Riptide (A Renegades Novel)

by Skye Jordan

  “It’s a lot different,” she said earnestly while keeping her voice down. “With me, she won’t have a string of one-night stands wandering in and out of her life. Watching her father hook up with different women all the time isn’t the way for a young girl to build confidence or self-esteem. And it’s even more unsettling for a girl whose mother died and who is separated from the woman who raised her. Sophia has enough hurdles to overcome as it is. She doesn’t need mixed messages about a woman’s role in—”

  “Stop,” he ordered in a low but firm tone so he didn’t wake Sophia. “Just stop. This conversation took a very wrong turn somewhere.”

  She pulled in a breath, held it, and closed her eyes again.

  “I’ll admit I’ve played my life fast and loose. But I haven’t been raising a child. I realize none of this will be easy—on either of us. But just the few hours I’ve spent here tonight has shown me the trade-off will be worth all of it.”

  She exhaled heavily. “Let’s put her to bed. I don’t want her waking up while we’re talking about this.”

  Zach clenched his teeth. He felt so out of control. He was never out of control. His life was always moving in the direction he wanted it to move. And while he might not be going places as fast as he’d like, he was still going where he wanted to go.

  Until now. Now, he was at sea in a hurricane.

  Tessa slipped away from Sophia, shifting the little girl’s weight to Zach. Then she turned and reached for Sophia. But her phone buzzed again.

  “Dammit,” she whispered, pulling her phone from her back pocket and sighing her answer into the phone, “Good evening, Senator Rose. It’s awfully late in DC.” She propped a hand on her hip. “Yes, I understand your concerns.”

  She went quiet again, listening, and when Zach realized her call wasn’t going to end anytime soon, he gently pulled Sophia close to his body and pushed to his feet in an awkward move Surfer magazine certainly wouldn’t be raving about.

  Sophia murmured and shifted. Zach froze, fearing she would freak if she woke and found Zach holding her, not her mother. But Sophia’s eyes stayed closed. Her lips parted on an unintelligible word, then relaxed into a rosebud pucker. Her cheeks were round and rosy, her blonde curls wispy against her smooth skin. She looked different sleeping. Like an infant, not a three-year-old. For an instant, Zach saw a glimpse of the years he’d missed, and another dagger stabbed his heart.

  He managed to get his legs working and followed Tessa into a bedroom while she continued talking on the phone in undertones. Zach stopped listening to her side of the conversation when she said something about constituents. Politics was way the hell out of his wheelhouse, which made him wonder—again—why he was still so attracted to Tessa. He had more in common with Kerry and Candy, surfer girls with no future, looking for nothing more than a good time.

  At least he had until this precious little thing came into his life.

  Zach laid Sophia on the bed with her Pegasus, trying to figure out what the hell was going on inside him. Tessa’s sparkly T-shirt rode up around Sophia’s belly, exposing perfectly smooth baby skin and her nighttime pull-up diaper—something he hadn’t even known existed before tonight. Sophia rolled onto her side and buried her face in a pillow.

  Zach watched her for a moment. He’d caught glimpses of himself in her face tonight—in her eyes and nose, the shape of her face. Sophia certainly had the intense side of his personality, though he wasn’t sure that kind of thing was genetic. She looked deceptively small in the big bed, nothing like the force that had jumped on him to say thank you earlier. Her legs, belly, and face were still softly rounded with baby fat. She was delicate and perfect, and just looking at her made Zach’s entire chest ache.

  “Kiss-kiss…” Sophia murmured without opening her eyes.

  Without a clue what that meant, Zach pulled a sheet over her.

  “Kiss-kiss peez,” she said again.

  Zach looked at Tessa, who covered the mouthpiece of her phone and whispered, “She wants a kiss good night.” Then she lifted her hand and told the senator, “I hear what you’re saying, and I assure you, all parties are making concessions to find common ground.”

  Zach bent, placed his hands to the bed on either side of Sophia, and kissed her forehead. He let his lips linger and breathed in her unique, sweet baby scent—powder and bubbles.

  She hummed happily and offered a whisper-soft “Night-night.”

  “Night, angel,” he whispered back before straightening, stuffing his hands in his back pockets and staring down at his daughter.

  His daughter.

  Another stab of terror pierced his heart.

  My daughter.

  Jesus, this was wickedly surreal.

  Tessa’s touch drew his gaze away. She closed her fingers around one hand and tugged him toward the door. She was still on the phone, distracted—and frustrated, if he were reading her right—and released his hand after they passed the threshold. But Zach wasn’t ready to let go and closed his fingers around hers as he pulled the door to the bedroom closed quietly.

  With Sophia safely tucked into bed, soundly sleeping, and the rest of the condo empty, some of the walls Zach hadn’t realized he was holding melted away, allowing his desire to rush forward. He wanted to take that phone out of her hand, hang up on the politician, strip her naked, and sink into her right then, right there. Which made him wonder if having sex when a kid was in the next room—even if she was asleep—was taboo.

  There was so much new territory to learn about, he felt like he was tumbling in the surf, fighting to figure out which way was up.

  Tessa pulled out of Zach’s grasp and wandered toward the open sliding doors and the terrace beyond. “Those were minor changes in sentence structure,” she said into the phone. “They don’t alter the meaning within the text.”

  He followed her out to the terrace, where the night was cool and humid. His gaze roamed over her—the fall of dark hair, her white tank and the bra beneath, her jean shorts that exposed creamy thighs.

  He moved close, reached around her, and gripped the railing on both sides. She cut a look over her shoulder and stiffened—until he eased the front of his body against the back of hers. Then her lashes fluttered, and her eyes closed. For a moment, she leaned into him, and that tiny show of desire rushed through him like flames.

  He released the railing and wrapped his arms around her waist. Nudging her hair off her neck, he laid his lips there and kissed a path to her ear. A wisp of the soap she’d used on Sophia touched his nose, opening a deep warm spot inside him. Then Tessa’s scent swallowed the sweetness with a powerful tang of musk and spice and exotic flowers. One that immediately stirred erotic memories. The combination of emotion and desire acted like oxygen to a flame. Her spine arched, her ass rubbed against him, and Zach’s body reacted instantly.

  His mind calculated how much time they had before Abby got home and what he could do to her in that amount of time when Tessa said, “Yes, sir.” Her voice had turned breathy. “I’ll be sure to look over that section again and see what I can do to add the language you want.”

  But the conversation on the other end of the phone continued and the serious tone of an older man’s voice filtered through the phone. He lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, “Get off the phone.”

  “Yes, sir,” she said, making Zach smile at the thought of her speaking to him, not the senator. “The National Association of Hospitals pulled that language from the bill. Yes…I’ll let you know as soon as the changes have been made…of course…thank you for your input, sir.”

  Zach closed his teeth at the base of her neck where it curved to meet her shoulder and growled with impatience.

  She disconnected the phone. “Zach. You can’t maul me while I’m on the phone with a freaking senator.”

  “This isn’t mauling.” He flattened his hands on her belly and slid them up her torso, cupping her breasts. “This…is mauling.”

  When she gasped and turned her head t
oward him, Zach covered her mouth with his and let his hunger indulge. She tasted warm and sweet, but it wasn’t enough. He lifted one hand to her face and turned her head a little more, capturing her whole mouth and sinking his tongue deep into her warmth. He pulled back and let her catch her breath, but only for a second. And the moment her lips formed words again, he dragged her back. Her mouth softened, opened, and a low moan rolled from her throat.

  She wrapped her arm up and around his back, sank her fingers into his hair. But a moment later, she broke the kiss. “We can’t do this.” Her blue eyes sparkled to life in the moonlight’s cool glow. “This is already so complicated.”

  “Baby, we’ve already done it. Doing it again isn’t going to change anything.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “And I want you more now than I did that night.”

  She closed her eyes, her brow tightening. He knew she wanted him. Was sure she was going to say yes. Was about to nudge her that direction when the tinkling of keys caught his ear.

  With a frustrated growl, Zach pushed away from Tessa. “Damn.”

  “Tess?” Abby called softly.

  Tessa’s eyes squeezed closed a second before she said, “Out here.”

  Zach sat on the edge of a chair and leaned forward on his thighs to hide the bulge in his jeans.

  Abby strolled across the living room and paused in the doorway, looking at each of them in turn. “Looks like someone got spoiled tonight.”

  Zach smiled a little and looked down at his hands. Abby’s tone made it clear she didn’t approve, but Abby’s opinion didn’t matter to him. “Guilty,” he said, then glanced at Tessa. “I like to spoil my girls.”

  “You’re back early,” Tessa said.

  Abby turned her gaze on Tessa, who was tucking her hair behind her ears. “I was going to try to be home for Sophia’s bedtime.”

  “She hasn’t been asleep long. Go give her a kiss.”

  “I’ll get out of your way,” Zach said, pushing to his feet. “But, Tessa, we need to find some time to sit down and figure this out.”

  The subject change was enough to get Abby to move. She wandered toward the bedroom and peeked in, then slipped through the door and disappeared.

  Tessa pressed a hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. “Zach—”

  He pulled his room key from his pocket and slipped it into her free hand. “Come over later. Tell her we’re talking about Sophia.”

  “We do need to talk about Sophia.”

  “I know.” He snuck a quick kiss and stroked his hand across her cheek. “So come over. We’ll get around to talking. Eventually.”

  13

  Tessa splashed water on her face at the kitchen sink, trying to get her mind to work. She had to get ahold of this situation with Zach. She didn’t know if he had chemistry like this with all women, but Tessa had never known a sexual draw so strong. Regardless, she had to put up some walls, because things between them couldn’t interfere with her custody of Sophia.

  She was drying her hands when Abby came in. “So? What happened?”

  Tessa turned, rested her hips against the counter, and crossed her arms. “We just hung out. He put her dollhouse together with her, asked her questions, got to know her. He’s very easygoing and patient. He’s got a great sense of humor and Sophia likes him—”

  “Sophia likes everyone,” Abby said, still snippy over the subject.

  “That may be the only thing going for us all in this situation.” Tessa needed some control, and she’d had enough of Abby’s stonewalling. She also needed a swift kick in her own ass. “Zach and I aren’t seeing eye to eye on a solution, but we’ll get there.”

  “When?” Abby said, clearly stricken. “I’m leaving tomorrow, and I’d like to know she’s going to be home where she belongs when I get back.”

  Oh, shit.

  “Tomorrow? Already?” Tessa pressed her hand to her eyes. “Oh God.” Urgency made her think about the key card in her pocket. “I have to go talk to him. I couldn’t talk about anything with Sophia here, and it’s going to be much harder to have this conversation when you’re not here to watch her.”

  “Just talk, Tessa,” Abby said as Tessa grabbed a sweat jacket hanging on a dining room chair. “He may be the hottest thing on two legs, but that doesn’t make him fit to be a father.”

  Tessa exhaled and stopped at the door. She turned and met Abby’s disapproving stare. “I know you love Sophia, and I know you want what’s best for her, but you’re still only twenty-one years old, Abby. Life is complicated and messy in ways you can’t understand yet. Just because we want something and we think it’s right doesn’t mean we get it. Sometimes we have to deal with things that life shoves toward us the best way we know how. I know the law, and I know Sophia. You’re going to have to trust that I’m going to do everything possible to give Sophia everything she deserves in life.”

  “Sophia deserves a competent adult as a parent,” Abby said. “Not some playboy who knows more about getting a woman naked than putting a toddler to bed.”

  “Oh my God, Abby.”

  “Okay, let’s just go over a few of everyday Sophia blips,” she said, crossing her arms. “For example, what if Sophia sneaks too many blueberries? Even when we’re both watching her, that can happen. Who knows how well he’ll watch her? What’s he going to do when she gets that horrible belly ache that makes her writhe and groan like she’s dying? At best, he’d subject her to a horribly long ER stay where the doctors poked and prodded her with test after test, only to discover she’d eaten too many blueberries.”

  “There are ways to prevent that from happening,” Tessa argued, even though the very real scenario—including an ER visit and potential needle sticks and scary machines and strangers—disturbed her. “And it’s also why I need a good relationship with Zach, so the lines of communication between us remain open.”

  “You can form a good relationship that doesn’t include sex.”

  Tessa clenched her teeth to control a flare of anger. “Abby, you’re really—”

  “Worse case,” she went on, ignoring Tessa’s frustration, “he could lose his temper over her complaining. What if he locked her in her room? What if he lost it and hit her? What if—”

  “Oh my God.” Tessa covered her ears and wiped the horrible thoughts from her head. “Abby. Stop.”

  “You know she’s not the easiest child. She’s emotional, stubborn—”

  “And strong and loving and smart,” Tessa said, raising her voice to a borderline yell. Tessa had never yelled at Abby. She’d never even raised her voice. But she felt like she was being ripped apart at the seams. “And Zach and I will work this out.”

  Tessa pulled on the sweat jacket against the cool night as she made her way across the street. Abby’s fears ricocheted around Tessa’s overstimulated brain until tears burned her eyes. Tessa tried to work it out in her head, logically. But then she berated herself over yelling at Abby.

  She was a wonderful caretaker, but for all her attributes—and there were many—Abby was really still a girl. And she’d led a very stable, very conservative life in Liverpool. Abby didn’t know anything about single parenting or climbing the corporate ladder in a male-dominated field. Abby’s maturity had developed out of being the oldest of four children. She didn’t even understand the struggles of paying for college, let alone fighting her way through law school.

  Tessa watched the numbers light up above the elevator doors and shifted on her feet. She felt awkward standing here alone, and when the doors slid open, memories of her first time in that elevator distracted her overwrought mind. Zach had been everything she’d ever fantasized about and more. So much more. Too much more.

  The ding on Zach’s floor made her heart jump. She could still feel the hungry burn of his mouth on hers. When she reached his door, she took a breath to clear her mind. She lifted her hand and knocked. Waited. Shifted on her feet. Knocked again. No answer.

  Exhaling, she used the key he’d given her and eased into t
he dark apartment. “Zach?”

  His voice touched her ear, the smooth timbre coming from the living room. Tessa moved in that direction and found him out on the lanai. He wore nothing but board shorts and paced the length of the balcony overlooking the ocean with his phone in his hand. The way the moonlight painted his body in cool light and shadow was truly breathtaking, and Tessa lost herself in the simplicity of watching him move.

  Then a woman’s voice drifted from the phone’s speaker, and Tessa second-guessed using the key card. “It’s always best for the child if you work it out amongst yourselves. Do you have any reservations about her?”

  “Tessa?” Zach said, pausing at the sliding doors and bracing a hand against the railing. “No, no. I mean, you know, we’ve only known each other a little over a week, but she’s been… She’s really amazing.”

  The reverence and affection in his voice made Tessa’s breath stutter. She lifted her hand to her heart and curled the fabric of her tee into her fingers.

  “That’s good,” the woman said. “But her living in DC sounds problematic.”

  Tessa bit her lip against the urge to speak. Zach didn’t need to hear something he already knew.

  “I think we’ll figure it out,” he said.

  “I’m glad Sophia’s being well cared for.”

  “It’s not just how she handles Sophia, which is fantastic,” Zach said. “She’s just a really great person.”

  “Based on what you’ve told me, she sounds exceptional.”

  Who was this woman Zach had been opening up to? Their conversation sounded warm, but not in a romantic way.

  “Yeah,” he murmured, “she is.”

  “All right, then, keep me posted. You wouldn’t be the first person to discover someone you thought was wonderful turned not so wonderful when the custody of a child is involved. I feel the need to remind you to heed the advice I gave you during our first conversation.”