Sleep Keeper

by Wilcox, April

  “I just need some time to digest this,” I answered back.

  “Fair enough.”

  She accepted my excuse and began serving dinner as I munched on a saltine cracker to settle my stomach.

  Later that evening after Mom had left, I curled up in bed, my mind swimming with too many uncertainties. What would happen after the baby is born? Would I see Orion or our world again? Would Orion ever see his child? Would I ever hold my child and lover at the same time? Why did everything have to be so damn complicated all the time? The phone rang and startled me out of my dazed. I reached over the coffee table and grabbed the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi Alexis, its Maggie,” answered the high-pitched voice resonating from the receiver.

  “Oh, hi Mrs. Mc. – I mean, Maggie. How are you? Is everything okay?” I glanced over at the clock, realized it was fairly late for a social call.

  “It’s wonderful. How are you dear?” she asked in excitement.

  “Err, fine…”

  “I just wanted you to know how excited we are that you’re carrying our grandchild!” she shrieked.

  “What?” I answered out of reflex.

  “Frank and I have been so depressed since Mitchell passed. Knowing that part of him lives on…” she paused and swallowed hard, “just gives me a reason to live again,” she cried.

  Mom! Damn her!

  “I… I…” I stammered, having no idea how to respond.

  “I know you must be exhausted. I’m sorry to call so late. I was just so excited when your Mom called to give us the wonderful news. I had to call you,” her words flew out in high-pitched squeals.

  “It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep,” I muttered.

  “Well, you should go to bed and rest. Mitchell was a terribly fussy baby! You better get your sleep in now!” she giggled.

  “Oh… okay…” I shuttered.

  “Goodnight dear. And nighty-night little baby!”

  Oh God.

  “Goodnight Maggie,” I rushed out and hung up the phone before she said something else.

  Ahhhh!

  I wanted to call Mom and scold her for telling them, but I bit my lip and put down the phone. I knew she had good intentions. I loved her to pieces but she drove me crazy most of the time. I lay back in bed and tried to relax, pushing all the uncertainties from my mind. After a long while, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

  “Hi beautiful,” sang the most enchanting voice.

  I smelled the salty air and heard a seagull fly overhead. I opened my eyes to the crashing waves of the sea and the most breathtaking smile on earth, Orion. He was dressed only in tan shorts and sandals. His skin shimmered from the sun’s refection against the sandy beach. I felt a sense of peace and serenity and leaped into his lap. I pushed my lips against his and tasted his sweet flavor. He gave a soft moan and kissed me back.

  “I missed you,” I whispered.

  “In that case, you should miss me more often,” he replied.

  I laughed. I wondered if he would always be this charming or would our love slowly fade.

  “I have something for you,” he said and pulled out a piece of waded cloth from his shorts pocket.

  “A present?” I grinned.

  He held an earnest look as he slowly peeled back the cloth to reveal a silver ring. He held it up and presented it to me.

  The band was designed with intricate antique-style weavings that reminded me of something my grandmother’s would wear. It was a quarter of an inch wide inlaid with three round light bluish-green gems that looked about a third of a carat each. The gems were beautiful, reflecting rays of blue, green and white light across Orion’s chest.

  I gasped, unsure how to respond.

  “Its platinum; strong and resilient – like us,” he smirked. “The stones are grandidierite - a rare mineral found on an island off the southeastern coast of the fourth continent.”

  “It’s beautiful,” I gaped as I admired it.

  He took my right hand and slipped the ring on my third finger. It fit perfectly, not surprisingly.

  “It’s been in my family for several generations. I wanted you to have something to remember me by…” he paused.

  “Are you planning on going somewhere?”

  “No… but… with him still lurking out there…” he didn’t finish his thought. He didn’t need to.

  I sighed and dropped my shoulders. What would happen once the battle begins? How could I fight and protect my unborn baby at the same time?

  “I hate being away from you. I worry constantly about…” I stopped myself from saying his name.

  “Don’t worry about him. I’ll wait until after the baby is born before I track him again,” he stated.

  “But he could be planning something now.”

  “It’s not worth the risk to you and the baby. You’ll keep showing up wherever I am. How can I fight him and protect you two at the same time?” he asked.

  “And after the baby is born, how is that different? Are you going to risk leaving my child as an orphan in my world?”

  He cringed, “My child?” he repeated.

  “Our child, Orion, you know what I meant,” I clarified.

  “Yeah, I know exactly what you meant. Do you have any better ideas, Alexis? I’m all ears!” he attacked.

  The change of his tone disturbed me. “No…” I shifted away and looked out across the ocean.

  Orion sighed and stood up. He paced across the beach toward the water, his usual routine. I rose and followed closely behind. He turned abruptly and I rammed into him, my head slamming against his chest.

  “Owe,” I rubbed my forehead.

  He chucked in amusement, “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

  “You’re chest is hard,” I stated and rubbed my hand along his pecks. They were firm… rather nice… I slowed down my rubbing and began tracing my fingers along his sculpted muscles.

  He looked down at me with his mouth slightly parted. I leaned in closer and pressed my body against his, gazing into his hazel eyes. He threaded his fingers through mine and my body tingled everywhere. He leaned down and kissed me passionately. My heart raced in excitement. He smiled and led me back to his cabin.

  Chapter 15

  The weeks skated by. My stomach slowly expanded and my appetite increased dramatically. I tried to get a reasonable amount of exercise each day to offset some of my sweets cravings, but the lack of real sleep left me a zombie in this world.

  Christmas came and went uneventfully at home – a quiet dinner at mom’s and baby gifts. In Orion’s world, the town celebrated Christmas as The Celebration of Life with a parade in the daytime followed by a town feast and a spectacular light show at night. I made sure to take a nap that day, as to not miss the celebrations, which was fairly easy given how tired I had become. I read that my energy was supposed to pick up again around now, but I felt a whole new level of soreness and exhaustion. The price I paid to be with Orion.

  I barely passed my classes, which was surprising given my lack of motivation and diminishing attention span. During break, I yawned my way through work at the campus. Given my current situation, I decided that I needed to find more stable employment and landed a clerical job at a consulting firm. Not nearly a dream job, but I needed something to pay the bills since I probably will have to drop out of school once the baby comes.

  Mitchell’s mother called several times a week for pregnancy updates and to push her parenting advice on me. I glowered and grit my teeth painfully through each conversation. I knew she has the best intentions, but I felt ashamed every time I heard her voice and pictured Mitchell’s baleful stare from my deceit.

  Mom came by for her usual Friday night dinner. She had just cleared the plates and finished loading the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.

  “Mom, I’m perfectly capable of doing the dishes,” I told her.

  “I know honey, but you should take advantage of it while you can. Being a single mother will be a daunting t
ask,” she reminded me… again.

  She joined me on the couch and rubbed my stomach. I still disliked the invasion, but stopped flinching when people felt the urge to touch.

  “You’re getting bigger,” she stated proudly.

  “Eighteen weeks…”

  “Pretty soon you can find out the gender,” she prodded with wide blinking eyes.

  I laughed at her attempt at persuasion, “Sorry Mom, we’ve already decided to let it be a surprise.”

  “We?” she repeated softly.

  “Uh,”

  “Oh Alexis, I’m sorry. I know this must be hard on you, not having anyone to share this with. I hope you know that I’m here for you,” she patted my hand.

  “Wow, what a beautiful ring,” she pulled my hand closer for a look.

  It was still on me finger when I first awoke. I usually took it off when she came around. The less questions the better.

  “Oh, thanks… I picked it up at a gem show a few weeks ago,” I stammered, trying to avoid eye contact.

  “What kind of stones are those?” she ran her fingers across them.

  “I don’t know… some type of crystals I guess, nothing fancy,” I quickly answered and pulled my hand away.

  The doorbell rang.

  Who would come over at this hour?

  I looked over at Mom. She shrugged her shoulders and pouted her bottom lip in ignorance.

  I walked over to the door and peered out the peak-hole. The silhouette of two dark figures shifted restlessly near the door. I instantly regretted putting off replacing the burned out light bulb on the porch. I unlocked the door and cracked it open; my foot was nudged against the base - as if that would stop an intruder from busting their way in. Before the first beams light from the entryway could shine outside, I was bombarded with a whiff of a repugnant floral scent and a stentorian high-pitched cry.

  “Alexis! Oh my lord, you look just breathtaking! Look, Frank, isn’t she glowing?” Maggie chirped and pushed her way in with enough force that I lost my balance as the door shoved against my foot.

  “Yes, she’s always beautiful dear…” Frank echoed flatly.

  “Oh, honey you better be more careful with our little grandbaby in there!” she chortled as she grabbed my arm to steady my fall and smashed her hand against my stomach.

  “Oh…” I took a step back.

  “Come give Grandma a hug!” she sang with a portly smile as she took a step and pushed her bosoms against me.

  A wave of nausea rolled through my stomach at her overbearing perfume. I hugged her quickly, trying to keep my nose high in the air.

  “Maggie, Frank… what an unexpected surprise…” I tried to force a smile on my face. From the look on Frank’s face, it must have come across more like a growl.

  Maggie and Frank came inside and Maggie hurried to the living room couch. I pictured the old holiday visits that Mitchell and I spent together as kids taking turns at each other’s houses. At his house, his mom always made mugs of hot cocoa with those colorful mini marshmallows. I cracked a smile thinking how nice mug of hot cocoa would be about now … then suddenly I felt lonely without Mitchell there.

  “We were just in the neighborhood! So to speak!” Maggie beamed excitedly and glanced over at Frank, who had a goofy grin plastered on his face.

  “Oh, hi Martha,” greeted Maggie. I caught a quick shot of her turning her head and wrinkled her nose.

  “Good to see you again… when did you two get in town?” Mom asked politely, pretending not to notice.

  They sat down on the couch next to Mom and I sat on the loveseat, needing my space.

  “Just today, actually. We had been talking with a realtor for a few weeks now and she told us she found the perfect condo for us! And… it’s only a few units away! Isn’t that wonderful?!” Maggie beamed broadly.

  I shot a look of horror at Mom. Her mouth was hung open and her eyes were tightened, as if she was trying to decide on shock or anger. She probably read the same expression on my face, mixed with a little panic as well. I looked back at Maggie.

  “Uh, um, I don’t understand…” I stuttered.

  “Well, with Mitchell gone and you being a single Mom, I thought you could use the help… no offense to you Martha,” she gave a quick sneer to Mom then turned back toward me. “You and the baby can stay here. We can babysit while you are at work, help out around the house, and bring over dinner… we can be here for you every day! We want to be close to you and the baby… so… Frank is retiring and we are moving back.”

  “I… I… don’t… know… what to say…” I stammered and peered at Mom with wide pleading eyes.

  “Wow, Maggie, that sure is a hasty decision,” sputtered Mom. “You know, I am here for Alexis and… Frank, I thought you loved your job? And I thought Seattle was perfect for you two? I mean, you don’t have to sacrifice everything… now with the Internet and video chatting you can see the baby practically every day without having to move…” she sputtered.

  I wasn’t sure if she was doing that on my account or her own. I was grateful for her attempt, regardless of how ill fated it may be. Unfortunately, Maggie wasn’t falling for her speech and continued to glare at her with narrowed eyes.

  “Oh, nonsense,” she said. She threw her hands in the air, and shifted back toward me. “We have already decided. Plus, we made an offer today! We should hear by tomorrow if it was accepted!”

  My head instantly spun and my heart began to pound out of my chest. I was frozen, eyes unfocused with my mouth half open.

  “Alexis?” Maggie called.

  I couldn’t catch a breath… the room was closing in on me.

  “Alexis… honey… isn’t that great news?” Maggie cheered as her voice trailed off into an echo.

  I jumped to my feet, a little too quickly, and was instantly nauseas. I put my hand on my belly and closed my eyes just for a second.

  Mom and Maggie rose simultaneously. Frank hesitated then quickly stood up, unsure what was happening.

  “Alexis, what’s wrong?” Mom asked and put her hand on my shoulder.

  Maggie bolted to the other side of me and grabbed my arm. “Are you okay?”

  I opened my eyes and swiftly pulled away from both of them. Panic stricken, I felt the sudden urge to run.

  “I gotta get out of here…” I muttered as I slowly backed away.

  “Was it something I said?” Maggie asked with a dumbfounded expression across her painted face.

  “I just can’t do this anymore…” I murmured as I softly shook my head.

  “What can’t you do?” Mom asked.

  “This! This! This life! I can’t do it!” I shouted.

  “Oh my word, she’s suicidal!” Maggie squawked.

  Mom gasped.

  “No, I’m not suicidal! I can’t pretend to be living this life anymore!” I bawled.

  I turned toward Maggie and Frank. “The life I had… you had… with Mitchell… that life is gone! There is nothing here for you anymore! Do you understand?”

  Frank stood silent, his face contorted in confusion. Maggie’s eyes were filling with tears as she shook her head.

  “It’s not Mitchell’s baby!” I blurted out.

  Maggie yelped and grasped her mouth with her hands. Her eyes were glossed with pain that send a dagger into my heart. Frank grabbed her shoulders to steady her stance.

  “What…?” Mom hissed.

  “I’m sorry… I have to get out of here,” I ran toward the garage.

  “Alexis, wait!” Mom pled.

  I didn’t slow down as I grabbed my purse and burst into the garage. I jumped into my car and fumbled anxiously for the keys. My face burned with humiliation and shame. My trembling hands were making it hard to fish the keys out of my purse. Mom came into the garage and opened my door.

  “You shouldn’t drive when you’re upset. Move over, I’ll drive,” she directed.

  My mind was still spinning and tears blurred my vision. I obeyed and climbed into the passenger�
��s side. Mom started the car and we drove down the street in silence. By the time we reached the nearby park I was a complete mess. Mom pulled over in the parking lot and turned off the engine.

  “Mom, I’m so sorry,” I whimpered between sobs.

  “Shhh, calm down,” she softly spoke as she stroked my hair.

  I tried to stop crying but couldn’t.

  “Take deep breaths. In and out… in and out,” she continued.

  As annoying as it was, it was also soothing and I calmed down fairly quickly.

  “There. Now, tell me what’s going on?” she spoke with solace.

  “Everything is so confusing, Mom. I don’t know where to begin…”

  “How about the part with the baby not being Mitchell’s?”

  “I’m not 100% sure, but I don’t think it’s his… I mean I guess it could be… I don’t know…” I stammered and started to cry again.

  “Who else’s could it be?” she asked calmly.

  “It’s hard to explain…”

  “Try.”

  I stared at her with a chagrin expression, unsure what to say. Should I make up a guy at school - or tell her the truth? She wouldn’t have me locked up in the loony house while I was pregnant, would she? How far back do I begin?

  She waited patiently while I struggled to find the words. Eventually, exhaustion was the final determinant that led me to speak the truth. I was tired of feeling alone with my secret.

  “His name’s Orion. I met him last summer. It was instant chemistry Mom, like the stuff you read about in fairytales,” I explained.

  My panic washed away and warmth spread as I thought about Orion. The corner of her lips turned in a small grin. Her eyes were full of compassion, not at all judgmental… yet.

  “It was innocent at first. I was fully committed to Mitchell and wasn’t sure if Orion was even real,” I continued.

  Mom creased her brow but brushed off my comment.

  “I saw him every night… I didn’t have a choice. I mean I wanted to see him… I was ecstatic to see him, but I didn’t choose to see him.”

  “I don’t understand,” she interjected.