Learning to Live

by R Cole

  I turn around and he’s not there. I see him come around to my door and open it for me. I’m speechless for a few seconds, then I finally take his offered hand and jump out of the Jeep. “Thanks for the ride, Jaxon.”

  “Believe me when I say the past fifteen minutes with you was the most fun I’ve had in a long time, if ever.” He continues to hold my hand until he gets me in front of the door so I swipe my card and press my code to enter.

  I glance up and he looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn’t. He turns on his heel and walks toward his truck. I’m disappointed for some stupid reason because deep down I wanted him to kiss me again, but I know I shouldn’t.

  When I’m about to turn around and go inside he calls my name. “Tru?” He’s about to open his door, but instead he stands there staring at me.

  “Yeah?” I ask with hesitancy because he sounds so serious all the sudden when moments ago we were laughing.

  “I just want you to know that whatever happens in life helps make us who we’re meant to be and leads us to people we’re meant to meet.” And with those words, he gets in his Jeep and pulls away.

  I walk to my room and grab my things for a shower. As I get in and the hot water runs down my body, I think over Jax’s words. I can’t deny this strong attraction or how I trust him so freely, but I’m not ready to give myself up again. Deep down, I don’t think he’ll be like Brad. But am I brave enough to take the chance and find out? As I scrub down to remove the stench of beer, cigarettes, and sweat, my hand rubs my stomach, remembering my son. I feel the scar from the emergency C-section they had to perform because of my punctured liver and think back.

  I felt so cold and I couldn’t stop shaking. I tried to move to warm up, but I couldn’t move any part of my body without the pain stopping me. I heard a beeping noise and someone talking, but I couldn’t make out the words. After a minute every word became clear.

  “How long do you think she’ll be out doctor? We really need to question her and see if she’ll press charges against that sick son of a bitch.” I listened, trying to recognize the foreign voice. It was too deep to be Tony’s or Brad’s.

  Brad! I instantly remembered what happened and opened my eyes. I tried to sit up and scream, but I had something in my throat. I struggled to get it out because I couldn’t breathe, and it felt like Brad’s hands were squeezing my throat again. I have to get away to save my baby. I felt hands grab my own and yank them away from my neck. They were telling me to calm down, but how could I be calm when Brad was strangling the life out of me. What is wrong with these people? Why won’t they help me?

  I felt like I was entering a fog as my limbs became heavy. I saw figures standing around me, and the harder I tried to make out who they were, the blurrier they became. I couldn’t move my hand to rub my stomach, so I looked and saw the area that used to be big and round is now flat. I wanted to scream and find out where Brian was, but my eyelids were too heavy, and I fell into darkness once again.

  I shake myself from the memories and realize I used all the hot water and am now freezing. I look at the clock and see it’s two in the morning. I’m thankful I was cut early tonight because of dance practice tomorrow. I hope I can still dance with a group like I used to. It’s been years and I’m nervous about messing up and stepping on someone’s toes. I jump in my bed and doze off into a fitful sleep while clutching Brian’s blanket.

  It’s Sunday morning and I can hear the waves crash along the shore outside my window. Jazz and Tru got in around three in the morning and are sleeping down the hall, but I have an urge to wake them just so I can see Tru in the early morning sun. Instead of waking them up myself, I get a great idea and head downstairs to see the birthday boy.

  I find him sitting on the beige leather sectional watching some children’s sing-along show while my mom makes breakfast in the kitchen.

  “Morning, birthday boy.” I sit beside him, propping my feet up on the coffee table and ruffling his blond hair. It needs to be cut soon; it’s almost past his ears.

  “Jax!” he squeals and jumps right in my lap. You would think it’s been a year since he last saw me instead of just a few weeks. “I’m getting my wicense today so I can dwive just wike you.” The kid still has trouble pronouncing his Ls and Rs, so I have to really listen to him to understand what he says sometimes.

  “I know, man. You’re really getting big. What kind of car do you want to drive?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. He starts jumping up and down on the couch all around me. Instinctively, I move my hands to cover my crotch just to be safe.

  “I want one just wike yaws. A big wed Jeep that I can take Mia out in.” My parents are close friends with Mia’s family. She’s seven years old, but Cohen has it bad for her. She was adopted from China a few years after we adopted McKenzie.“Well, big guy, that’ll be awesome, and Mia will really like it.” It’s time to get him to work his little brother magic. “Hey Co, you want to meet a really pretty lady?” He loves the ladies so I know his answer before he gives it, but it’s still funny to watch his face contort into a huge smile.

  “A pwetty wady. But where is she?” he asks, his blue eyes roaming the room at a fast pace. I can already tell this is a great idea.

  Trying not to laugh at his expression, I sit up straight and get a serious look on my face. You would think he’s a secret agent on a mission with the way he’s whispering. “Well, man, she’s upstairs in Jazz’s room asleep. I think it’s time for them to wake up, don’t you? We don’t want them to miss the party.” I don’t notice Mom listening until it’s too late. Now I’m about to get it.

  “Jaxon Michael Coleman! You better not wake those girls up. They didn’t get in until late and need their sleep.” It’s too late because Cohen is already running to his target, ready to work his magic.

  I just look at Mom while smiling and walk toward her to fix a cup of coffee.“Morning, Mom,” I say and kiss her cheek. I go to steal a piece of bacon, but she smacks my hand with a spoon. “Ow, woman!” It didn’t really hurt but I act like it did, and she laughs...until she hears Jazz scream.

  “Jaxon!” Jazz comes down with Cohen on her hip, scowling at me. “Are you crazy? It’s seven in the flippin’ morning, not even four hours since we went to sleep.” She puts Cohen down but he immediately runs back the way they just came from. He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.

  “He missed you, Jazz, and wanted to see you,” I say innocently and start toward the stairs with Jazz on my heels.“You see what you did? You let Casanova loose and now he’s going to bother Trudy.”

  “Who’s Trudy?” McKenzie rolls out of her room looking as beautiful as always. He ebony hair is in a pony tail, and her golden eyes are still sleepy. I wink at her and she smiles wide and gives an exaggerated wink in return.

  “She’s my new best friend, and Jax here sent Cohen to wake us up.” She shoves past me and runs up the stairs. I can hear Co laughing as we get closer to Jazz’s bedroom door.

  “Where did Cohen go?” I can hear Tru’s voice as she laughs. Man, I love her laugh.

  Jazz opens the door and steps inside, apologizing. “I’m so sorry, Tru.”

  I walk in and forget our audience because Tru is standing there with a beautiful smile on her face, sexy, sleepy eyes that are still glassy from just waking up, and long, dark, curly hair going every direction. She is so beautiful in her red pajama pants and black tank top that all I can do is watch her while she tickles Cohen causing them both to laugh.

  “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind cute little boys jumping on me early in the morning.” I’d love to jump on her early in the morning. She’s still laughing and tickling him but stops when she looks where I’m standing and immediately starts to fidget.

  I run my fingers through my hair, never taking my eyes off her. I like knowing I make her nervous because that means I affect her. “The birthday boy heard a pretty girl was upstairs, and he had to check out the goods,” I say and scratch the back of my neck to keep m
y hand from reaching out and grabbing her so I can give her a morning kiss.

  “You vewy pwetty, Twudy,” Cohen says, gazing at her in adoration. I’m sure I have a similar look on my face.

  “Thank you sweetheart. You’re not so bad yourself.” She bends down to kneel in front of him and whispers something in his ear. His face lights up and he takes off downstairs.

  “What was that about?” Jazz asks before I can and lies back down on her bed and snuggles with a pillow.

  “I just told him I have his birthday present and as soon as I get dressed, I’ll give it to him.” She got him a birthday present and she’s never met him before today? This girl is amazing.

  ”You really didn’t have to, you know? He has everything and wants for nothing, but thank you, Tru.” I watch her bite her lip and clear my throat. “So we building some sand castles today or what?”

  “God, yeah! I can’t wait to hit the beach for my tan. It’s really faded the few short weeks since school started.” Jazz grabs the blanket and pulls it over her head.

  “Sorry to interrupt but I want to meet my future daughter-in-law.” My eyes get huge and I look at Trudy who looks just as shocked.

  “W...what?” I ask clearing my throat.

  “Well it seems that Mia is old news, and Trudy is to marry your brother instead.” She laughs and I relax.

  “Aww, that’s sweet.” Trudy beams and then becomes panicked. She nervously tries to smooth down her hair. “Goodness, I look like death. I’m so sorry. I really wanted to make a better first impression.” She takes a deep breath to calm her nerves, and I can’t help my eyes from watching her chest rise with it and how the black shirt hugs her tits. “I’m Trudy Love. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Coleman, and thank you for letting me stay here this weekend.” Her hand shakes as she reaches out to shake my mom’s hand.

  “I’m Clara Coleman, but please call me Mom. It’s the only name I answer to these days.” Mom, being her loving self, takes Trudy’s hand and pushes it down then grabs her into a hug. That’s my mom though. She loves to hug.

  “I’m going to go get ready for the beach,” I say and head down the hall to take a breather. After a quick, cold shower I’m ready for some sun. I left my shirt off and just have on my swim shorts.

  When I come down I see Drew is sitting with David at the table talking about sports. For some reason my little brother is obsessed with the Crimson Tide while David and I are die-hard Gator fans. Their conversations always consist of bickering about Saturday’s games.“You coming to the beach with us until the party?” I ask my Drew as he finishes his breakfast.

  “I might meet you down there. I have to pick up this girl I’m seeing then we’ll head over.” He might be young but he’s full of confidence. I guess that’s something all of us Colemans have thanks to our encouraging parents.

  “So who is she?” David asks this with his mouth full. My mom walks in on the phone. He waves at her and says loudly, “Hey, Mom.”

  She comes over and gives him a kiss on his forehead then continues her conversation while she walks out onto the deck. Dad was on call last night, so he won’t be up until later. Holiday weekends are always crazy at any hospital.

  “Her name is Hastings and she’s a year ahead of me at school.” He pumps his fist with David’s, and I just shake my head. God, I hope he has more sense than David when it comes to girls.

  “That’s right. An older woman equals a more experienced woman.” David takes a gulp of his orange juice and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before he burps loudly.

  Mom suddenly walks back in. “David! I know I taught you better than that.” You can see her eyes light up with laughter even though her mouth is in a thin line.

  “Sorry, Mom.” He winks at her and she finally laughs before walking out of the room. “So how did you meet this older chick?” Returning his attention back to Drew, he relaxes in his chair.

  “We have a lot of the same friends and hang out together. We just hit it off. You know? Plus she has a really nice rack.” He emphasizes with his hands in front of his chest, and we all burst into laughter.

  After a minute we finally calm down enough to finish our conversation.“Cool, man. We’ll be hitting some waves if they look decent, but Trudy and Jazz will be on the sand if we’re not.” I look at my watch and decide to load up the boards. David joins me in the garage, and we head back inside once we’re done. I hear the girls coming down the stairs.

  Trudy looks amazing with her hair pulled up, and she’s wearing a white cover up over her swimsuit, hiding everything except the green straps behind her neck. Her flip flops look old and worn, but her toes are bright pink and freshly painted. She doesn’t have any makeup on, but she’s still beautiful with her glossy lips and tiny freckles on the bridge of her nose. Cohen runs and jumps in Trudy’s arms, and they both laugh. She looks so natural carrying a child on her hip, and I visualize her carrying our baby. What the hell? I shake that crazy thought away.

  “Twudy, I’m weady fow my pwesent now,” Cohen says, grinning at her.

  “I have to get it out of my purse, okay?” She sets him down and walks into the foyer. When she returns she pulls a small wrapped gift from behind her back and hands it to him.

  After he rips it open, he jumps up and down, smiling, and runs to my mom, who is standing beside me. Mommy, wook what Twudy gots me fow my buthday.”

  He hands it to Mom, and I look over at his gift. It’s the most perfect gift for him, and I’m amazed at her once again. It’s a Florida driver’s license with all his information and a recent picture of him. He has his very own driver’s license, which is exactly what he wanted.

  “Wow, that’s awesome, man. Now we just have to get you some wheels.” I turn and smile at Trudy, but she’s not paying any attention to me. Her eyes are glued to Cohen and hold a slight sadness, but she quickly looks up and sees me watching, so she clears her features.

  “Well, sweet man, we really need to go if we want to be back for your party,” Jazz says as she gives Mom, Cohen, and McKenzie a kiss goodbye. “You sure you don’t want to go, Kenzie?”

  “No thanks. Samantha’s coming over soon to stay the night. Mom says I have to finish cleaning my room before she gets here.” McKenzie has never been treated differently because she’s in a wheelchair, and she’s very independent.

  “Okay, girl. See you later.” Jazz leads Tru to her car and they lower the top as they pull away.

  “That was one awesome gift she bought for Co. What do you think?” David jumps in my Jeep and pulls on his aviators while I do the same.

  “Yeah, it was.” I clear my throat before we head toward the beach.

  The ocean air gives me a sense of peace and a dose of confidence, so I tell David how I feel.“I really like her, man, but I don’t want to freak her out and come on too strong. It’s hard to see her and not touch her though.”

  He just nods his head, and we drive the rest of the way in silence. He might give advice, but he knows me well enough to know I’ll just do what I want anyway. Fuck the consequences.

  As we park beside Jazz’s car, I look toward the water and see Tru standing at the edge with her face tilted up at the sky. She smiles as the water reaches her feet and the wind blows against her. I see the way her cover up molds to the front of her body and my dick instantly stirs from the view of her full breasts to her flat stomach and long, tanned legs.

  David interrupts my thoughts. “I can see you like her, man, but maybe you should just go for it. I know I would. Especially if it was turning me into a pussy,” he says with a laugh and grabs his board from the Jeep.

  I smile thinking the same thing and grab my board as well. I walk toward Jazz, who’s is already lying out. She lifts her glasses when I walk up, but after she sees it’s me, she goes back to baking and ignoring everything around her.

  “I’ll be right back,” I say. I stand my board in the sand and walk over to Tru, who’s still standing in the same position. I look at the sky and s
ee some clouds in the distance, but hopefully we’ll be done for the day before the rain comes. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask when I reach her side.

  She breathes in and says softly, “Yes.” Turning around, she looks up at me, and I know I could drown in her eyes and die happy. I watch as her face lights up, and that look alone warms me more than the sun. “I can’t believe I’m here.” She throws her arms out to encompass our surroundings. “It feels like it’s a dream. A year ago I’d never even imagined feeling the ocean breeze or standing with my feet in the water.”

  “Where were you a year ago?” I have to ask because I want—no need—to know all there is about her.

  “Atlanta. Not happy like I am now.” She’s still looking at me, and I want to believe she’s talking about more than standing with her feet in the blue ocean water. I want to believe she is talking about being next to me, but I don’t want to assume the wrong thing.

  I clear my throat, looking down quickly, and change the subject. Baby steps, I tell myself. “Tru, I need to tell you...that gift you had made for Cohen was perfect. He’s been talking about getting a license for a while, so I don’t think anything he receives today will top that. Can I ask you how you knew what to get him?”

  She looks embarrassed and stares down at her small hands that are clasped together in front of her. “Well, I really didn’t have any idea what to get him at first, until our talk the other night when you took me back to the dorm.” She looks up and gives me a small smile. The wind has blown her hair loose, and pieces fall in her face.

  “So, I had an idea that wouldn’t cost much and would be different. I talked to Jazz and she gave me a picture of him. Then I went to talk with your friend Mason one morning. Since he did an awesome job on Jazz’s fake ID, I knew he could do one for Cohen.” She shrugs her shoulder and says, “It’s not much, but I’m happy he likes it.”