Let it Be Me

by Jody Holford

  “If you want, I can head back to my own place tonight,” she said.

  “Why would I want that?” He stepped closer to her and slid her light jacket off her shoulders. His touch sent a shiver through her body, but she wasn’t cold.

  While he hung her jacket in the hall closet, she reminded herself that he was capable of telling her he wanted space if he felt that way.

  “I just don’t want to overstay. As you said, I do steal the covers,” Megan said.

  Adam closed the closet and walked back to her. She swallowed her words when he went down on his knees, lifting one of her feet to remove a shoe. He trailed his fingertips up, over her calf, up to her thigh and then down. Looking at her, he grinned. She couldn’t stop her hand from running through his hair. She loved the feel of it against her skin.

  “You do. But I can live with that if it means you’re in bed beside me,” he said, lifting her other foot.

  In bed beside him for two weeks max. She was going to have to spend every moment she wasn’t with him reminding herself of why they weren’t a good long-term match.

  With her shoes off, she continued to look down at him as his hands stroked up one of her thighs and down again. Her belly flip-flopped when both hands came to her waist, and he nuzzled against her midriff. His hands moved over her restlessly, shifting her shirt so his lips found the sensitive skin of her stomach. He rose slowly, letting his mouth and fingers leave their mark, making her skin feel tight. It was almost too much to stand. “I need you,” he whispered against her mouth.

  Need between them would never be an issue. But without more, it could only ever be this—intense passion with a fast-approaching deadline. Stop thinking. She wanted every moment between now and when they walked away, so she shut down her thoughts and let herself feel everything he was willing to give. Like their time, it was limited. But it was all she needed for now.

  …

  She awoke after him again, the blankets tucked in snuggly around her warm body. He was looking at her as he straightened his tie.

  “You’re so quiet in the morning,” she said, her voice groggy and thick.

  “Or you just sleep really heavily.”

  She rolled onto her stomach. “Or you’re like a ninja account manager, stealth on your feet and with numbers.”

  His deep chuckle made her skin tingle. Adam rarely laughed hard unless Charlie was in the room. “I think I’ll get a name plate made for my desk that says ninja account manager. I like it.”

  Oh God. I like you. Way too much. Megan groaned and buried her head in his pillow. His hand touched her back, finding her skin through the blankets. His lips touched her ear.

  “I have to go to work. What are your plans for today?”

  Rolling to her side, she was surprised that he sat down on the edge of the bed.

  “I’m hoping to do some interviews. All three if possible, which means I might need to head out to the university if that makes it easier for them. Then I’ll keep packing. Have you thought about where you and Charlie will go when he gets home?”

  Adam frowned as he stroked her hair behind her ear. “Not really. I will, though. I’m meeting a client for appetizers at seven tonight. It was the only time that worked.”

  She shrugged. Did he think she wasn’t used to his schedule? No strings. No pressure. “Okay.”

  “Will you be here later?”

  Megan stretched and then sat up. Adam lifted the strap of her tank top back onto her shoulder, making her smile. He was sweet and attentive and didn’t even realize it. “Here or at my place. I want to clean out some of Charlie’s toys while he’s gone. If I do it while he’s here, he’ll decide that ones he hasn’t played with in a year are his absolute favorites.”

  Adam chuckled. “Okay. If you’re not here, I’ll come find you.”

  Because he wanted to see her? For sex. Duh. She shook her head, making Adam arch an eyebrow.

  “Nothing. Just being silly in my own head,” she said, answering his unasked question.

  He kissed her forehead then her lips before standing. “See you later.”

  “Not if I see you first,” she said, then groaned. She was far too used to talking to Charlie in the mornings.

  Adam laughed again, making her smile. “Now you’re being silly outside of your head, too.”

  “It happens. Job hazard,” she answered.

  When he stared at her a moment longer, she tried to decipher what his look meant, if anything. She couldn’t start reading into small gestures or words. He was still Adam, and she was Megan. Just because their relationship had changed didn’t mean they had.

  “See you tonight,” she said, lifting a hand.

  “You will.”

  When he left, she got out of bed and decided today would be a strip-the-beds-and-other-odd-jobs-to-keep-her-brain-from-fixating kind of day. Once the bedding was in the wash, she pulled up the names from her email. A promising list: Julie Spencer, Kevin McDade, and Sue McHale. All in their very early twenties, each enrolled in early childhood education at Thomas College. It was close enough to commute if necessary, though other than the last year, Megan had stacked her courses on certain days and scheduled them around Charlie’s needs.

  Professor Cawl had given her contact numbers, making it easy for Megan to connect with them. She left a message for Julie and Kevin when she got their voicemail, but Sue answered on the second ring.

  “Hi, Sue. My name is Megan Carter. Professor Cawl gave me your number when I told her I was looking for candidates for a nanny position in Brockton Point.” Nerves pummeled her stomach, and she couldn’t figure out why.

  Moving on was inevitable, and this was the most important step—ensuring Charlie had someone who would care for and love him when his dad was at work. Megan chatted with the girl for a few moments before arranging to meet her on campus during her break between classes that evening. When she hung up, she exhaled heavily. One down.

  She busied herself cleaning out the bins of toys in Charlie’s closet. He spent most of his time with Legos, books, and Minecraft so there were plenty of things to donate. Her mom texted, and they agreed to meet for lunch at Pop’s. Once she’d put the sheets in the dryer, she decided to run to her own place for a shower. She set her phone on the docking station and turned it up loud so she could hear it in the shower.

  Pink’s voice serenaded her as she stepped into the hot spray. Singing along at the top of her lungs as she scrubbed her body with vanilla-scented soap, she couldn’t help but grin. She was having a sexy, purely physical relationship with a man who’d hidden his hotness behind a reserved demeanor and boring ties. Just thinking of his hands on her body and his mouth on hers made the shower feel warmer. Who knew she could have this much fun on the pit stop between working toward her future and finding her forever?

  Once she’d rinsed her hair thoroughly, she turned off the shower and stepped out. Wrapping her hair tight, she grabbed another towel for her body, hips swaying to some of her favorite lyrics. Nothing wrong with a woman who took what she wanted and enjoyed the hell out of it. Megan laughed, feeling an unexpected surge of confidence. Trying to match Pink’s powerhouse voice, Megan sang the lyrics.

  And let loose a scream that drowned out the music when she saw Adam sitting on her bed, tie off and the first few buttons of his shirt undone. Laughing his ass off. Heart still trying to escape her chest, she backed up into the doorjamb, slamming her hip and dropping her towel. He put his hands up, and she knew the word he was trying to get out through his hysterical laughter was “sorry.”

  He stood, scooping up the towel on his way to her. Over the music, she heard him apologizing. He took her face in his hands as she clutched the towel to her chest.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s okay. I’m so sorry,” he kept saying in between fits of laughter.

  With one hand clenched on the towel, she thumped him on the chest with her other. “You scared the hell out of me. What are you doing here?” Sh
e wasn’t sure if she was shouting to drown out the music or the heavy beat of her heart drumming in her ears.

  Adam stepped away and turned the music down so it could barely be heard. Now all she heard was her heart.

  “I’m so sorry, Megan. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said with such tenderness that her heart didn’t just settle. It melted.

  “Why are you here?” She was mortifyingly close to tears.

  “I was trying to be spontaneous by surprising you with lunch. I heard you singing and came in. Realized you were in the shower and thought I’d join you, but the show was too good to interrupt.”

  She thumped him on the chest again with her fist, and he captured her hand, kissed it as he cradled her cheek with the other hand. Bending his knees so they were eye level, he pressed his forehead to hers.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I would never scare you like that on purpose,” he whispered.

  Megan’s breath snagged on the endearment, and the pressure in her chest had her gripping the towel against her body like a lifeline. Who was this man? Impulsive gestures and sweet names in the same day?

  He pulled her close, and she was still too stunned to stop him. Plus, now she was shivering. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms, then walked the few steps to her bedroom door and grabbed her robe. With swift movements, he placed it around her shoulders, took her hand, and led her to the bed, where he sat, pulling her onto his lap. His hands continued to rub her skin warm through the plush robe.

  Unable to stop herself, she curled into him, resting her head on his shoulder, breathing in the delicious scent of his cologne.

  “I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?”

  “I can’t make that decision just yet,” she answered into the crook of his neck.

  He chuckled, and Megan nipped his neck. “I definitely won’t forgive you if you keep laughing at me.”

  He rolled them onto her bed, and she took a second to tug the towel off of her head and shake out her hair. He looked down at her with a mixture of affection and amusement that made her stomach ache. She wanted more. So much more than he could give. But he was here, which was completely out of character for him. Was there any way he could grow to love her? She knew he’d stop himself if given the chance—she’d do the same, since she did not want her feelings for him to deepen. But what if it happened without his even realizing it?

  Adam stroked her cheek. “I’m not laughing at you. You’re adorable and so sweet I can hardly stand it. And while you’re sexy as hell, I have to tell you honestly…baby, you can’t sing.”

  Megan groaned and pressed her face into his chest. “I hate you a little bit right now.”

  He laughed again and pushed her onto her back. “I know. I deserve it. I’m sorry.”

  “Well, how about you do something to make it even?”

  “I brought lunch,” he said.

  Shit. Lunch! She jumped off of the bed and went to her closet to grab a shirt. “I’m supposed to meet my mom for lunch.”

  “Oh. That’s too bad. I’d hoped we could eat together,” he said. He boosted himself so he rested on both forearms.

  The sight of him sprawled on her bed, his shirt slightly open, his hair a bit messy, made her bite her lip and rethink her lunch plans.

  “Not today. Sorry. I’m meeting my mom and then heading to the Thomas College campus to interview a possible nanny. Afraid you’ll have to settle for giving me a dose of utter mortification and a rain check on lunch.”

  Trying not to embarrass herself further, very aware of his eyes watching her every movement, she pulled on a pair of underwear beneath the towel.

  Adam arched one of those perfectly groomed eyebrows. “I’ve seen you naked, Megan. Why are you hiding?”

  “Uh, because seeing me naked while we have sex is different than when I’ve just been humiliated while naked.”

  Adam sat up. “It was cute. Unbelievably cute. Even with your bad singing,” he teased.

  She threw the towel at his head when she went for her bra. Quickly clasping it, she pulled on her shirt. Adam put the towel in the hamper by her door and walked to where she stood in undies and a T-shirt.

  “What can I do so you don’t feel embarrassed?”

  Pursing her lips, she wondered why he’d even offer. Don’t read too much into it. He’s just being nice. He’s always been nice. Mostly. She started to speak, and he held up a hand.

  “I’m not singing,” he said.

  “Can you dance?” She laughed at the image that popped into her head.

  “I can sway back and forth to music. You want me to dance with you?”

  What did she want? To stop feeling so desperate to hang on to what they had going on and just enjoy it for what it was. Temporary. You’ll both take what you want and go your separate ways when it’s over. The thought constricted her lungs. She was attaching emotion and meaning to every little thing.

  Maybe she should try harder to tuck away some memories for nights when she knew she’d be missing him. Take charge for once. Take what you want. All she wanted was him. Going up on tiptoes, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his jaw, his cheek, and all the way to his ear. She smiled, deciding to push her fears and worries aside. Embrace this. Give yourself something to hold on to when he’s not here.

  She grinned. “Nope. I want you to dance for me.”

  His hands froze mid stroke on her back. “Excuse me?”

  Continuing to press soft kisses to the column of his neck, she smiled against his skin when he shuddered. “Tonight. My choice of song. One dance. By the end of that dance, you’ll be as naked as you found me.”

  He swore and pulled her tight against him. “You want me to strip for you?”

  Megan leaned back with a grin so wide it made her cheeks ache. “Oh, I so want you to strip for me. You did nearly give me a heart attack.”

  Worry lines creased the corners of his eyes. “I said I was sorry.”

  “Now you can show me how sorry.”

  His brows drew together like he was considering it. “You undress me to one song,” he negotiated.

  Megan laughed. “Where’s the fun in that?”

  Adam smiled and ran his hands up and down her skin. “You undressing me sounds incredibly fun. It’ll end the same way as if I stripped.”

  “That doesn’t seem fair.”

  Adam leaned down and kissed her just under her jaw, mimicking how she’d touched him. “I promise it’ll end well for you. I truly didn’t mean to embarrass you. I would never do anything to hurt you or upset you on purpose.”

  His words increased the pressure in her chest. He made it difficult to push the emotion aside. “You’re hard to argue with.”

  “Then let’s not spend our time arguing. Forgive me.”

  She already had. “I think I liked it better when you were easier to stay mad at,” she whispered.

  “So you’re not mad?”

  “No. And now I’m only mildly mortified, quite hungry, and completely turned on. You should go.”

  His laugh was quick and light. “Okay. I promise to take care of two out of three of those things tonight.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  He kissed her softly then pulled back and stepped away. “When you’re finished with the interview, come up to the main house. I’ll miss you by then.”

  As he backed toward the door, Megan placed a hand on her dresser and used the sturdy feel of the wood under her hand to steady herself. Had he really just said that? She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his footsteps leaving. There was officially no way she was getting out of this situation with her heart intact.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Adam walked back into the office and realized his stomach was growling. He’d been so distracted, he left the food in Megan’s kitchen. Who the hell wouldn’t be distracted by the racket that had been coming from her apartment when he’d let himself in with his key. He truly hadn’t meant to surprise her, but the images of her swaying into the bedroom, singi
ng her heart out, would make him smile for years to come. Years to come. They could be happy together, he realized. If both of them were willing to compromise a bit.

  “Mr. Harrelson is in your office, Mr. Klein. I told him you’d just stepped out to meet with a client,” Sonja said as he stopped at her desk to pick up a stack of messages.

  Harrelson owned the firm and only dropped by staff offices once a year, usually with good news. His stomach tightened. Adam was going to make partner. It hadn’t been the central focus of his life for over a week, and the panic of that realization stopped him in his tracks. What the hell? This was exactly what he’d worked for and wanted for years now. It was the ultimate brass ring and proof he was not his father’s son.

  “Mr. Klein? Are you okay?”

  Adam blinked, looked at his secretary, and nodded. Pull yourself together. What are you waiting for?

  “Fine. I’m fine. Thank you, Sonja.”

  Straightening his shoulders, Adam walked into his office, ready to take what he’d worked so hard for. What he deserved.

  “Mr. Harrelson. Nice to see you, sir,” Adam said.

  “You too, Adam,” he said.

  Even though he was a few inches shorter than Adam, he had presence. The way people who were used to being in charge did. Leaning on the edge of Adam’s desk, it felt weird when Mr. Harrelson suggested Adam take a seat. He’d never been invited to do so in his own office. Adam released the button on his suit jacket and sat down in one of the chairs his clients used. Nerves twisted, building strength and momentum. This was it.

  “I wanted to talk to you about this in person because I respect you and I respect your work, son.”

  Adam cringed at the term. “I appreciate that.”

  Harrelson adjusted his thick-framed glasses with one hand. His eyes looked comically large behind the lenses. What’s wrong with you, man? Stay focused. Shit.

  “The board voted, and unfortunately, you didn’t make partner this time around. I want you to know I think you should have, but as you know, the board exists so biases don’t influence decisions.”