A Broken Forever

by Megan Noelle

  “I just figured I was up so I would make you a little breakfast in bed.” Even just saying the words filled me with pride.

  Richard took my hands from his chest, allowing him to turn towards me. “Oh honey, that is so thoughtful of you. It really means so much to me that you did that.” I smiled but had a feeling there was more following what he had to say. “It’s just that I have a work breakfast I have to get to.”

  “A work breakfast?” I questioned, crossing my arms over my chest, suddenly wishing we were not having this conversation in the shower.

  “Yeah, with a coworker of mine.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What is a work breakfast?”

  “I’m going with a coworker of mine to breakfast this morning to discuss some new hospital policies.”

  “Okay, but isn’t that considered work? That could be done in a meeting with the others that need to know this information. You are legally not allowed to ‘work’ outside of work, even if it is just a breakfast thing.”

  “Yes darling, but we are just calling it a friendly breakfast, it isn’t a big deal.”

  “Yeah but why would you even plan a breakfast at this time of day? Until you came home early, you were under the impression that you would be working much later than this.”

  Richard’s face paled and that’s when it hit me. “You didn’t come home early last night because you wanted to see me. You came home because you had plans and wanted to go to breakfast with this coworker.”

  “Grey, of course I wanted to see you.”

  “That was just a side note though.” I added, his reaction was unnecessary, the slight tightening of his jaw was enough. I should have known he wouldn’t just leave his job for me.

  “Honey, that’s not it at all. I’m happy I got to see you and we really did need a nice evening like that. You just know how important my work is and she has been on vacation for the past couple of weeks. I offered to fill her in and decided that it would be better to meet in the morning, uninterrupted by the chaos that covers every inch of the hospital.”

  “Wait,” I threw my hand up. “She, so you came home early so you could go to breakfast with another woman!?”

  “Another doctor who happens to be female.” Richard tried to clarify but that didn’t matter to me. The blissful and passionate moments from the night before all felt like a lie. I got up, made breakfast and was going to surprise him as the ignorant fiancé that really doesn’t know her fiancé as well as she thought.

  “That doesn’t matter. You told me you were home for me. I thought we were going to have a chance to be together this morning before I have to go to work. Turns out that even on your day off I won’t even come first.”

  Richard looked stunned and frankly, so did I. It wasn’t often that I truly complained about Richard’s work. It bothered me but I knew he loved it and most of the time I was okay just being alone. It wasn’t until I really needed him did I realize the importance in his eyes.

  “That isn’t it, you will always come first.”

  “After breakfast, right?” He had nothing to say back. “Are you done in here? I’d like to use the water to get ready to go to work.”

  “Yes, I’m done.” He shimmied past me, opened the door but just before he left he turned back to me. “I’m sorry about this, Grey.”

  “Yeah.” Was all I said as I flipped the water from lukewarm to scalding hot.

  Even after making sure the person I thought was causing all the stress in my life was gone, I was realizing my other problems weren’t going away. The biggest issue I had now was my fiancé’s work. It made me happy that he was doing something he loved but why did I have to feel our time was sacrificed in the process. I understood having a time consuming job but I also worked more than necessary because I was filling the time when Richard was at the hospital. I no longer knew if I could stand back, smiling, as he left me alone. Or if something needed to change before we said ‘I do’ this October.

  I finished my shower and stomped into the bedroom to dress for work. Sometime between putting on a bra and picking out a shirt Richard called down the hallway that he was headed out. I responded with a courtesy grunt but nothing more. Once I finished getting dressed, styling my hair and applying a natural makeup look I made my way to the kitchen. If there would have been a punching bag in the room, I would have socked it across the jaw. Not a single thing in the kitchen had been touched. The coffee pot was full, the grapefruit still sat out and even the toast was popped in the toaster.

  I understood that he was on his way to breakfast but he didn’t do a single thing. Little gestures such as this one made it a huge turn off to try again after things went so wrong the first time. And now, I had completely lost my appetite. Just out of spite I threw everything into the trash and dumped the coffee down the sink. I prayed Richard would come home, go to throw something away and notice what I did. The words ‘childish’ and ‘petty’ crept into my thoughts, but I didn’t care. I was pissed and this time, I felt I had every right to be.

  My bad mood continued as I entered my car, got stuck in traffic and almost got sideswiped by a dump truck. Days like this I should just do society a favor and crawl back under the covers, but that would do no good since Richard would be there. I parked my car and as I walked into the salon I was ready to bite anyone’s head off who glanced at me wrong. I couldn’t have been more than two steps inside when I saw the most incredible flower arrangement sitting on top of the receptionist’s desk.

  My eyes bulged out as an arrangement of at least two dozen flowers—a combination of pink roses, pink stargazer lilies, and purple lisianthus—brightened the room. Tyler was standing behind the reception desk, reading what I assumed to be the card it came with.

  “Holy flowers!” I finally said, “Those are stunning.”

  “I know they are! The florist just delivered them here!” He exclaimed, hardly hiding his excitement.

  “Are they for you?” I asked and he let out a sigh.

  “I wish, there’s actually no name.”

  “Seriously? Who would send a bouquet like this and not sign a card?”

  Tyler shrugged and held out the piece of paper he had been studying. “No idea, but have a look.”

  On one side was the florist’s business name and on the back were two simple lines that read:

  Please talk to me, GR.

  Xox

  “Any idea who GR is?” Tyler asked and suddenly my cheeks flushed a fierce shade of red that I hoped Ty didn’t notice.

  “Yeah,” here I thought maybe Richard would have sent flowers as a way to apologize for the horrible way our morning started. I had even been softening to him already, trying to decide what the best way to apologize would be.

  Now I realized I was an even bigger idiot than I thought. Not only were the flowers not from my fiancé but they were from the man I had convinced myself I was better without. Richard hardly understood that he did anything wrong while Stefan was already trying to find a way to make things right.

  “Who is it?” Tyler asked excitedly, at the prospect of solving the mystery of the beautiful flowers.

  “It’s me.”

  He raised an eyebrow and looked me up and down skeptically. “How do you know? Are you just trying to claim these flowers for yourself?? You’re Greyson Desmond, so your initials are GD not GR.”

  “Yeah, my first and last name would be GD but my name is Greyson Rose Desmond—so, GR.”

  He didn’t believe me just yet. “Your name is Greyson Rose?”

  “Yeah, why? Didn’t you know that at all?” I asked, hardly able to tear my eyes away from the breathtaking sight.

  “Um, no. I don’t know why I would either, no one calls you Greyson Rose.”

  “One person does.” And I decided right then that Tyler didn’t need to know that one person was none other than Stefan Harrison.

  Tyler swiped the note from my hands once again, his eyes growing even larger than before. “Who!?” He asked excitedly, while
he checked the card again for a name he might have forgotten.

  “Oh my Lord! Those flowers are beautiful!” Kacie’s voice came from the opposite direction and for the first time Tyler and I looked away from the bouquet.

  “Aren’t they stunning?” Tyler asked her.

  “Uh yeah,” Kacie nodded her head still dazed. “When did they get here and how did I not see them before?”

  Tyler waved a hand dismissively in the air. “Oh you had just gone to the back, they haven’t even been here for more than five minutes.”

  “Who are they even for?”

  I glanced up from the desk and caught Tyler’s smug look. He prided himself on knowing everything about everyone in this salon. Now that I’ve claimed to have a nickname he didn’t know about, it was clearly getting under his skin. “Greyson Rose.”

  Kacie’s head snapped toward me. She knew all too well that wasn’t a name anyone she knew ever called me. “What?” She asked for clarification.

  Before I could react Tyler held the card out for Kacie to take. She read it once, then twice before giving me a puzzled expression. “GR? How do you know that’s Greyson Rose?” I damn near let out a relieved sigh as Kacie focused her question on Tyler instead of me.

  Not that my victory would be long lived. “Grey claimed to be GR when I was trying to figure it out.”

  Now I had all of Kacie’s attention. “Why would you assume the GR is for your name? Does anyone even call you that?”

  Tyler thrust a finger toward Kacie, “My point exactly!”

  “Yes, I’m not making it up.” I felt my defenses spring into action. Picking up our phone and dialing Stefan’s number to prove to them the flowers were for me, was becoming very appealing. Of course then I would have a whole slew of new questions.

  “Who calls you that?”

  “Richard,” I stated as matter-of-factly as I could. This topic was getting ridiculously out of hand and it was just about my name. If I were to bring up Stefan I would never hear the end of it.

  “Since when?” Kacie questioned, not one to believe quite so easily.

  “Since forever, it’s a pet name that I don’t like being called by everyone. He uses it between the two of us and if you don’t believe me, fine. Leave the flowers right up here for everyone, there’s no room at my station anyway.”

  I could hardly believe the look on both of their faces’ they weren’t able to hide their shame. “Sorry, hun.” Kacie was the first to speak up.

  “I guess I just never heard it, so I naturally assumed you were…”

  She paused for lack of a better word, but Tyler was right there to fill in the blanks. “Full of shit.” Kacie shrugged her shoulders but nodded apologetically.

  “It makes sense though, having little names for each other.”

  “Yeah,” was the only response I mumbled out.

  “Anyway, whatever, they’re yours—now spill!” Tyler’s eyes pressed into the counter top as he greedily leaned forward to soak up the gossip.

  “Spill what?” I asked, not quite on the same wave length.

  His mouth gaped open, “Seriously?? The man probably spent about two hundred dollars on these—he had to have done something!”

  “Oh yeah,” I finally remembered the whole reason for the conversation and why the flowers showed up. Kacie’s interest was piqued once again and I felt my skin heat under her glare. I wasn’t sure why I got the feeling she was watching everything I did, but that was exactly the way it seemed. That she was going to go run and report every single word I said to someone else.

  I was never one to dive into my personal life for topics to discuss with my friends, but if my story wasn’t solid I knew it would bite me in the ass later. And not in a good way. As uncomfortable as it might be, I decided to get as realistic as I could.

  “Well, okay, Richard came home last night and we haven’t spent actual time together lately. Either my ankle has been hurting, my car’s been messed up, or he has been in the hospital at work. He was scheduled to work a 30-hour shift and wouldn’t be home until about the middle of the day today. Well he showed up and I was blown away and he said it was because it was time we just had a night to be together.”

  “Holy swoon!” Tyler yelled out, fanning himself elaborately with his hand.

  Kacie laughed, and I began feeling euphoric, almost addicting sensation bubbling up inside of me. I’ve known those girls who gossip to their friends every chance they had and I never understood them—until now. Even though this story was true and personal it was becoming a necessity to get the words out. To watch their faces for reactions and to see if my responses were right.

  Richard had never before done something like he did this morning. He has never left me in the shower, or purposely didn’t tell me things while feeding me lines of crap. It was foreign, and I hated it but now I needed to know if they thought my reaction was fair.

  “Right!” I called out, responding to Tyler before pressing on. “So anyway, we make passionate love and it has been so long since we did that. It was incredible and when we went to bed everything felt so…wonderful.” The word surfaced on a sigh. “When I woke up this morning I decided to do something special for him because he came home early from work for me. So, I go make him breakfast, and I never make breakfast. But I make it look really nice and I hear him wake up and the first thing he does is jump into the shower.”

  Tyler’s jaw dropped with irritation. “Yeah, I was bummed too but I figured, no big deal, I’ll just join him in there. I go in there, not only does he looked shocked to see me, but he doesn’t even try to touch me. I tell him I made breakfast and he says he was going to go out to breakfast with a coworker—a female coworker!”

  Tyler smacked his hand on the top of the desk. “Shut the front door!”

  “Exactly! I was so pissed off and I didn’t know what to think, but then I put it together and realized that wasn’t all. He didn’t come home to spend a nice evening with me—he got off work early so he could go to breakfast with her.”

  “Damn, I’d be fuming!” Kacie pitched in and in her eyes it was clear that she was no longer questioning the origin of the flowers. At least I had a story that properly fit this situation—even if Richard wasn’t the sender.

  “Hell yeah, what did you do?” Tyler’s eyes danced with adrenaline as he drank in every word I said.

  “I didn’t say anything and honestly neither did he. A courtesy ‘goodbye’ was the most I got but I refused to respond. This made me feel absolutely mortified! Here I am, getting so easily excited at the prospect of Richard truly going out of his way for me. He may as well have slapped me in the face, it probably would have hurt less.”

  My body sunk into a pout, I required coffee or chocolate to get out of this funk. Kacie’s arm wrapped around my neck, leaning her head against mine offering that true best friend support.

  “I’m sorry, babe, but at least he realized what he did wrong and had these sent here!” Her optimism should have evoked more enthusiasm than the grunt I provided, but I wasn’t in the mood to play along anymore.

  Perhaps this was why I never revealed every intimate detail about my love life with people. Now that I spilled everything, received feedback and vindication for my upset emotions—I only felt worse. Talking did nothing to solve it and knowing that I would now be forced to play along and show off my devoted fiancé to all who came in.

  “Flowers can’t fix everything.” I mumbled, reaching out, taking hold of the vase. Tyler jumped back as if the flower’s trance had been broken.

  “Where are you taking those?”

  “Don’t worry, Ty, you’ll still be able to look at them. You will just need to be in the break room to do it.” With that I marched off through the salon and into our little sanctuary. The one large round table undoubtedly looked better with the added floral touch. It was here in this space away from prying eyes I could truly just gaze at them.

  A gesture of this size should not surprise me when it came to Stef
an. This was not his biggest apology by far but I still found myself melting at the sight. While I did not exactly expect Stefan to listen to my words yesterday and completely back away, I was still never expecting this. Like a spindle to a spinning wheel, I was Sleeping Beauty, under the spell of the beauty in front of me. My finger reached out and with a feather light touch, I rubbed the petal of the most beautiful stargazer lily I had ever laid eyes on. Only Stefan could manage to send something that had the ability to literally take my breath away.

  As I sniffed the air, sighed reluctantly and stared without disturbance, my mind couldn’t resist drifting back to high school. I had found Stefan in an abandoned hallway during the middle of class, while I had been on my way to the bathroom. The well-known school slut had her filthy hands running down the front of his shirt and I absolutely flipped shit. Seeing him cuddled up away from the public eye hurt so badly but the fact that it was her, made a piece of my heart shatter.

  I had started screaming, and watched him pull away from her. He had approached me with that panicked look that struck his impeccable features. Immediately my hands reached out and shoved him as far away from me as I could get. By the time he went in for a second embrace the surrounding classrooms were beginning to pipe up about the events. That day I found myself to be exceptionally lucky that Jayden’s class was within ear shot.

  He ran from the class, avoiding the teacher’s threats of detention, he had swept in between us and folded me within his grasp. As we were pulled away from the gut wrenching sight I heard my voice yell out that we were finished. I had been trapped within my mind, shaking and scared while my body and voice separated from my soul and lunged with a vengeance.

  Jayden had finally pulled me away but didn’t stop until we had reached his car in the parking lot. Driving away from the school that day I had never believed there was a way to make up for this. It wasn’t just about what I saw, it was about what I hadn’t seen. And that single question would bear down on me until I mentally went insane. It would be impossible to return from that moment in time—at least, that’s what I believed.