a female name, not a man’s name! I am “Ms.” Or “Mrs.” Hey, I’ll even take a “Miss” at this point!
Second, what do you mean you don’t cover attachment disorder!!! After the runaround you have given us? The “can’t find your number” “can’t find your e-mail” “need to sign an affidavit” nonsense— THEN you tell me it’s not an approved diagnosis? As if I’m shopping for a pair of shoes or something!
Reactive Attachment Disorder is a legitimate mental disorder! My children are hoarding food, freaking out in grocery stores, destroying their sibling’s toys, lying and can’t even give us hugs without going nearly catatonic. We need help before they tear apart our family. You can’t deny us that help just because you don’t approve of the diagnosis!
Please, I’m begging you. We need this coverage. We need to make this appointment.
And if this is how you treat “members” of your “health family” I’d hate to see how you treat nonrelatives.
Zelia Muzuwa
From: Dorian Keller
To: Zelia Muzuwa
Subject: Mental Health Services Pre-Approval #51862439665B
Dear Mr. Muzuwa:
I understand your concern. Please know you are a valued member of our health family. I have spoken with my department supervisor, and he said that if you change the diagnosis to “Developmental Trauma Disorder” it will meet our approval requirements.
However, I also am noting that you have used up your available Mental Health Service Visits for the year. This will mean you are not eligible for Mental Health Service Coverage until the start of the next calendar year. Please plan accordingly when you choose your mental health services for next year.
You are always welcome to visit the health provider of your choice, regardless of coverage. We cannot prevent you from receiving care for any health issue you desire. But in order to provide the highest quality service to all our health family, we have to enforce the limitations of your particular plan. We regret the inconvenience this may have caused you.
Sincerely,
Dorian Keller,
Pre-Approval Claims Representative
Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland
From: Zelia Muzuwa
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Slow typing for a while
Hey everyone,
Fractured my right wrist yesterday while throwing a temper tantrum about our insurance company. Long story—wrist too sore to tell you right now. Had to go to emergency room, and have a soft cast for next six weeks.
Just got e-mail today from insurance company. Cut and pasted here:
Regarding Emergency Care Claim #5987123406346478C: This claim is denied because Paeninnas Health Insurance of Maryland does not cover out-of-network emergency room visits. We regret the inconvenience this may have caused you, and we encourage you to choose in-network facilities for your next emergency care visit.
Thank you for doing business with us. You are a valued member of our health family.>
I’d cry, but it makes my wrist hurt too bad. There had better be a special place reserved in the Land of Fire and Brimstone especially for insurance companies. And in the meantime, I really hope and pray that somehow we can afford to get our kids to the Attachment Specialist next week.
Z
From: Rosalyn Ebberly
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: [SAHM I AM] TOTW
September 21: Killing Comparisons
Dear SAHMurais,
Thanks to the enlightening insights of my counselor—despite the fact that Chad has indeed decided to quit going to our sessions— I have come to see the danger of the Comparison Enemy.
This silent killer ruins our own lives and happiness by polluting them with thoughts about how much better other people are. We MUST attack and destroy this enemy of comparison!
I never before realized how much I do this. I have learned it’s a harmful game to play, even when you feel like you are coming out on top. So I’ve come up with a way to destroy once and for all the comparisons that make me feel inadequate or inferior to others—or at least I hope this will work.
What I have done is use pictures or written descriptions of the people in my life who I compare myself to. Then I wrote down how I compare myself to them and why they make me feel inadequate. I put it all into a little booklet—using the finest handmade paper and environmentally responsible soy ink, complete with the photos and/or illustrations and thoughts from me. I have even hand-bound the pages together. It’s now a handsome little folio. I call it my Comparison Hall of Shame.
Now, I am about to take the sharpest knife I own and PLUNGE it into this book! I’m going to hack away at all the pages until every last photo is mutilated beyond recognition. I’m going to slash away at each and every word until there are none left to accuse me!!! I WILL MAIM AND DESTROY WITHOUT MERCY EVERY LAST COMPARISON!
brb.
Ahhhh, that felt good! But I’m not yet done.
Now, I’m going to throw all the shreds and scraps of my once-beautiful book INTO MY FIREPLACE! The pieces ignite and fire laps them up, making them glow and curl and blacken! I am visualizing myself free from the chains of comparison! My spirit SOARS on the wings of newfound confidence!!!
Slight mishap just now…the flue didn’t open properly and we now have smoke all over our living room. Chad is going to be furious!
I will let you know how it goes the rest of the week. In the meantime, feel free to share your inadequacies and what you’re doing about them.
Confidently yours,
Rosalyn Ebberly
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
From: Brenna L
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM]
TOTW September 21: Killing Comparisons
So, Ros, who was in your book? We want to know who you symbolically murdered. Anybody we know?
Brenna
From: Rosalyn Ebberly
To: SAHM I Am
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM]
TOTW September 21: Killing Comparisons
I am not telling who was in my book. And it was NOT symbolic murder! What an awful idea! It was a spiritual and psychological exerci
se is all. And it was private, so as far as you are all concerned, NO—nobody you know.
Rosalyn
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1 (NASB)
From: Brenna L
To: “Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject: Re: [SAHM I AM]
TOTW September 21: Killing Comparisons
Definitely somebody we know, or she wouldn’t be so reluctant to tell us who. The whole loop is buzzing about it— I’ve gotten a bunch of e-mails. They’re all speculating about which one of us was in her book.
Who do you think? Who in the world could possibly make Rosalyn Ebberly feel inadequate? I think we need to find out! Imagine how much confidence that person would get from that knowledge. Being able to intimidate The Great and Mighty Roz. Who would have thought that was even possible?
Brenna
Instant Message
ZeeMuzzy: you’re joking, right?
Farmgirl04: About?
ZeeMuzzy: being interested in rosalyn’s stupid little book.
Farmgirl04: I don’t know. I think it’s interesting. Half-joking, maybe.
ZeeMuzzy: i think rosalyn gets far too much of our attention.
Farmgirl04: I know you do. But you’re bitter and jaded. :) Besides, it’s a nice distraction from the doctor’s appointment hanging over my head.
ZeeMuzzy: what appointment is that?
Farmgirl04: For Little Pat. To figure out why he’s so far behind. I’d rather drag Darren in to a shrink and have his head checked—his attitude toward Pat is getting worse all the time. Makes me SO mad!
ZeeMuzzy: kids with problems can really stress out a family. i should know.
Farmgirl04: That reminds me—were you able to work out the appointment with the attachment specialist for your kids?
ZeeMuzzy: not exactly. the insurance company refused to find a way to grant us more visits. so we’re stuck until the end of the year.
Farmgirl04: That’s rotten.
ZeeMuzzy: yeah, but it turned out okay after all. somebody anonymously paid for the doctor’s visit.