Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

“Lovely. That would even be better.” Sonja considered Kim again with that indefinable look. Suddenly, she approached the sofa and leaned down over Kim. “It was wonderful,” she said softly. “Thank you.” She brushed a kiss onto Kim’s lips and straightened up. “Until Monday, then.”

  “‘Til Monday.” Kim could barely get the words out.

  Sonja turned around and left.

  ~*~*~*~

  On Sunday, after an extended back-and-forth with Jo and Jennifer, Kim allowed herself to be talked into a trip to the women’s café.

  “I’d say miniature golf is out for a while, the way you’ve been,” Jennifer said.

  “I’m sorry,” Kim replied. “I’ll work on my focus next time.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry.” Jennifer grinned. “When you lose, I win. I don’t object to that.”

  “But then there’s no challenge for you. That’s boring.”

  Jennifer grinned even more. “Jo is my challenge,” she looked lovingly into Jo’s eyes. “In every respect. That never gets boring.”

  “When are you two getting married?” Kim asked with a chuckle.

  “Oh . . . uh . . .” Jennifer glanced quickly at Jo.

  Kim followed her gaze and tilted her head with curiosity. “You’ve really talked about it?”

  “Um . . . no . . .”

  “Yes,” Jo contradicted her. “We have.”

  “Well, and . . .?” Kim was still looking inquisitive.

  “Yes, we have,” Jennifer admitted with a sigh. “We’ve talked about it.”

  “So – what are you waiting for?” Kim asked.

  Jo groaned. “Jenny can’t decide. At first, she wants to, but then –”

  “I . . .” Jennifer grimaced. “I . . . The topic is just plain too new to me. I never considered that –”

  “That one day, a woman might come along and shackle you in the bonds of holy matrimony?” Jo teased.

  Jennifer gave her a tender look. “Yes.”

  “You want to be shackled, but not chained up, I can understand that,” Kim said.

  “Exactly.” Jennifer appeared relieved. “I love Jo . . .” She turned to face Jo. “I love you, darling, but . . . maybe . . . it’s just too soon.”

  “That doesn’t matter.” Jo smiled lovingly at her. “There has to be an engagement first, after all.” She pulled a small box out of her pocket and held it under Jennifer’s nose.

  Jennifer stared at it, but didn’t touch it.

  “Don’t you want to open it?” Jo smiled.

  “Jo . . . love . . . that . . . that . . .” Jennifer’s face was becoming covered with tiny red spots.

  “Well, come on already,” Kim said. “I want to see what’s in there, too.”

  Jennifer reached cautiously for the box and opened it even more cautiously. A ray of light from somewhere in the café caused something inside to sparkle. She opened the little lid the rest of the way and peered inside.

  “Actually, it was a nose ring for a steer.” Jo grinned, “but I had it adapted to fit your finger.”

  Jennifer raised her head. “You would do something like that.” She leaned forward and kissed Jo, long and deep.

  Kim watched the two of them with a smile. “Can I see?” she asked after a while.

  “It’s nothing special,” Jo said with a shrug. “I’m not rich enough to afford anything that is really worthy of Jennifer.”

  “It’s wonderful.” Jennifer took the ring out of the box and slipped it onto her finger. It was a narrow gold ring set with small stones cut in heart shapes.

  “I know it’s a little bit kitschy . . .” Jo said, embarrassed.

  “Would you stop it?!” Jennifer boxed her on the side. “Even if it were from a gumball machine – it’s the intentions that matter.”

  “My intentions are the best . . . the very best.” Jo grinned. “My intention is to drag you to the altar.”

  “By the hair?” Kim laughed.

  “If I have to,” Jo countered. “No, of course not.” She wrapped an arm around Jennifer. “But this is the woman with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, even if we had to be on a deserted island.”

  “A deserted island would be nice,” Jennifer said softly, cuddling up to Jo.

  “Sure, if we didn’t have to earn a little money even to do that.” Jo sighed. “Just a couple million.”

  “Oh, we can do that, hon, no sweat.” Jennifer kissed Jo once again.

  “Then I’m going to have to ask Mrs. Kantner for a raise,” Jo said when Jennifer finally let go of her. She turned to Kim. “What do you think she’ll say?”

  Kim flinched. “Why are you asking me?”

  “Well, you know, with your close relationship . . .”

  “What close relationship are you talking about?” Kim crossed her arms.

  “About the one that demands the shortest possible route between the mini golf course and your front door,” Jo said. “We were a little startled when you left so quickly yesterday, but then Jenny thought –”

  “You weren’t supposed to say that!” Jennifer interrupted her.

  “You’ve known Kim longer than I have, and . . .” Jo smirked, “more intimately, which is why I think you were probably right.”

  “Jo, it’s none of our business. It’s no one’s concern but Kim’s.” Jennifer looked at Kim. “Unless, of course, she wants to tell us about it.”

  Kim rolled her eyes. “There’s nothing to tell.”

  “Nothing?” Jo gave her a skeptical look. “She wasn’t there when you got home? Or did you two meet up somewhere else? At her place?”

  “Jo!” Kim tore at her own hair.

  “Leave it,” Jennifer said. “She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

  Jo tried again, but Jennifer smacked her so hard on the side that Jo gasped. “All right then.”

  “So you really just went home to sleep yesterday, nothing else?” Jennifer asked.

  Kim hated to lie to Jennifer; she was her best friend, but she didn’t want to betray Sonja. “Of course.”

  “If she says that’s how it was, then that’s how it was,” Jennifer said to Jo. “And besides . . .” she held up her hand with the ring on it, “we have other things to discuss right now.”

  Jo smiled. “What, for instance?”

  “For instance, how we’re going to tell my parents that we’re getting married.”

  “Your . . . parents?” Jo stared at Jennifer.

  “Well, of course,” Jennifer said. “I want my family to be there for my wedding, don’t you want yours?”

  “Oh.” Jo stared at the tabletop. “I don’t think that’ll work.”

  “Why not?” Jennifer asked.

  “I . . .” Jo swallowed. “I can’t talk about it right now.”

  Jennifer looked at her thoughtfully. “It’s not just my parents,” she went on. “My siblings, too, my brother and my sister – and my cousins, aunts and uncles . . .”

  “My God, how large is your family?” Jo asked.

  “Very large. For the wedding, we’re at least going to need a ballroom.”

  Kim grinned at Jo’s look of horror. “Do you want to take back your marriage proposal?”

  Jo shook her head. “No, of course not.”

  “Forgive me,” Jennifer said. “Maybe we should’ve talked a little bit more about my family before now. But we haven’t known each other all that long . . .”

  “Yeah, maybe we should’ve talked a little more,” Jo replied, bewildered. Then she smiled. “But if you want a big wedding, then you’re going to have a big wedding, I promise.”

  Jennifer flung her arms around her neck. “You’re simply amazing!” She laughed. “I love you!”

  “I love you, too.” Jo hugged her tightly. “You should have everything you want.”

  “Actually, the parents of the bride are supposed to pay for the wedding,” Jennifer said with a grin. “The question is, which one of us is the bride?”

  “Will there be one wedding dress or
two?” Kim was now imagining what Jennifer and Jo would look like in dresses, rather than their usual slacks.

  “Now, me . . . no,” Jo said. “A dress? No way.”

  “Oh . . .” Jennifer leaned back and gazed into the air as though she were looking at a picture in front of her. “I might be able to imagine it. I really liked wearing dresses when I was a kid.”

  “You?” Kim asked.

  “Yes, for goodness sake, there are nice ones,” Jennifer defended herself. “Of course, I never had anything in pink.”

  “Well, thank God for that.” Kim chuckled.

  “But since a wedding dress is white, that really isn’t a problem,” Jennifer mused further. “I’m sure my mother will help me pick one out.”

  Jo gaped at her, just as she had at the first mention of parents.

  “My parents have known for a long time,” Jennifer said casually. “A wedding . . . well, they won’t have been expecting that, but I’ll bring ‘em around.”

  “I . . .” Jo swallowed. “I’m going to meet your parents?”

  “In advance, I hope. Things will be a little hectic at the actual wedding, I would assume. But my mother will manage it. She organizes big family celebrations all the time. Everybody always goes to her for that sort of thing.”

  “Uh . . . Jenny . . .” Jo appeared overwhelmed. “This is all a bit sudden for me.”

  “Yes, sure.” Jennifer looked at her tenderly. “You have to get used to it first, I can see that. But my family is . . . well, they’re crazy, but really, they’re all right.”

  “They truly are a little crazy, you’ll see,” Kim said. “But really nice.”

  “You know them?” Jo was getting more and more nervous.

  “Jennifer brought me along to one of those big family celebrations once.” Kim grinned. “It was very entertaining.”

  “But it wasn’t your wedding,” Jo said, shaken.

  “No, it wasn’t.” Kim looked at her. “You need to calm down a little, Jo. This really seems to have knocked you off your feet.”

  “I . . . it’s a little strange to me,” Jo said.

  “You don’t have a large family?” Kim asked.

  “No, I –” Jo broke off. “No, not so big.”

  “You’ll get used to it. And besides, you won’t see them every day,” Jennifer said. “They live half a day’s drive away.”

  “Hm.” Jo looked relieved.

  Kim looked at Jennifer and arched her eyebrows. Jennifer shrugged. After that silent dialogue, she turned back to Jo. “We’re not that far along today,” she said reassuringly. “And besides, I don’t even know yet whether I want to marry you at all.”

  “You don’t?” Jo seemed confused.

  Jennifer pursed her lips. “Then I’d have to give the ring back, wouldn’t I?” She looked at Kim.

  Kim nodded earnestly. “Yes, you would.”

  “No.” Jo shook her head. “You can keep it, no matter what you do.”

  “Jo . . . sweetheart . . .” Jennifer leaned over to Jo and looked deep into her eyes. “I’m definitely going to keep it, just as long as I keep you. And I’m never letting you go.” She stroked Jo’s cheek tenderly. “Never.”

  Jo looked like she was about to turn bright red, but she just gazed at the floor, embarrassed. “Really?”

  “Yes, really,” Jennifer whispered and kissed her on the nose. “For ever and ever, that’s how it goes, isn’t it?”

  Kim smiled. Her heart warmed to see the two of them. Then the smiled vanished from her face. I’ll never have this with Sonja, she thought. There’s not even a chance.

  “Aren’t you happy for us?” Jennifer interrupted her thoughts.

  “Yes, of course.” Kim’s head jerked up. “I’m very happy for you.”

  “You don’t look it.” Jennifer considered her observantly. “You look more like Jo just stole me away from you.” She grinned. “Or maybe I stole Jo from you?”

  Kim shook her head. “You know that’s not true.”

  “Well, who knows?” Jennifer tilted her head coquettishly. “Maybe our night way back when left a more lasting impression on you than I thought.”

  “Not to mention our experience in the Darkroom,” Jo added with a grin.

  Kim raised a hand. “You can forget that right now. I’m very happy for the two of you, and I’m looking forward to your wedding – I hope I’ll be invited.” Now she was grinning, too. “I can still taste your mother’s wonderful cake.” She licked her lips appreciatively.

  “Yeah, no comparison to what you show up with from time to time.”

  “I just can’t refuse Margit, or Rolf, either,” Kim apologized with a grimace.

  “How’s your boss doing, then?” Jo asked with interest. “Is he okay?”

  “He’s moving to a rehab facility next week,” Kim replied. “That’s the last I heard.”

  “That means you’re still the department head,” Jo said.

  “Only for the interim,” Kim corrected. “Officially, I’m just a team leader.”

  “But unofficially, everybody knows you run the show,” Jo said. “And not too badly, either.” The corners of her mouth twitched impishly. “What does Mrs. Kantner have to say about the fact that you’re practically her equal now?”

  “Mrs. Kantner . . .” Kim replied with emphasis, “says nothing at all about that. Why should she?”

  “Well, now, I thought . . . just conversationally . . . when you see each other . . . to the extent you talk to each other . . .” Jo needled her.

  “You just can’t let it be, can you?” Kim said.

  “Aww, allow me this one pleasure,” Jo answered brightly. “After all, I haven’t had much fun with my boss so far . . . compared to you.”

  “I really did enjoy collaborating with her, that is true.”

  “And it’s also true that that’s not what I meant,” Jo said. “It’s unfair for you to leave me high and dry like this – when I should be sitting right at the wellspring because of you.”

  “At the wellspring of what?” Kim asked.

  “Of information about Sexy Sonja!” Jo cried out. “Good grief, that woman is pure dynamite! Even though she’s not my type, I can feel it. She must be amazing in – Ow!”

  Jennifer had apparently poked Jo in a sensitive spot again. “Sorry, love, but we’ve been there already.”

  “Another hard smack like that, and I’m going to have to call in sick,” Jo panted. “I thought my S&M days were over.”

  “You used to be into S&M?” Jennifer’s eyes were opened wide and innocently.

  “Yeah, sure.” Jo made a face again, but this time not of pain, rather amusement. “Johanna Mayrhofer’s Dominatrix Studio. Ever heard of it?” She grinned from ear to ear.

  “With a name like that, people must’ve been beating down the door,” Kim teased. “It’s so much more alluring than Lady Chantal or something like that.”

  “Yeah, I thought so, too. That’s why I had to run away and come here. I couldn’t handle the onslaught anymore.” Jo tried for a serious expression, but couldn’t pull it off.

  “Ah, that’s why you have all those whips and handcuffs in your closet,” Jennifer said. “I did wonder about that.”

  “Yeah.” Jo shrugged. “When Mrs. Kantner throws me out, I’ll still have my whips, and I can open up my business again. You never know.” She turned to Kim. “Or I’ll sell them to her. Does she like that kind of thing?” She jumped up before Jennifer could finally break a rib.

  “Ask her yourself.” Kim sighed. She gave up. “I’m sure she’d be glad to tell you all about it.”

  “Uh-uh . . .” Jo waved a hand vaguely. “I’d rather not risk it. Then the dynamite might explode. But you know what?” She snapped her fingers. “She could open a studio with the name Lady Dynamite.”

  Jennifer sighed deeply. “Would you rather marry her instead of me? You seem to be very preoccupied with her.”

  “I see her every day, and I wonder –” Jo glanced at Jennifer bef
ore sitting back down next to her. “I wonder what’s up with her.”

  Kim frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “May I talk about this now, or am I going to get smacked again?” Jo braced herself.

  “Just try not to grill Kim about . . . you know what,” Jennifer said. “Then I won’t hit you.”

  “Thank you very much, Mistress,” Jo replied with a grin. A moment later her face took on a thoughtful cast. “I’ve told you before, she’s always completely done for after her husband calls – and intolerable. I might be, too, if I had to go through that kind of hassle every day. But anyway . . . well . . . I can’t always keep from hearing their phone conversations.”

  “You eavesdrop on them?” Kim was stunned.

  “I . . . No. Normally, she always shuts the door, but one time recently, she didn’t close it all the way, she just left it ajar, and although she was trying to talk quietly, I couldn’t help . . . I had to hear it.”

  Kim sat quietly, without responding.

  “You don’t want to know? You’re not interested?”

  “Kim . . . honestly . . . if you want Jo to stop, say so,” Jennifer added. “I could understand that.”

  Kim ran a hand through her hair. “Go ahead,” she said softly. “Then I can finally get it over with.”

  Jennifer arched her brows, and Jo told her story. “First, she said to him, ‘Never call me at work again’, but it sounds like he doesn’t seem to think much of that. Apparently, he really chewed her out over the phone, and then she said, in this voice – I can’t even describe it – like ice that cuts: ‘There are limits, Uwe . . . to which you agreed. Cross them again, and I’ll say what happened. I won’t care anymore.’”

  Kim didn’t feel particularly enlightened. To the contrary, the puzzle of Sonja seemed to have grown even more complex.

  “Do you have any idea what that means?” Jennifer asked.

  Kim shook her head thoughtfully. “No. None. Like I said, the whole time I was working for her, her husband never called. This is all strange to me.”

  “And she never said anything to you . . . I mean, now?” Jennifer asked. “You still talk to each other. Not even you try to keep that a secret.”

  “Yes, that’s not a secret,” Kim said absently.

  She was recalling the night Sonja had cried upon her breast. Back then, she had assumed Klaus was the cause. But that no longer seemed very likely. Her husband seemed to be the root of all evil. But if that were the case – why didn’t she divorce him?