She

by Franceska Krence

  "I'll prove you wrong," I told myself, grabbing my jacket, calling Hanna to pick me up.

  I stared at my shaking hands. Closing my eyes, I hoped I could just wake up and this would be just a nightmare that makes no sense. Yet when I opened them, I was still at my house with pages of proof spread around me on the floor, my hands still shaking, my eyes bloodshot from the tears I refused to let out. I couldn't just give up on us because someone had decided to play a childish trick on me.

  "Yes, that's all it is, a trick", I repeated to myself.

  She was here within 3 minutes, grinning at me from the car, as I ran to her.

  "Hey boo," she kissed my cheek once I'd gotten inside of the car.

  Then she noticed my face, her expression changing, clenching her jaw: "I know how to kill her without leaving any traces behind. No one will ever find her."

  I smiled for the first time in the past half an hour: "don't be silly. Everything's great, I will solve this."

  She looked at me with big eyes, analyzing me: "solve what, Preciosa?"

  I sighed: "there's this stupid prank that someone did on me, it's about Eden. But I swear, it's just a prank, I just need to-"

  I felt a soft hand grabbing mine: "Preciosa, if it's just a prank, then why are you so upset about it?"

  Because my intuition was never wrong, no matter how long I refused to listen to it. I looked at my trembling hand in Hanna's, refusing to give up on Eden.

  "Just drive, I need you to take me somewhere," I ignored her question.

  She nodded, still not letting go of my arm. 15 minutes later, here we were, in front of the all too similar house I'd spent some time in.

  "And now?" Hanna asked.

  I let go of her arm, opening the door: "now I prove it's just a prank."

  "I'll go with you if you need me to," she said, her voice concerned.

  I shook my head, not averting my gaze from the house: "I need to do this on my own."

  "Okay, I respect your decision. But I'm staying here, in case you need a quick runaway," she pulled me in, kissing my cheek one last time before letting me go.

  I sighed, closing the door after me. I went straight for the front of the house, fully aware of the security system on this house, yet the person who left me the evidence had said the house would be left unprotected if I chose to go. To my disappointment, I opened the door with ease.

  I looked around, thinking about the many good memories I had made in this house. When did it slip your mind they weren't just normal people? They were the Quietus, silly, not your friends. These people only knew killing, pain and blood.

  Rarely was I the one to get attached, but I was, pretty badly in fact when it came to this gang, to my girlfriend. I had accepted every each of them as my family, knowing they were to Eden. Originally I had thought they had to be evil, Blake would be a heartless bastard, and so on. I was proven wrong, every one of them had a special place in my heart.

  I walked upstairs, knowing which room to head to. The brains of the whole gang, the best hacker's in the world room. Blake's room. It was quite ironic how long ago I could have done this and find out anything I had to know. Not that it would be easy or anywhere near to safe, cause it would most likely get me killed.

  Walking in his room, I immediately headed for his desk, sitting down in front of the thing that held this whole gang together - Blake's best friend - his laptop. This was the hard part. Breaking into his laptop wasn't something I couldn't do, it would take a little bit of time. I started working on it, whilst thinking about the person who sent all the evidence to me. It was someone in the gang, someone who knew me inside out, even my hacking talents, which no one had ever known about. It wouldn't be logical for Blake to do so, he could've just told me, Luke was probably as clueless as ever, Angel simply wouldn't do this for me. It had to be Andre, we were the closest, he knew the most about me.

  Scratch that, why am I thinking about who could've done this while this had to be a joke? But I had been doubting Eden... No, no, no, there's no way. There was no way she would go this far to do it.

  Finally, I hacked into the laptop, not wasting any time before going through the files, needing to hack into each folder since multiple safety nets were put on them. 10 minutes later I finally found what I needed.

  One page popped open after the other. Nearly all of them were what I'd seen already. Pictures of me walking into my house, in my house, with Kevin, on cheerleader practice, my house's security systems codes, blueprints of my house, pretty much me on every occasion. They had been following my every move at least for two months before I met Eden, every single time of me doing my usual day to day things written down. My favorite things, places to be, things to do also in the files. Not to mention, every single detail about my security guards too. Their action plan, everything. If that wasn't enough, everything about my parents was included as well.

  It was clear, they were planning to kidnap me, and since even the worlds most dangerous gang couldn't do it without getting killed by my security, they needed another plan. That was where Eden came in. They wanted my parent's money in exchange for my life. They wanted to be smart about it, by earning my, my parents and securities trust, so that no one would figure out what was happening, at least until I was already gone. Since my parents were back in town, there was maximum security, they had to postpone it. To today. They wanted to do it today, as soon as my parents were gone. But why would Eden have to be the one to do it? It made no sense, it could've been any one of them.

  Now all I had left to do was figure out a scenario in which Eden had nothing to do with this plan.

  "Who are you kidding?" the voice inside of my head asked.

  But I ignored it, starting to search for something, anything that would keep my world from falling apart.

  THIRTY

  please don't come down, don't follow me

  I'd never want you to

  it wasn't meant to be

  ✽✽✽

  I had been sitting here for exactly an hour and 14 minutes, trying to figure out something, even going as far as including aliens and such absurd things just to prove that Eden had nothing to do with this.

  But there was nothing, not even aliens or random time machines could make it anywhere near believable. It was obvious - she had done it, in fact, it had to be Eden that came up with the plan in the first place, that's the only way this made sense. I was so foolish to believe Blake was the leader, the bad guy, from which I had to save my stunning girlfriend instead of realizing I was supposed to save myself from her.

  The ironic laugh left my lips before I could stop it. This was incredibly funny in a way, I was the smartest girl in this town, I had no problem admitting it, though, correction - was - the smartest girl here. I got played in my own game.

  The person whom I'd fallen for, who'd become my home, my everything, wanted to destroy me.

  My eyes got teary, as I just couldn't stop laughing at how foolish I had been.

  I thought about the many times I could have just listened to others, specifically to my mom and the advice she had given to me about loving myself first, not to depend on others to be happy, also when my dad told me I shouldn't put a girl I've only just met as my priority.

  And then there were so many times I'd doubted myself, my feelings, my intuition warning me over and over again, yet I ignored it. Of course, I couldn't deny, for the most part, I was just a fool in love, too blind, too in love to see any potentially bad things about her.

  ✽✽✽

  I heard footsteps outside the room, disrupting my thoughts. The familiar face appearing in the doorway.

  His eyes widened, realizing I was there, running across the room to take the thing I had been staring at for the past hour and a half away from my sight. He looked at it, then looked at me, his mouth opening and closing, then opening again, dumbfounded, shocked.

  "Is it true?" I asked silently, not even able to look at his face.

  But I didn't have to ask, I knew it
was, simply by the fact I'd spent this whole time trying to figure out a way it couldn't be true. I was smart. At least now, my eyes finally open to what was in front of me.

  "Ruby.." Blake put the laptop down and walked towards me, whilst I remained in the chair I had been sitting in, "I can explain, I swear."

  I shook my head, smiling as I felt something inside of me break: "no, you can't, only she can."

  Part of me wanted to hear it, part of me never wanted to leave, part of me still thought this wasn't true and it could be fixed. That part of me still loved her. This silly, naive part of me had to be destroyed, burned, buried, shot and beaten.

  I got up from the chair, wiping my face: "but I won't be here to hear it."

  He didn't stop me, he understood even though their plan could only work if I stayed.

  Suddenly, I felt Blake's soft hand wrap around my wrist.

  "What?" I snapped, tears sliding down my face, "you don't need to keep me here. If it was money you needed you could have just told me so. To me you had become as close as a family, I would've helped anyway possible since money has always been the least of my worries."

  He furrowed his brows, looking down shamefully: "Ruby, you were , you are important to us as well, trust me."

  I laughed: "oh, really? Was that before or after you decided to kidnap me?"

  He clenched his jaw: "it wasn't my plan.."

  "Well, you sure as hell were a part of it," I sighed, taking his hand off of my wrist, "this really fucking hurt me, you know. I know this wasn't the goal, but I hope she can at least make the most of it since that's all she'll ever be getting from me."

  He looked at me, his eyes full of guilt and sadness: "is there something, anything I can do for you?"

  "Tell her if she ever steps near me," I smiled to myself, my voice cracking, "I'll make sure she doesn't leave alive."

  "I will," he nodded, "but, please, take care of yourself. Screw my sister, your health comes first."

  So he knew as well. About cancer growing inside of my brain. I knew for a fact Andre wouldn't have told him, he was a genius when it came to hacking, he probably easily hacked into my laptop or even my security cameras finding out who Hanna was.

  I nodded, turning around, taking the first of many steps.

  And then I walked. And walked. It seemed like an eternity walking out of this house. With each step it became harder, my head becoming heavier, waterfalls coming out of my eyes even without me being able to control it.

  He was right, my mom and dad were right. She should've never been my priority, no one else, apart from me, should ever take that place. It was about time I realized it.

  Maybe. No. I'm certain I won't be able to just move on within a day, perhaps not even the day or the week after today. Scratch that, I was fully aware it would take at least a month or two. But I will eventually move on, I will let go. She might have been my first love, but she would certainly not be the last. Someday I will fall in love again and it will be magnificent. But even if I don't, it will be alright, because I'll have myself.

  I'll learn to love myself, put myself before anyone else. And I will start today.

  When I walked out, Hanna was still in her car, on her phone, singing to the music blasting in the car. As soon as I opened the door, her head snapped to me, the music immediately shut off by her.

  She analyzed my face, her eyes softening, as she leaned in and gave me a hug: "it'll be alright, Preciosa. No one that makes you sad deserves you."

  I couldn't even cry anymore, my eyes dry, but I still hugged her tightly.

  In a minute or two, we let go: "what now?" she asked.

  I looked at my trembling hands.

  "Now I take care of myself," I replied.

  She raised a brow: "you mean we take care of you. I am not leaving your side, Preciosa."

  I smiled, feeling the sincerity in her words, she wasn't joking around.

  "Well then it's your lucky day because we are moving to England," I said.

  She looked at me for a second, completely silent. But the silence didn't last long.

  "Yay!" she squealed, "Harry Styles, here I come!"

  With one direction music blasting through the stereos, we sped down the streets, heading to the airport.

  EPILOGUE

  your love - too toxic, can't breathe

  your love - I just wanted it

  your love - destroys piece by piece

  your love - it wasn't meant to be

  I have to set myself free

  ✽✽✽

  Ever since I was little I loved running away, which lead to me nearly being run over by a car, being kidnapped and almost not being found. Relying on being found was something I strongly believed in considering who my parents were, not to mention having the best possible security. How did I manage to escape? Weirdly enough I always thought of it as a game or new part of "Home alone", therefore I did things Kevin would, only since my security wasn't nearly as dumb or naive as the bad guys in "Home alone", they would mostly never get injured. Of course, apart from the new trainees, they would be the ones in pain for most of the time.

  Anyways, back to the reason, I'm even spending my time on this throwback. I used to run away because I knew I could, but mostly - because I knew I would be found, I wanted to be found, to be chased. But this. This wasn't the case. The gorgeous girl with ice-cold blue eyes named Eden Harper was the first person that made me want to run away and not be found. But it didn't matter, I knew she would have no problem finding me especially since she knew where I was running to - my parents, that wasn't too hard to figure out.

  The thing is, I believed she wouldn't even lift a finger to come after me, apologize or get me back. She no longer had a reason to, knowing well I had finally become aware of the lies surrounding me. As self-destructive as it was, it was still the only thing I wished she did.

  "Preciosa?" Hanna's voice ringed in my ears, "are you okay?"

  I didn't stop looking at the sea in front of me, my parents had made sure I got placed in the best hospital, the best room, treated by the best doctors, and, of course, Hanna would stay by my side. A month had now passed since I left. I knew what telling my parents would mean - it would mean facing it, fighting it, which was what I was originally scared of. But I had to do so, and so I did, using my anger against Eden as motivation each day. It sucked - the never-ending treatments, feeling like the treatment is sucking the life out of you, but this was for the best, or at least that's what I kept telling myself.

  "I want to leave this damn place," I whispered to no one in particular, staring out the window.

  I heard Hanna's sigh, her picking up a chair and sitting next to me: "it's only been a month, give it a chance, Ru."

  I turned to her, grabbing her hand in mine: "Hanna, please, let's just run away. Please. This is worse than dying, being stuck in here."

  She rolled her eyes: "way to be overdramatic, Preciosa. This is what you wanted, what you promised to your parents, remember?"

  I chewed on my lip: "but this isn't living. This is merely surviving and I want more in life that this - being stuck in a damn hospital, treated like a thing to stick needles into not a proper person."

  I accidentally bit on my lip too hard, starting to bleed. Hanna cursed under her breath, grabbing a tissue from my bed, holding it to the wound.

  "You've got to stop doing this, Ruby," she was angry, "this isn't good for you."

  It was my turn to roll the eyes: "I only bit my lip, now you're the one being overdramatic."

  She got up, throwing the tissue in my face. Okay, I underestimated her anger.

  "I'm talking about her, you're still thinking about her, feeling sorry for yourself. Well, guess what, Gold? You're fucking sick, as in - it's a damn miracle you're still alive and all you should be worrying about is your upcoming surgery. I'm here for you, your parents are here for you. So enlighten me, why the hell are you thinking about her out of all people? Stop being a little bitch about it, Ruby, stop pret
ending to be sulk story and get your crap together."

  I looked at her with big eyes, not expecting such an outburst. Placing her hands on her hips, she sighed.

  "We're all worried sick about you, yet all you do is stare out the damn window with that empty look in your eyes as if you'd rather be dead than fighting for your life, just because a girl broke your heart."

  I opened my mouth, then closed it and opened it again. What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to cry, be angry, happy? That would be pretending, I couldn't really feel that much at this point and she deserved better than obvious lies. To the rest of the world Eden was just a girl that broke my heart, to me it felt like so much more than that. So I shrugged because that's all I could think of. But judging by the slap that landed on my cheek, I suppose that wasn't the response she expected.

  "Give me a call when you stop acting like a nine-year-old," she said, storming out of the room, right as my parents were coming in.

  "Hey, Ha-," dad said, clueless to what was going on.

  Mom looked at me with her brow raised, disappointment clear in her eyes. I couldn't be bothered to deal with this, turning to stare out the window again.

  "We brought you white roses, your favorite, princess," dad said, taking a vase to put them in.

  "Thanks," I said, looking at the way waves crashed into the rocks, breaking into million drops of water, then doing so again and again. It was truly beautiful, humans and waves we're pretty alike if you gave it a thought.

  "Honey, I forgot my purse in the car, can you get it, please?" mom asked from behind me.

  "Bu-" dad said, cut off by what I assumed to be moms kick, "ouch!"

  There was a silence, but then dad replied in a forced tone: "sure, love. Be right back, princess."

  Mom didn't waste a second coming between me and the window, her hands crossed on her chest. Crap, she meant business.

  "Mind enlighten me as to what went on with Hanna?" she asked, her brow raised.