Full Measures

by Rebecca Yarros

  She nodded her head. “Yeah, he was out last year, but I didn’t really talk to him. I mean, he was on campus and at the parties, but it’s not like we ran in the same circles, even living next door. Did he tell you what happened?”

  I shook my head.

  “Rumor is he got shot that fall, but there’s like ten thousand different versions of how it happened.”

  Shot. Holy shit, he’d been shot? “What’s the most popular?”

  “I heard everything from stopping a robbery to a pissed-off girlfriend.”

  Tweedledee and Tweedledum took their seats behind us again. What were the odds? These were the seats Josh had given us . . . Josh. I glanced back at the blondes with a smile. “Nice to see you, ladies.”

  Tweedledee glared at me. “Yeah. What’s the deal with you and Walker?”

  I gave my best go-to-hell smile. “He’s just my whatever. You guys enjoy the game, okay?”

  I turned around and ignored their scoffs and comments about how hot Josh was. I couldn’t blame any of the population for fawning over him. Hell, by the end of the first period, he had me reduced to nearly drooling with want. When he checked someone into the boards, I flashed back to feeling him press me against a wall, undoubtedly his signature move. When I watched him skating backward, I remembered him pulling me down the ice, so careful with me. When he took a shot, I saw his fist flying through Riley’s face, ready to destroy him for hurting me. When he adjusted his grip on the stick, I swore I could feel his hands on my body. The temperature in the rink called for a coat, but I was on freaking fire.

  He scored, his arms raised in victory, and he met my eyes with a joyful smile before being assaulted by his teammates. It was me he was searching for.

  There was no way to deny it, and I didn’t want to. I was in love with him.

  By the end of the third period, I was ashamed to admit that I didn’t care they’d won, or that Josh had scored two of the five goals and assisted one. I just wanted him alone. The buzzer announced the end of the game, and the arena exploded in applause.

  “Hey, can you take my car home for me?” I asked Sam as we waited for the crowd to clear the concrete stairway.

  “Planning on catching a ride with a certain player?” She winked.

  “Something tells me he’ll bring me home.” I laughed, and it felt good. I could do this, be happy, if that’s what this ecstatic feeling bubbling through me was.

  I might have skipped down the back of the arena to the player’s entrance for all my feet hit the floor. I had to tell him. He needed to know. I didn’t even care if he reciprocated. Well, that was a lie. Of course I cared, but it was more of an epiphany that I could feel this way again and not hide it. It wasn’t about what he felt for me as much as it was what I was now capable of feeling for him.

  The hallway was crowded, but I found a spare piece of wall and waited while the Tweedle twins glared from near the entrance. I understood their infatuation, but they didn’t know him. No one knew him like I did. To them, he was a hot hockey player and a great lay. To me . . . he was everything.

  Anticipation made the wait seem like forever, but the first players finally trickled out, shaking hands and giving high fives down the lined walkway. I didn’t have to wait long.

  Josh burst through the locker-room doors and the hallway was filled with thunderous approval. He gave his cocky smile, the one that had girls flocking around him, touching him, but he cut through.

  His eyes swept up and down the corridor before locking onto mine. The smile that came across his face was anything but cocky. It was the slow, sexy one he reserved for me. It made me think of peeling his clothes off his body right where he stood and made me bolder with every step he took closer to me.

  I reached for his hand, and he brought mine to his lips, kissing the back. “Thanks for coming.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Our moment was interrupted by Tweedledee and Tweedledum. “Hey, Josh, give us a ride to the after-party?”

  They slid up against him, one on the side, one on the front, doing their best to push me out of the way. How aggressive could two girls get? He expertly turned, sliding me past the girls. “Ember? Do you want to go to the after-party?”

  I shook my head slowly, ready to burst with everything I needed to tell him. I couldn’t contain it, or it was going to come shining out of me like I was some dysfunctional Care Bear.

  He gave a nod. “Want to end the night? I’ll take you home, babe.”

  “Walker! You ready to go for that division trophy?” someone in the crowd shouted.

  “I’ve already got my trophy!” he called back with a heart-stopping grin. He lifted me by my hips, holding me above his head. “I’d better put you back in that glass case,” he teased.

  Other players pushed through the hallway, making the noise level unbearable. I slid down his body and brought my mouth to his ear. “I want you to take me home with you.”

  He pulled back. A dropped jaw and wide eyes met mine. “December?”

  My smile was so bright it felt like it belonged to someone else. “I’m in love with you, Josh Walker. Take. Me. Home.”

  The stunned glaze over his eyes lasted all of two seconds before his mouth descended on mine. We might as well have been alone for the way he kissed me. He was fierce, unyielding, demanding everything I had to give. My fingers tunneled through his hair as he slanted my mouth over his.

  “But, Josh! The party?” one girl called out.

  “Ember is my party.” He called back before returning to my mouth. He carried me from the building without breaking the kiss, enormous bag of gear and all.

  The metal of the Jeep’s frame chilled through my jacket as he leaned me against it, kissing the very breath out of me in the icy night air. He paused long enough to unlock my door and open it; then he was back to kissing and lowering me into the seat at the same time. How could he be in complete control? I was ready to knock him to the ground in the parking lot.

  A click, and he’d locked my seat belt into place. I grasped the back of his neck and held him to me, desperate to drink him in.

  He moaned against my mouth. “You have to let me go.”

  “No.” I’d finally given myself permission, and I wasn’t backing down.

  I ran my hand along his coat, unzipping it and then skimming my hand under his shirt to trace the line of his abs. I had his muscles memorized, and tonight I was going to lick every ridge of them. “I can’t wait to put my mouth here.” My fingers pressed into his skin.

  “December.” He breathed my name like a prayer. “Let go. Now.” He pushed my hands down, but his eyes told me it was the last thing he wanted to do. “Let me go now before I fuck you in my Jeep in the middle of a damned parking lot.”

  “Maybe that’s what I want.” Any flat surface sounded great. Scratch that. Any surface would do.

  He bit his lip in the way that drove me mad and took a ragged breath. “My bed. That was the deal, remember?”

  Memories flashed. “God, yes, I remember everything about that night: your hands on my body, the way you drive me insane.” I arched into him, pulling his mouth to mine. “You want me in your bed, Josh?”

  His eyes were impossibly dark against the black sky. “Yes.” He bit out the word. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life.”

  “Then you’d better drive fast.”

  Weaving expertly through traffic, he got us home in fifteen minutes flat. Impressive, considering he’d dealt with demolition-derby-style traffic getting out of the arena. Even more impressive considering I used the time to become intimately acquainted with the skin of his neck. He gave the most delectable gasps when I took my teeth lightly to his earlobe. I couldn’t wait to hear the sound again.

  The Jeep jolted to a stop in his parking spot, and I had my door open before he could get around to my side. I flung myself into his arms. He caught me easily.

  I lost myself in the feel, the texture of his mouth. He tasted like straw
berries and Josh. I became the aggressor as we stumbled inside, running my tongue along the line of his teeth, craving every bit of him that I could get.

  I heard a ding, and I was against the wall. My head lolled back, and Josh nipped at my neck. Chills raced down my body, followed by streaks of heat that ran straight to my thighs.

  Another ding and he lifted me into his arms. His breathing was ragged, but he walked normally as he kissed me. He wasn’t winded from carrying me; he was just as lost in lust as I was. The thought turned me on to an impossible new level. I was going to catch fire at any moment.

  I let his mouth go once we reached his door, only to run my tongue down the salty skin of his neck. Whatever this man wore made him freaking edible. I heard a click, and we were moving again, stumbling to turn on lights. “You can put me down,” I suggested.

  “Not until you’re in my bed.” His open mouth rested against my neck. “God, December, you can’t know how long I’ve dreamed of having you in my bed.” That earned him another soul-destroying kiss. Or earned me one, rather. Hell, we were both winners in my book.

  Chapter Twenty

  We made it through the living room and into Josh’s bedroom. He flicked on the bedside lamp, illuminating the room in a soft glow. I would have looked around if I’d really cared at that moment, but the only focus in my mind was how fast I could get him out of his clothes.

  He slowly lowered me to the bed, and I wanted to squeal in victory. His weight pressed me further into the soft down comforter, and I was surrounded by the feel and scent of him. I slipped my legs from his back, and he rested in the cradle of my thighs, pressing into me.

  Heaven.

  “Slow. Have to slow down,” he muttered to himself as his eyes raked up my body.

  His hands slipped off my boots before he ran them up the outsides of my thighs. He squeezed my waist as his mouth captured mine again, intoxicating me. His hair threaded like silk through my fingers. He broke away from my mouth, skimming his lips down my neck. Chills danced along my spine, and I arched, giving him better access as my fingers bit into his scalp. “Josh,” I moaned as he traced the sensitive path toward my collarbone.

  “So sweet,” he whispered against my skin. He slid against my body with delicious friction, running his tongue along my navel as he slowly raised my sweater. He glanced up with questioning eyes and waited for me to nod my assent before he slid it over my head, kissing me again as it passed my mouth.

  Then his lips were back on my stomach, teasing, tracing the hollows and planes of my abdomen. He made me feel beautiful, desired. As my back bowed off the bed, driving my hips up to his, he slipped his hands behind me and removed my bra with a flick of a few fingers. He slipped the straps down reverently, his breath catching as my breasts were bared to him. “I’ve never seen a more perfect woman.”

  As turned-on as I already was, his words were like gasoline on a fire. I wrenched myself to sit as he kneeled between my thighs, gripped his shirt at the waist, and tugged it over his head. His body was even better than I remembered. I ran my fingertips over the hard planes of his stomach, and the fuck-me lines that framed his washboard abs and trailed into his jeans. I couldn’t help it; I sank my fingers into his waistband and brought him to my mouth. There wasn’t one spare ounce of fat on him, no give, no softness.

  I worshipped the carved ridges of his stomach with my tongue, and quickly became addicted to the taste of Josh Walker. He sucked in his breath through his teeth, and when I raised my eyes to meet his, they were focused on me. His hands delved into my hair, holding me lightly to him, but clenching and unclenching his fists as though he was unable to control his own motions.

  I did that to him, made him lose control, and I loved every bit of it. In a matter of seconds I had his jeans unbuttoned and sliding off his perfectly round ass to pool at his knees. “Ember,” he growled in warning. Men with asses like his shouldn’t be allowed near the female population. My hands grazed over the elastic of his boxers, but I couldn’t bring myself to pull them down, no matter how badly I needed to touch him, see him.

  I met his eyes and nearly forgot what I was doing. The intensity radiating from his gaze sent a surge through my stomach, and I knew that without any other foreplay, I was ready for him. I’d never wanted something so badly in my life.

  My hands explored his thighs, barely brushing under the legs of his boxers. I loved the texture of his skin, the crisp hair, the incredible way he smelled, like rain and sandalwood and . . . Josh. When my fingers caught the raised portion of his skin, I slid the leg of his boxers up to see the scar on his left leg.

  “This is where you were shot?” I asked.

  He didn’t deny it, or ask how I knew. “Yes.” His answer was gruff, his voice thick with what I hoped was desire.

  “Are you ever going to tell me what happened to you?” It wasn’t the right moment to ask, but I couldn’t help it. I was about to surrender my body to him, and I deserved something of his in return.

  His warm hand stroked over my hair and slid forward to cup my cheek as I fell into those eyes. “Just in the wrong place at the wrong time, baby. But I guess it led me to you, so it’s more like the right place at the right time.”

  I fell even harder, if it was possible, letting go of the disappointment of not knowing yet what had happened to him. I leaned forward and kissed his scar, hating what it meant, the end of his dreams, but hoping I could help him figure out what his new ones would be. Then I reached around and firmly grabbed his beautiful ass.

  “December, you have to stop, or I’m going to snap. I’m trying to go slow for you,” he growled, retreating.

  Gathering every ounce of courage I could muster, I pulled his hand from my cheek, turned the palm to my skin and drew it down, through the valley between my breasts, over my stomach, and into my jeans. He sucked in his breath, and I held mine as I brought him under my panties to feel the warm, wet folds underneath. He stroked across my clit once, and my hips bucked. “Snap already, Josh. I’m on fire for you. I don’t need you to go slowly; I need to know what you feel like inside me.”

  In one motion, he discarded his jeans and was working the fly of mine. I lifted my hips as he slid the denim over them and down my legs. The ache between my thighs intensified to torturous as he looked over me like a buffet. “Fucking perfect. Every inch of you.”

  Before I could reply, his head was between my thighs, breathing on me through the thin silk of my panties. I couldn’t even be embarrassed that they were drenched through; I was too caught up in my desperation for him. My hips lifted to his mouth of their own accord. My body knew where it belonged. “Josh . . .”

  He breathed against me again, sending a ripple of need straight through me. “What do you need, baby?”

  “You.” My hips bucked against his mouth.

  “Me?” He laughed seductively. Oh yes, he knew exactly how to twist a girl into knots.

  I brought myself up on my elbows. “Joshua Walker, if you don’t put your damn hands on me in two seconds, I’m walking out that door.” I wasn’t putting up with his teasing. He had to be as lost as I was.

  Before I could count to two, he dragged my panties down…with his teeth. I moaned at the sight.

  Once they were lost to the oblivion of Josh’s bedroom, he was back on top of me, stroking my skin, relearning every curve and plane. “Jesus, I can barely control myself around you, December. You’re so fucking . . .” His voice drifted as his hands covered my breasts, pulling lightly on my nipples, rolling them until I thrashed beneath him.

  “So. What?” I managed to get out.

  Where I expected to see that slow, sexy smile was the fiercest glare I’d ever seen. If I didn’t know him so well, I’d have been afraid. “Mine.” He growled, his hands stroking up to cup my face. “You’re so fucking mine.”

  He took my lips in an intense kiss, and as if I’d heard it snap, I knew his control was gone. I clenched his hips like a vise as he stroked himself over me, his erection gliding jus
t enough where I needed it to wreck me, but not enough to get me off. I could only whimper and take what he gave as he controlled me, stroking his tongue into my mouth at the same speed he was thrusting against me. But I wanted more, eager to feel his skin against mine with no barrier.

  Desperation made me do the one thing I thought I never could: I pulled down his boxers.

  He groaned against my mouth, and with his free hand lost the boxers. For the first time in my life, I was in bed with a naked man, and it was glorious. I angled against him, knowing that if he moved the slightest fraction of an inch, he’d be inside me. God, I needed him there. I needed him to stop the ache, to quell the burn.

  “Josh—” I rolled my hips against him. “Please . . .”

  His breath ragged, he ripped his mouth away from mine, reaching for a foil packet in his nightstand.

  A wave of reality rolled over me. He kept condoms in his nightstand. How many girls had he brought to this bed? How many times had he torn panties off with his teeth? How many girls had been right where I was at this moment? Worse, what did it mean about me that it didn’t change what I had decided to do?

  “Ember?” He stilled above me.

  I shook my head and feigned a smile. “I’m just glad you’re prepared.”

  Something almost intangible flickered through his eyes, and his lust-sharpened features softened in a smile. “December Howard, you’re the first girl I’ve ever brought into this bed.”

  “But you, and all those girls…”

  He shook his head. “Never here. I have never brought any other woman into this bed. You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted here. This is my space, and you’re a part of me. No one else ever has been.”

  I was the first woman in this bed. A possessive smile graced my face, and I stole the packet from him, ripping it open, and then stared at it. Opening it was all well and good, but putting it on . . .