Your Little Secret

by Cooper, Bethan

  As it all got overwhelming again for her, she reached in her pocket for her phone and quickly pulled it. She went for the one number was always her sanctum.

  "Well is my little Ambi now in the big ole city of London town?" Ethan answered the phone with a mirthful tone.

  "Yeah I am," she gave him back a blunt response, unable to feed off his enthusiasm.

  "I don't like the tone of your voice," Ethan spoke back with an evident frown.

  "I don't like it here. It's not the life I expected," she told him honestly, and she shook her head at how ungrateful she sounded, but Connor was living a life so unlike what they had before.

  "You've been there barely hours," Ethan stated the obvious. "Hardly long enough to acquaint yourselves with the plush life."

  "This isn't a life for me!" she cried out, tearing at her hair. "I don't deserve this!"

  "What do you mean you don't deserve it?" Ethan asked a little teasingly. "Is it because it’s not your little rundown shack?"

  "Yeah," she scoffed, humourlessly. "It's all chrome and glass and money literally thrown on every surface. I know he promised me a better life, but this isn't me," Amber literally sulked at the idea of how much money it took to even build this bathroom. "Plus, I cheated on him, Ethan. However much I wanted it, I still cheated. We still cheated."

  "You were drunk," Ethan stated to her with ease. Absolving all guilt with three little words.

  "I wasn't drunk!" she shouted back and covered her mouth. "I wasn't. I wasn't drunk, Ethan. Don't pawn me off as some drunken mistake."

  "You know you're not that," he commented back lightly, his tone steady. "You never could be."

  "Then why do you make me feel like I was?" she asked him, terrified to hear the truth.

  "Because maybe I'm the drunken mistake to you," Ethan responded, the ease and casual tone gone and replaced by a hardened, painful tone. "You ring me and tell me all of this and I'm supposed to not feel like I'm just a notch in your bed post. Then you make me feel like I have to give you permission to journey off to London and spend a week or whatever with the man that has what I want. Well, Amber, I told you to go to keep you happy so enjoy it, don't think of me, and choose him like you knew you were always going to."

  Amber felt grief prickle across her. He felt like a drunken mistake to her? She had made him feel like that when all she had done was fall even more in love with him.

  "You're not," Amber whimpered at him. "You're not a mistake. You're really not. Ethan, don't be like this," she tried to make him understand the real reason she finally caved and slept with him. "That night," she started and closed her eyes, "That night was-"

  "Don't do this," Ethan cut her off instantly. "Don't say anything. I don't have time for this, Ambi. Text me later, but remember the reason you went to London. It wasn't for me. It was to be with Connor."

  As the line went dead, Amber looked up and at her reflection in the large mirror. She looked awful, felt awful and her heart has ceased taking a normal beat now. That was the first time Ethan had ever hung up on her, and it felt twice as bad as watching Connor depart that first day for London.

  She couldn't question where her heart lay when she knew, but Ethan was right, like always. She had followed Connor to London in plight of the good life.

  Feeling the pain of rejection through her system, she ruffled her hair and smoothed out her eye makeup. Ethan clearly wanted to spend time with Eva, and did not care about her. Smiling at herself in the mirror she went to join Connor. If Ethan wasn't interested then she wouldn't waste her time worrying about what happened. Even though it meant the world to her, she wouldn't dwell on it if Ethan wasn't bothered about her. Walking back into the living area, Connor was relaxing on the couch and had the television blaring Britain's got talent. Amber wanted to feel needed, she couldn't let a one night stand with Ethan stop her life. She loved Connor, and he loved her, she would never tell him of Ethan and their situation. Breathing in a deep shuddering breath she straddled his lap and a lazy seductive smile grazed his lips. His fingers felt across her ribs, gently stroking up and down, sensitising her to what was about to happen.

  "I missed you, Amber." He growled as she leaned down to kiss his ear. Stroking her tongue along inside of his neck back to his ear she felt satisfied from the deep groans coming from him.

  "I missed you too," Amber whispered against his skin. Feeling him harden beneath his jeans she smiled as she reached his mouth. His fingers weaved through her hair, pulling her harshly to crash his mouth against hers. Letting his tongue slide and lock against hers, they fell into the rhythm they knew all too well. Turning from his mouth, Amber changed the channel on the TV to a music station and stood back from his lap. Moving her hips seductively, she gently pulled down the zip of her jacket and let it fall to the floor. Her tank top was filled with her cleavage and Connor watched in awe as his girlfriend danced for him.

  "You're so sexy, Amber." Leaning forward she put her finger against his lips and shushed him. Leaning back again, she lifted the tank top over her head she revealed her black bra to him. Now dressed in a black bra and light jeans she moved to the music and she loved the way Connor bit his lip as he watched her body sway to a deep hip-hop beat. She pushed Ethan to the back of her mind and focused on the happy memories she shared with Connor. He had been this huge part of her life for so long, she would feel relentless without him there for her. Stopping she turned to face him with a frown. Amber put her hands on her hips and sighed.

  "Where's my birthday present?" As she asked the question a look of fear swept Connor's face and she knew that he hasn't got her one. Feel the pang of hurt once more she felt her eyes begin to hurt.

  "Baby, me and you are the gift. Of course I got you something and I'll bring it too you soon." Smiling at her he held out his hand and pulled her into his lap. "I could never forget your birthday, baby. You're my life."

  Amber smiled meekly at that, the blush creeping up her face. “You’re amazing you know that right?” she asked him softly, her tone not moving up an octave or wavering. She just said watching him as she sat on his lap. He was, and always would be the epitome of perfect. It made her wonder why she was the chosen one in his life. She didn’t know what made her perfect to him, but she was. “You’re just amazing.”

  “I know I am,” he joked with her, “But only because you chose me.”

  As he said that last bit, Amber didn’t move. She sat shell shocked, frozen to her straddling position on his lap and just stared at him, wide eyed and her heart literally thudded harshly. She made him perfect, and that was the bottom line he stuck by.

  “Now,” he said, eying her up and down as if to wonder where to start.

  Seeing what he was doing, Amber couldn’t bring herself to get to that point just yet. “Remember our chat?” Amber asked, pausing the moment, freezing the rapidly unbinding arousal that was filling the air. She closed her eyes, sending a silent prayer that this wouldn’t transcend into a row.

  “Yeah,” Connor’s feather-light tone came, forcing her to open her eyes. He gently brought her hand up to his lips, kissing the knuckles gently. “We don’t have to make love, baby. I’m just happy to have you here with me at long last.”

  “I know,” she whispered at him, offering a small smile. “I really know, but I don’t want our relationship to be defined on make-up sex or first time together sex.”

  “We’ve been together now over twenty-four hours though,” he whined, his hands running up her waist line. “I want to be reacquainted with this,” he said continuing to run his hands up the course of her body, drawing her closer so he could kiss her.

  Dabbing a chaste kiss to his lips, she found herself unable to deepen it, or apply more passion. Her once zealous behaviour whenever Connor was involved was dampened and lacklustre. She knew she needed to kick herself for acting like this. Ethan had rejected her big time on the phone, now she had to pick herself up, and restart again. It might be like University all over again, but at least she knew t
he pain daggering into her heart would end.

  “This will be well worth the wait,” she literally vowed to him and gave him a wink. “Now, Mr. Pearce, what fun is there down South?”

  “Fancy a trip to ICEBAR?” he asked and saw her look confused, but decided to interest her and impress her all at once. “Usually you need a reserved slot, but not me, babe, we can just walk right in. Fancy going?”

  “What about dinner?” she asked him, unsure of the expense that was going to come with this.

  Connor smirked. “We’re going to Covent Garden. I made reservations before we left for the train.”

  “You did?” Amber squeaked at him in shock. “What is this restaurant?”

  “Balthazar’s,” he started smoothly, a hint of excitement in his tone. He was more than ready to indulge her in the good life. “I’ve had a lot of lunch dates with too many business men making acquisitions and high priced moves. I want to go and enjoy amazing food with a special girl in my life and enjoy the good life.”

  “Is it pricey?” Amber pressed onwards, trying to keep her cool and not panic over price tags. After all, this wasn’t her life. She loved Nando’s or TGI Friday’s, hell even a McDonald’s would have her sat happy for an evening.

  Connor laughed and gently pushed her off. “Let’s go and find something else for you to wear.”

  Gulping, Amber realised that sentence spoke more than it had to.

  ***

  Amber walked into the grand restaurant and immediately felt out of place. Part of her wanted to 'Check-in' on Facebook to show off, the other half knew that wouldn't gain her much reward in a restaurant of this calibre.

  Just as she began to shrink in on herself, feeling out of place, Connor's hand threaded around her back, his hand on her waist.

  "You are drop dead gorgeous. Everyone will be envious," he whispered into her ear as they were shown to their table.

  As Amber was handed a menu she gazed at the fine cutlery in front of her and Connor thanked the gentleman by name, who gave him a strange smile and nodded at him.

  Studying the menu Amber frowned. Leaning across the table gently she whispered to Connor. "It's all in French, babe. I never did French GCSE. Did you?"

  Connor had to forbid the urge to burst out laughing at Amber's remarks. He loved her and all her craziness. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear he smiled contently at her. "Baby, order whatever's in English, sod the price and enjoy this yeah?"

  Nodding at him, Amber looked around the restaurant at the other diners. "These people look really rich Connor. You sure this is okay?"

  Looking up at her irritated, he wavered to the waiter, "I've told you, order what you want babe." As the waiter walked over he asked for the wine menu and studied it for a few seconds before handing it back. "Could we please have half a bottle of your finest Dom Pérignon champagne?"

  The waiter looked at him, a curious look across his young features. His strong French accent was fluent in English. "Sir of course, you understand that is a £150 bottle oui?" Nodding at him, Connor smiled over at Amber and grabbed her hand.

  "It's her birthday, she's worth it." Giving them a slight an unnecessary bow, the waiter disappeared and Amber tried her hardest to feel in the moment.

  She was here, in London, in Convent Garden, with Connor Pearce, her favourite and most special person to her, yet she felt empty inside. Maybe the alcohol would loosen her up slightly. Connor's thumb ran gently across her knuckles back and forth and she felt such an amazing sense of security from him. Yes she was contradicting herself, but Connor had looked after her for such a long time.

  "So, how's the work going?" she asked him grateful for having this time to speak to him. At least it wasn't a five minute phone call.

  Staring at his menu, he took a moment to meet her crystal blue eyes and sighed. "Good I guess, God, how did I miss how beautiful you were Amber? How did I ever leave you behind?" Feeling the heat blush her cheeks she kicked him gently under the table, the compliment causing her to bite her lip.

  "Hey," Connor teased "best behaviour please Yorkshire girl." Smiling at him she looked back at her menu.

  "I guess I'll get asparagus to start please baby and umm." Staring hard at the title that said entrees she tried to figure out some desire from her hunger to flood her, but everything was too French and it wasn't McDonalds. "I'll have the grilled chicken." Looking up with a smile plastered across her face, Connor was buried in his iPhone. Amber watched him for a second as he smirked slightly at whoever he was talking to. "Clearly more interesting than me huh, babe?"

  He didn't even look up to meet her eyes, just finished what he was typing and went back to the menu. Amber decided to let it go, and assume it was business.

  The meal was neat and tidy and they casually spoke through the meal. Watching Connor and his true beauty still made her heart skip a beat, the fact he was so loyal and sweet to her when he needn't be. The bill came to around £300 but Connor just paid for it, in cash and left.

  He had insisted on sharing a soufflé and dessert wine, and Amber was beginning to feel a little fuzzy. Connors fingers weaved hers as they walked through Convent Garden towards a taxi station so they could head to the ICEBAR.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Amber was awake well before Connor the next day. She thought maybe it was the alcoholic buzz she went to bed with, or the fact she was sleeping in a strange bed that had awoken her and took advantage of the silence.

  Flicking through Facebook, she found nothing interested and scrolled back up to refresh the app on her phone. When she did, she was horrified to see a sight that had graced her only days ago. Eva had posted a photo of Ethan sleeping with the caption ‘My man, fast asleep after our wild night out together. Love me some Ethie, and cannot believe he thinks I’m the girl he’s going to spend the rest of his life with! I’m so lucky he chose me.”

  The sinking feeling in her heart disappointed her. It was a sign that said how Eva had won this round by affecting her so much, and the fact that Ethan had used those words hurt her. She closed her eyes as tears beckoned forth, and Ethan’s voice filled her ears and tortured her. It's supposed to be me and you, it always was Ambi. Shaking her head, she added salt to wounds by seeing the comments. She scoffed to herself as she saw twenty-four likes already and Ethan’s name establishing the first comment.

  “Not the best photo, babe, but too right, girl! You and I, Eva. We were supposed to be together again, and I made the best damn decision with you,” Amber tearfully whispered the words and wondered what really went so wrong.

  Immediately she locked her phone and looked down at Connor. Even though the same feeling didn’t wash over her like it had when she had woken to Ethan, Amber couldn’t deny that an actual Adonis slept beside her.

  Biting the bullet, she moved the sheet down his body so she could wake him, and then saw his eyes open and set upon hers. Beginning to push his boxer’s down, she knew this was Connor’s favourite wake up ever.

  “Mmm, you’re feeling frisky,” Connor grinned sleepily, allowing Amber to pull his boxer’s off entirely. He watched her literally prowl back up the bed, her body covering his inch by glorious inch. “I knew I shouldn’t have worn boxers,” he joked as she finally reached him and kissed him. This time, however, she worked with the over indulgent passion and lust that she had lacked the day before.

  Pulling back, she gazed lazily at him, drinking in the sight of his perfection. “I’m ready to enjoy this time with you,” Amber purred at him, coming to straddling him and sat on his stomach. “I’m sorry for my stupid behaviour. I just want you to know that I was a little overwhelmed yesterday and shocked by this life.” She kissed his chest, feeling the smoothness of his skin under her lips each time. “Now I’m going to make it up to you and really start this break away properly.”

  As she moved a little, Connor couldn’t help but grin. His hands came up to land on her hips and he didn’t care if there was foreplay or not. He had been hard for Amber since watch
ing her dress to go to Balthazar’s the previous evening.

  Amber said no more, she kept her eyes on him as she slide onto his hard erection and felt him fill her and thrust delight into her entire body. She couldn’t withhold the moan that slipped from her, and the moment Connor groaned out in pleasure, Amber leaned down to kiss his bare chest again before riding him with the starting of a paced rhythm. She needed this to recover, to heal, to really set her heart on the right path.

  Sitting back up, her hands clawing his bare chest, she continued to rock upon his body, drawing them closer to a climax. She heard him grunt and groan beneath her prowess, and Amber realised with each new thrust she elicited that she didn’t feel as dirty as she knew she should. Maybe all she needed was to give herself to Connor so to find absolution.

  She felt his hands on her hips as he came, and as worked him until she followed him into the blissful ecstasy. Literally collapsing against Connor’s chest, she rose up a little, feeling the fulfilment of his cock disappear as she pulled away from his stick rock hard cock.

  “Thank you,” he whispered at her, breathless and in awe. “You’ve never done it like that.”

  “I’ve been on top multiple times,” she chided with a grin, kissing him. “I like these wake ups though.”

  “Me too,” he grinned at her. “You really are a beauty, Amber. If I could, I would keep you locked here with me and never let you go.”

  “Maybe you can,” she joked with him.

  “I will, but you and I are going sightseeing!” he exclaimed at her excitedly. “Then I am keeping you in bed all tomorrow.”

  “Sounds a good plan to me,” she told him and began to sit up a little. “Want a cup of tea?” Amber asked, biting her lip as she remained spent. She could easily get them a drink and crawl back under the covers.

  “Mmm,” Connor moaned as she moved off him. “Sounds good. Remember to make mine-”

  “Strong. I know, I know,” Amber replied with an eye roll and nodded. She dropped him a kiss and then stood up, taking her phone with her and grabbing one of his shirts to use as a cover up.