Fractured

by Leanne Pearson

  We’d re-told our brush with disaster yesterday a dozen times over after arriving back at the resort last night, drenched, and exhausted. Dom and I felt like pseudo-celebrities as we were peppered with questions and then fed biscuits and sweet tea upon our return.

  “Okay, spill. What’s going on with you two? And don’t tell me it’s nothing. That dance at the hotel, the stolen glances? I can feel the sexual tension. It’s so strong, just being around the two of you is turning me on,” Sarah says.

  Damn, have we been that obvious? I suppose the tender looks between us were impossible to miss. I don’t want to lie to Sarah, she’s my best friend, but I’m just not ready to reveal us as a couple. I’m still processing what we are in my head. Sarah would be thrilled to bits, but others may not. If I confided in her, she’d unintentionally let it slip. I’m not feeling strong enough to handle the judgement from others. After all, it’s only been eight months since Danny died.

  Being the perceptive man that he is, Dom asked me if I’d be prefer keeping us under wraps until I’m comfortable enough to make our couple status known. Our close circle knows there’s something between us. They’re not blind. In time, we’ll reveal our relationship.

  “We’re enjoying each other’s company for now, Sarah. I admit I see him as more than a friend, but I can’t quantify what we are exactly.”

  Chase and Dom returning with drinks interrupt our conversation. As I watch them approach, a fluttering spreads through my lower belly.

  “You are so imagining that man without a stitch of clothing on.” Sarah chuckles.

  My face flushes.

  “He’s a damn fine specimen that’s for sure. Thing is, are you going to be okay with every other woman thinking the same, Katy? ‘Cos if your spectacle at the club is anything to go by, I have my doubts.”

  She has a point.

  “So ladies, fancy a light dinner and some dancing over at Off Side tonight?” Chase asks as he sits back down next to the pools we are in.

  I nod.

  “Yep, sounds good, Chase. What time did you have in mind? You know how we girls need time to prepare,” Sarah asks, batting her eyelids at him.

  “Well in that case, maybe you two should scoot off back to the resort now and do what you need to do, ‘cos we were planning on sitting our asses down at around six. There’s a game on the big screen tonight.”

  Sarah and I exchange a look and roll our eyes simultaneously. Riveting.

  ~ 8:00 p.m. ~

  It all happened so fast, one minute I was on the dance floor, and then some guy grabbed my ass. Next thing, Dominic had him in his clutches, shoving him backwards, veins bulging at his neck and temple. The look in Dom’s eyes was lethal. He had the stranger locked in a furious stare, and the guy’s shirt fisted in his hands. Palpable tension hung in the air.

  A heavily tattooed guy, who I assume is a friend of the man staring Dominic down, approaches from the direction of the bar.

  “Not a good idea, bro,” Dom warns in a low hiss, every muscle in his body taut and coiled. At the ready. He’s scaring me, he’s angrier than I’ve ever seen him, and I don’t know how far he’ll push this. Dominic is leaning right into the face of the guy who groped me. He’s shorter than Dom, but very stocky and broad. Head shaven.

  “Touch what’s mine again and we got a real problem here,” Dominic growls.

  As he reaches up to remove Dominic’s hand, his shirtsleeve rides up, exposing a tattoo.

  I gasp. Mel’s words used to vividly describe the guy who attacked her blare warning like an alarm in my head: “Shaven head, the unusual tattoo of the blackened feather.”

  Oh God, it’s him. This guy is Heath.

  Now I’m really afraid for Dominic.

  Despite his brute strength and size, I don’t want Dom to get hurt. The second guy has a bottle in his hand, and this could turn ugly any second now. Chase appears and heated words are exchanged. Chase comes up behind Dominic gripping him forcefully around the shoulders.

  Heath doesn’t move an inch, unblinking. He’s right up in Dominic’s face. His friend says something to him, which causes him to shrug, and step back slightly. The look in his eyes runs chills down my spine. When his friend gestures with a flick of his head to back down, Heath cuts his cold eyes back to me as they turn tail.

  “Until next time.” He winks at me, openly taunting Dom.

  “I find you within twenty metres of her, you wont be capable of standin’, you fuck!” Dominic yells at him.

  Heath gives Dominic a threatening stare as they leave.

  “Jesus, tone down the Van Damme, will ya, bro,” Chase says to Dom as he tightens the grip he has on his shoulders, preventing him from going after the two men. Threat over, I step up to Dominic, taking his face in my hands, forcing him to look away from the two retreating men, and down at me.

  “What are you doing, Dom, trying to get yourself cut up?”

  He’s breathing heavily and as he brings his hands up to grip my wrists. I see they’re shaking.

  “I would have killed that asshole with my bare hands if he’d laid another finger on you.”

  An icy chill runs the length of my spine. Dom unknowingly just made me a target for this scumbag should I ever cross paths with him again. While I appreciate his gallant chivalry, and the way his physical strength demonstrates our differences—usually making me feel protected and very feminine—tonight he’s taken defending my honour to a very dangerous level in getting mixed up with these thugs. It leaves me feeling very uneasy. What if we run into these guys again? And what if next time I am alone?

  I leave Dominic at the bar to calm down while I use the Ladies’. He had ordered a scotch on the rocks while I was still standing with him, knocking it back rapidly, and then ordered another.

  Approaching the bar again, I figure I’ve given Dominic sufficient time to calm down. He is sitting on a barstool, staring straight ahead, having just slammed back another drink. This kind of rapid-fire drinking is out of character for him. When he’s been out with me, he usually refrains from alcohol and drinks sodas instead. He flinches slightly as I slip my hand discreetly onto his thigh.

  So caught up in the game on the big screen, I didn’t think Travis and Andy had noticed the scene until I hear their raised voices. They are now standing just off the dance floor with Chase discussing what just transpired. Trav stands with his arms crossed, face like thunder.

  “Thank you, babe, for looking after me again tonight. You’ve officially become my own personal knight in shining armour,” I say, attempting to lighten Dominic’s mood.

  “Save it, Kate. I ain’t no knight, don’t call me one,” he says, looking almost pained, a shadow flashing across his handsome features.

  With that, he gets up abruptly and stalks from the room, leaving me standing at the bar in stunned silence. His reaction hurts. This isn’t the Dominic I’ve grown to care so much for. I don’t like this side to him. Travis immediately follows him outside.

  This cannot possibly bode well.

  I follow them, keeping a safe distance. Trav has already reached Dominic by the time I gain enough ground to overhear their conversation.

  “I’d have helped you kick the shit out of those fuckers in there. I get you were protecting Kate. But when you indicate that she’s off limits to anybody but you, I take offence.”

  “I’m in no mood for your shit, Travis.”

  “Tough. You’re gonna hear me out anyway. You can have any woman you want. You’ve had plenty, man. Yeah, I’ve heard the stories. You’ve only recently met the woman I’ve fucking loved for years. She’s not your property, mate. The two of you aren’t even an item, so what’s the deal, huh? You’ve tried keeping her away from me, but what makes you think your arrogant American ass is good enough for her? Fuck you, you hick!” He yells into Dominic’s face.

  Testosterone and rage are arcing between these two men, fuelled by alcohol. I go solid at the insult Travis just hurled at Dominic.

  In an instant
, Dominic has Trav pressed up against the wall behind them. Gripping Travis’s shirt, he is exercising way more self-control than I expect given how riled up he must still be over the altercation with Heath only minutes ago, and especially given the influence of more than just a few drinks. His bulging bicep, which is stretching his shirt sleeve so tight it looks like it’s about to rip apart, displays the tension he feels.

  “That’s a real revelation, Trav. Considerin’ that you’ve been busier with the ladies than a one-armed monkey with two peckers. Spoutin’ on about l-u-r-v-e...you wouldn’t fuckin’ know love if it bit you on your Kiwi ass. So no, you prick. Clue in. If you want to know the fuckin’ truth, I think she’s too good for the both of us.”

  His words are clipped, his nostrils flaring. The massive bulk of his frame is intimidating as he leans right into Travis’s space so that they’re barely an inch apart. I can see the blood coursing through the elevated veins in Dominic’s neck.

  The sting of his words to me a few minutes ago, dissipates immediately. He clearly doesn’t think he’s good enough for me. I’ll just have to prove to him that he is.

  Travis has just crossed the line. Dominic, a man I’ve known for less than a year, has been the one who’s held me together on more than one occasion. Other than some flirting, which I overreacted to, he’s been nothing but supportive, patient, and kind. He has never used my loss of Daniel as his tool to gain my affections. Never played the mind games I now realise Travis has been playing. Travis thinks he loves me. But, I can’t see that by his actions. He’s had a string of woman parading through Jimmy’s since pledging that he has feelings for me. I honestly don’t think Trav can do monogamy, relationships, or love for that matter.

  I have to act quickly. High time I put Travis is his place once and for all. Dominic deserves a demonstration of reciprocal support that he’s given to me over the past eight months.

  “That’s enough. Both of you.”

  Both their heads snap to the side at the sound of my voice as I step out of the shadows. I hold Dominic’s eyes as I silently try to communicate to him that I need to deal with Travis in my own way. He must read something in my expression, as he eases up the hold he has on Trav’s shirt.

  I exercise herculean effort in keeping my emotions at bay as I approach the men, my eyes now on Travis. I’d made it abundantly clear to him that there’d never be an “us”. He obviously hasn’t accepted this.

  “Go back inside, darlin’. The two of us here are just sortin’ a few things out.” I can hear the subtle slur in Dominic’s voice.

  “No, I’m not going anywhere. This stops now.”

  “Trav, I’ve counted you as one of my best friends for such a long time now. But, that is what we are. Friends. I know you miss…him. I know you miss Danny. And I know he’d not want us to be fighting, nor for you to be challenging another man for my affections. I will always love you as my friend, as I will love Dan eternally. But I’m…learning that I can slowly move forward. I’ve told you there will never be anything between us. I’m sorry if that reality is one that hurts.”

  Trav flinches upon hearing my words. I hate having to hurt him intentionally.

  “Fuck, nothing like brutal honesty, right, Kate?”

  “You’d better watch your mouth—” Dominic hisses at Trav, but I stop him mid sentence.

  “It’s okay, Dom. I’m not made of glass.”

  I walk up to Dominic, slipping one arm around his waist, my other hand splayed over his chest, Travis’s eyes following my hand. Dom tenses, unsure of my next move. I look up into his eyes, hoping to indicate that I’m okay with what I’m about to say next, before I turn back to face Travis.

  “Dominic and I are…together, Trav. I’m sorry if this upsets you, but it’s time you know.”

  Colour drains from Travis’s face, he swallows hard. “What? For how long?” he asks brokenly.

  “Does it really matter, Trav? Dominic makes me happy, I’d never have gotten through this past year without him. Please just accept this. Accept us,” I say through a massive lump in my throat.

  Dominic’s arm squeezes my waist at my reference to “us”.

  “Accept the two of you? Fuck, no. Never gonna happen. I tried being there for you too, Kate, so many times. You never let me get close enough though.”

  Trav clenches his jaw, the hurt in his voice makes fighting my own tears extremely hard. I reach out to him, but he recoils, holding his hands up.

  “Don’t. I don’t need your damn sympathy.”

  Then he is gone. Moving to go after him, Dominic grips my waist, holding me back.

  “Let him go, Kate. He needs to clear his head and think things through before he speaks to you again.”

  Why did finding happiness again, come at the expense of a friend I’d held so dear for so many years?

  Chapter 21

  THE WAY FORWARD

  ~ Kate, Saturday 5 November 2011. Just over a week later ~

  Dominic and I had left Christchurch with an undefined relationship, and returned from Hanmer Springs as a couple. This holiday had truly been a turning point for us. He continues to be a perfect gentleman, insistent that we take things slow. The intensity of his need for me, and mine for him, is never more evident in the blisteringly hot kisses we share though. There are no half measures with this man. When he kisses, he kisses thoroughly, erotically.

  His lips and tongue alone can reduce me to a quivering bundle, thrumming with uninhibited desire. We both know that making love would be a monumental step forward for me, one I’m not ready for yet. So being the gorgeous, selfless man that he is, exercising incredible self-control, he draws lines. Lines he valiantly struggles not to cross over. Lines that, in the throws of a kiss that has me turned inside out, I not only want to step over, but want to obliterate.

  I see the fire in his eyes: The desire that fights against the chivalry of his best intentions. He undresses me with his eyes, and plunders my mouth with deliciously aggressive thrusts and strokes of his tongue, leaving me feverish with desire. I’m frustrated with the knowledge that I am still too fragile. The emotional backlash of guilt that would bring me to my knees, if I allowed my body to rule my head in the heat-of-the-moment, where my body could demand more than my emotions and guilty conscience would be capable of handling the ramifications of.

  I am buoyed by Dominic’s silent strength. His bone-melting kisses wield the power to heal my wounds, the scorching heat in their delivery causing passion, and indefinable emotions to bloom and grow. Slowly, this is eclipsing the darkness in my soul, leaving in its wake, a mounting undercurrent of sexual hunger, and feelings for him I am too scared to confess.

  A night like tonight, as I lie back on our picnic blanket, staring up at the black canvas above me, dotted with twinkling stars, I consider that if the light of day never faded into the blackness of night, we’d never see the brilliance of the stars. Dominic came into my life at my darkest moment. The light of his presence has drawn me out of the shadows to where I am now.

  Dominic and I are at New Brighton beach, up on a dune, out of sight, silently watching pockets of families letting off fireworks on the sand below us.

  Staring up at his handsome profile, my hand grazes over his denim-covered thigh.

  “I can almost hear those cogs turnin’ in your head, sweetheart. Where did you slip away to?” he asks, shifting onto his side to face me. My heart gallops in my chest and my body warms at the intensity in his eyes as they stare into mine.

  My hand drifts across his shaven jaw, palming his cheek.

  “Nowhere. I just never imagined that I’d...have this kind of happiness in my life again.”

  “Your happiness is all that matters to me, darlin’.”

  Then he leans over me, placing one hand in the centre of my chest where my heart is racing a mile a minute. In anticipation of the kiss to come, my core throbs. Tracing his hand up over the rise of my breast, he threads our hands together on the blanket next to my head before crashing
his mouth to mine. My other hand grips his shirt, the drumming of his heart, just as urgent as mine.

  We are walking such a fine line of restraint now. Both strung tight and near to breaking point.

  I weave my hand through his hair as my body ignites. The blood pumping through my veins is a hot syrupy magma of desire.

  The ringing of Dominic’s mobile in his pocket breaks the intensity of the moment.

  “Shit,” he mumbles into my mouth, but makes no move to answer it.

  The call rings off, and then starts up again.

  With a frustrated sigh, he grapples for it, sitting back on his haunches to look at the screen. As soon as he does, I see a shift in his expression. He just stares at the illuminated screen as the phone continues to ring.

  “You going to answer that, Dom. Who is it?”

  “Nah, nothing important. It’s gone to voicemail anyway.”

  A flutter of anxiety ripples through me. I have the distinct impression he knows who the caller is, but doesn’t want to answer the call in front of me. Why?

  Chapter 22

  CRASH LANDINGS

  ~ Kate, 12 November 2011 ~

  The cemetery is empty as I arrive. Placing a small bouquet of freshly cut white carnations next to Danny’s headstone, I grip its cold surface as I start speaking.

  “I really don’t know how to tell you this, Dan.” Raw emotion causes my voice to hitch.

  “You were my first love, my f-first everything. The only thing I know for certain is that nobody will ever be able to replace you. You dwell in my heart, b-but I’m moving forward, as I know you would want me to do. I-I’ve tried so hard to fight it, Dan, I swear. God, I feel so torn, baby.”

  I have to get the words out. To admit them to myself, as much as to Daniel.

  “I’ve fallen in love, Danny.”

  At my words, a sob breaks free and my grip on his headstone tightens. It feels cathartic. The admission takes along with it the bitter poison of guilt. The release of tears washes my soul clean, leaving in place an acceptance that my heart has the capacity to love two men. The two chambers signifying the past, and the present.