A Broken Forever

by Megan Noelle

  Stefan Harrison: I did. And I am. But I can’t help certain feelings that arise whenever you’re near. I’ll try to keep it under control if it bothers you so much. As long as you understand it’ll be going against nature to not be able to touch you.

  Another came in before I had a chance to even process the words.

  Stefan Harrison: I’ll be good. I promise to keep my instincts under control. Just don’t tell me I need to stay away again.

  Of all the reactions I expected to have, a school girl type of smile wasn’t one of them. The logical part of my brain stood firm that in no way was this okay. Friends did not get as close as we had today. And if they did, they most definitely weren’t engaged.

  Me: I’m not going to tell you to stay away. I like having you around. I just don’t want our friendship to cross any lines.

  Stefan Harrison: Deal! =]

  Before I let myself hold an entire text conversation in my car, I powered off my phone and went inside. As soon as Richard was in reach I wrapped my arms around him and sealed a passionate kiss over his mouth. The surprise he felt faded away as we quickly moved our greeting into the bedroom. Something felt off the entire time, but I let the pleasure overpower all thought. It worked until we no longer were driven by the need for release.

  Richard cleaned up, kissed me hard, and returned to the dinner preparation I had interrupted. Opting for a shower before joining him was almost a necessity. The hot water beat against my oversensitive skin while my mind ran wild. Something didn’t feel right during our love making, and it went much deeper than physical sensation. The wondering drove me to near insanity. The only conclusion I sufficiently acquired was that the bit of skin Stefan had traced an invisible square on was more sensitive than the place that just reached orgasm.

  The next morning Richard reminded me of his 30-hour shift that began that afternoon. We laid in bed an extra twenty minutes longer than was normal for either of us. Just cuddling together. Richard filled me in on the latest patients he dealt with, and other work drama. I listened intently, engaged in the stories he told, and just enjoyed the little time we had together. When he began to hint with his kisses that he was in the mood for a repeat of the night before, I stopped him. Something in my head was creating a mental block from giving my body to him right now. As much as I wanted to satisfy him and let our passions take control, it wasn’t right.

  It wouldn’t be fair to him if I spent our rare moments of ecstasy wondering what made me feel the way I did. There were subtle hints of disappointment when he gave up and prepared for the long day ahead. It made me feel even worse to turn him down but I never wanted to give him only a piece of me. The man deserved all of me, always. Anything less, and it just wasn’t alright.

  With a kiss goodbye, I made my way out to my car for another day. My phone had been fully charged during the night, but I resisted turning it on until I was out of the house. Waiting for the screen to load completely was excruciating. My leg bobbed obnoxiously but once the wait was over, I was rewarded with a message from the person I had been most anxious to hear from.

  Stefan Harrison: Morning Pretty Girl. We had a few break-ins to a couple different customer homes last name. It’s crazy here, as it usually is if this happens. Anyway, won’t be able to stop by today. Just didn’t want you to wait to have lunch with me this time. Talk soon xox.

  Stefan Harrison: Oh, and I had a little something delivered to the salon to make up for the lack of me today. ; )

  My entire demeanor crumbled exponentially. First, I was a flaky fiancée and couldn’t give my love what he needed. Second, the visitor that had been making my days excessively better wasn’t able to drop in. When I finally arrived at the salon the others buzzed about the delivery a local coffee shop made. Courtesy of Stefan. Fresh coffee, scones, muffins, and an array of other little tasty treats spread across our break room table. It was all fantastic, but wasn’t enough to sweeten my sour mood.

  The day progressed—barely. It felt that every time I checked the clock I was sure an hour had passed and it had been only minutes. I half thought of just telling the others I was sick so I could go home to sleep off whatever was weighing down my mood. Eventually I decided that would only be worse. It wasn’t as if Richard would be home later that night, at least giving me something to look forward to. Instead it would be nothing but an evening of sulking and that seemed far from enjoyable.

  In the end, I stayed until the salon closed, helped clean up and took the long way home. It took about one minute of being alone in that big apartment to make the dreaded feeling of loneliness set in. I plopped down onto the couch and sent a message to Richard but after ten minutes of no response I figured he was in the middle of something big. I could always call the Brooks sisters, it was only a little after 10:30 and there was no doubt they would be awake. I just wasn’t in the mood, though.

  Another ten minutes of silently debating what to do, and I composed a text to Stefan.

  Me: Thank you for the coffee. The whole staff loved it! Sry about the work craziness today. Hope everything was resolved.

  Not even five minutes went by before Stefan’s reply came in.

  Stefan Harrison: Happy you all enjoyed! And I’ll let you know when it is, looks like this will be another late night. At least the people stayed safe and my guys got there before the thieves were able to get away with anything.

  Me: Your guys got there? What does that mean? Don’t you have a building full of employees to help you out?

  As I waited for the next message to buzz in I searched the kitchen for something to snack on. I fixed up a quick deli sandwich and returned to the couch to check messages.

  Stefan Harrison: Guess I haven’t explained it too well, have I? Basically, we are Harrison Towers because we have two buildings. The one I work in is where the business end is handled. The other is where a team of men that have either military, police force, or similar backgrounds work. They monitor the cameras 24/7 and if something is happening, they go to that location immediately. Other security companies alert the police. W/us, our guys know what to do and keep our customers safe until police officers arrive.

  Stefan Harrison: There are many people that work here but I’m very specific. They will handle the day2day stuff but certain bits I refuse to let others do. Setting up the new accounts within our system-I do. Handling the data entry after break in’s-I do. It’s important it is all done right. And to insure that, I do it myself.

  Me: You know, you impress me immensely, Stef. This is a truly honorable line of work and you take it very seriously. This will sound cheesy, but I am so proud of you.

  Stefan Harrison: Babe, that one text was all I needed to make me remember why I do what I do. Thank you. Xox.

  There was nothing more I wanted to send through messages. For some bizarre reason I got the sudden idea that instead of just letting sleep ease my sour mood—I had to see Stefan. After another late, stressful night I wanted to stop in and make everything better the way he had for me.

  Within minutes I was out the door and back in my car, heading once again to Harrison Towers. If I stopped to think about it, I would more than likely talk myself out of it and return home. Keeping my mind preoccupied became easier the louder the radio sang out. Singing along worked even better and before I knew it I was parked in front of the building. Last time I was here a guard told me there was no parking here, but no signs warned me away. Something told me though that even if it was a no parking zone my car would be in this exact spot whenever I came back.

  I pushed through the glass doors with no resistance, which surprised me considering this was a security company. One would think after hours the doors and everything else would be sealed up tight. It was eerie walking through the dimly lit, empty lobby toward the elevators. Every other time I had been here dozens of people moved about, coming and going. My finger shook as I called for the elevator. Immediately the doors opened and I jumped back, afraid something was waiting inside.

  After co
nvincing myself some killer wasn’t going to pop down from the ceiling, I got in and pressed Stefan’s floor. The doors closed but nothing happened for a few moments. Just as I was about to try something else, the elevator jolted, carrying me to the top. The reception desk was lit by only a single desk lamp instead of the annoying face of Stefan’s assistant. Moving down the hall a soft illumination peeked under the doors of his personal office.

  With a deep breath to reduce the shakiness in my bones, I turned the knob and quietly walked in. My earlier vision of Stefan sitting at his desk in a big empty building with a single light wasn’t far from the truth. The lamp was brighter than I had originally imagined but the rest remained the same. Stefan’s soft chuckle brought me from my thoughts as I focused on him.

  “Were you trying to sneak up on me, Miss Desmond?”

  I pulled the door closed behind me. “Would it be possible?”

  Stefan’s eyes followed my cautious steps towards him, leaning back in his extravagant leather chair. He folded his arms behind his head and smiled.

  “Perhaps. If I didn’t own a security company that has cameras in hundreds of different places covering the building.”

  I pressed my palms flat against his desk and leaned in marginally. He never left his casual pose and his eyes never moved from me.

  “So you’re saying you knew I was here?”

  The smirk on his lips grew. “Something like that.”

  “When did you realize I was here?”

  A single eyebrow rose. “Do you really want to know?” I nodded. “The second you pulled up.”

  “Seriously?” My hopes of surprising him deflated and the frown on my face surely showed it.

  He pointed a finger to a ginormous flat screen TV that had a two by four changing grid of camera feeds, showcasing all areas of the building.

  “How do you think you managed to get in?”

  “You unlocked the front doors from here??”

  It looked like he was trying to veil the depth of his enjoyment. “I did. And no one can just get to my floor unless someone approves it.”

  Narrowing my eyes I crossed my arms over my chest, determined to challenge him and find the cracks in his system. “Well how does the first person get up here in the morning? I’m assuming if you have stairs that there is still some kind of security on the door to keep them from getting in. Besides, this is twenty floors up, do you expect the first here in the morning to walk up all those flights with a special code to get in?”

  His enjoyment never faltered. “That would be cruel of me. Wouldn’t it?”

  “Horribly! Don’t tell me you do that. Exercise can be great but if your morning starter broke their leg and the only way to get inside was climbing all those steps…” I shook my head for affect. “I don’t even want to think about it.”

  He bit down onto his lip to suppress his laugh as he pulled out his phone. Holding it up toward me he pushed a few buttons and revealed an application I had never seen before. Repeated in numerous lines down the screen were the colors of a stop light.

  “Each of these represents a different door, lock, etc. Anyone pushes against a locked door, tries to get into specific rooms, or selects my floor in the elevator, I get an alert. Green lets them in, red is immediate rejection and if they were to try again within eight seconds, an alarm goes off near them. The yellow is for when I need to ask for identification before deciding how to proceed.”

  “Okay, so you have some big fancy electronic device helping you out. What if someone buzzes and you’re asleep?”

  “Light sleeper, and I hardly sleep anymore as it is.” The pull to ask more about his sleeping habits was strong, but I had to remain focused.

  “Fine, what if your cell phone dies and you aren’t in the office somewhere?”

  “Easy, each employee on this floor has a key to the panel in the elevator. Behind that panel are the typical elevator wires and commands but another smaller door is just above that. They need a second key to gain access, and once it pops open there is a keypad. Each week I provide a new password and the employee enters it. Then, they are on their way. None of that requires my attention. I’ll receive notice that the elevator button was pressed, but that is all.”

  His victorious smirk made me even more determined to find a flaw. “What if they forgot the keys, or if you forgot to send the new code?”

  “If they forget their keys they better return home and get them. It was very clearly laid out in every interview, that in order to become an employee at Harrison Towers you need to be able to handle that scrutiny. If they don’t think they can maintain the level of security that goes into every little day-to-day task, I thank them for stopping by. In the end, everyone knows what to expect from me and this job.”

  “What if…” Before my next question was out, he was on his feet with my arm in his grasp. He pulled me down the hall toward the elevator at a hurried pace that made me fear he was sick of my questions. Just as the apologies were about to begin pouring out, we both entered the elevator. Stefan selected the first floor and we began our descent.

  His arms folded across his chest while he leaned against the opposite wall, watching me closely.

  “Are you sending me home?”

  He let out a boisterous laugh, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. I’m answering your questions before you have a chance to ask anymore.”

  I narrowed my eyes at his half-attempt at an insult. “Hilarious.”

  We stopped, the doors opened and without thinking twice Stefan selected the 20th floor. The doors closed again. Holding up his buzzing phone I saw the alert come up, just as he described. He locked the screen again, but we remained stationary.

  “You’re going to take these keys and do as I described to get us back upstairs. Or we will be locked in the elevator until someone comes along.”

  My head snapped up from the locked panel to his grinning face. “What do you mean? How would we get locked in?”

  “If you can’t get in through the panels there is no way to enter a code to get us back upstairs. And if you get in but screw up the code twice the elevator locks until an outside party lets us out.”

  “But why would you want me to risk that?? I don’t even know what the code is, Stefan.”

  He pressed two keys into the palm of my hand, letting his lips move up against the edge of my ear. “I’ll tell you the code, and I have faith you’ll get us out.”

  I gulped, trying to ignore the tingling feeling that quickly spread from the point of contact.

  “Just focus.”

  With that he reclaimed his spot against the wall and waited. I had no idea what I was doing or which key unlocked which door but I wasn’t going to back down. Examining the keys for the first time they looked almost identical. With another glance I realized one was slightly smaller than the other. Picking up the bigger of the two I slid it into the first lock and as soon as I twisted, the panel popped open. Stefan gave one approving nod, and I focused on the next.

  Just as he said upstairs, the second lock was at the top of the inner panel. Twisting the small key produced a little keypad, the buttons replicating the pattern on a calculator. I was about to turn to Stefan and ask for the code, but I didn’t have to. His arms appeared on either side of the wall in front of me. The heat from his body made me pant, as we became dangerously close.

  My voice had long since gone and all I could do was try not to mess this up. His cheek rest against the back of my head, as his lips moved along the edge of my ear once more.

  “Take the keypad in your hand.” I did. “Enter the numbers just as I say them to you.”

  “Do you understand me, Greyson Rose?” The low rumble vibrated my ear and went all the way down my back.

  “Yes.” I gasped out.

  “Good girl. Now, enter these numbers: 9-4-3-7-6-8-2.” My fingers shook, but I selected every number exactly the way he relayed it.

  A few seconds after I entered the last number the 20th floor button illumina
ted, and the elevator took off. A sense of excitement made me sigh but Stefan’s arms encircled me as he put the panels back in order. The last panel closed and Stefan’s arms returned to the wall behind me. Turning to face him I dared to meet his eyes. Instantly I recognized the look that surfaced on his features—pure arousal.

  “That was a long code.” I lamely noted. It was all I could think to deter the desire building around us.

  He nodded his head, never moving away. “Seven digits.”

  “Like a phone number.” I snorted out with an awkward laugh.

  His lips curled as he nodded again. Then it hit me, those numbers seemed somewhat familiar, but why?

  Reading the processing thoughts tumbling around my mind, Stefan repeated the numbers; saying each one clear and precise.

  “That…is that my old phone number?” He grinned wickedly.

  “The first number you ever gave me.”

  “Is that a coincidence?” Shaking his head with a laugh I felt my body turning to mush.

  “Not even a little. Every single code has something to do with our life together. The date we met, our first date, first kiss, the first time you said you loved me. I would have used the date I fell in love with you, but it would be the same as our first time we met. And I don’t like reusing codes until months later.”

  My hands moved to the front of his shirt, whether it had been to push him away I could no longer remember. My fingers curled into the soft fabric and I felt my weight shift until I was completely pressed against him.

  “You remember all of the dates of those moments?”

  “Every single one.”

  Suddenly our lips crashed together as the passion and tension built to a level neither could deny. They moved as one but a burning need for more took every single sense in my body hostage. My hands slid around his neck, while his circled my waist, holding our bodies flush against the other. His lips left mine and before I could protest, they were against my neck. Kissing, tracing his tongue, and pressing a single nip against my throat that elicited a moan from deep within my chest.