Season's Meetings

by Amy Dunne

  “That’s if she forgives me,” Catherine said. Butterflies swirled in her stomach.

  “Grovel, a lot. Admit you were an idiot and apologise profusely,” Beth said. She gave a painful prod in Catherine’s chest. “Then grovel some more.”

  Rubbing the spot where she’d been poked, Catherine gave a nod and left Katie and Beth to say their good-byes in private. As soon as Kimmy was in her harness they could get on their way.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Katie left a little after four in the morning. Her parting words wished Catherine good luck with the subtle underlying threat that she better look after Holly or else.

  Catherine wandered around her apartment in disbelief. How had she ended up living like this? The apartment was sparse, cold, and emotionless. No wonder she’d ended up depressed and on tablets. Even Kimmy wasn’t overly keen.

  “Come on,” Catherine said. She opened the crate door and scooped a rumpled Kimmy into her arms. “You can share the bed with me tonight.”

  She carried Kimmy into the bedroom and put her on top of the duvet, while she climbed beneath it. Kimmy crawled up the bed and snuggled in beside her. In a matter of minutes, she was asleep. Her snorting doggy snores filled the oppressive silence.

  Catherine had pretty much decided on what she was going to say to Holly. Nerves gripped her stomach in an iron fist. Adrenaline coursed through her veins in short, sharp bursts, priming her body for fight or flight. When she wasn’t wired, she felt exhausted. She wanted it over and done with. All this waiting around was unbearable. If it wasn’t for Katie suggesting midday as the earliest reasonable time to go over, Catherine would be there now.

  The unknown scared her. Rejection and heartbreak were real possibilities. But she hoped a future with Holly was also possible. “All in,” she whispered, her voice echoing off the bare, white walls. She hoped with every fibre of her being this gamble would pay off.

  *

  Catherine began to panic as she awaited the taxi’s arrival. Should she take a conciliatory gift? Flowers or chocolates, perhaps? That’s what they did on films when they needed to grovel. She didn’t want to turn up empty-handed and look like she didn’t care. But she also didn’t want to look like she was trying to bribe Holly’s affections and forgiveness.

  As a last resort, she phoned Beth, who pulled no punches in her reply. She was told not to take a gift on this occasion because she’d look like a creep. However, after they’d made up, she should buy Holly lots of gifts. Catherine thanked her and hung up as the taxi pulled up outside.

  With Kimmy snugly in the footwell, Catherine gave the driver the address of the bakery. It took less than twenty minutes for them to reach their destination, the purple sign familiar from Holly’s photos. She paid the driver and got out of the car; he drove off almost immediately.

  She crossed the road and peeked through the window. The bakery was larger than she’d imagined, spotless and spruce inside. The building next door was deserted and looked like it hadn’t been occupied for quite some time. Feeling watched, she looked up to the windows of the second floor, where Holly’s apartment was situated. She couldn’t see anyone, but the hairs on her body stood on end. With her heart bucking in her chest, she went in search of the front door and found it down an alley. An ancient-looking intercom protruded from the wall.

  As Kimmy sniffed around, Catherine summoned what little courage she had left and pressed the button. She didn’t hear anything and wasn’t sure if it was working. After no initial response, she pressed it again this time keeping her finger on it for a few seconds longer.

  Should she knock instead? What if Holly wasn’t in? The more she thought about it, the more likely it was for Holly not to be in. Who was at home on New Year’s Eve at lunch time?

  “Shit,” she said. Knocking on the dense wood with her knuckles produced a dull thudding. Still nothing. She tried to think up a plan of action. Why hadn’t she thought to ask the taxi to wait a couple of minutes? Should she call for a new one, or wait here for when Holly returned?

  “What do you want, Catherine?” Holly asked coldly, as her voice burst through the speaker.

  Catherine wet her lips and said, “Please may I talk to you?”

  After a long silence Holly said, “I’m busy.”

  “Holly, please, hear me out?” Catherine glanced at Kimmy. She sat with her head cocked to one side, looking at the door in confusion.

  Long moments of silence stretched on.

  “You get five minutes,” Holly said, finally.

  The door buzzed open and Catherine took solace from the fact Holly was letting her in and giving her the opportunity to talk at all. She carried Kimmy up the steep stairs, but halfway up she wriggled and squirmed for freedom.

  “Kimmy, stop,” Catherine said. She tried to keep her balance while simultaneously preventing Kimmy from falling. The excited whimpers made her look up. Holly waited at the top of the stairs, wearing a large blue fluffy dressing gown and green slippers.

  “Through here,” Holly said, holding the door open.

  Catherine managed to get over the threshold before Kimmy’s fight for freedom prevailed. In a flash, Kimmy scampered to Holly. The lead yanked from Catherine’s hand and trailed after Kimmy’s furry backside.

  “Hey, Kimmy,” Holly said. She knelt and unclipped the lead. Kimmy pranced and butt wriggled her way around Holly in circles. Her little body shook as if she couldn’t quite contain her excitement.

  Catherine struggled to swallow. Kimmy had missed Holly as much as she had. She watched Holly smiling as she tickled Kimmy’s belly and hoped the smile was a good sign.

  As if reading her mind, Holly looked up at Catherine, smile gone and gaze fierce. “Why are you here?” Holly asked.

  “I need to explain w-what happened the other n-night.”

  “I saw what happened.”

  “No, you really didn’t,” Catherine said. “It’s not what you t-think.”

  “Really? Because it looked like Amanda’s tongue was in your mouth,” Holly said angrily. She walked past Catherine into a different room.

  After a moment of deliberation, Catherine followed. “It was, but not because I wanted it there. She kissed me. Forcefully. And I didn’t kiss her back. I promise, Holly. One minute I was standing t-there, and then next she’d latched onto my mouth like a demented succubus.”

  They’d reached a spacious living room full of eclectic knickknacks, photo frames, ornaments, and two vases full of colourful tulips. A red sofa stretched along the back wall, and a large black rug spanned the floor. It was cosy.

  “Do you expect me to believe that?” Holly asked. She folded her arms and glared.

  “Yes,” Catherine said. She spread her hands in a placating gesture. “You saw Amanda. You heard the drivel coming out of her mouth. You can’t seriously b-believe I was interested in her?”

  “I don’t know you, Catherine. I thought I did, but I was wrong.”

  Stung by the words, Catherine took a step forward. “You do know me. You know me better than anyone, even better than I know myself. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

  “Apologising doesn’t change anything.”

  “I told Beth and Katie about us,” Catherine said. She blurted it out hoping it might make an impression.

  “What? Why the hell would you do that now?” Holly asked vehemently.

  Shit. That wasn’t the kind of reaction she’d hoped for. “I thought it’s what you wanted.”

  Holly threw her hands up. “I wanted it when we were together. We’re not together anymore. So all you’ve done is air our dirty laundry in public. Jeez. All of my family will know by now.”

  “Holly, p-plea—”

  “You should go,” Holly said. Her gaze dropped to the floor. “You’ve apologised and I accept it. There’s nothing more to say.”

  This was wrong. This wasn’t going how she’d planned. It was all slipping out of her grasp and she was helpless to stop it. Had things gone too far to e
ver be recovered? Was this the end?

  “I came all the way back here to make it up to you.”

  “I never asked you to.”

  “But I did anyway. Do you know how h-hard it was for me to come here? I’ve been scared shitless.”

  Holly looked up, her expression softening ever so slightly. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Catherine. You really hurt me. I can’t get over it because you turn up with Kimmy and say you’re sorry.”

  “So, my coming here m-means nothing to you? It’s an i-inconvenience?” Catherine asked, her frustration seeping out. When Holly didn’t respond she knew she’d lost. Turning away, she called for Kimmy, and started toward the door.

  “Why did you come here?” Holly asked quietly.

  “Because…” Catherine clenched her fists and revealed her very last card. “I love you.”

  Those three words hadn’t been included in Catherine’s rehearsed speech. They’d forced themselves from her, spontaneous and true. The admission revealed her greatest fear. She’d tried to bury it because the ramifications were huge. But she loved Holly. She felt it with every beat of her heart and breath she took. She slowly turned around.

  Holly’s eyes were wide with surprise.

  Catherine sensed this was her final chance to make Holly understand. She needed to reveal everything, strip herself bare to the point of absolute vulnerability and offer it all up to Holly. It was make or break time.

  “The reason I asked you to keep our relationship a secret wasn’t just because of Beth and Katie. I’d broken a promise I made to Beth years ago, but I’ll explain that later. The truth is, realising how I felt about you terrified me,” Catherine said. All of the pent-up emotions poured from her. “You turned my neat, depressed little w-world completely upside down and inside out. You made me feel alive. Because of you, I felt happy and actually started to like myself again. You made me question everything about my beliefs, life, dreams, and ambitions. More than anything, you made me question myself.”

  Holly stumbled back and managed to sit on the sofa. Her eyes followed Catherine intensely.

  “To go from being alone and unhappy to suddenly having the p-prospect of a future with you blew my mind.” Catherine shoved her hands in her pockets. “And now I know what being without you feels like. A future without you would be my own p-personal hell. Without you, it’s like there’s no sun. My world is cold and dark.” Catherine lifted her glasses slightly and wiped away tears. “I don’t know how you did it, but you fixed something inside of me that’s been broken for so long.”

  “Why are you doing this?” Holly whispered, as her own tears began to trickle.

  “I’m doing it to fight for us, like I should have done from the beginning.” Catherine knelt in front of Holly. “I love you, Holly. Whether you let me back in or turn me away, I love you. I love you.”

  Holly snorted a half sob and laugh. “You’ve already said it.”

  “I want to keep saying it for the rest of my life. If you’ll let me?”

  “Say it again.”

  “I love you,” Catherine said.

  “Again.”

  Catherine took hold of Holly’s hands. “I love you, Holly Daniels. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life. You complete me. You’re my reason for living. I love you.”

  “Good,” Holly said. She squeezed their hands together. “Because I love you, too.”

  *

  After the tears subsided and the tension faded away, Holly gave Catherine and Kimmy a tour. The apartment was huge. It spanned the length and width of both the bakery and the empty neighbouring shop. Outside at the back, there was a small garden complete with a grassy lawn and a few trees, which was impressive considering the building was in a commercial area.

  “It’s wonderful,” Catherine said. She graciously accepted the mug of coffee and sat on the sofa. “I can see why you fell in love with this place.”

  Holly smiled. “It’s home. I just hope a new lodger will feel the same way.”

  “You still want to find one then?” Catherine asked, trying to be casual.

  “It’s more a matter of need, as opposed to want.”

  “I might know someone.” Catherine took a sip from the mug.

  “Really?” Holly placed her mug down on the coffee table. “That’s great.”

  “Well, there are two of them actually.”

  Holly frowned. “There’s only one spare room. I don’t know how I’d feel about living with a couple. It sounds a bit weird.”

  Catherine fought back a smile. “They’re not a couple. Well, not in the traditional sense.”

  Holly’s expression changed to confusion. “Are you talking in riddles, or has all that crying messed up my brain?”

  “I was hoping maybe you’d consider letting Kimmy and me move in.”

  Holly’s eyebrows shot up. “You?” she asked in a gasp.

  Catherine forced a weak smile. “Yeah.” She was trying to play it cool, but inside she was dying a slow and painful death. She’d thought about it during the journey back from Scotland and all last night. She, Kimmy, and Holly were a family. Sure it was a big step suggesting moving in so quickly, but it made perfect sense and felt right. She hated her apartment, she wanted to be with Holly, and Holly needed a lodger.

  “Catherine, I’m sorry, I…” Holly shook her head. “It’s so soon.”

  “It is soon, I agree. But it makes total sense. You need a lodger, so why not have Kimmy and me? I can vouch for her.”

  “You have an apartment.”

  “It’s not suitable for Kimmy. Plus, there are so many unhappy memories haunting the place, I’m ready to move on.”

  Holly nibbled her bottom lip. She didn’t look convinced.

  “If it puts your mind at ease, I’ll keep the apartment for a while. If we give this a go and things go tits up, I can move back. There’s no pressure. Wouldn’t you rather have us here than some random stranger?”

  “Yes,” Holly said with a sigh. “But that’s not the point. I feel like you’re doing this to make things up to me.”

  “I’m doing this because I can’t bear to spend another night without you. We could’ve died in that car, but we didn’t. Life’s too short to put things off and be overly cautious. Sometimes you have to take risks.”

  “So much for not being spontaneous.” Holly’s eyes searched her face. “This is crazy.”

  “Yes.”

  “We’ve only known each other two weeks.”

  “Not even that long.”

  “People will say we’ve rushed into it without thinking.”

  “So?”

  Holly hesitated. “If we actually do this, we split everything right down the middle.”

  Catherine took hold of Holly’s hands. “If that makes you happy, fine. But I need you to know I’m not trying to steal your independence or buy your affection. I hope in the future you’ll let me share what’s mine with you, and vice versa. Isn’t that what a relationship is about?”

  Holly nodded with blushed cheeks. “It might take some getting used to, but I’ll try.”

  “It’s agreed then? Kimmy and I are moving in here with you?” Catherine asked, needing to hear the confirmation from Holly’s lips.

  “Yes.”

  “Great.” Catherine grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “Beth said not to give you a gift today because it would look like I was trying to bribe you. I don’t think returning a gift counts, though.” She unhooked the pendant from around her neck and offered it out to Holly.

  “On this occasion I agree with you,” Holly said. She turned so Catherine could put it on for her.

  “Are you busy tonight?”

  “Yes,” Holly said. She turned to face Catherine, her expression serious. “I’m going to a party.”

  “Oh, okay.” Catherine was disappointed, but she shouldn’t have presumed Holly would be free.

  “It’s a housewarming party. Right here, in this apartment, with my beautiful g
irlfriend and our dog.” Holly caressed Catherine’s face tenderly. “I’ll go get changed and then drive us to your place. We’ll pick up the essentials and grab some food supplies on the way back.”

  “Sounds good.” Catherine started to get up, but Holly held on to her arm.

  “This will work, won’t it?” Holly asked shyly, her vulnerability showing.

  “Yes,” Catherine said. She pulled Holly close and kissed her deeply. She made a silent promise she’d do everything in her power to make it work. She’d lost Holly once and would never let it happen again.

  This was for keeps.

  EPILOGUE

  Two years and six months later.

  Catherine entered and the tinkling of the overhead bell signalled her arrival. Cool air welcomed her in from the uncomfortable heat. A queue of people stood in line waiting to be served, so she squeezed past them and carried on into the adjoining room. Nearly all twenty tables in the tea room were filled with customers eating and drinking, the constant stream of chatter comforting. Gripping the handrail, she slowly climbed the four wooden steps, her swollen feet and ankles making the ascent more difficult. At the top she took a moment to look around. High, inbuilt bookcases filled every wall. Rows upon rows of books lined each shelf. Looking at them filled her with a sense of accomplishment.

  “What on earth are you doing in here?” Eve asked. She jumped up from behind the counter and pointed to the vacant chair. “Get yourself over here and sit down this minute.”

  “I’m fine,” Catherine said. She was too hot and uncomfortable for an argument. She wobbled over to the chair and sat anyway. Her feet were sore, her back was killing, and the weather was playing havoc with her internal thermostat.

  “What would Holly say if she knew you were gallivanting around in your condition?” Eve asked with a loud tut.

  Catherine sunk down into the plush seat and immediately felt better. “I’d hardly call walking down a flight of stairs and coming in here gallivanting.”

  “What’s the point of hiring me if you’re going to keep coming down here and bothering me all the time? You’re worse now than you were at the old office.”