A Sinful Calling

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  He’s still lying. He’s going to tell even more people about you than just Dillon. He’s just waiting for the right opportunity, and then you won’t have any family members who care about you.

  Alicia shook her head and closed her eyes. She fought against the voice, pushing it far out of her mind because no matter how angry she was with Levi, she knew he loved her and that he would never try to harm her. He also loved Dillon.

  She sat down across from where Levi had been sitting, and he walked around and hugged her again. She laid her head against his chest and burst into tears.

  “Baby, you know I’m here for you, and the only reason I think you should see someone is so you can feel better. You’re dealing with the loss of your former husband and the loss of your family, and that’s a lot for anyone. And then to hear you talk about what happened on social media with some of your readers…Is that why you stopped writing? Is that why it’s taking you so long to send your publisher the synopsis for your next book?”

  “Partly,” she said, sniffling. “I’m busy running the ministry, but after I lost so many readers I just didn’t feel motivated anymore. It didn’t seem like it was worth it.”

  “Gosh, baby, I’m so, so sorry, and we have to find a way to get you back on track. You loved writing too much to just give it up like that.”

  “If your readers don’t support you, writing books is pointless. The greatest joy of being an author is talking to your readers in person at events and communicating with them online. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the majority of my readers were very kind and supportive when Phillip died, but it was the few who basically said they hated me that caused me so much pain.”

  “I know you don’t think you need to see anyone, but baby, won’t you at least try? For you and for us. I’ll even go with you.”

  Alicia heard that awful voice chiming in again, but she tried to ignore it. Until she couldn’t.

  Don’t be a fool. Levi isn’t the man you think he is. He never was, but you just weren’t able to see it until now. He’s been tricking you and pretending all along, and he’s never really loved you. He only acted as though he did because he wanted to take you from Phillip. He also wanted Phillip to die, and that’s why he gave you that ultimatum. Remember when he told you it was either Phillip or him? And guess what else? He also doesn’t love God the way he keeps claiming to everyone. He’s only putting up a front to get what he wants, and if you stay with him he’ll destroy you. Get real, Alicia. Because how can a criminal stop being a criminal and all of a sudden find Jesus?

  “No,” Alicia screamed, pushing Levi away from her as hard as she could.

  He stumbled and frowned at her. “What in the world is wrong with you?”

  She got up from the chair. “You just leave me alone. You hear me?”

  “Baby, why are you acting like this?”

  Alicia squinted her eyes at him. “You think you’re slick, but I know what you’re up to. You say you love me, but now you’re sneaking around behind my back.”

  “But I told you why I went to Dillon. I didn’t know what else to do, and I’m worried about you.”

  “Well, don’t, because it’s like I keep telling you…I’m fine. And I’ve always been able to take care of myself.”

  Levi seemed stunned and like he didn’t know what else to say, and Alicia was glad because she didn’t want to hear any more of his lies. She’d been fooled by his deception for far too long.

  Alicia stared at him, rolled her eyes in disgust, and left the room.

  But as she backed away, the voice in her head got louder.

  Good for you. You did the right thing by walking away from him. Levi is a snake that can’t be trusted, and if you’re not careful, he’s going to betray you again…and again…and again. Just you wait and see, and the next time it’ll be much worse than just his going to your brother behind your back.

  Alicia pressed either side of her head again and went upstairs to their bedroom. All she wanted was for the voice to stop. She wanted it to stop torturing her. And, thankfully, it did. It was gone, and Alicia prayed it would never return.

  Chapter 9

  Normally, Dillon never arrived at the church before nine a.m., and especially not on Wednesdays, because he knew he had to teach Bible study in the evening. But this was one Wednesday morning he hadn’t been able to wait to leave the house. Two days had passed since he and Raven had gotten into it over her desire to become co-pastor, and sadly, she still wasn’t speaking to him. She was angrier than he’d realized, and last night she’d gone as far as sleeping in one of the guest bedrooms.

  Dillon had always loved the fact that he and Raven rarely disagreed about anything, and that they never had to raise their voices. But now she had gone from yelling at him to tossing him the silent treatment. She wanted to be co-pastor, and she didn’t want to take no for an answer.

  Dillon had even tried talking to her this morning before leaving, but she’d pretended he was invisible. He’d told her how sorry he was, but she’d barely blinked, and this was when he’d left and driven to the church.

  He couldn’t help trying once more to make things up to her, though, so he picked up his office phone and called her. It rang multiple times until her voice mail came on, so Dillon pressed the button on the base of his phone to get another dial tone. Then he tried her again. He did this two additional times, until she answered.

  “Why do you keep calling me over and over like some child?” she spat.

  “Because we need to talk. You’re upset, and we can’t go on like this.”

  “You should’ve thought about that before you gouged a knife in my back.”

  “Baby, please. You know that’s not true. We just have a difference of opinion is all.”

  “Well, if you don’t support me on this, don’t expect me to support you, either. Not with anything.”

  “But you know how some of the members feel about female pastors, right? Even when some of the female ministers have given sermons, not everyone has been happy about it.”

  “What does that matter to you? You’re my husband, and you’re supposed to have my back. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world.”

  “I do, but why would you want us to take a chance on turning people off? What if people start leaving the church, when our goal right now is to bring in more?”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because this is what God wants. I told you that already. Becoming co-pastor isn’t my decision, it’s His.”

  “Why don’t we wait until sometime next year?”

  “Why? What difference will that make?”

  “We’ll be finished with the marketing campaign by then, and I expect that a lot more people will have joined New Faith. We’ll be in a better position to make changes and hopefully not lose as many people.”

  Dillon didn’t believe a word he’d just said, but he was trying to buy more time before simply telling her that this was never going to happen.

  “Baby,” she said, softening her tone for some reason, “can’t you at least allow me to go before the elder board? Maybe they’d be more open to it than you think.”

  Dillon had been hoping she wouldn’t suggest that, but maybe explaining her desire to the board in person was exactly what needed to happen. They would never go for it, and once she realized that, maybe she would move on.

  “Let me talk to Levi,” he said. “But I’m sure it won’t be a problem.”

  “Thank you,” she said, seemingly content. “All I need is a chance to talk to them and let them know how good this will be for the church. How great it will be for the ministry.”

  “I agree,” he lied.

  “Do you think I’ll be able to come to the meeting right away next week?”

  Dillon closed his eyes, wishing she’d stop pushing so hard. “I don’t see why not.”

  “Although, I think we both know that even if they all vote no, you sti
ll have the right to make me co-pastor. You founded this church, and you can do anything you want.”

  “Yeah, but you know I’ve never had to do that. And I don’t want to start. The elders of this church are very loyal to me, and making demands and vetoing the majority’s decision will only cause problems.”

  “Well, I’m just saying. You can do whatever you want. But maybe that won’t be necessary, because I really believe they’ll be fine with it. They’ve always given me free rein with the way I run the women’s ministry, so it’s not like they don’t trust my judgment.”

  Dillon knew full well that one thing had nothing to do with the other, but he kept quiet. He wanted to make his case and try to change her mind, but he decided it wasn’t worth it. She was speaking to him again, and it was better to leave well enough alone.

  Dillon leaned back in his chair. “So are we good?”

  “We’re very good,” she said with joy in her voice. “And, baby, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. But hey, I need to get going. I’ll see you this afternoon when you get here, okay?”

  “See you then. Bye, baby.”

  Dillon set the phone on its base and relaxed even further in his chair. What a day, and already he couldn’t wait until next Tuesday so Raven could address the elder board. They’d never go along with her plans, and this would all be over. She wouldn’t be happy, but by then, he’d have thought up something else to appease her.

  Now, though, as he sat quietly, he reminisced on how far he’d come. How powerful he was within the church and Mitchell’s community. But it wasn’t enough. It was a nice start, but he wouldn’t be satisfied until he was bigger and better than his dad. He wouldn’t feel as though he’d arrived until his congregation was larger than Curtis Black’s. This was Dillon’s number one goal in life, and he was willing to do whatever he had to. Sure, increasing the membership was going to help him get there, but he didn’t want to wait years for it to happen. He wanted new members, and more than that, he wanted his dad’s parishioners. He wanted folks to leave Deliverance Outreach in droves and follow him.

  Dillon tossed a number of ideas around in his head but then became furious. His dad was a monster. Dillon had just told this story to his congregation for the umpteenth time on Sunday, but now he thought about it again. His dad had actually disowned him when he was a newborn baby and caused his mom to commit suicide. It was that particular thought that always turned Dillon’s anger to sorrow. If only Dillon had gotten to know his mom. If only she’d lived until he’d been old enough to spend time with her and remember it. Because as it was now, he had no memories of her at all. His aunt, Susan, had told him everything she could about her, but it hadn’t been the same. Dillon almost wanted to cry, but instead his pain turned to rage and he wanted revenge again. Well before moving back to Atlanta, he’d worked hard to scandalize his father’s name, but his plan had failed—thanks to that scatterbrained chick, Melissa, he’d been engaged to.

  Dillon hit his desk with his fist but then heard a knock at his door. He took a deep breath, trying to gain some composure.

  “Come in.”

  When the door opened, his friend Vincent walked in. “Hey, you got a few minutes?”

  “Of course, what’s up?”

  Vincent closed the door and took a seat. “Nothing really, just thought I’d stop by before my day gets started…and to ask you a very important question.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Was it as good as always?”

  “Was what as good as always?”

  Vincent smiled slyly. “Man, come on now. You know exactly what I mean. I’m talking about your girl Porsha. Because I know you went and bedded down that sweet thing…just like you do every Monday afternoon.”

  “Man, that was two days ago, and you’re just asking me about that?”

  “Shoot, better late than never. Now give up the four-one-one.”

  “Not much to tell, except the girl is still something else. And it’s like I keep saying: Hands down, she’s the best I’ve ever had.”

  “I hear you, but you’d better hope Raven never finds out about her.”

  “Isn’t that the truth? But I don’t see how she ever will. Unless you or Porsha get crazy in the head and decide to blab everything to her.”

  “Man, please. I think you know me much better than that, and I can’t see Porsha saying anything, either. Not when you’re givin’ her all that good lovin’.”

  “Yeah, well, you know how some of these side chicks can get. They become bold and want to be out front and center. They want you to divorce your wife and marry them. As a matter of fact, Porsha has already mentioned that very thing. Says she’ll be patient, but I’m not sure for how long.”

  Vincent frowned. “You wouldn’t actually divorce Raven for her, would you?”

  “Of course not, but I do have to make Porsha think I would. Gotta keep her happy and convinced, though, that I can’t even consider leaving Raven for at least another year. I’ve already explained to her that all a divorce would do right now is ruin any chance we have of growing the membership. It’ll destroy the ministry completely.”

  “I just hope she listens to you,” Vincent told him.

  “She will. I made things very clear to her on Monday.”

  “That’s good to hear. You keep her in her place, and there won’t be any drama.”

  “Exactly.”

  “But man, I gotta tell you,” Vincent said, “it’s this very kind of thing that makes me not want to ever get married. Dating is more than a notion itself, but that whole ball-and-chain action seems like more trouble than it’s worth.”

  Dillon shook his head. “You’re terrible, and I’m glad you don’t say those kinds of things to the young single men at this church. Especially the ones who attend your ministry meetings.”

  “Course not. I tell them all the time that it’s better to marry than to burn. I teach lessons from First Corinthians seven regularly.”

  “Good. None of us is perfect, but I want it to always be known that here at New Faith, we teach and encourage only what the Bible says.”

  “No doubt. So what else is up?”

  “Well, before you knocked on my door, I was thinking hard about my dad, man.”

  “Have you spoken to him?”

  “No, not in a while, but lately I’ve been getting more and more pissed off at him. He really did my mom wrong. He did us both wrong.”

  Vincent rubbed the bottom of his chin. “Look, man, you don’t have to convince me of anything. I know that’s your dad, and I don’t mean any disrespect, but that fool should’ve been brought down a long time ago. Your mom is dead because of him, and who would do something that dirty? Have a friend submit a DNA sample, just so you can deny your own child?”

  “I feel the same way, and that’s why I won’t be satisfied until we take his members from him. When I get done, my dad won’t even be able to pay the electric bill over at Deliverance. He won’t have more than a hundred people left.”

  “Sounds like a great idea to me,” Vincent said.

  “We just have to give folks a reason to want to leave there.”

  “Well, I’ve already given you the best idea possible.”

  “I know, but I’m just not sure about that. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to go that far.”

  “Well, it’s your call, and I’ll do whatever you say. Anything you need, I got you.”

  “I appreciate that, man. You’ve been my ride-or-die for the last three years, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough. Still can’t believe you moved all the way here from Atlanta just so you could help build the ministry. Especially since you don’t have any family in Illinois.”

  “It wasn’t a problem, and I’m here for you no matter what.”

  “I love my wife, my sister, and Levi big time, but with this, I need to do things my way. And I have to do it without either of them knowing about it.”

  “I agree. They’re all for growing the chur
ch, but they’d never go along with trying to ruin your father. Raven might be okay with it, but not Alicia and Levi.”

  “That’s why this has to remain between you and me. I don’t have a real plan yet, but I will.”

  “You’ll come up with something,” Vincent said. “Just like always.”

  Chapter 10

  Alicia flipped through multiple pages of New Faith’s latest financial report, mostly reviewing month-to-date tithing and offering deposits and overall expenditures. She would be meeting with Lynette Reynolds, New Faith’s CFO, later this afternoon, but she was glad to see that things were looking pretty good. Actually, they were looking exceptional, as the current numbers were much better than what Lynette had projected at the end of last year. The church and the overall ministry were taking in much more than they were paying out, which was great news for the upcoming marketing campaign. It would take thousands to do the kind of campaign Dillon had in mind, and thankfully, they’d have no problem paying for it. There were also noticeable funds sitting in the building fund account, and this would make all the difference when it was time to either expand at their current location or move to a larger church altogether. Alicia would have preferred the former, since they were situated in such a great location, but with the high rate of members joining all the time, buying or building a new church was likely their only option.

  Alicia scanned a few more pages and then took a quick look at the numbers from this past Sunday alone. People were not only giving tithes and offerings, but they’d also seemed to increase their contributions toward each of the thirteen special ministries. Interestingly enough, the women’s ministry tended to receive more dollars than the twelve that were led by the elders, which said a lot about Raven and her ability to get what she asked for. This was great when it came to certain areas of business relating to the church, but it was that same charm and intelligence of hers that might push Dillon to support her desire to become co-pastor. Alicia sure hoped it wouldn’t, though, because what a disaster that would be. There was just no way it could work, so Alicia prayed Dillon wouldn’t let it happen.