The Mermaid & The Crocodile (The Kill List Series Book One)

by Edee M. Fallon

  “What’s up? Everything okay?”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure.”

  “It’s about Eddie, yeah? I told you, Berty, Tony is—”

  “What do you know that you aren’t telling me?”

  “He hasn’t gone that far yet, but it’s only a matter of time. He’s got to initiate and we both know what that means. He hasn’t pulled that trigger yet, so to speak, but you and I both know it’s coming. You’ve got a decision to make. Either convince him to leave with you or walk away. Your options are limited and soon you won’t even have any.”

  “Goddamn it,” I said as I banged my hand on the wheel. Why hadn’t I tried to convince him to leave with me before? I knew the answer, even if I didn’t want to admit it. If he refused me, or my feelings, I didn’t think I’d survive it. My heart couldn’t handle any more rejection than it had already been dealt. “Those aren’t my only options and you know it.”

  “Damn it, Berty. I thought you’d changed your mind.”

  “I never said that. It’s just … I’ve got nothing on Eddie and I’d like to keep him out of this. Now Tony … that’s a different story. I just haven’t had the opportunity to make contact yet. Soon, I hope. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up before—”

  “Before what, Little Bird?”

  “Before … I change my mind.”

  Jenks sighed in relief, I suspected. “It’s okay if you do. No one is forcing your hand anymore. Berty, you can—”

  “I can’t talk about this right now. I’ve got to go,” I said as I hung up since they had pulled over two blocks ahead of me. What the hell were they doing here? Whatever it was, I knew in my gut that it couldn’t be good. I knew what Eddie did for a living, but I didn’t expect to find anyone he’d loaned money to be living in this kind of squalor with any chance to repay the kind of money they lent out. Eddie and his father weren’t in the nickel and dime kind of business. If you owed them, you owed them big. And if you were in this kind of neighborhood, you must be hiding out from the sharks that were trying to circle. Damn it, Eddie. What the hell have you gotten yourself into now?

  From the safety of my car, I watched as the trio got out and went inside a house. They hadn’t even checked the street. Their arrogance was going to get them into trouble one day. At least it was something I could use to my advantage. I waited a few minutes before I got out to see what I could see. The situation was eerily familiar and the thought made me even more determined to find out what was going on inside. The memory of that night all those years ago left me feeling as if what I was about to see would change the course of my life forever. I’d given Eddie the benefit of the doubt, not only because I refused to believe the opposite, but also because I needed to believe there was hope for people like us; that maybe we didn’t have to turn out the way we were expected to. Jenks had assured me that Eddie hadn’t made that leap just yet and I had to trust that his intell was right.

  Once I got out of my car, I made my way around to the trunk. When I found my bag of tricks that I always traveled with, I took out my binoculars and a weapon that I stuck in the waistband of my shorts. I was still dressed for the beach and stuck out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood. I wasn’t afraid of being messed with as much as I was afraid to be spotted because of the apparent difference between what I looked like compared to the locals. Liberty City still had a bad rep from all those years ago when crime had almost destroyed the neighborhood and its inhabitants. I wasn’t one to stereotype, but knowing where you don’t belong is just common sense.

  Across the street was a bodega that also operated as a small café, the kind of place you find the best treats. I found a seat near the window and ordered a coffee once the server approached the table. Once he had gone to make my order, I lifted the binoculars to try and catch a glimpse of the events transpiring across the street. The curtains were closed and I could only see half shadows through the thin fabric. Shit. I wasn’t going to be able to see anything from my current location. I had to get closer, even if it meant risking myself.

  I dropped some cash on the table and left before my coffee had been delivered. I didn’t need the caffeine anyway since I was already high on the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins. It had been a long time since I felt this way. I had almost forgotten how the chase and the game made my body come alive; every sense was intensified, almost nauseating due to adrenal overload. It was a rush that would exhaust me after the crash. I didn’t have time to worry about that now, though. I had to find out what the hell was going on in that house.

  I walked down the block, away from my car and the house, and crossed the street once I was far enough away as to not be seen by Eddie or the gang. Once across, I made my way back down the street towards the house. When I reached the neighbor’s stoop, I started rifling through my bag, pretending to look for something, straining to hear what was going on inside. I bent down, pretending to tie my shoe—a sandal—and furtively checked around me. The parked cars blocked my presence from the street. I looked ahead and over my shoulder and saw no one looking my way. Staying in a squatted position, I crab walked my way to the side of the house. I could hear muffled voices from inside, but could not make out what they were saying. With as much stealth as possible, I stood up and made my way closer to the window to try and see what was going on. Eddie, Gus and Willy were standing over a man that was gagged and hogtied, but Eddie was the one pointing a gun at the man’s head. Shit. This was the worst case scenario. I did not know what to do and was frozen with uncertainty.

  “Do it,” Willy chided him.

  Eddie was shaking slightly and his discomfort towards the situation he had found himself in was all over his face and apparent in his posture. He held the gun as if he carried the burdens of the world in his hands, which in his case was probably extremely accurate. I would have felt bad for him if I wasn’t busy praying that he wouldn’t do it. If Eddie killed that man then I would have to keep him on the list, and that was the last thing I wanted to do after all that had happened between us over the last few months. Eddie wasn’t cut out for this life. He was too good, too sweet and too kind. I knew in my heart that this was all Tony’s fault. That if it wasn’t for his evil influence over Eddie he would not be in this horrible situation.

  “Come on, Eddie,” Gus chimed in. “You’ve got to do this.”

  Eddie’s hands began shaking even more. Even if he took the shot, he would most likely miss since he wasn’t truly focused on his target.

  “Move,” Willy said as he pushed Eddie out of the way and aimed. Two shots rang out, each hitting the man in the back of the head. The silencers kept the sound of the shots from disturbing the relative peace of the neighborhood. Even after all I had seen and all I had done in my life, it was the first time I ever witnessed someone being killed. If my heart wasn’t about to beat itself out of my chest, my free flowing tears might have registered to my fractured mind. I did not want to believe what I had just witnessed. I could not believe that Eddie was moving beyond collection and into murderous territory. I knew that Eddie was the face of the operation, bringing the fear of his father and his far-reaching power with just his presence, while Willy and Gus were the real muscle behind the three-man operation. However, seeing it up close forced me to look beyond my delusions of Eddie’s innocence. He might not yet be a killer, but that line was going to be crossed and soon. It was too late for me to stop what was already in motion and picking up momentum. Eddie’s reluctance and ultimate inability to complete the task would not last much longer. It was time for me to think of a way to make him leave this all behind him, or continue with my father’s original plan and kill them all.

  Eddie, Willy and Gus exited the house and got back into their car. I ducked behind a garbage can on the side of the house and waited for them to pull away. I knew I had to get out of there, but I could not find the strength to stand, let alone work out a way to pull both of us out of the mess we were in. I got up after an unknown amount of time
and walked back to my car. A scream from the house had me turning around. Someone had either come home or out of hiding and found the body they had left on the floor. I had to get away. I got into my car and drove straight home.

  Eddie called me a little while later and I told him I was not feeling well. It really wasn’t much of an excuse since I had thrown up the minute I made it inside. I lay in bed, trying to sleep, but visions of what I had seen earlier that day kept replaying against my closed eyelids.

  Eddie showed up early the next day. I could immediately tell that something was troubling him. He hugged me fiercely once he was inside. I knew that what happened the day before was weighing heavily upon him and I wished there was something I could do or say to make his situation more bearable. As I tossed and turned the night before, I ran through the scenario of what it would be like if I came clean to Eddie and begged him to run away with me. Just like I’d told Jenks, Eddie would either want to know why or kill me. There was no way Eddie would turn his back on the only family he had left. The events of yesterday had also left me more determined to take down the scumbags that Eddie associated with.

  “I’ve got to go out of town for a few days,” Eddie finally said once he let me go.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Biloxi. I won’t be gone long.”

  “Why?”

  “I’ve got some business I’ve got to take care of.”

  “Why Biloxi?”

  “Dad is looking to expand his business. He needs me to head out that way to meet some people.”

  “Why can’t he go himself?”

  “Because it doesn’t work that way, not anymore at least.”

  “I see. How long will you be gone?”

  “A few days maybe. I leave tomorrow. I should be back on Friday.”

  “Okay,” I answered as I walked into the kitchen to pour myself some coffee. Biloxi was home to one of the most popular casino destinations in the South East. If the Valdez cartel was moving in, that would mean someone was moving out, or being forced out. I could only imagine what kind of blood would be shed over a hostile takeover like that. Eddie’s time as an innocent was winding down. I had to act soon or I’d lose him as he lost himself. The thought was heartbreaking when I knew it shouldn’t have been. I’d grown to care about him so deeply. I never thought I’d feel this way about anyone, especially not him. No matter how I was feeling towards Eddie, I knew I’d have to let him go. I couldn’t let anything bad happen to him, though. Not if I could help it. I could never live with myself if anything did, especially at my own hand.

  “I’ll miss you,” he said as he followed me into the kitchen.

  “I’ll miss you, too. Can I come with you?” I asked. I wanted to know how bad of a situation he was walking into. If he said yes, then it couldn’t be that terrible. If he said no, well then I’d know it was serious business.

  “Not this time,” he said, trying to let me down easily. “But I think a little time away with you sounds fantastic. Let’s talk about it more when I get back, okay? I’ve got to get home to pack. I’ll try to come by later if I have time.”

  He stared at me like there was something else he wanted to say, but couldn’t. I wondered what it could be, but then an unwelcome thought came to mind and I quickly dismissed it. I couldn’t do what I needed to do if Eddie decided to drop the L-bomb on me. I was not ready for such a big word. I’d never told anyone that I loved them, except my dead mother when I was all alone. I loved my father, but neither of us were emotion sharing people. What went unsaid was just understood between us and I was okay with that. I guess. It was all I had ever known. I knew that when or if I ever uttered those three little words to anyone that I would mean them and never let that person walk away without knowing how much I meant it or how hard it was for me to say. I didn’t trust anyone, myself included, and saying those words would more than likely be the best and worst day of my life.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said before he kissed me on the cheek and walked out of the house.

  I spent the next few days at the beach and my nights were spent reading and watching television. I hated idle hands and I couldn’t shake the anxiety that was growing inside of me. Eddie called each night before he went to bed, no matter how late the hour. He said that everything was going fine in Biloxi and if things went well that they’d expand even further to the west. I didn’t like the sound of that at all, but of course I couldn’t share my opinions on the matter. By the time Wednesday rolled around I was going out of my mind. I picked up my phone to check in with Jenks. I noticed what day it was and realized why I’d been so restless recently. I’d almost forgotten. Needing to fulfill an errand and an obligation, I left my house and headed to the store to pick up some flowers for the stop I’d need to make the next day.

  I awoke feeling the dread that always accompanied me on this day. Luckily, Eddie wasn’t there to share in my misery. Once I’d convinced myself that I had to follow through on my annual ritual, I got up, got dressed and headed to the one place I never wanted to visit, but couldn’t stand to be away from for more than three hundred and sixty-five days.

  My phone wouldn’t stop chirping or ringing, so I rolled down my window to throw it out. At the last second, I turned it off and tossed in into the passenger seat. Jenks wasn’t going to stop until he reached me. Maybe I’d play nice and call him back later. Maybe.

  Once I arrived at my destination, I got out with the flowers I’d purchased for this occasion. The flowers were usually my father’s responsibility, and now that he was gone it was another duty added to my list of to-do’s that he’d left in his absence. I didn’t know how I was going to get through this day alone.

  As I walked over the neatly trimmed grass, I breathed in courage from the other people milling about, here to do the same thing that I was. I stood in front of the grave for as long as I could. When I couldn’t stand any longer, I dropped to my knees as my body succumbed to the sobs I’d tried to hold in.

  God I missed her even though I never knew her. Her death was the catalyst for the life I now lived, for the life my father lived. I ran my fingers over the inscription, Catherine Pierce England 9/7/60 - 5/26/1992, then sent up a silent prayer to the mother I never knew.

  Mom, if you can hear me, I want you to know I miss you and I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I don’t know how I ended up here. I mean, I know you know how it happened, but I never thought it would be like this. I’m sorry if I disappointed you. It’s just been so hard for me being by myself. I’ve made all the wrong choices and now I don’t know what to do anymore. Please forgive me. I miss you. I love you.

  “You think they know in heaven when you’re thinking about them?” Jenks asked from behind me.

  “I’m not sure, but I hope not. That sounds more like hell to me,” I replied, not turning around to face him. I knew he’d find me eventually.

  “I thought I might find you here, Little Bird,” Jenks said as he approached me from behind.

  I’d been ignoring his calls and texts all day so his sudden appearance came as no surprise. I’d visited her on this day every year of my life, at first with my father and then by myself as the years passed and we’d grown apart. I even came when I was supposed to be sequestered in college. I’d wait in the shadows of the trees lining the cemetery until my father had left from his visit. I often wondered if he knew I was near, or if he’d been too wrapped up in his own grief to feel the weight of my presence. I looked up at my old hiding spot and saw a figure standing there. I blinked the tears from my eyes and the vision of my father disappeared.

  “Why are you here?” I asked Jenks through my tears.

  “I thought maybe you’d like some company today.”

  “I’m not really in the mood.”

  “You were ignoring my calls so I thought I’d check on you in person.”

  I stayed silent since I had no response.

  “I know this day is especially hard this year. You’re not alone though, Berty.
I know I can never replace them, but I swear I’ll always be here for you.”

  I wiped my tears with my forefingers and nodded my head. I kept my eyes trained on the flowers I’d set near the headstone and allowed myself to be comforted by his presence for a while. Jenks kneeled down beside me and took me into his arms. It was a simple gesture of compassion that I’d never shared with anyone before. His kindness overwhelmed my already delicate emotional state. I broke down in his arms as I mourned the loss of both of my parents. As I clung to Jenks for the strength I couldn’t find within myself, I realized that even though my father outlived my mother by over twenty years, I had lost him the same day that I’d lost her.

  After I cried all of my tears and pleaded for my mother’s forgiveness, I left the cemetery and Jenks behind me.

  I called Hugo once I was in the car. I needed yet another favor.

  “Little Bird, I’ve missed you. What do you need?”

  “Who said I needed anything?”

  He laughed before answering. “You know I love you, kid, but you wouldn’t be calling if you didn’t need something. Whatever it is, if I can swing it, it’s yours.”

  “You’re the best, Hugo,” I said and sighed. “And, yeah, I do need something. I need another car. Untraceable. You know how it works.”

  “Where do you want it?”

  I gave Hugo an address a few blocks from my house. It had to be far enough away that Eddie did not notice it, but close enough to reach on foot. Preparation was the key to proper execution—I laughed without humor at my pun.

  “How you holding up, Berty?”

  “I’m fine. As good as can be expected, I suppose. And you?”

  “Oh, you know me. I keep myself occupied. My life is anything but boring.” He paused and took a breath before he continued. “I miss him, Berty.”

  “Me too,” I said. It was true. As much as I resented my father, not having him around was so much worse than I ever could have imagined. I had so many questions that only he could answer and so many doubts that only he could lay to rest.