Heart & Soul

by Sienna Grant

  She leans forward even further until her lips are at my ear, whispering. “You know Elliott, maybe you should forget about Cass. I wouldn’t turn you down.” Lifting my bottle to my lips I tip it back and take a long gulp. Sam’s watching every move as I lick my lips of the beer that’s coating them.

  “Samantha,” I whisper back, I trace the shell of her ear with the tip of my tongue, barely touching her then whisper back as she gasps, “you have customers.” She glances over her shoulder and sees a couple of waiting.

  “Fuck! I’ll be back.”

  “Don’t rush. Oh, and grab me another couple of bottles while you’re there.” Shaking my head as she walks away, I can’t believe the gall of that woman. She has no shame. She flirts with every decent looking man in here, as long as they’ve got a dick she’ll flirt. I’ve had enough of those type of women in my life over the last ten years, I definitely don’t need another one. There’s only one woman I want and right now I can’t see her being in my future either.

  Carson comes to stand next to me. “What you having?”

  “Two bottles of Bud mate please.”

  “Fuck that shit!” He turns to the top shelf and pours a double JD from the optic and places it down in front of me. “On the house.”

  “Cheers but why?”

  “Because you’re my best friend and have been for way too many years to count now. Elliott, I don’t want this to come between us. I don’t like what happened and me giving her a job here was self-explanatory, she’s my friend too. She had a hard time too, I wanted to help her.”

  Taking a deep breath, I look at my best friend, I can see the sincerity in his eyes, so I back off.

  My head sits in my hands. “I don’t get it, Carson. He’s nine years old, I’m confused to fuck. Whose kid, is he? She wasn’t pregnant when I left… Is he yours? I want the truth.”

  “I swear to you, he’s not mine. All I can say buddy, is talk to Cass, sort it out, this is between you two - no one else.”

  Samantha places my two bottles on the bar when she’s done with the others but leaves again with a flirty grin. The place has got even busier. I knock back the shot and grab a bottle, lifting it to my lips chasing the JD with beer.

  “Carson, set me up a tab, dude. I aim to get wankered”

  He nods but carries on serving the customers. He’s right we’ve been friends since we were five-years-old - girls didn’t come between us in the past when we were kids and I won’t let women come between us now we’re adults.

  An hour later I have a happy buzz going on, the DJ is playing some decent tunes, it’s eighties night. All the best power ballads came from the eighties.

  Carson stands with me every chance he gets until he has to serve some customers. Sam comes over a couple of times, but I ignore her glances and little touches of my arm, not giving her anything to hang around for. The door opens and in walks Cassidy.

  “Fuck.” My eyes eat her up dressed in black skin-tight jeans which hug her every curve and a strappy bright pink top, the outline of her tits visible from underneath. My dick instantly wakes up to her, I don’t even have to be fucking near the woman to wake that treacherous fucker up. I want to touch her, kiss her, runs my palms over every single inch of her. She looks around until our eyes meet, they widen in surprise at first but close in the next breath. He follows her, that little prick that came here last night for her. Dressed in trousers and a shirt, what the fuck, who comes here looking like that. Maybe that’s what she likes now, jumped up little fuckers who think they’re better because they have a brain and wear a suit. Well, it’s not going to stop having what’s mine eventually.

  The beer keeps coming until I’m sick of Budweiser and I go to the top shelf. The DJ changes pace from rock to pop and plays Heaven is a place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle - she used to love this song. We were both born in the late eighties, so our era was the nineties, but eighties music topped that year, so we listened to it all the time.

  She’s been dancing since she got here. He knows I’m here because every chance he gets he looks over at me, it’s every time he touches her, tries to get close to her. I tipped my bottle at him and smiled just to piss him off. I’ve watched her dance to Girls just wanna have fun by Cyndi Lauper, It’s Raining Men by The Weather Girls, and I Think We’re Alone Now by Tiffany. I swear she’s dancing like that just to rub it in my face, but still, I’m stood here not able to take my fucking eyes off her.

  Banging my glass down on the bar, I shout to Carson to pour me another. Being the friend, he is and knowing what’s going on right now, he obliges and puts another on the bar but not without a word of warning. “Take it easy, Ell.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m good.”

  Turning back and looking around the packed dance floor, I don’t see her, I see him whatever is name his - I don’t really give a fuck about him. He’s holding two drinks so maybe she’s gone to the toilet. My eyes carry on searching though, watching for her. A couple of minutes later I see her heading for the front door making sure she isn’t seen by him and slips out of the side door.

  Pulling open the front door, I walk around the side of the pub, I feel like a fucking stalker, watching her all night not able to tear my eyes away from her. Seeing her laugh with him, even talk to him crucifies me. I know she’s not in love with him, Cassidy has little tells - she doesn’t hang on his every word like she used to with me, she also pulls away from him when he kisses her for a minute too long. She’s my girl. Always was, always will be.

  Jogging to catch up with her and wrapping my hand around her bicep to stop her, I spin her to face me, a small squeal leaves her lips, her hand covering her chest. Pushing her to the wall, my hands either side of her head I cage her in, taking her both hands in my one. I move them above her head, a step closer to her hot, lithe body, pushing my knee between her legs to hold her in place.

  “Cassidy. Fuck! You’re driving me crazy. Do you know how much I want to fuck you right here?” She answers no with a shake of her head, her breathing heavy. “I think you do. You’ve been shaking that arse in front of me every chance you’ve had tonight.” My free hand makes its journey down her body, feeling, caressing. My nose nudges her ear as I bite down softly on the lobe making her mewl. My lips track across her cheek, placing light kisses until my lips are touching hers. Her soft gasps resonate through my body making my dick twitch even more. My hand travels further down her body until I reach her hip, I grip it to keep her in place while I grind against her.

  My lips kiss from the corner of her mouth then down her neck, sucking and nibbling as she expands her neck to give me more room as she breathes her agreement. My free hand moves back up again until her ample breast is in my palm, massaging as my thumb rubs across the stiff nub. Her body arches, pressing against me.

  “Elliott!” She gasps, “let my hands go?”

  Shaking my head. “No chance babe. I’ve wanted to have you like this for a long time now.”

  “Elliott, please.” I dip my head to capture her lips again as I free her hands, I’m a little surprised when it pushes into my hair pulling me closer. Her nails scraping against my scalp moving into my beard as I kiss her. Our tongues each fighting for dominance. She pulls away panting heavily looking me in the eyes as door bangs shut at the front, a can gets kicked across the floor and echoes in the quiet air. Cass jumps in fright. “Shit! I have to go.” My hand cups her chin holding her in place while I kiss her hard, giving her something to remember.

  “This isn’t over Cassidy. You’re my girl.” She breaks out of my hold and turns to walk away from me, flicking her hair around after her, before turning the corner she glances back at me, our gazes hold before she walks away from me again.

  My back hits the wall, my head against it as I look up into the dark sky, my eyes closing on a groan. That woman always had a way of getting under my skin and still knows how to by the looks of it. Not going back inside I make my way home, I can’t go back in there now. Aft
er making the fifteen-minute walk home I reach my Mums house and let myself in. My brother is with some girl on the couch, slapping the back of his head as I walk by to get to the kitchen.

  “Oi, dickhead. Take it to your room.” Lifting his hand above his head he raises his middle finger at me. I’ll take that as a no then! Grabbing a glass of water, I drink it down in one and head to bed.

  Lying in bed I try to forget about Cass, she’s not mine anymore. As much as I tell myself she is, that’s just me deluding myself, but it sure felt like she still wanted me tonight especially the way her nipples stiffened as I touched her. My dick hardens as I think about it, straining against its confines of my jeans. I undo the buttons with no time to waste giving me slight relief but not enough. Pushing down the waistband of my tight boxers, my dick springs free as my hand wraps around it, squeezing, wiping the bead of pre-come from the head with my thumb. My hand strokes up and down as I think about her mouth, her hot body as I rub my hands over it. Hearing her puff out my name as my lips connect with her neck, imagining it’s Cassidy’s hand wrapped around me and not my own. her soft squeezes and delicate touches making me harder, stroking faster - her hot gasps, prickle my skin, breaking out in goosebumps. My legs begin to stiffen as she pumps harder and harder. “Cass.” Calling out her name as my climax shoots all over my hand, gasping heavily as I try to open my heavy-laden eyes realising she’s not here with me. “Fuck!” Using soft strokes as I bring myself down from my high before cleaning myself up and going to sleep.

  Yep, I’m going to make sure she’s mine again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cassidy

  “Cameron! It’s time to get up!” Trying to get my son out of bed on a morning is a total nightmare. I usually shout him three times and if he still doesn’t get up I have to manually drag him out of bed, most of the time anyway. This morning I have no patience though.

  Pouring another cup of coffee - black, I prepare his breakfast. I didn’t sleep a wink last night, which doesn’t make for a happy Cassidy. I’m really not a morning person anyway but no sleep makes it a whole lot worse. Add in the events of last night and I’m sooo cranky.

  “CAM!” Aarggh!

  “I’m up!” He trudges into the kitchen sleepily still rubbing his eyes as he eats his porridge and drinks a glass of orange juice.

  “Why are you in a bad mood?”

  “I’m not. I’m just tired.”

  I bite into my toast while he eats his breakfast. I can’t get Elliott out of my head. He looked so hurt on Friday night. When he said he was leaving again, I felt empty, even though the only time we’ve spent together is to argue or bitch at one another. Fuck, I want him so badly. I would have let him fuck me against that wall on Saturday night in all honesty if that door hadn’t opened! Man, can he still kiss. He knows just how to get me, even after ten years apart.

  I can’t.

  I need to sort all this shit out. Even if all my old feelings for him came flooding back, but if the truth is to be known - they never left me.

  I have to tell him about Cam, I can’t leave him thinking he’s someone else’s, or have someone else tell him or he’ll never forgive me, and he’ll hate me even more.

  “I think we need to have a chat after school is that okay.”

  “Why?” He turns to me with a confused expression.

  “No reason, we just need to have a chat.”

  “Okay, does that mean no PlayStation?” He asks as he screws his nose up.

  “Yes. No PlayStation right away, I just want five minutes to talk.”

  “Okaaay.” He sighs. Standing from his chair he pushes it out and runs back up upstairs to get dressed.

  Half an hour later, I’m dropping Cam off at the school gates. On my way back home, I take a diversion and pull up outside the house I spent most of my teens at. Even before I was Elliott’s girlfriend, I was always around. I used to admire from afar always wishing he’d look at me like I looked at him, always hoping for a chance. We were all friends but Dale being the same age as me; I used to say I was there to see him and the music, but he knew better, he never held it against me.

  Sitting away from the house, I see what must be Elliott’s car because I know that’s not Dale’s.

  I probably shouldn’t be here... I’m playing with fire, but something has drawn me here. In a way I’m glad, but then I suppose we have to get ready for the showdown because it’s not going to be easy. I can’t believe Matt showed up, the one night I didn’t want him to - now I have to explain that car crash relationship too. We’re not even together really, he was just to fill the gap, but I’ve been trying to break it off for months, I’m not the kind to have casual relationships which is why he has only been introduced as a friend to Cam...

  Saturday night when he was out with me was my fault though. Matt didn’t want to go there. I’m usually working but I didn’t want to be anywhere else, I think I wanted to find out for myself if he’d left or not and of course he hadn’t, so I decided to make the most of my night off and danced.

  He looked gorgeous and smelled so good when he was pressed up against me on that wall. His dark jeans and his V-neck dark t-shirt with his scattered chest hair peeking from underneath. My mouth watered, and a tingling in my belly started when he caged me in with his thick forearms, the muscles tensing as he held me there. I’m so fucked

  Elliott stepped back off me when the front door to the pub banged. A knowing smirk pulled at his mouth, his eyes boring into me leaving me exposed made me shiver, he knows I can’t resist, as much as I keep trying. He turned and walked away again, my eyes closing until I heard that all familiar voice of Matt, shaking me from my hypnotic state. Elliott has always had a way with me and still has. Breathing deep and expelling the breath that’s threatening to stifle me, my fists ball and open before opening my eyes and seeing him in front of me waiting for an explanation with a raised eyebrow. I didn’t give him chance to say anything though, instead I went back inside, heading straight for the bar.

  He’s definitely not the kid that left town ten years ago... he had an impressive body then but nothing on the way he looks now.

  I spend the day cleaning the house. I’ve scrubbed everywhere to get rid of this agitation, but it’s not worked. My stomach is on edge, all I’ve done today is drink coffee and haven’t eaten anything since my toast this morning. It’s three pm now. Cam gets the bus back with his friends on an afternoon, but I make sure to drop him off in the morning to make sure he’s there on time. My nerves are shot now waiting for him to come back. My foot bounces on the floor as I drink more coffee - maybe I should stop it’s making me more anxious.

  I keep watching the clock, where is he? It’s now nearing four o’clock, the one day I ask him to come straight back...

  The door bangs shut five minutes later and in walks my son, shirt hanging out, trainers on - not the school shoes I sent him to school in.

  “Cameron, where are your shoes?”

  “In my bag. I left my trainers on after P.E.”

  He drops his bag by the door and slumps onto the couch. My stomach flips knowing I have to have this conversation with him now, but I have to do it, I need to pull up the big girl knickers and just tell him. I have to get it out of the way, not just for me but for Elliott and most of all Cam deserves to know his Dad.

  “Cam, I need to tell you something, sweetheart.”

  He gives me a vacant look, he must think I’m just overreacting to something.

  “Okay, before I start, I need you to know that I did it in your best interests, okay?”

  He nods while watching the telly. Grabbing the remote I switch it off.

  “What you do that for?”

  “Because, we need to talk!” I tell him exasperated.

  He sighs at me but gives me his full attention.

  “Right, remember a few years back when you asked if you had a Dad, well, obviously, you have a Dad, but - well I told you he left us. He didn’
t.”

  Cam snaps his head to me. “He left to go touring. He was in a band - a singer. I loved him, I didn’t want him to leave but he had to.”

  My eyes begin to sting as I feel the tears prickling. “When he left to tour, I didn’t know I was having you until after he left.”

  “So why didn’t you tell him about me after?”

  “I never got the chance. I didn’t want him to leave, but I didn’t want to be the one he threw his dream away for. He would never have forgiven me, Cam. It’s my fault you haven’t had your Dad around.”

  “Even for me, you didn’t want him around?”

  “It wasn’t that I didn’t want him around, I did. It’s complicated. I don’t expect you to really understand yet.”

  My knee is still bouncing up and down. I won’t lie to him anymore, I can’t, otherwise, he’ll find out and hate me even more.

  “Have you told him about me yet?”

  “No. I wanted to tell you first.”

  “I have a Dad and he’s here... living here?” I nod again. I put my arm around his shoulder, but he shrugs it off. He looks at me but doesn’t say anything, he gets up and storms out of the room, runs upstairs, the slam of his bedroom door echoes around the house.

  “SHIT! That went really well.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Elliott

  “What are you going to do Elliott?” Dale asks me as if I even know the answer to that.

  “I don’t want you to leave again, I’ve only just got my brother back.”

  “I’m not leaving, happy now? Even though every instinct I have is telling me to run.” My head shakes slowly with a sigh. “Why the fuck didn’t you ring me?!”

  “Would you have come back?” My silence is obviously enough. “I didn’t think so. Ell, you need to talk this through with her otherwise you’re never going to know?”