Torn

by A. M. Wallace

  “Too sweet?” Amy asked with a grin.

  “Maybe just a little.” She giggled.

  “We should have just shared one,” she said as she took another bite.

  I took a few more bites and then slid the cup away from me. I looked up to see Amy smiling at me, still enjoying her ice cream.

  “I can’t eat anymore.”

  “Wimp.” She smirked. I shook my head and grinned back.

  “I guess so.” I chuckled lightly.

  “Come on.” She grabbed her cup and stood up. “I can eat this in the car.”

  “Who said you could eat in my car?” I asked her as I stood up as well, picking up my cup and tossing it in a nearby trash can.

  “I did.” She turned on her heel and walked out and I followed, shaking my head.

  That girl was something else.

  Once we were back in the car, I pulled out of the lot and back onto the highway, this time really in the direction of home. I turned the radio on low as I drove, liking the background noise. It wasn’t unusual for us to drive together in complete silence. I actually really liked how neither of us felt the need to fill the silence all the time. It was nice to just be together.

  I reached over to rest my hand on Amy’s knee, wanting to feel the contact. It didn’t always need to be sexual, but I constantly felt the need to touch her. Almost like I needed to make sure she was real and touching was the only way to do that. She didn’t seem to mind. I wouldn’t say I was touchy feely really, but I was something.

  I was a little lost in my thoughts, so it really startled me when Amy screamed my name a couple of times. I jumped and looked over at her to see a look of pure horror on her face. I had just enough time to look out my window and see a set of headlights heading right for us from my side.

  And then everything went black.

  i groaned and rolled over, slapping at my alarm clock several times before I finally realized it wasn’t my alarm going off. It was my phone ringing. I grabbed it off my bedside table and hit accept, not bothering to look to see who it was.

  “Hello?” I groaned out, still half asleep.

  “Hannah?” It was Chad. I wanted to get snarky with him. Who else would it be? He called me. Instead, I just looked at the screen on my phone and saw it was after three o’clock in the morning. What the hell?

  “Why are you calling me at three thirty in the morning, Chad?” I yawned loudly and threw my arm over my eyes.

  “Hannah,” he said urgently and then paused. I was about to say something to him when he beat me to it. “There’s been an accident.”

  I shot up in bed, suddenly wide awake.

  “An accident? Who?” I was panicking. If Chad was the one calling me, I already knew who. I was just hoping I was wrong.

  “It’s Marcus.” Two words from Chad and my heart stopped.

  “Where is he?”

  I was already out of bed and grabbing the first thing I found out of my closet to put on, quickly finding a pair of pants and sliding on my shoes while Chad spoke.

  “University Medical Center. Third floor. We don’t know much yet.” I could hear the worry in his voice.

  “I’m on my way.”

  I didn’t even give him a chance to respond before I hung up and raced into Erica’s room, shaking her awake. It took calling her name a few times, but she finally woke up enough for me to tell her what was going on.

  “Wake up. Marcus was in an accident. We have to go.”

  “What?” She got up and got dressed in record time too, and we were out the door.

  We took Erica’s car without even thinking about it. I wasn’t really in the best condition to drive. I told her what hospital he was at and the rest of the drive was silent. I couldn’t stop fidgeting. I’d sit up in my seat and then sit back, both my knees were bouncing, and at the rate I was going, I wouldn’t have any nails left by the time we got there. The drive seemed to take forever. All I could think about was the fight Marcus and I had a couple of weeks ago. What if that was the last time we got to see each other? What if the last words I spoke to him were angry? My heart was breaking. I needed to make things right. If—no, when—when Marcus made it out of this, we would fix things. Life was too short to fight about things like this. I hated how it took this for me to want to swallow my pride.

  When we finally got there, I was out the door before she could even put it in park. I ran into the building and got on the elevator, only because the door was already open and there was no one on it. I pushed the button for the third floor and waited not so patiently for the elevator to take me up. I knew Erica wasn’t too far behind me, but I wasn’t waiting.

  The elevator door opened and I rushed off, looking around frantically for Chad. Once I made it to the main waiting area, I was relieved when I finally saw him. But I got a little angry seeing Amy sitting next to him.

  I couldn’t quite explain it, but the sight of her here just made my blood boil. Yes, they were dating, but I didn’t feel like it was her place to be here. Maybe it was the green-eyed monster coming out of me, but I didn’t care.

  I needed to focus on Marcus right now. I’d deal with that later.

  “Hannah.” Chad stood up when he saw me and met me halfway, wrapping me in a hug.

  “How is he?” I said and I hugged him back tightly. He pulled back slowly to look at me.

  “We’re not sure yet. He’s in the ICU.” His words hit me like another ton of bricks.

  I was about to ask what happened when Erica found us. She rushed right over to Amy and hugged her tightly, telling her how sorry she was and asking if she was okay. It was only then that I noticed her arm was in a sling. I hadn’t realized she was in the wreck with him.

  The fact that Erica rushed to Amy’s side did nothing to help the anger I still felt that Amy was there. I told myself again this was about Marcus. I needed to focus on him.

  “What happened?” Erica asked as she took a seat next to Amy. Chad walked with me to another couple of seats next to them and sat down next to me, keeping his arm around my shoulders. I was glad for the support because I felt as though I could crumble at any minute.

  “We were on our way back to his house from the city and a truck came out of nowhere and hit us on the driver’s side.” Amy was tearing up as she spoke. I wanted to roll my eyes. “He’s got some broken ribs and his left ankle is broken.” She sniffled a little into a tissue she had in her hand. “The doctor said his brain is swelling from the impact. He had to be intubated and sedated to see if it heals itself. That’s all I know.”

  Erica rubbed Amy’s back and that just made me angrier. I knew I was being irrational, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Marcus was my friend. I’d been the one by his side practically our whole lives. Erica and Chad were his friends. The three of us were the closest people in his life, except for his parents.

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought about calling them.

  “What about his parents?” I asked suddenly.

  “Chad called them right before he called you,” Amy answered, biting her lip as she looked at me. “They’ll be here as soon as they can, but it’s a four hour drive.”

  “Yeah, I know where they live.” I couldn’t stop the snarky response even if I’d wanted to. Erica gave me a look that told me to calm down. I ignored her.

  I turned to look around the waiting room, seeing only a few other people there. My heart broke for anyone who had to be in a place like this, whatever the reason. I felt Chad rubbing my back and I could hear conversation had picked up between Amy and Erica, but I wasn’t listening.

  I needed Marcus to be okay. Not just because I felt guilty about how I left things between us, though that was part of it, but because he had so much to live for. Even if we never fixed this, he deserved to be okay. From what Amy told us, it wasn’t sounding good, but it didn’t sound hopeless either. I could hold onto that. We should all hold onto that.

  “When can I see him?” I turned around and interrupted their conv
ersation.

  “Immediate family only, right now,” Amy answered. “I only know what’s going on with him because a nurse took pity on me. We have to wait for his parents to get here to know more.” Her response upset her even more.

  I wanted to feel bad for her, but I just couldn’t. I had a lot of emotions running through me right now, but sympathy for Amy wasn’t one of them.

  Chad stood up and announced he was going to get some coffee and asked if anyone wanted anything. I shook my head. Erica stood up and said she’d walk with him and they left, leaving Amy and me alone. I continued to look around the waiting room, trying to avoid eye contact with her.

  “Are you all right, Hannah?” Did she really just ask me that? I scoffed and turned to face her.

  “No, Amy, I’m not. My best friend is in the ICU right now.” I turned back around when I was finished with my answer, but she wasn’t finished apparently.

  “I’m sorry. I know how you feel.”

  I could not believe she just said that. How could she possibly know how I was feeling right now? She had no clue. I whipped around to face her again, more angry than before. I stood up, needing to be up and moving.

  “No, I don’t think you know how I feel right now. Not even close.” Amy opened her mouth to say something, but I didn’t give her a chance. “In fact, I don’t even know why you’re still here. You’re fine. You were released. You can go home now and let Marcus’ friends be here for him!” I was breathing heavy, knowing I should calm down, but I didn’t know how.

  “Hannah!” I heard Erica behind me and turned to see her staring at me in shock. Not to mention the same look on Chad’s face.

  “No, Erica, it’s fine,” I heard Amy say calmly and I turned to see her standing as well now. “Look, Hannah, I know you’re hurting. Who wouldn’t hurt being in your situation? But don’t you dare insinuate that I’m not hurting as well. I have every right to be here right now. Even more right than you do, if we’re being technical, seeing as you haven’t spoken to him in weeks!”

  “Excuse me--” I started, but she cut me off.

  “No, I’m not finished.” I just stared at her in awe. “I love Marcus. I am in love with Marcus. So, whether you’ve spoken to him recently or not is irrelevant. Because, while I know I haven’t known him as long as you, and I know we care about him in different ways, I still care about him. Period. So yes, I have every right to be here. I’m not going anywhere.” With that, she stormed off away from me. But I knew she wouldn’t go far.

  I stood there, staring at where she had been standing before turning to look in the direction she was walking. Chad just looked at me for a moment in shock and then took off after her. Erica just stared at me. I looked past her to where Chad caught up with Amy and wrapped her in a hug by the elevators. When the elevator arrived, they both got on, and I continued to stare.

  “Do you feel better about yourself now?” Erica said sternly, pulling my eyes back to hers.

  “I…” I didn’t know what to say.

  “I’ve never seen you act so selfish,” she said, shaking her head. I fully expected her to turn and walk away from me as well, but she surprised me by walking past me and taking her seat again. I followed.

  “I don’t know what came over me.” It was true. I’d been mad and hurt that she was here, but I knew I wasn’t justified in those feelings. I couldn’t turn them off, though.

  “I do.” I looked over at her, waiting to hear what she had to say. “You’re jealous and just got into a pissing contest with Marcus’ girlfriend. And lost, might I add.” I scoffed and turned away, even though I knew she was right.

  “I don’t like sharing him, Erica.”

  “You don’t really have a choice.” I felt tears forming in my eyes as she spoke and I kept looking in the opposite direction.

  “I don’t like that she’s here. I’m his best friend. I should be the one here for him.”

  “Hannah, do you hear yourself? You are here for him. How can you say you’re the only one he needs right now?” I turned around and looked at her as she spoke.

  “I’m his best friend, Erica.”

  “Yeah, and she’s his girlfriend.” I rolled my eyes as she continued. “How would you feel if one of Justin’s friends told you that you couldn’t be here if it were him in that hospital bed, huh?”

  I swallowed hard and ran my hand through my hair. Justin. I hadn’t thought about Justin all night. And I hadn’t really thought of it the way Erica just put it either. She was right. Dammit, she was always right. I really hated it.

  She may be right, but I couldn’t just stop being angry. I just wasn’t sure yet if all the anger was toward Amy or myself. Probably a little of both.

  I sighed and slumped in my chair. It was still too early to call Justin, or even text him really. He’d wake up to the sound and he had class early in the morning. I needed to sort out my thoughts before talking to him though. As of right now, all I could think about was Marcus, and I wasn’t so sure it had everything to do with the accident, but that was definitely most of it.

  beep…beep…beep…beep…beep…beep…

  What in the world was that noise? I tried to open my eyes, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. I wanted to look around. I needed to scratch my nose. But nothing was happening.

  “Hello?” I wasn’t actually speaking out loud, just in my head. This was getting weird. What was hell was going on?

  “Vitals look good. The swelling seems to be going down.”

  Who’s the woman talking?

  “Keep an eye on him and page me if anything changes.”

  Now, who’s this guy?

  “Hello?” I tried again, but nothing really came out.

  I heard some shuffling around before a door opened and shut. And then there was silence. Except for that annoying beeping.

  Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…

  I felt myself drifting out again, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to figure out what was going on, what kind of dream I was having. It didn’t feel like a dream. It was more of a flashback.

  I could hear Amy laughing at something I said, and I laughed with her. We were on our way to Tennessee, where my parents moved for early retirement, for Amy to meet them. She was nervous as hell, and I tried not to tease her about it, but it was hard.

  “Why are you so nervous to meet my parents? They won’t bite.” I grinned over at her and she huffed in response. “Okay, so they might bite, but they mean well.” She smacked me.

  “Marcus, please. I just want them to like me.” She sighed and I reached over for her hand.

  “They’re going to love you, Amy. Just relax. They can smell fear.” I laughed as she let go of my hand and smacked me again.

  “I hate how you weren’t this nervous to meet my mom.” She was pouting a little now. It was kind of cute.

  “Sorry. Moms just seem to love me for some reason.” I grinned and grabbed her hand again.

  That made me think of when I did meet Amy’s mom. It was a spur of the moment thing. I was dropping her off at home after work one day and she just stayed seated in the car. A few minutes passed and I was about to ask her what was wrong when she turned to me.

  “I want you to meet my mom.” She bit her lip as she waited for my response. I was a little stunned.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to meet her mom, but I wasn’t expecting it to be today. Though, I wasn’t sure it mattered whether it was today, or tomorrow, or next week. I finally smiled at her and nodded my head.

  “I would love to meet your mom.”

  She grinned and got out of the car and waited for me by her door. I got out and met her there and she grabbed my hand and squeezed.

  “Thank you,” she whispered as we walked to the main doors and she hit the code to let us in.

  This was a fairly big step, if you ask me. Meeting the parents. We’d only been dating a couple of weeks, but if she was ready for me to meet her mom, then I was ready to meet her, too.

&n
bsp; Amy had told me before that her dad took off when she was little and her mom never really dated again. She spent her time taking care of her two daughters, and now her two grandchildren. She was a strong woman. I already admired her and I hadn’t even met her yet.

  We walked up the stairs to the second floor and Amy smiled at me again before opening the door, calling for her mom. When she finally came in from the kitchen, she smiled, and I stared in awe.

  Her mother was beautiful, Amy was a spitting image of her. Had I not already known differently, I might have thought they were sisters. The thought made me happy because that meant Amy didn’t look a thing like her shit father who abandoned them.

  “Mom, this is Marcus,” Amy looked back at me as she pulled me further into the room, keeping her eyes on me, “my boyfriend.” I smiled.

  We hadn’t really labeled ourselves in the time we’d been dating. This was the first time she had used the term boyfriend and I had to admit, I liked hearing her say it.

  “Marcus, this is my mom, Amanda.” I held out my hand and she shook it lightly.

  “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Marcus. I’ve heard a lot of good things.” She smiled and I pulled my hand back.

  “Likewise.”

  “I was beginning to think Amy was making you up.” She winked at Amy and grinned, turning to go back into the kitchen. “I just made meatloaf. I hope you’re both hungry.”

  “I guess I should ask.” Amy turned to look at me with the sweetest smile I’d ever seen. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

  I laughed and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a quick kiss. We walked into the kitchen and Amy immediately went to work helping her mom set the small table. I offered numerous times, but each time, Amanda would wave me off and insist I sit down.

  We had a great time that night, and a weight had lifted off my shoulders that I hadn’t realized was there. I’d met Amy’s mom and I was sure we had hit it off. I could tell Amy was happy too. That was just icing on the cake for me.