Fractured Hearts

by SJD Peterson

  Charlie stared at him in shock. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re just trying to make me feel better, and to be honest it doesn’t, it just pisses me off.”

  Trevor smiled that lopsided smile she loved so much, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I should paddle you for calling me a liar. I told you I would never lie to you.”

  Charlie ducked her head. “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve him.”

  Trevor tilted her head up, forced her to look back at him. His eyes burned with intensity. “Now I’m the one pissed off. You two are going to give me gray hairs. I swear, Charlie, if you give me gray hairs before I’m thirty, I’m so gonna spank that little ass of yours—and not in a good way. How in the hell did I fall in love with the two most stubborn people on the planet?”

  “Just lucky?”

  Trevor growled at her, then nipped her chin. “Let’s go home. I think the three of us have some shit to sort out, wouldn’t you say?”

  Charlie still wasn’t convinced. She knew Trevor would do and say anything to keep her from crying, but she did want to go home. She wanted to put the ugliness of Drake behind them if they could, and she knew they couldn’t do that sitting in a hospital room. She placed a soft kiss to Trevor’s cheek. “Yeah, take me home.”

  She wasn’t sure anymore if home was with Trevor and Kegan, but prayed it was.

  * * * *

  As they pulled up to the main house of the Trev-Ke Ranch, Charlie felt giddy with relief when she saw Kegan standing on the large front porch watching their approach.

  He really was okay. She could barely wait for the truck to stop before she bolted out of the door and ran to him. He didn’t meet her halfway or open his arms to her, just stood there watching her come toward him. A tingle started at the base of her neck and creeped down her spine. Something was wrong.

  Charlie slowed, but continued toward him. He looked so tired and drawn. The dark circles under his bloodshot eyes were testament to a man having had no sleep. His usual rosy complexion was ashen and drawn, his hair in disarray around his bearded face. Charlie hadn’t ever seen him look so broken, not even after the many fights he’d had with Drake. Her heart ached for him.

  She took the stairs slowly. “Kegan?”

  As she reached the top step, he finally blinked and reached out to pull her against his broad chest. He shook so badly as he leaned into her, she feared his weight would topple her.

  “Welcome home, Charlie.” His voice sounded rough and unused.

  To Charlie’s utter shock, he placed a kiss on the top of her head, then pulled away and walked past her toward the truck. “I’ll get your things.”

  Charlie couldn’t do anything but stare at his back as he descended the stairs. His usually powerful, confident stride was tense and erratic.

  She met Trevor’s concerned gaze and saw the hopelessness he felt. Charlie wanted to weep, but she was too stunned. She couldn’t speak, too overcome with grief to move. She watched as Kegan opened the back door, pulled out her suitcase, then headed back toward the house. He kept his eyes down at his feet and never looked up as he moved past her.

  She was still trying to get a grasp on what had just happened when Trevor pulled her to his chest. “Give him time.”

  Time? She wasn’t sure time was the only thing Kegan needed. She wasn’t really sure what he needed, but had a sickening feeling it wasn’t her.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Charlie wore an oversized white T-shirt and comfy fleece pants with pink hearts. As outfits went, it was pretty silly—still, it wasn’t as bad as what she looked like without PJs.

  She avoided looking at her face in the mirror. The ugly bruises and scabbed skin only served as a reminder of what Drake had done to her, and not just in the physical sense.

  Kegan still hadn’t come in from fixing fences, though she knew the crew had returned long ago. It could only mean that he was avoiding her, and she couldn’t really say she blamed him much. Hell, she couldn’t stand the sight of herself and probably looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Charlie turned from the room and shut off the lights before she could dwell any further on feeling sorry for herself. It wouldn’t do her a damn bit of good to let self-pity take root—it wouldn’t change a thing.

  Trevor was already in bed when she made her way in the dark, guided by his slow, even breathing, hoping she wouldn’t wake him. She carefully slid beneath the sheets, stayed close to the edge as she stretched out on her back. Charlie lay silent, eyes toward the ceiling, though it was too dark to see anything in the nearly pitch-black room. She was afraid to close her eyes, scared that the images of Drake would return.

  Lying in bed, clothed and feeling alone was at least an improvement from the nightmares. She hadn’t even realized how hard she was straining to hear sounds of Kegan entering the house until she jerked when Trevor’s arm wrap around her. She hadn’t even felt him move toward her on the bed.

  “You okay?” Trevor whispered as he pulled her closer against him.

  “Yeah, I think I am right now. I’m just not ready to close my eyes yet, ya know?” The weight of his arm across her was a comfort and took away some of the loneliness, yet here in their bed also reinforced what was missing.

  “It’s okay to sleep, Charlie. I’ll be right here and won’t let anything happen to you.”

  “I know, but there isn’t a whole lot you can do to protect me against the nightmares.”

  Trevor was silent for a long time, breathing deep and even, but he didn’t sleep. His fingers continued to make random patterns against the fabric of her T-shirt and across her back. “Feels weird with you being clothed. Do you realize it’s the first time we’ve allowed you to come to bed like that? I must be getting soft.”

  Yeah, and it was the first time Kegan hadn’t joined them, but she wouldn’t say it out loud. No doubt Trevor felt Kegan’s loss as strongly as she did. “I figured I’d save you one night of having to look at my uglies,” she teased, doing her best to make the statement sound light, but it came out sounding sad.

  The instant the sentence was out of her mouth, Trevor rolled them until she was in the center of the bed, then leaned over her. He brushed his lips lightly over hers, then across her cheeks. He pressed his lips to each bruised area of her face, a mere wisp of gentleness that touched her heart like a delicate sigh. Trevor pushed her shirt up, gently made his way down her body with a kiss or a swipe of tongue here and there as he moved, until he placed light, tickling kisses to her belly.

  “You’re still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen since the moment I first laid eyes on you.”

  “That’s because it’s too dark to see my new freaky look.”

  Charlie instantly missed the heat of Trevor’s body when he pulled away. Only then did she realize how close she was to losing it and how his nearness had kept her from falling over the edge of despair. He couldn’t totally make up for Kegan’s absence but Trevor’s touch kept her from being crushed by it. She held her breath when he turned on the soft light of the bedside lamp and leaned back over her as his eyes wandered across her face, down her bruised and battered neck and shoulders.

  Trevor gently pushed her T-shirt over her head and arms, looked right into her eyes. “Yep, even in the light, you’re still the most beautiful thing in my world.” He brushed his lips against her shoulder, and his fingertips lightly feathered against her belly. “If I’m real, real careful can I kiss your uglies?”

  Charlie let out the breath she’d been holding, but she couldn’t speak, too overcome with emotion. As much as she loved how commanding and dominant Trevor could be, she loved him even more in this moment for knowing exactly what she needed. She nodded, unable to trust her voice.

  Trevor gave her one of his brilliant smiles, dipped his head, then gave her body the same delicate attention he’d given her face. Charlie lifted her hips off the bed as he pushed down her pajama bottoms, the warmth of his hands followed by his lips and tongue. By the time he reached her fe
et and her pants were gone, her arousal had begun to push aside her need for his gentleness, replaced by a hunger much more primal and immediate. Trevor moved back up her body, mumbling endearments against her skin, and her desire for a deeper contact made her squirm with impatience.

  “Please,” Charlie moaned as he reached her thighs, his touch amazing, but not where she wanted it the most.

  “Tell me what you need.”

  “You,” she begged, reaching down to tug at his dark curls and encouraging him upward.

  Trevor placed a light kiss to her hip, his gaze on hers. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “You won’t. Please, Trevor, I need you so bad I ache.” She needed to know that she was still desirable to him. Needed to feel his powerful body against hers, inside her, to remind her she wasn’t alone, that she was alive. She wanted the reassurance Drake hadn’t destroyed everything in her life.

  Trevor brought her to climax over and over again with hands, mouth and body until she lay with him wrapped tightly around her, protective and possessive.

  It hadn’t only been she who needed to reconnect, needed reassurances. Trevor had nearly sobbed as he’d come deep inside her, had yelled out her name repeatedly until he’d collapsed onto her, his tear-streaked cheeks brushed against hers.

  For the first time since she’d been kidnapped, they had taken a step toward healing. It was a relief but they both knew it wasn’t enough.

  Charlie had reached out unconsciously during their lovemaking, automatically searching for Kegan, only to encounter Trevor’s hand that had been seeking the same thing.

  A moment shared, an unspoken acknowledgment that even as wonderful as their passion was, they still yearned for the touch of the one person needed to complete them.

  * * * *

  At dawn, Trevor left a sleeping Charlie to search for Kegan. He knew she’d be scared and a little confused if she woke up alone, so he’d left the light on and a note telling her to wait in bed for him so he could give her a proper wakeup when he returned.

  The last thing he wanted was for her to doubt herself any more than she already was. For fuck’s sake, had he actually cried as he’d come last night? Jesus, he was turning into such a fucking sap, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never been so scared in his life as when Drake had taken Charlie, and with the helplessness he felt about Kegan, he just couldn’t seem to get his emotions under control.

  Well, the stuff with Kegan had messed with his head for a while but he was beginning to accept what was growing, or more honestly, what had already grown between them over the years. It was more of an unspoken acceptance at the moment and not something that seemed right to act on when Charlie had been missing. Now that she was back where she belonged, he’d give anything for the three of them to truly be a threesome, but first he had to figure out a way to reach Kegan through his grief and help him work through it.

  He wouldn’t give up. Trevor knew what he needed, knew what Charlie and Kegan needed, he just didn’t know how he was going to make them realize it was standing right in front of them.

  After searching the house, unable to find Kegan, Trevor headed out to the barn and spotted Cade.

  “Hey, Cade, you seen Kegan this morning?”

  “Mornin’, boss. Nope, haven’t seen him since I saw him head out last night.”

  “Head out?”

  “Yeah, he packed Taz down with a saddlebag and roll, said he needed some thinking time. Everything all right? How’s Miss Charlie?”

  Trevor rubbed the tension at the back of his neck that seemed to have taken up permanent residence lately. “Yeah, everything’s fine. Charlie’s settling back in and seemed to have a good sleep last night. I just want to set the schedule quick and get back before she wakes up. You need anything?”

  Cade handed him the clipboard with the daily schedule. “I already have it set for you. Figured you didn’t need the extra worry right now. If you want me to make any changes, just let me know.”

  Trevor looked down at the clipboard, then back up at Cade without reaching for it. “Thanks. I trust you got it right.” Cade was a damn fine hand to have around. Solid and he took care of shit that needed to get done, went about his day without bitching no matter what they asked him to do. Cade had followed him and Kegan when they’d left the old man’s ranch to set up their own and had been a big reason they’d been so successful. Shit, he was a dolt. He hadn’t thanked the man for all the shit he’d put up with recently. Christ, how the fuck had he forgotten that Cade had been attacked by Drake too, and he hadn’t even asked the man how he was? Fuck!

  “Shit, Cade, I forgot to ask you how the hell you’re doing. Piss-poor excuse goin’ on about my own shit, I didn’t even ask how your head was healing.”

  Cade pushed back his hat and knocked his knuckles against his forehead. “Can’t hurt this hard-ass thing, don’t even give it another thought.” He looked down at his boots and shuffled. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop him.” Regret was evident in his voice.

  “Don’t even go there. I know you did all you could. I’m just…” Damn, he felt like he’d lose it again. What the hell was wrong with him? He cleared his throat. “Yeah, we’re good. I’m gonna head back up to the house. When you see Kegan, let him know I’m looking for him, all right?”

  Cade pulled his hat down back over his eyes and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll tell him. Now get the hell out of here and let me get to work.” He started to turn, then stopped. “Tell Charlie I’m…uh… Just tell her I’m glad she’s okay.”

  “Yeah, I’ll tell her, and Cade?”

  He looked back over his shoulder and met Trevor’s gaze. “Yeah?”

  “Thanks.”

  Cade nodded once then walked off toward the schedule board.

  Trevor headed back up to the house and wished he could set things to rights with Kegan as easily as he had with Cade.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  The warm May morning was perfect, well as far as the weather was concerned. Not a single cloud in the sky, the temperature was already warm enough to go without a jacket, and it wasn’t even ten a.m. yet.

  For once, the weatherman had been right and it should be up in the high seventies by afternoon and nothing but perfectly blue skies. Too bad Charlie didn’t feel as great in her skin as the sun felt against it.

  The last couple of nights she’d slept with Trevor snuggled close, but Kegan hadn’t joined them. She could hear him come in late at night and try to be quiet when he snuck into his old room, but Charlie knew.

  She would wait for the sounds of the back door then his footsteps on the stairs. It wasn’t until she heard him settle into his room that she allowed herself to drift off to a fretful sleep. It wasn’t exactly the security she needed, but at least she felt somewhat better knowing he was at least in for the night.

  Charlie did her best to return the comfort Trevor offered. She knew she wasn’t the only one missing Kegan. Trevor had tried to get Kegan to talk to him more than once but would ultimately throw his hands up in frustration and walk off in a huff. It wasn’t new for the two of them to have a rough go telling each other how they felt, but she thought this time might be a little different and sympathized with Trevor’s growing uneasiness.

  It was getting so bad she was afraid to poke at anything too deeply, scared shitless that if she did, heartache and pain would drown them all. Yet at the same time, she wished something would happen. Anything. Living in limbo was hell in its own right, unable to go back and change wrongs, but none of them seemed to know how to move forward.

  Charlie leaned against the door of the barn waiting for Cade to finish with his chores. He’d promised her he’d help get her up to speed on all she had missed when she felt better. Trevor wasn’t happy she was in the barn this morning but if she had to spend one more minute sitting on her ass moping, or worse yet, watch Trevor do the same, she’d pull her hair out.

  “Jesus, Charlie, not only have you got two hot and sexy cowboys in the house, now
you’re keeping some in the barn too. No wonder I can’t find one, you greedy bitch.”

  Charlie couldn’t help but laugh at Rae’s mock glare as she walked up, put her arm around her shoulder and bumped their hips together.

  “Hey, Rae. Did you come all this way to visit me or just to ogle the eye candy? Wait, never mind, stupid question.”

  “The eye candy,” they said in unison and laughed easily.

  Rae hoisted up the large pink-and-brown striped bag she carried. “I got manicure and pedicure supplies, and fat-ass snacks that are so decadent they’ll wipe out any depressing thought you’ve ever had.” She winked with a slight smile. “And if that don’t work, I got us enough fuzzy navel fixings to have us singing old show tunes and wiggling our asses until the Fourth of July.”

  “I’m so about that. But since I’m already wiggling to the pain med dance, I’ll have to settle for drowning in decadents and virgin fuzzy navels. How about I introduce you to the eye candy and then we can head up and hide in my room with your little bag—uh, big bag of wicked goodies.”

  “Oh yeah, lead the way, oh queen of hot man flesh.”

  Charlie laughed and led her best friend toward Cade, Rae’s tongue wagging all the way. “Hey, Cade, got someone who wants to meet you.”

  Cade tipped his hat back and wiped his hands on an old rag as he headed over to them.

  “Rachel, this is Cade Jamison. Cade, meet my sometimes sane friend, Rachel Lang.”

  Cade reached out and took Rae’s outstretched hand, but instead of shaking it, he brought her hand to his lips and tipped his hat at her with the other. “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Rachel.”

  Charlie nearly busted a gut at the look on Rae’s face. The way she swayed a little and flushed at his greeting, one would think she’d never had anyone kiss her hand before. Charlie gave her a nudge to get her to focus before she started sputtering.