Let it Be Me

by Jody Holford

  He dropped the mallet like a mic and put his hands in the air. He started to sing “I am the champion” in a terribly off-key voice, and both Megan and Charlie laughed until tears filled their eyes.

  “Are those tears of sorrow from losing?” He winked at Megan even as she walked closer to him.

  “Maybe I’m just lulling you into a false sense of security,” she said, stopping when they were toe to toe.

  His lips quirked. “That’s pretty nice of you.”

  “I’m a nice girl,” she said, her voice lower than she meant for it to be.

  Adam’s eyes wandered to her lips, and she wished need didn’t fly through her veins like a missile.

  “I want to play pinball,” Charlie said. He tugged on his dad’s hand.

  “Sounds good.” He dug two cards out of his pocket and handed one to Megan. “You get your own. Use it wisely. You might want to practice a few of the games before I come back and beat you again.”

  Without thinking, she patted her hand against his chest. His heart beat fast under her palm. “Enjoy your moment in the sun, old guy. In a little bit, I’ll teach you how to play skee-ball.”

  Adam arched one dark eyebrow, and his green eyes shone with laughter. “That’s a nice game for kids. How about basketball?”

  “Come on, Dad,” Charlie said, tugging on Adam’s hand.

  Megan shrugged. “Whatever you want to lose at is fine with me.”

  He laughed and shook his head. When he and Charlie went to play pinball, she headed over to the other side of the arcade, hoping Adam wouldn’t come looking for her before she had a chance to practice her shot. She’d need the extra time, since she’d never played basketball in her life.

  They were tied. Megan had sunk two baskets, and Adam was about to sink his third. Charlie cheered him on just as heartily as he had Megan a few moments earlier.

  Adam looked her way, ball raised, poised to shoot. “You sure you don’t want to call it a tie?”

  “Just shoot the ball, Klein.”

  He did. It went in with a whoosh, and Charlie cheered like his dad had just won a medal. Megan kept her face passive, nearly bored, but her heart was hammering in her chest. Adam smiled as he came closer, a ball in hand.

  “Want to make a bet?”

  She scowled at him. “Now that you know you have three shots? No way. That’s a cheater’s bet.”

  “I’m no cheater,” he said. “But if you’re scared you won’t get it in, no pressure.”

  This competitive side of him made her laugh. He seemed so much more at ease today than he had in so long. Ever, really. Maybe his date with Emily was that good. The thought made her heart pinch. She grabbed the ball from his hand.

  “Fine. I get this shot, you stay off your phone for the rest of the day,” she challenged.

  It was his turn to scowl. He’d only been on it a few times—once to check his email and twice for phone calls that he’d cut short. He was trying.

  Leaning closer, she held his gaze. “If you’re scared, no pressure.”

  “Fine.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest, and she laughed at how much he resembled Charlie when he was mad.

  Breathing in and out slowly, she stood in front of the indoor basketball game. It had Plexiglas on either side of it to keep the ball from flying off. This had been a very useful feature while she’d be practicing.

  “Come on, Meg,” Charlie said, his grin wide and carefree. His front tooth was a little crooked, as it was ready to come out. He wouldn’t let her touch it, though.

  She bent her knees, held the ball the way she’d watched the guys before her do it. She could hear her heart beating in her ears.

  Pushing up as she flicked her wrist forward, she felt like the ball left her hand in slow motion. It hit the backboard, bounced up on the rim, circled it, and slipped through the net. Her breath flew out of her lungs, and she jumped in the air, pumping her fist up. Charlie rushed her and gave her a hug.

  She looked at Adam, feeling as if she’d run a marathon. “I’ll take that tie now.”

  He laughed. A real laugh from his belly. It was sexy and genuine, and it made Megan close her eyes, hug Charlie closer, and try to memorize everything about this second.

  “Nicely done, Carter.”

  Holding Charlie’s hand, she laughed, and they wandered together over to the superhero arcade game. Charlie swiped his card, and Megan did her best not to gloat. Adam had no idea how much luck she’d just had.

  “Double or nothing?”

  She smirked at him. “No way. I should actually take your phone.”

  “I’ve hardly been on it at all.”

  Bumping him with her hip, she let her lips curve into a smile. “It’s too bad they get any cell service in here at all.”

  Adam gave a mock gasp. “Bite your tongue.”

  They played a few more games together, but Charlie really wanted to try the laser tag on the second floor. It cost extra, so Adam went to get each of them tickets to play.

  She nudged Charlie’s shoulder. “Should we talk strategy before he comes back?”

  “Like team up?”

  “Yeah. We don’t get each other. We just get him.”

  Charlie scrunched his face, thinking it through. “Okay.”

  Megan knew, before Adam made it all the way over to them, that something was wrong.

  “Dad, Megan, and I are going to team up against you.”

  She brought her hand to her forehead and sighed. “You don’t tell him the strategy.”

  The laugh Adam gave was stiff. “I was going to ask the same thing.”

  Charlie took the tickets and turned around in the line. Adam gestured to Megan so she’d come closer.

  “I need to meet up with a client. Very quick.”

  Unable to hide her disappointment, she shook her head. “I actually should have taken your phone.”

  “Megan. I… What can I do? It’s my job.”

  “Right. This is also Sunday, and your kid is leaving for two weeks.”

  His back stiffened, and she knew she’d crossed another line. What was he going to do? Fire her?

  “I’m very aware of those facts,” he said, his tone half-snappy and half-defeated.

  She shook her head. “Back to employee, am I? Going back and forth is starting to give me whiplash.”

  “Come on, guys, it’s our turn to go in.”

  Adam hesitated before looking at Charlie. “Hey, bud. I have to run and do a quick errand, and then I’ll be back, okay?”

  Charlie’s face fell. “But Dad, we’re going to play laser tag.”

  He lowered himself in front of Charlie and took his shoulders. “You and Megan play. I’ll be back in an hour, and we’ll go grab something to eat. Anything you want.”

  Charlie shrugged his dad’s hands off his shoulders and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “You said this was our makeup day for you having to miss my presentation.”

  Megan firmed her lips, refusing to feel bad for Adam, even when she saw his shoulders sag. She got it—he had a job to do. But it was okay to have boundaries and to stand up for what was more important. She knew, in her heart, that Charlie was everything to him. But why the hell didn’t he take this opportunity to show it?

  “I know I did. I’m not saying it’s over. I just need to do one thing.”

  “Can’t you do it later?”

  “If I could, I would,” Adam said. The last time he had sounded this genuinely sorry was when he’d bailed before her interview. The hesitation in his tone was throwing rocks against her ability to stay mad.

  Charlie glared at him. “If you wanted to, you would.”

  Adam stood up, looking as though he’d been slapped. Charlie tipped his chin up at her. “Can I go in, Meg?”

  “Sure. You want to wait for me?”

  She glanced at Adam, who stared at Charlie with an expression so defeated Megan wanted to hug him. Why didn’t he get it? Say no to work, just once, and show
Charlie that he’s the bottom line.

  Charlie walked to the entrance and looked at both of them. “No. I want to go by myself. I don’t need anyone with me. I’m not a baby.”

  He slipped through the curtain into the room that housed the tag game.

  Adam looked down at her. His lips straightened, and all of the happiness she’d felt earlier evaporated.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

  “Why are you apologizing to me?”

  He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, then over his face. “Because you’re always having to pick up my slack.”

  “That’s my job. You should go do yours,” she said. Compassion was one thing. She felt it in spades, but her priority had to be Charlie and the hurt he was feeling. Adam was old enough to choose. Charlie wasn’t.

  With a wince, he shook his head. In a move that shocked the air from her lungs, he took her hand. “I don’t want to go, but saying no isn’t an option. If I don’t push for partnership, I won’t get it. I want to be able to give him all of the things I never had.”

  He didn’t mean stuff. She knew him well enough now to know that he feared not being able to put a roof over his son’s head. Not being able to feed and clothe him. Provide for him. It was irrational, in her opinion. But that didn’t change his worries about it.

  She stayed rooted to her spot. Tough love time. No! No, no, no. Tough employee to boss laying it on the line time. “All he wants is you.”

  Adam’s face paled like she’d slapped him. When he walked away, she felt bad, but she felt worse for Charlie. Adam talked of how Reece let Charlie down by choosing her job over her family, but Megan didn’t see Adam doing things any differently. And it broke her heart because he was such a good dad and Charlie deserved to have that. Not your place. In just over a month, it won’t even be your job to worry about it anymore. But she knew she still would.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Adam waited for the usual rush of adrenaline to fill his bloodstream, but it didn’t come. He’d signed a major client, but all he could think about was Charlie’s words. And Megan’s. And how much he’d wanted to stay with them. He’d rushed through the sixty-minute Skype conference, intending to go back to the arcade, but when he’d texted Megan, they’d already left. I’m doing the best I can. Who knew what would have happened if Adam had said, Sorry, maybe some other time.

  He drove through Brockton Point on autopilot, trying to justify to himself his leaving for work. With the bonus he’d get, giving a nice donation to the Palton Academy, the prestigious private school many of the partners’ kids attended just outside of town, would be easy. He had an interview to speak with the dean next week, and once everything was for sure, he’d tell Charlie the great news.

  Pulling into the driveway, he hoped that they were home. He’d stopped and picked up pizza and the cinnamon pull-apart bread Charlie loved.

  Turning off the car, he grabbed both and got out. Shutting the door with his hip, he glanced at the yard. Megan had done some gardening, and it made it more obvious that Adam needed to get the mower out.

  Inside, the house was quiet—he hated it.

  “Charlie? Megan? I brought pizza,” he called out as he slipped off his shoes and nudged the door shut.

  “Kitchen,” Megan called out. When he came in, she was opening a can of soda. “Want one?”

  “Sure. Thanks. Where’s Charlie?”

  “His room.”

  “Still mad?”

  She didn’t answer, and his stomach rolled. His kid was leaving for two weeks. He did not want to be on the outs with him when he left.

  Megan came to the table with plates and napkins. He’d set the pizza and dessert in the center.

  “You want me to go get him for dinner?”

  “I’ll do it.” At least she wasn’t glaring at him—her tone was actually empathetic.

  Heart in his stomach, he walked down the hall and stopped outside Charlie’s door. Charlie was on the floor building Legos. He looked up, but his expression was blank.

  “I’m sorry, Charlie.”

  He shrugged and went back to building.

  “I brought pizza and cinnamon buns,” Adam said, stepping into the room.

  “Not hungry.”

  Adam sighed and leaned against the wall. “I know you’re mad. I am really sorry.”

  When Charlie didn’t look up, Adam walked over and sat on the floor with him.

  “I’m trying, bud. It’s not always easy, and I’m trying to be really good at my job. I don’t mean for it to take up so much of my time.”

  “Why can’t you ever just have a whole day off?”

  There were tears in Charlie’s angry voice, and they twisted Adam’s heart. He reached out and put his hand over his son’s and waited until he looked at him.

  “When you get back from visiting Mom, I’ll take a few days off, and we’ll do whatever you want. I won’t work. I’ll make sure I book the days tomorrow, and I won’t even answer emails those days.”

  Charlie’s eyebrows squeezed together, and his little forehead wrinkled, clearly not sure if he should believe him or not.

  “I promise, bud.”

  “Megan says you don’t say promise unless you’re sure you can do something.”

  Hunching his shoulders, he moved so their faces were close together. “I promise, Charlie.”

  Megan knocked on the bedroom door. Adam hadn’t even heard her approach.

  “Sorry to interrupt. Billy’s mom texted and wondered if Charlie was free for a sleepover tonight. They’ve been trying to plan one for a bit.”

  Mood forgotten, Charlie’s eyes widened, and he looked at Adam. “Can I, Dad? Please? Billy’s family is going away when I’m getting back from California, so we won’t see each other until the end of the summer.”

  Saying no would not only add to Charlie’s disappointment, Adam felt like it would make him a hypocrite.

  “Sure. If that’s what you want to do. But tomorrow night, you and me and a Minecraft marathon, okay?”

  Charlie jumped up and flung his arms around Adam’s neck. “Cool. Thanks, Dad.”

  He hugged him hard and whispered in his ear, “I love you.”

  Charlie leaned back and put his hands on Adam’s cheeks. “I love you, too.”

  “I texted. His mom can pick you up in twenty minutes. Better get your stuff together,” Megan said.

  Adam helped him gather his things to stay the night, not completely settled with the idea. He’d hoped to spend time with Charlie this evening, but he couldn’t exactly complain about his son wanting to play with a friend. Taking the time to walk Charlie out to the car when Billy and his mom, Angela, arrived, he introduced himself and stood in the driveway, waving as she pulled away with his boy.

  As he walked back toward the house, he thought of calling Dec. Nope. You pissed him off, too. Inside, he was surprised to see Megan had set the table for the two of them. She’d replaced their sodas with beer.

  “Hey. I thought you’d head home.”

  She froze on her way to the table. “Do you want me to?”

  Fuck no. The last thing he wanted was to be alone with himself. More than that, he didn’t want to be without her. Before he could measure his response, he told her the truth. “Not even a little bit.”

  She tilted her head. “I’d say if we’re really going to be friends, tonight is a good night to start. You look like you could use one.”

  He gave a harsh laugh. “I don’t seem to be great at keeping them.”

  She sat down and opened the pizza box. Pulling out a slice, she put it on her plate then pushed the box toward Adam. He sat down and took a couple of slices.

  Though they ate in silence, he was grateful she was there, sharing a pizza with him. Still, he wasn’t sure what made him open up, other than the fact that he knew she was willing to listen.

  “I closed the client.”

  Smiling at him, she wiped her mouth with a napkin, and he did his best not to look at her li
ps.

  “That’s great. Congratulations.”

  Swallowing down his bite, along with the nerves bouncing in his chest, he put his pizza down. “What you said, at the arcade, about me not giving Charlie the one thing he wants. Did you mean that?”

  As she met his gaze, he saw the sadness there. “He just wants to be with you, Adam. I know your work is important, but you can’t go back. You can’t redo this time, you know? You’re a great dad, and it’s so clear that Charlie is your world. But to a kid, he isn’t thinking big picture about his future and how you’re working toward it for him.”

  Adam sighed, picked up his own napkin, wiped his fingers, and then crumpled it. When he was a kid, he was so worried about his next meal, whether the rent was paid, or if his dad would be in a rage, he rarely thought about spending time together. Sure, he’d wished his dad would step up, be more, but his sole focus had been getting by and promising himself he wouldn’t always live with that worry.

  “I told him we’d go somewhere or do whatever he wanted when he gets back from being with Reece.”

  Her smile was hesitant. “That’s great. Uh, about what I said, you’re here every day. You do your best to tuck him in every night and have dinner with him and hang out on the weekends. I shouldn’t have judged you. I’m sorry.”

  “You were mad on his behalf. He’s lucky he has you. You’re his one constant.”

  And she’s leaving. He didn’t want to acknowledge how much that bothered him.

  “Don’t do that to yourself. Follow through on your promises and be there when you say you will. You’re doing everything else right. He’s a happy, well-adjusted little boy. And he loves his dad. So much. You know that, right?”

  He pressed his lips together. Logically, he knew Megan was right. But he knew from experience that constantly letting a kid down only led to them shutting off and turning away. Would Charlie stop believing his promises the way Adam had stopped believing his father?

  He startled when Megan’s hand slid over his on the table. “Adam?”