One Look

by Harlow James

  Chapter 35

  Jake

  My mind is jumbled as I drive home and process my day. Twelve hours ago, I was on a plane headed back to California, wondering what it would feel like coming back. I was eager to get to my house and drive my truck, and also to see my friends and teammates and step back on the turf at the stadium.

  But subconsciously I knew I was eager to see Danielle again too. Seems the universe heard my thoughts, because who would have known I would run into her so soon, let alone at the stadium where she now works.

  They say timing is everything, right? Everything happens for a reason, right?

  Well, if I didn’t believe that before, I definitely do now. It has to be much more than a coincidence that I run into her on my first day back in California and my first day back with the Rays. And now she works for the team and I’ll have to see her very frequently?

  Yeah, well played universe.

  I remember vividly how pissed I was that three years ago when I vowed to myself to fight for her, I received the news of my trade and it smothered the flame in my fight out cold.

  Well now, I’m going to take today’s occurrence as a sign that this is my shot, my second chance to do things right and not let her get away again. Being near her for only a few minutes and touching her hand after all this time still ignited a flash that heated my body from head to toe. No one would have a reaction to someone like that unless there was a connection there, a cosmic force pulling the two of us together. And our link was always beyond the physical, but my rapid pulse and hammering of my heart reminded me quickly that the physical spark we had was definitely explosive.

  I have a new mission now, besides getting re-acclimated with my team.

  I need to get Danielle back.

  My Uber driver arrives at my condo, dropping me off so I can enter the code and get through the gates.

  When I arrive at my home, turning the key in the lock feels surreal as I push the door open and see that nothing has really changed. The player who rented from me did a nice job of keeping things in prime condition, and Maria came through and deep cleaned before I got home. I kept paying her to take care of things while I was away, even though she was essentially taking care of someone else. I didn’t want her to lose the income I was giving her though, and now I’m glad I continued to pay her because she’s back to taking care of me.

  My phone rings in my pocket, pulling me from walking through my home, as I take in my brother’s picture on the screen.

  “What are you still doing up this late, Dillon?” I tease him, knowing he’s usually in bed by nine and it’s past ten.

  “Ha-ha. I know, I’m an old man. I just wanted to see how your first day back went,” he replies.

  “It was good to be home,” I state whole-heartedly. “The Rays have always been the team I felt at home with, and seeing the guys today, especially Rocky, felt fucking great.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  “I also ran into Danielle,” I offer, curious to see what my brother’s reaction is to this news. Even when Danielle and I were dating before, he was weary of me getting involved with a fan, for obvious reasons. But then once I knew it was serious, he fully supported me. He was also there after she broke up with me, so he knows how hard I took it.

  “Shit! Already? That didn’t take very long,” he declares surprisingly.

  “Yeah, she actually works for the team now.”

  “Small world. How was it seeing her again?” His voice almost sounds as hopeful as my heart is right now.

  “It was like riding a bike. It had been a while, but we both remember how it felt.” I know Danielle was just as affected as I was with seeing her again. She was trying to play it cool and even convince herself we couldn’t go there, but I saw how hard her nipples were in her top and I heard the hitch in her breath when I got close to her. If I had leaned in and kissed her like I wanted, I’m sure we never would have come up for air.

  “Jake, you just got back. Are you sure getting involved with her again is a good idea?” Leave it to Dillon to be the voice of reason.

  “Nothing happened, Dillion. At least, not yet. But fuck, I can’t ignore her and how I feel about her. I’ve spent the last three years trying to move on, and after seeing her for a total of ten minutes, my mind and my body are made up. It’s her I want. No one else.”

  “I’ve always admired your drive, Jake. Just be careful. You may think things are the same, but almost three years have passed and you aren’t the same person anymore. Chances are, neither is she, especially after everything she’s been through.”

  I let out a long sigh. He’s right. Even though my body tells me everything is the same and we should pick up where we left off, I know that time and life have changed us. I need to get to know the woman she is now, while reminding her of what we had before.

  “You’re right. This isn’t going to be easy, but damn if I let her go again, Dillon. She’s everything…”

  “Man, you’ve got it bad. I mean, I know you did back then, but hell if it didn’t take less than a day for you to come to that realization again.”

  “When you know, you know.”

  “I guess you’re right. Alright, it’s late and past my bedtime, but I just wanted to check in. I’ll talk to you soon, little brother. Be careful and don’t work too hard.”

  “Always,” I reply before ending the call.

  I get ready for bed, lying down in the mattress that Danielle and I once rolled around in, naked and optimistic, without a care in the world. And then the media and photographers dug their way inside our little slice of heaven, and life challenged us in more ways than one.

  I know that things won’t always be easy, but I still know now what I knew back then. Danielle and I could get through anything if we faced it together. I have to show her that. I need to show her that I’m not going anywhere and I want her in my life.

  One day, one look, and that’s all it took.

  I have a fight on my hands, and I just hope she’s ready to surrender because this is one fight I refuse to lose again.

  Chapter 36

  Dani

  “How was your day, Conner?”

  I was able to leave work early enough to pick up Conner from school today, something I haven’t been able to do in a long time.

  “Um, it was okay. I went to the baseball meeting,” he offers quietly while folding himself into the car and buckling.

  My ears perk up at the mention of baseball. Could he possibly be thinking about playing again as I suggested?

  “And how did that go?” I ask, not wanting to push too hard for him to follow through.

  “It was okay. I think… I think I might try playing again, Dani,” he mutters, avoiding eye contact with me, but looking down at his hands in his lap instead.

  “That makes me really happy, Conner,” I say, trying to fight the tears threatening to break.

  “Don’t cry about it.” He rolls his eyes, looking out the window as we cruise down the street, headed for Lochlin’s house. Lochlin invited us over for dinner tonight, and Rocky will be there, of course. We usually have dinner together at least one night a week. Lochlin is part of our family after all.

  “I’m not crying,” I say more childishly than I should have. “I’m just glad you’re considering it. I think it would be really good for you.”

  “Whatever. I’m not 100% sure yet anyway,” he says, and then ends the conversation.

  Just the fact that he went to the meeting gives me hope, which is something I’ve been feeling more of lately than I have in a while.

  Last week, running into Jake shook the solid ground of the world I’ve been tirelessly trying to rebuild. But the shake wasn’t the earth-shattering kind. No, it was more like the rock you feel on a rollercoaster as it climbs the first hill. You know what’s coming, but you still are antsy with anticipation of what that first drop will feel like.

  Seeing Jake again brought back these feelings that I’ve pushed aside and forc
ed myself to forget about. After I broke up with him and he moved to Seattle, there wasn’t any point in wondering if I’d made a mistake because his life had changed and so had mine. Conner became my focus and I reasoned with myself that my decision was the best one at the time. It was easier to believe that when I knew he was hundreds of miles away. But now knowing he’s returned, and I’ll have to see him very often---well, it makes a girl over-analyze everything. I really need a venting session with my best friend to clear my head.

  We arrive at Lochlin’s just before five, unfolding from the car and walking up to her small bungalow in Quail Hill, a quaint community on the outskirts of Irvine. Lochlin snatched up the cutest little house here a few months after we graduated and she secured her spot as the event coordinator for the Laguna Woods Golf Club.

  I gesture for Conner to knock on the front door since I’m carrying my purse and the bag filled with wine bottles I’m sure we will need at some point tonight while I rehash my dilemma of having Jake in my life once again.

  Lochlin opens the door, dressed in jeans and a simple grey t-shirt, with a black and white polka-dotted apron tied around her middle. What the hell happened to my best friend?

  “Hey, you two! Come on in!” She greets us animatedly, which is a little too chipper than usual.

  “Hey, Loch,” I reply, unsure of why she’s acting this way. “What’s going on? You’re acting strange.”

  She shakes her head and rolls her eyes, reaching for the bag of wine I was holding. “No, I’m not. Can’t a girl just be happy to have her best friend and her little brother over for dinner?” She walks away, avoiding my eyes while I size her up. She’s up to something, and the uneasy feeling that overcomes me comes on strong.

  I follow Lochlin into the kitchen where Rocky is dicing vegetables for a salad.

  “Hey, Dani. Conner. How’s it going?” He greets us, looking up from his knife to say hello.

  “It’s going. Conner actually had an interesting day,” I offer, hoping he’ll open up to Rocky and Lochlin about thinking of playing baseball again.

  He looks over at me with wide eyes, questioning why I said anything. I just shrug and wave my hand at him to encourage him to explain.

  “Yeah, well… I’m, uh… thinking about playing baseball again.”

  Lochlin and Rocky stop cold with whatever they’re doing, watching my brother to make sure they heard him right.

  “Really, Conner?” Lochlin beams, almost on the verge of tears like I was when he told me. “I think that’s a really great idea.”

  “Yeah, Conner. If you want, we can go out back and throw the ball around for a bit before dinner?” Rocky offers, setting the knife down and looking over at Lochlin to make sure she can finish the salad.

  “Yes, yes! You two go ahead. Dani and I have this all under control,” she waves them off as I notice a small smile tilt up on Conner’s face.

  “Yeah, we haven’t done that in a while,” Conner replies as he follows Rocky to the back door where he grabs his duffle and retrieves three gloves and a few balls before the two of them make their way outside.

  “Oh my gosh, Dani,” Lochlin turns to me, catching my attention. “I can’t believe he’s going to play again.”

  “I know, Loch. When he told me today, I almost lost it. I think he really needs it. He has so many emotions going through him right now and no way to deal with them. I mentioned the idea to him last week, but I wasn’t sure he’d consider it. I truly hope he follows through.”

  “That would be perfect, Dani. I worry about him.”

  “Me too, Loch. So… look at you all domesticated,” I say, looking her up and down and effectively changing the subject. “I never thought I’d see the day when Lochlin Murphy was in a committed relationship,” I tease her.

  She peers up at me from slicing the vegetables Rocky left behind. “You and me both. But gosh, Dani. He makes me so happy, I just…”

  I reach for her hand and give her a light squeeze. “I know, Loch. I’m so happy for you, really.”

  “I never thought I’d be this girl, cooking dinner and waiting for my man to come home, but it’s what I look forward to the most,” she shrugs with a smile as she turns to stir something on the stove.

  Watching my best friend conquer her fears and let Rocky in was amazing to watch, because if there is anyone who deserves to be happy and in love, it’s her.

  But then a wave of sadness comes over me as I realize that I could have had that too. With Jake. I’m twenty-six and not even close to being tied down, or married and having children. I know Lochlin and Rocky aren’t there yet either, but you can tell by just looking at them, that that’s where they’re headed.

  I start to wander out of the kitchen, clutching the glass of wine I discretely poured for myself, when I notice there is one extra place setting on the dining room table, next to the spot I usually sit in.

  “Hey, Loch?”

  “Yeah?” She calls from the kitchen.

  “Why is there an extra setting on the table?”

  Silence.

  “Loch?”

  And just then there’s a knock on the door which makes my pulse speed up instantly.

  “Dani, can you get that, please? I’m kind of busy in here,” she calls back, so I know she heard my question before and was ignoring me. I don’t like the uncertainty I feel, my gut telling me that I might know who’s going to be on the other side of this door.

  I brace myself as I turn the knob and pull the hunk of wood towards me, taking in the sight of the man who I want to cook dinner for, and could have if I hadn’t pushed him away.

  “Hi, Danielle,” Jake greets me as he fully comes into view, dressed in black jeans and a dark green Henley, stretched tight across his chest and arms, highlighting every bulge of muscle he’s accumulated in our time apart. God, why does he have to be so strikingly handsome and cut?

  “Hi, Jake. Um, what are you doing here?” I ask, even though I know I shouldn’t.

  “Uh, Rocky and Lochlin invited me over for dinner. Is that a problem?”

  “Jake! Welcome back!” Lochlin charges at him from behind me, embracing him in a friendly hug before pulling away and giving me a tight-lipped smile. Yeah, she knows she’s in trouble with me right now.

  “Come in! Rocky and Conner are outside throwing the ball around. You should join them,” she exclaims, ushering him inside and shutting the door behind him, before pushing him towards the back door leading out to the backyard.

  “Okay. Uh, thanks for having me over, Lochlin. Everything smells amazing,” he offers before giving me a sideways glance and then retreating outside.

  “Anytime!” She answers back before he shuts the door as I stand there at the front door still, feeling completely blindsided.

  “Lochlin Marie!” I shout, practically stomping my way back towards the kitchen.

  “Dani, don’t start.” Her tone is stark, a complete one-eighty from the bubbly woman she just was with Jake.

  “Excuse me? Why didn’t you tell me Jake was coming?”

  She stands in front of me, grabbing my wine and chugging the rest of it before setting the glass on the counter, and then places her hands on her hips.

  “Because I knew if I did, you would come up with some excuse as to why you couldn’t come tonight. Jake is one of Rocky’s best friends, and you’re going to be seeing him a lot now, so you need to get over it. Or, get under him,” she winks at me, making my jaw drop in response.

  “Lochlin!” I shout at her in disbelief.

  “What? Don’t act like you haven’t been thinking about that all week. I knew you would come here tonight looking to vent about what to do about Jake, and hey, I love you and I’m here for you. But like I said, the fact that he’s back and you’re working for the Rays at the same time isn’t just a coincidence, Dani. I know you still love him, so take things as they come and see where it leads you.”

  I know she’s right, and even though it took me by surprise, seeing Jake when I ope
ned the door sent those butterflies a flight in my stomach again. It doesn’t matter how much time has passed, my body still reacts to him like it did the first time. Him being here and having to deal with these feelings is beyond scary, but maybe Lochlin’s right. Maybe this is fate that’s pulling us back together.

  I pull on my necklace and then find my bracelet on my wrist, the same one Jake gave me for my birthday when we were together. I’ve never taken it off, even though it hurt to look at it. Although we weren’t in each other’s lives anymore, his gift meant so much to me, I couldn’t bring myself to remove it. I guess it was my own form of punishment too, in some sick and twisted way---a way to remind myself that I needed to trust my path, even when I made shitty decisions along the road.

  “Fine, Loch. But I’m not happy about being surprised with this little encounter,” I scoff, making sure she knows I’m still annoyed with her.

  “This won’t be the last time I piss you off, Dani, so don’t worry. It doesn’t bother me,” she snarks back and then winks. “Now please go tell the boys to come in and wash up. Dinner is ready,” she says, channeling her inner Florence Henderson.

  I laugh at her, still in awe of this new role she’s taken on in her life, while opening the door to the outside.

  The sight I’m greeted with of Rocky, Conner, and Jake throwing a baseball around melts me into a puddle, making it hard for me to keep standing. I brace my hands on the doorjamb, watching the smile on my brother’s face as he plays catch with not only two major league baseball players, but two men who are prime examples for him to have around.

  He needs this and my eyes well with the reality that maybe having Jake around isn’t the worst thing in the world.

  Jake peers over at me, catching me watching the three of them, offering a small wave to pull me from my emotional moment. I wave back to him and shake my head, which makes him look at me curiously.

  “Dinner’s ready, boys!” I declare, watching Conner dive to make the catch that veered off from Rocky’s hand when I interrupted their game.