Believe (Faith & Friendship Series)

by Jayne, S. L.

  His words hit me and the tears that were stinging my eyes earlier start to fall, I blink rapidly to try and stop them.

  “Matt, I’ve never… had anyone in my life like you, ever. I convinced myself that it was in your job description to flirt with me, I told myself that I couldn’t ever be who you would want me to be. You have this image that screams out to women, I don’t mean that in a bad way, but I’m just me… I haven’t had serious boyfriends or one night stands, I’ve never wanted to open myself up for getting hurt.” I bite down on my lip nervously.

  I’ve never told anyone about my fear of getting hurt, it’s always been my past that people think I’m most afraid of- and I am afraid of not being good enough, but I’m scared to death of heart break. That’s why I’ve closed myself off from believing in love.

  “You may not see it, but you calm me down in a way you won’t ever understand. I know I’ve flipped twice in front of you, and fuck if I don’t hate myself for that… but just thinking of you, and wanting to be good enough for you, it makes me a better a person. We may be our own kinds of messed up, baby, but together we’re stronger… I swear to you, I swear on every breath I take, that I won’t hurt you. Believe me, Princess, I’ll never hurt you.”

  Everything has stopped. My heart, my breathing, my thoughts, it’s all frozen. I always thought I was the one that wasn’t good enough for him, or for anyone, but hearing him tell me I make him a better person has knocked the wind right out of me.

  “I know… I know you won’t hurt me, Matt, not intentionally. I feel safe with you, safer than I’ve ever felt in my life. I just need to get my head around how you feel about me, it’s a lot to take in.”

  I can see his lips forming a smirk. “I know, baby, take as long as you need, I’m not going anywhere. We have some firsts to work on with you,” he winked.

  Eyeing him suspiciously, I draw my eyebrows in to show my confusion.

  He let out a small chuckle. “I already told you I want to be the one to give you sex on the beach, but you need your first time to be in my bed. You need to see how I feel about you, then you might understand.”

  My eyes widen and my cheeks heat up at him mentioning my first time, he knows I’m a virgin.

  “Way to make me blush, lurch.” I playfully slap my hand across his chest.

  His body shakes against mine from his laughter. With me still in his arms, he stands up and starts to walk in the direction of my car.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “To your car, I’ll come back for mine tomorrow. We need to get back, now.”

  ***

  “Where is everyone?” I whisper as we walk through Matt’s apartment.

  I put my cell on the table, not bothering to wait for a reply from Ava. I texted her with a quick run through of what happened and told her I was with Matt and not to worry.

  He frowned. “My mom and dad don’t live here, baby, they were just staying here for Thanksgiving.”

  “But… he was here this morning, too. We talked.”

  “You and my dad talked? He looked at me shocked.

  “Um, yeah. He kinda told me to tell you that you’re not too old for a spanking, and that he’d beat your ass if you didn’t sweep me off my feet.”

  “Oh really?” he said, stepping toward me.

  I nod my head, not wanting to open my mouth and let out a nervous sound.

  He licks his lips and takes another step toward me, closing the space between us. “Interesting… do you think I could sweep you off your feet, Princess?”

  I cocked my head to the side, shrugged my shoulder and smiled.

  “Mission accepted, baby,” he said as he pulled me into him and crashed his lips against mine. Opening my mouth to take a breath, it gives him the access he needs to slide his tongue in and tease mine with his warm taste. He tastes delicious with a hint of sin.

  Holy shit, he knows how to use his mouth!

  I lifted my arms to wrap them around his neck as he grabbed my waist and lifted me, I wrapped my legs around him as his hand came up and he threaded his fingers into my hair pushing my head towards him to deepen the kiss. Our chests are crushed together so close I can feel his chest muscles and his six pack through his shirt.

  Breaking the kiss leaving me breathless, he rushes down the hall to his bedroom, nuzzling his face in my neck, nibbling and kissing up to my ear.

  “I need you, I need you to get how I feel about you. My words aren’t working properly, I need to show you,” he whispered through his heavy breathing.

  A shudder rips through me as his warm breath hits my skin, feeling his strong arms wrapped around me, I tip my head back giving him more access to my neck, my heart starts to race at his words and his kisses that are now trailing up and down my neck.

  We reach his bed and he lowers me down onto my back carefully, not wanting to break the contact between us. It feels so good to have him this close to me. All the times we had been at the gym with him pressed up against me, I never imagined it could get hotter. I feel him bring his knee up slowly between my legs, making my thighs part as he leans up on his elbow and runs his other hand down my body to the bottom of my dress and trails his finger up my thigh. He stops for a second to remove his shirt. My eyes widen and my mouth goes dry, his body is stunning- his arm tattoo runs up and over his shoulder, trailing round to his chest and down his ribs, stopping just above his v line. His abs are solid, as are the rest of his muscles.

  I feel my nerves start to kick in. I don’t know if I want him to stop, I don’t think I want him to stop making me feel good, but before I can start over thinking it he brings his mouth back to mine and slowly teases my lips with his tongue. This kiss is different, it has purpose and he is kissing me like his life depends on it, I close my eyes and thread my fingers in his hair.

  “Do you know how I feel about you yet, Princess?” he whispered.

  I’m starting to get a pretty good idea, but I don’t know if I can say it out loud.

  My skin is coming alive under his touch. He’s hands aren’t soft and silky, they are rough and manly, they feel so good on my body.

  “I think so,” I breathe as I nod my head slightly, sliding my hands under his t-shirt, running my fingers up his back, over his firm muscles.

  “I need you to feel me love you… not just hear me say it, I won’t say it until I know you’re ready,” he said as he lifted his head to look into my eyes.

  His deep brown eyes look soft and sincere; he really wants me to feel it. I nod again, telling him I want him to show me, I want to feel it. I feel close and safe with him; I know deep down he isn’t the type of guy to mess with my mind, or my heart for that matter.

  “I’ll be gentle,” he says with a wink as his arm snakes around my back, he gently shifts me to get my dress up and over my head.

  I watch him kneel up, I have seen him shirtless a few times but this time feels different. I can feel my skin tingle as he runs his eyes over my body, taking me in staring at me like I am the only woman he has ever seen. I’m nervous about how this is going to feel, but I know he will be gentle and not push me.

  “I know you will, I trust you, Matt...”

  With him leaning over me I can feel him there, right where I’m aching for him; he isn’t a small guy in body frame or anywhere else. I close my eyes as our mouths meet, our kisses are eager, my hips rock on their own and I can feel my body heat rising as he brings his hips down to meet mine and I can feel his arousal pushing against me, making me ready to combust.

  He breaks the kiss and moves down my body trailing wet kisses from my neck to the top of my panties, my breath hitches as he slides his fingers inside them.

  I arch my back slightly and let out a moan. “Right there… oh, God.”

  He looks up at me and smirks as he slowly slides my panties down my thighs and brings himself back over me.

  “Are you ready, baby?” he asks as he teases my entrance.

  “Yeah, I’m okay… don’t wait, I need t
o feel you,” I say through my short breaths. I’m filled with desire for him right now, it’s strong and overpowering.

  He slowly pushes inside me and my body jolts slightly at the unfamiliar feeling and the pain; it’s not excruciating but it’s there.

  I feel him freeze, he must have seen me wince or feel me tense up.

  “What’s wrong, babe, do you need to stop?” he asked, worriedly.

  “It just hurt a bit at first, that’s all. Don’t stop, I’ll be okay,” I nodded.

  Looking up I see his eyes filled with lust and want as he carefully slides back inside me not taking his eyes off me, his lips part and I hear a low groan as he fills me before stopping.

  “Damn, you feel good wrapped around me baby. I’m never letting you go,” he said, dropping his head back.

  After a few short minutes of getting used to him being there I rock my hips slowly. He starts to move with me matching my pace, and I feel like my whole body is on fire. He gets deeper with every thrust, and I can feel my pulse racing and my mind hazing over as my whole body comes alive underneath him. I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but I want it faster.

  “Matt… I need more, I want you to go faster,” I begged.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you,” he asks, cautiously.

  I nod at him as I lift my head back and arch my back, letting him know I want it. I’m not sure that it won’t hurt me, but I know if it does it won’t be purposely and I can deal with that tomorrow, right now I need more from him I need it faster. He leans back as he picks up the pace and grabs my hips pulling me toward him, his fingers digging into me as he holds me, thrusting back and forth, forcing me to moan out.

  “Oh god, Matt, don’t stop… please,” I plead as I feel my orgasm building.

  I reach up and pull him towards me, wrapping my arms around him so our bodies are close together again.

  “Rylee, baby, you feel so God damn good…” he whispers in my ear through his short breaths.

  I feel his body trembling as he tries to hold on. I rock my hips faster and he slams into me harder, causing us both to moan out- I can feel myself tighten around him as he hits something deep inside me making me scream out his name pushing him over the edge.

  I could really get used to hearing him say my name with that deep groan.

  My legs are still shaking and Matt’s body is still trembling when he moves off of me and lays on his side next to me.

  “Now do you know how I feel about you, Princess?” he asks, winking at me.

  Chapter Nine

  Lying in the crook of Matt’s arm, still half asleep, my eyelids flutter open. In between blinks I see him looking at me with a smirk. I fell asleep on him after he had taken me to heaven and back, and here’s me thinking it was the guy that always turned over and fell asleep afterward- well that’s what I had been prepared for; listening to friends, watching TV and reading magazine articles, they all say the same thing.

  I can’t pretend to be asleep, the smile that is forcing its way across my face will give me away.

  “You know, it’s a little strange waking up to a weirdo staring over you,” I said, relaxing my face, letting the smile grow.

  “It’s a little strange having a beautiful blonde pixie sized girl, waking up in my bed and looking at me like I’m a weirdo… but hey, you don’t hear me complaining now do you?” he chuckled, leaning down to kiss my lips.

  “I am not pixie sized, jerk!” I scrunched my nose up one side, narrowed my eyes and try to give him my best mean look, but the roar of laughter that escapes him makes me think Ava was right, I really do suck at trying to look mean.

  “Too fucking cute. Now, as much as I’d love to keep you here, and carry on getting lost in the sight of having you in my bed… we need to get up and get you home,” he winked.

  He’s done with me already? I can feel my eyebrows twitching at the thoughts in my head.

  “Are you done with me now that you’ve had your wicked way?” I asked, using sarcasm as my defense mechanism.

  Spinning around, his eyes grew wide as he took in my expression, my lips are pursed and my eyes are doing everything they can not to focus on his.

  “Is that a serious question, Princess? Because if it is, then I’m gonna need my phone.”

  “For what?” I ask, giving him a quizzed look. Where the hell does his cell come into this?

  “To call your mom and ask if you were dropped as a baby, because if you seriously think I’m done with you, even slightly done with you, then I need to get you to the ER for an MRI,” he said, only half-jokingly. His tone was serious, but the smile he is now giving me is sweet.

  “You said you were taking me home,” I reminded him.

  “Yeah… it’s after ten at night and no one has seen or heard anything from you in hours. Also we need to tell them all that your sexy, stubborn ass is finally mine,” he said with a smug grin.

  “Yours?”

  Realisation of what he just said dawned on him, he turned and looked at me like he has been caught stealing cookies.

  “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that… like you’re mine to own. I meant it in the… um… other way,” he said, quickly.

  “Mm, sure you did,” I smirk, nodding my head.

  “Don’t mess with me, shorty. You know I’d never make you feel uncomfortable.” He meant what he was saying, it was laced in his voice.

  “I know, I’m sorry. I will learn to be better… I promise,” I give him a small smile, before heading out of his bedroom.

  “Whoa, hold up,” he said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist.

  Leaning down, resting his chin on my shoulder, I feel his warm breath close to my ear.

  “We’ll learn to be better together, baby. Sometimes, I’m gonna screw up and get all possessive on your ass, and you’re gonna feel owned. And then there will be times you’re gonna push me away, and I’m gonna feel useless. It won’t be easy, baby, but believe me it’ll be worth it.”

  “You’re right, you’re so damn worth it. I know you’re right. Let’s go break the news to everyone.”

  Pulling up outside my apartment, I suddenly feel reluctant about telling everyone. I don’t know why, I know they will be happy for us, but what if it jinxes us? We only talked last night, am I to call him my boyfriend now? Shit, I don’t even know. Sensing my internal discussion, Matt wraps his arm around my shoulder, leans down and kisses my temple. I smile up at him, rest my head on his chest and let him lead me into the apartment.

  “Is that you, Ry?” I hear Ava call from the kitchen.

  “Yeah, I’m home,” I reply.

  “Oh my god, I want details… every single one, don’t you dare miss anything out. I bet he’s as good as we always-” Ava stopped mid-sentence when she walked into the room and saw Matt standing next to me with a smirk plastered on his face.

  Right now, I want the floor to open up and swallow me. I shake my head and give Ava a death stare.

  “Good to know I’ve been discussed, in depth by the sounds of it,” he said, laughing. “So, am I as good as you and Ava always… I’ll let you fill in the blank, Princess,” he winked.

  “Ava, you need to fix your filter, girl. I mean it this time. And I’m not answering that,” I said, looking at them both.

  “Aww, you’ve embarrassed my girlfriend now, Ava,” Matt said, smirking again.

  Okay, so I guess he is my boyfriend, which saves me awkwardly asking him.

  “She’ll get over it, won’t you, Ry? So, she’s your girlfriend now, is she? Let’s hope she gives up the cherry soon, it’s almost past its expiration date.”

  Welcome the flaming red face, my cheeks are burning up and I’m not sure where to look.

  “Her cherry? Well…” he looked at me, square in the eye and smiled, giving me a full on gorgeous smile.

  “You have, haven’t you? You’ve already given him it?! Hallelujah!” Ava shrieked, loudly. If anyone is sleeping within a hundred mile radius, le
t’s just say they’ll be awake now.

  Matt’s laughed echoed around the room. They are trying so hard for a reaction out of me. Ava has waited for this day since forever, the day she can finally call me someone’s girlfriend, and the day she can ask me for details on my sex life. It just so happens she’s struck gold and can ask it all in one day. Oh, great, now I feel like a slut!

  “Stop, you two! You’re not even funny… haven’t you got a man that needs attending to?” I ask.

  “Yeah, but right now, details on your man is what I’m after,” she grins, turning to face Matt. “Matt, Ryan is in the bed-”

  Ryan walked into the room before she could finish

  “Where the fuck is the party at? All I can hear is Matt laughing and you screeching the house down.”

  I look at Ava and smirk; I know her plan and it failed. The one where she tries to send Matt out of the room because wants me alone to dissect me for details.

  “Rylee and Matt are together!” Ava announced, proudly.

  Ryan chuckled and slapped his hand down on Matt’s shoulder. “Took you long enough, I thought you were losing your touch, Bear.”

  “Not a chance, buddy, she makes me feel too much to lose anything,” he said, turning to smile at me.

  Smiling back at him, I saw Ava beaming at him. Trust her to get all gooey.

  “Do you want that tampon?” Ryan asked through his laughter.

  “Fuck you, Pretty boy. You’re so pussy whipped, I’m surprised we haven’t caught you in Ava’s panties yet,” he grinned.

  Ryan laughed even louder. “Well, if you were half an hour earlier…”

  I throw my hands up and shout. “OKAY, OKAY, enough… please, I don’t want to know where that was going.”

  At this point, Matt and Ryan are bent over, holding their chests trying to catch a breath through their laughter. This is why I love these guys, we all just fit together- and I know that no matter what, serious or fun moments, we’ll do it together.