Forbidden Passion

by Ruth Gogoll

  “Kantner.”

  “The name doesn’t tell me anything.” Sandra paused to think for a moment. “Could be that her mother lives in my father’s neighborhood,” she went on. “He still lives in the same house I grew up in.”

  “Then you would’ve had to meet as children,” Kim said.

  “That’s true, too. If my father had had an affair with a neighbor who still lives there, then there would’ve been signs. Especially if the children looked so much alike.”

  “Some people are very discreet.” Kim made a face. Especially Sonja, she thought.

  “We won’t get anywhere like this. I’ll ask my father the embarrassing question.” Sandra hesitated. “Ask Sonja some time where she lived as a child.”

  Kim let out a skeptical sound. “I don’t know if she’d answer that sort of question from me.”

  “You can try.”

  In the background, a tinny announcement came on, trying to make the weekly specials sound appetizing to the customers.

  “Oh no,” Sandra said. “Somebody put on the wrong announcement – that one was from last week, and it’s an expired offer. I have to go and get back to taking care of my supermarket.” She laughed and hung up.

  Kim propped her chin in her hand. Suddenly, her eyes opened wide. Her mouse found and opened a program on her computer screen. Her memory had not deceived her. Why hadn’t this occurred to her long ago? Sonja had even mentioned it. But in all the excitement . . .

  “Kim, do you have a second?” Rolf stood in the doorway. “We need to talk about a few more things I forgot about earlier.”

  “Sure.” Kim stood up. “What else is there?”

  “I’ll show you in my office. Come with me.”

  Kim followed him, and in Rolf’s gentle presence, forgot about her personal worries for an hour.

  ~*~*~*~

  Jo looked like she’d just swallowed a frog. “Ms. K-K-Kantner . . .” she stammered.

  Kim stifled a smile, but then couldn’t hold back her grin anymore. “I don’t believe Sandra answers to that name.” She gestured toward a chair and looked at Sandra. “Would you like a seat?” With another gesture, she made the introduction. “This is my best friend Jennifer, and the character with the frog face is Jo, her fiancée. The two of them are about to get married.”

  “Pleased to meet you.” Sandra sat down.

  Jo was still gaping at her.

  “Close your mouth,” Kim said. “This isn’t Sonja.”

  “But . . . but . . .” Jo could barely get a word out.

  “I know you see her every day, but obviously you don’t look too closely. Then let me make the official introduction: Sandra Kruschewski.” She rested a hand on Sandra’s shoulder. “Not related by blood or by marriage to Sonja Kantner.”

  “That can’t be.” Jo gasped, dumbfounded.

  “But it is.” Sandra smiled. “Kim thought I was Sonja, too, but I’m not.”

  “But you look like Sonja?” Jennifer considered Sandra with interest.

  “Seems that way,” Sandra said. “You don’t know her?”

  “No, I’m the only one here who doesn’t know her. But now at least I know what she looks like.” She turned to Jo with a frown. “I’m not so sure I’m okay with you keeping this job, darling.”

  “She’s not my type,” Jo replied a bit testily, “I’ve told you that often enough.”

  “Too bad.” The corners of Sandra’s mouth twitched with amusement. “Then I must not be, either.”

  Jennifer gave her a sharp look. “She’s engaged.” She placed her hand on Jo’s arm.

  Sandra laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not getting involved. It was just a comment.”

  “How . . . how . . .?” Jo stammered again. She couldn’t tear her gaze away from Sandra.

  “Kim found me on the street, just coincidentally,” Sandra explained. “I’ve been living on Michelbergring for the last few weeks.”

  Jo now stared at Kim. “Well, that must’ve been a surprise.”

  “That it was.” Kim nodded. “At first, I thought she was Sonja. To be honest, I thought so for a pretty long time, and I even tracked her down to her apartment.”

  “I almost called the police,” Sandra added, laughing. “But then Kim introduced me to Sonja, and I saw that she really does look very similar to me.”

  “Similar?” Jo let her gaze wander back and forth between Sandra and Kim in disbelief. “That’s quite an understatement. You could be twins.”

  “Yes, Kim said that, too.” Sandra shook her head. “But we aren’t. That’d be too improbable, anyway.”

  “You sure are mean.” Jennifer shot a chastising look at Kim. “You kept something like this from me?”

  Kim shrugged. “I was going to tell you, but then Sandra said she’d like to come along to the women’s café, and so I thought, a picture is worth a thousand words.” She grinned.

  “I don’t know Sonja in the slightest,” Jennifer said. “So I’m no judge. But you could have called me. This isn’t exactly an everyday story.”

  “Yes, that is true,” Kim replied guiltily, “but I have so much going on right now. The whole transition with Rolf, there’s so much that still has to be taken care of . . .”

  “And Helmke’s application to be your successor,” Jo added with a chuckle.

  “Yes, that, too.” Kim laughed. “Although that was more of a one-off. She withdrew her application.”

  “You don’t say. Why would she do that?” Jo chuckled some more.

  “Sex change!” Jennifer laughed out loud. “Only you could come up with something like that!”

  “It was a stopgap,” Kim said, embarrassed.

  “Sex change?” Sandra looked uncertainly around the group.

  “You didn’t tell her yet?” Jo asked.

  “No, we haven’t spoken in a while,” Kim said. “And it wasn’t that important, anyway.”

  “Perhaps not important. But funny.” Jo’s lips curled into a broad smile. “Especially to anyone who knows Helmke.”

  “Helmke is a coworker at the company,” Kim explained to Sandra, “who’s rather . . . well, let’s say odd. She spins webs of intrigue, and she always knows the latest on everything. Since I’m about to take over the whole department on Michelbergring because my boss is retiring, I need a replacement for my position, and she applied for the job. During which, she used somewhat,” she cleared her throat, “unusual methods.”

  “And what does that have to do with a sex change?” Sandra asked. “Is she –”

  “Oh, no, no.” Jo laughed. “No, she’s clearly a woman and has never been anything else. But Kim told her she had a sex change in her past, and at that, Helmke ran away in horror.”

  “But that’s not nice. A sex change is a serious thing, after all.” Sandra winked.

  “Yeah,” Kim said. “I’m going to have to apologize to all transgender people for using that particular escape, but I was truly desperate. Helmke was getting so much on my nerves –”

  “You poor thing.” Jo gave Kim a sympathetic look. “You really don’t have it easy at the moment.”

  Kim sighed and said nothing to that.

  “So, you haven’t been in the city long?” Jennifer asked Sandra. “I’ve never seen you here before.”

  “The supermarket chain I work for just recently transferred me here,” Sandra confirmed, nodding. “The supermarket here wasn’t running well, and . . . well . . . I’m supposed to build up a couple of additional shops in the area, too.”

  “She doesn’t just resemble Sonja on the outside,” Jo said.

  “In a certain way . . .” Kim agreed. “Yes.” At the same time, she could sense a warm-heartedness exuding from Sandra, who sat next to her, that was foreign to Sonja. Sonja always seemed a little reserved; Sandra was open and friendly.

  “I hope you two don’t mind that I came along?” Sandra inquired with a glance at Jennifer and Jo.

  “Oh, no.” Jo looked at her. “Now that I’m getting used to th
e sight of you . . .”

  “Kim told me that she wanted to go to the women’s café, and since I’m new in town, I thought I’d check it out.”

  “No problem.” Jennifer waggled a hand. “Sooner or later, you probably would’ve come here anyway.”

  “I don’t know,” Sandra said. “If Kim hadn’t mentioned it, I wouldn’t have known that this café even exists. It’s pretty out-of-the-way.”

  Jennifer opened her mouth to say something, but before a sound came out, a blonde rushed towards her like a bolt of lightning.

  “Who is this woman?” Felicity snarled, looking ready to scratch Jo’s eyes out.

  Jo looked at Jennifer, then at Felicity, then back again.

  Jennifer slowly turned red.

  “Felicity . . .” Kim had recalled her name as soon as she saw the blonde shock of hair waving wildly about.

  “I’m not talking to you!” Felicity spared her a brief glance, then glared back at Jo. “I’m talking to Jen.”

  “Jen?” Jo turned halfway toward Jennifer.

  Jennifer had turned a bright red. “It . . . I . . .” She didn’t look at Felicity, or at Jo, either. She looked at the table in front of her.

  “What’s going on, Jenny?” Jo asked.

  Jennifer turned her head slightly. She could only just glimpse at Jo from below.

  “Who is this woman?” Felicity repeated her original question, even more furiously.

  Finally Jennifer struggled through to an answer. “That’s none of your business,” she said awkwardly, looking only briefly at Felicity.

  “Come on, Jenny, why aren’t you telling her who I am?” Jo asked, irritated.

  “She’s the one you’re screwing now, I can see that,” Felicity said angrily. “How long? More than one night?” She directed her gaze toward Jo. “She doesn’t normally give you more chances than that,” she explained, as if to warn Jo. “She seduces you, screws you, and then she disappears – forever.”

  Jo stared at Felicity, speechless.

  “I told you –” Jennifer had barely started to reply when Felicity interrupted her again.

  “You said you thought I was sweet – everything about me, my lips, my breasts, my –” Felicity was almost screaming. “Even my name. But you forgot it!”

  “Is there a problem here?” Susi, the owner of the café, had been standing behind the counter, and came over. She looked questioningly first at Felicity and then at the others.

  “A problem?” Felicity spun around and stared at her like a bull staring at a red flag. “The problem is that this woman sitting here has no morals. She’ll just sleep with you, use you, and then throw you away. That’s the problem!” She turned back toward the table and fixed Jennifer with a blistering glare. “You should tape a sign on yourself: Only for one night, please. Then we’d know right away where we stand.” She sobbed and ran past Susi toward the restroom.

  Susi sighed. “That was bound to happen, Jennifer. I’ve been expecting something like that for a long time.” She arched her eyebrows and gave Jennifer a chastising look.

  Jennifer raised her hands helplessly and shrugged. “But I can’t do anything about that.”

  “Probably not.” Susi lowered her eyebrows again. “Probably none of you can.” She cast a reproving look around the circle, touching on everyone seated at the table, and then went back behind the counter.

  After Susi had gone, the atmosphere seemed to relax. Everyone took a deep breath.

  Everyone – except Jo. “Who was that, Jenny?” she asked in the same tone of voice that Felicity had used earlier.

  Kim stepped in quickly, because Jennifer still appeared to be in shock. “Don’t get the wrong idea,” she implored Jo. “That was long before your time.”

  Jo’s eyebrows were almost meeting in the middle of her forehead, she was frowning so severely. “Before our time?” She looked at Jennifer.

  “Yes.” Jennifer exhaled heavily once more. “Back then . . . well, you know . . .”

  Jo turned around and looked over toward the restroom, although there was nothing to see but a closed door. “You slept with her,” she said slowly, and turned back around. “That was obvious from her outburst. And she’s still chasing after you, even though it was that long ago?” Her voice sounded a little skeptical.

  “Please, love . . .” Jennifer gave Jo a pleading look. “Not you, too.”

  “She’s acting like it happened yesterday,” Jo said.

  “But it didn’t. It was before we met. And you know we both . . .”

  “Yeah.” Jo looked deep into Jennifer’s eyes. “I know.”

  Kim felt a bit awkward with Sandra next to her, witnessing all of this. She laughed, embarrassed. “It’s not always like this here. I don’t want you to get that idea. That kind of scene is actually pretty rare.”

  “Oh, I found it very interesting.” Sandra smiled. “It was like a movie set. Entrance . . . furious scene . . . exit.”

  “I don’t think Felicity sees it like that.” Kim glanced at the restroom out of the corner of her eye. Felicity still hadn’t reemerged. “I think for her, this is reality, not a movie.”

  “I’m sure,” Sandra said. “Poor kid.”

  “Kid . . . well . . .” Kim shook her head dubiously. “Not really quite a kid anymore, but yet still one in a way, and that’s the problem. Old enough to have sex, but not old enough to deal with everything that comes with it.” She took a deep breath. “We were all like that once. It’s not exactly an easy time.”

  “You mean it gets better later?” Sandra arched her eyebrows, and it looked so much like Sonja that Kim had to gulp.

  “Not necessarily.”

  “What happened between you and Sonja?” Sandra asked. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me anything, of course, but I already know you slept together.”

  Kim felt a gentle ache in the region of her heart. “She was . . . she is . . . Jo has the job I used to have.”

  “That means Jo works for Sonja; I had more or less picked up on that already.”

  Kim nodded.

  “And you used to work for her.” Sandra looked thoughtfully at Kim.

  Kim cleared her throat. “Did you talk to your father?”

  “Yes.” Sandra arched her eyebrows skeptically. “He denies the possibility.”

  “But you don’t believe him?”

  “Hm.” Sandra looked even more skeptical than before. “He had this really funny look on his face.”

  Kim looked musingly at Sandra. “I found something out that had escaped my notice before. Sonja alluded to it earlier, but I somehow didn’t catch on. Her maiden name is Kruschewski.”

  Sandra stared at Kim, dumbfounded. “Kruschewski?”

  “Yes, amazing, isn’t it?” Kim shook her head. “I looked it up in the personnel database. I knew I’d seen that name somewhere before.”

  “And what are you going to do now?”

  “I don’t know.” Kim pursed her lips indecisively. “If she’d wanted to say something, she could have said it when she heard your name. But she didn’t.”

  “Maybe it really is all just a coincidence.” Sandra shook her head, though, as if she couldn’t believe that. “The name Kruschewski isn’t the most uncommon name anywhere.”

  Kim nodded. “That’s right. But it’s still strange. That you two look so much alike . . . and then the name, too . . .”

  “Yes.” Sandra frowned again. “But then, why isn’t she interested in finding out more about it?”

  Kim shrugged. “I don’t know that either.”

  “You don’t want to ask her?” Sandra arched her eyebrows and examined Kim’s face.

  “Our relationship is . . . difficult.” Kim grimaced again.

  “Seems that way.” Sandra smiled gently. “If you don’t want to ask her, I’ll ask her. I just want to know, now.”

  Kim stared at her a bit quizzically. Uncertainly, she cleared her throat. “I can understand . . .” She sighed. “I can understand that you want to
know whether you’re related.”

  “I honestly can’t imagine that we aren’t.” Sandra laughed. “Even if she’s only a distant cousin . . . I’d still be happy about it.”

  “The question is whether Sonja would be happy about it, too.” Kim had her doubts.

  “Why shouldn’t she be?” Sandra shrugged. “I’m not so awful that someone wouldn’t want to be related to me.” She tilted her head. “Or do you think I am?”

  Kim shook her head, laughing. “It’s not about you, it’s about Sonja. She’s a pretty closed person, very discreet. She doesn’t like it when people intrude into her private sphere.”

  “Who does?” Sandra chuckled. Kim and she thought at the same time about the fact that Kim had unwittingly intruded into Sandra’s private sphere. “But this time, she’ll just have to learn to like it. It affects me, too, after all.”

  “Yes.” Kim nodded. “You have the right to find out if you’re part of the same family.”

  “I think so, too.” Sandra laughed once again. “It can’t really be all that bad to have to get used to one new family member. If Sonja is that difficult, it’ll probably be more of a challenge for me than it is for her.”

  Kim sighed. “Sonja is always a challenge.”

  “You’ve been through a lot with her; I could tell, the first time when you spoke to me on the street.” Sandra gave Kim a sympathetic look.

  “No, I . . .”

  “Oh, yes.” Jo stepped in. “I know I’m not supposed to say anything, but I’ve seen enough.”

  “Jo . . .” Kim gave Jo a tormented look.

  “She’s a great manager. Mrs. Kantner, I mean.” Jo laughed. “It’s hard for me to use her first name. We’re still fairly formal with one another.” She shook her head. “She’s absolutely first-class; she’s miles better than all the other managers, but as a human being . . .”

  “She is very nice,” Kim said stubbornly.

  “Oh, yes, I can’t complain now, but at the beginning . . .” Jo shook her head. “I was this close to quitting my job. It was like working next to a case of dynamite that might explode at any second.”