Lost Paradise

by Tara Fox Hall

  “Get out!” Devlin shouted furiously. “Shut up and get out!”

  Lash didn’t reply, his footsteps coming towards me. As he opened the bathroom door, my clothes in one hand, Devlin tried to come in past him. Lash gave him a sudden shove backward, knocking him sprawling.

  “Sar,” Lash hissed sharply. “Shower fast and put these on. Open the door when you’re ready; I’ll be right outside.” He shut the door hard.

  Devlin said something in a low voice. Lash angrily hissed something back to him, but it was either in another language or so soft I couldn’t make it out.

  It didn’t matter anyway. I had bigger problems to handle, like how to ensure once I left Hayden that I never had to come back.

  * * * *

  “You look nice,” Lash hissed softly, startling me.

  We were in his truck heading to Danial’s, him driving and me running scenarios through my mind, none of them good enough to warrant a plan of action.

  I nodded, unwilling to confront him about the clothes he’d picked out for me; the tan duster, black jeans, and dark brown top. At least the underwear had been white cotton.

  “We don’t have to go to Danial’s immediately,” Lash continued. “If you want a while to get yourself together, that is.”

  I glanced in the side mirror. My face was blotchy, my eyes bright green, evidence of a good cry not quite done. “No, it’s okay.”

  Lash suddenly pulled in to a bank’s empty parking lot, and shut off the truck. He turned to me. “No, it’s not,” he hissed softly. “But there’s nothing I can say that’ll make you feel better.”

  “No,” I said brokenly, starting to cry again. “There is nothing you can say.”

  “Then take us back to the Everglades,” Lash hissed quickly. “It will be warm there. We can sit awhile in the sun.”

  I blinked at him in disbelief. “What?”

  “You need to get lost for a while,” he replied, cracking a smile. “And I would love some sun. Danny can wait a few more hours for you to answer his email.” He held out his hand. “C’mon. The weather down there has got to be paradise next to this late winter shit.”

  I used one hand to wipe my eyes, and grasped his warm hand in the other. Instantly we were there, the sun’s heat and light engulfing us immediately.

  Lash led me past the park office to an empty spot of grass. Taking off his long black coat, he spread it on the ground, then plopped down on it. I took off my duster, already sweating, and sat down beside him.

  The sun’s warmth felt wonderful. I closed my eyes and basked in it, not talking. Lash shrugged out of his overshirt, made a pillow out of it, and stretched out on his back with a groan. I waited a few moments, then did the same, quickly flipping over on my stomach to hide my eyes from the bright light.

  “If I notice you burning, I’ll tell you,” Lash hissed. “You’ll be more sensitive to light. Your lasting youth comes with a price.”

  I didn’t answer, looking off to the shoreline. The slight waves relaxed me. It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky. There was a gentle breeze off the ocean. Some tourists were walking on the paths, taking pictures of the pelicans and a group of four anhingas, a type of water bird that was basking in the sun as they dried their feathers.

  I thought for a long time about what to do and came up with nothing that made any sense that I also could live with. In my desperation, I looked over at Lash and suddenly was tempted to ask him to bite me.

  There was only one way to run away and stay free; enlist him to help me. He’d wanted to make me snake last night. The only problem was his two reasons he’d spoken for not doing it were still in force. He’d refuse if I asked him. I’d have to startle him somehow and get him to inject poison so he’d be forced to turn me or let me die…

  Letting out a huge sigh, I sat up and told myself to stop the crazy daydreams. There was no running away with Lash. I had to face this and find a solution.

  Lash stirred. “Ready to go?” he asked, not opening his eyes.

  “Not remotely.”

  “Then lie down and rest,” he hissed. “You were up most of the night. Think of nothing but your body being relaxed. Let the sun warm you. You’ll feel better.”

  I stretched out on the warm grass, and closed my eyes. For a short while my mind raced. Before long I fell asleep, lulled by the warmness of the day and the heat of the sun.

  When I awoke, the shadows had lengthened, and there was a chill in the air. Lash and I were wrapped around each other, lying half on his coat, half on the grass mixed with dew. I burrowed closer to him, trying to get warmer, then dragged my duster over my shoulders.

  “I’d like to stay, too,” Lash hissed in my ear. “But we have to leave. Danial expected you hours ago..”

  I blinked my eyes, then groggily got to my feet. “Why didn’t he find us?”

  “We were lucky,” Lash hissed, yawning. “There are tracking devices in our cell phones. Devlin likely doesn’t know we didn’t arrive. But he will soon, if we don’t get back and Danial calls him. I don’t need the bullshit I’d hear about that and neither do you.”

  Tracking my cell had been how Devlin found me the night I’d been taken. “Why on your phone? I understand mine, but—”

  “It’s a standard feature,” Lash hissed, slipping into his shirt and coat. “I removed mine right after I was given the phone, though keep that to yourself. I just thought I should remind you that if you run from Devlin, Sar, you can always be found.”

  “And it will be you that comes for me, won’t it?” I accused.

  “Probably,” Lash hissed, offering his hand.

  I shot him a glare, then teleported without taking it. Lash grabbed my hand before I could vanish, appearing beside me in Danial’s great room. Danial was there, pacing the floor, talking into the phone angrily.

  “You can calm down,” I said loudly, my voice reverberating. “I’m here.”

  Ghost and Darkness came barreling into the room and jumped on me immediately, almost knocking me down.

  “Down!” I said firmly. They obeyed grudgingly, whining, their tails wagging. “Someone has been letting you get away with bad behavior,” I teased, crouching down and hugging them, running my hands in their thick fur.

  Danial hung up and strode over to me, annoyance radiating off him like heat. “Where have you been?” he said stridently.

  “With—” I looked around for Lash, but he was gone.

  “You left Hayden back around noon. It is now past five,” Danial said. “I repeat; where have you been?”

  I ignored him and went into the kitchen. After skipping breakfast and lunch, I’d be damned if I started working without eating first.

  “I asked you a question,” Danial said quietly, his fury obvious.

  “With Lash,” I answered, opening the fridge. “I needed time to think things over. I have to make some choices.”

  Danial waited a moment, then cautiously replied, “What things?”

  “Devlin blew up and demanded I live with him,” I said wearily. “He said I could see you and Theo on the weekends—”

  “Over my dead body!” Theo said hatefully from the doorway. “You are not living with him, Sar! You are—”

  “Shut the hell up!” I screamed, making both Theo and Danial jump. “I need solutions, not blustering orders.” I turned to Danial. “That’s your business, isn’t it; finding solutions? Either help me find a way out of this or get the hell away from me!”

  Theo and Danial left at once, the scrape of chairs in the dining room telling me they hadn’t gone far. When I’d made my lunch, I brought it in to join them.

  “—I was afraid he would do this eventually,” Danial finished. “He—”

  “Sar doesn’t want to live with him and I don’t want her there,” Theo interjected. “But I’m worried to have her home with me. I still haven’t tracked down Robert. Karl’s men have also kept their heads down—”

  “She can stay here with me for now,” Danial said d
ecisively. “Samuel will not act against a fellow Ruler, not with us being Oathed.” He looked over at me, then back at Theo. “Both of you go home and pack anything important. I’ll have the foxes watch your house for you.”

  Theo shrugged. “Maybe that would work, but where would we sleep? We could sleep in the basement, but you’d need to feed some evenings. I suppose we could sleep at the were compound—”

  “Sar will stay with me in my bedroom, as she always has,” Danial said, his eyes on Theo. “You are welcome to stay there as well.”

  Theo’s eyes got huge. “What are you saying?”

  “Theo, close your mouth. We are not going to be having sex,” Danial said patiently. “I don’t wear pajamas,” Theo said, blushing hotly.

  I bit my lip, trying not to laugh.

  “I have some you can borrow for tonight,” Danial offered. “We only need bottoms anyway.”

  Theo blushed harder, and looked at the floor.

  Danial rolled his eyes. “Theo, for all the times I saw you coming in at four in the morning after you had changed form in my forest, you think I don’t know what you look like naked? You’ve seen me naked, too, on occasion. Just because we’re in bed doesn’t mean something is going to happen—”

  But Danial wanted something to happen with the three of us; it was obvious. Not that the thought wasn’t interesting. Now that Devlin had made us realize the possibilities, we’d both found that we enjoyed experimentation. But that possibility wasn’t something Theo needed to face right now. We had more important things to think about besides fantasies.

  “We should all be clothed,” I interjected, coloring. “I don’t need to have any temptation, Danial. If we all have some clothes on, it will be that much easier for everyone.”

  “You should leave as soon as possible,” Danial urged. “We can discuss night clothes later.”

  “Is Terian back?” I asked, carrying my dishes to the kitchen. “We need his help—”

  “He is, but he’s no match for Titus,” Theo replied. “Just like I’m no match for that snake.”

  It was on my lips to tell them that Lash was dying, that Theo might be able to beat him now in a fight. But I said nothing, remembering how he’d broken Vince’s neck and bit Kev. Lash might be failing, but he was still deadly enough to kill Theo.

  “Go,” Danial commanded. “I’ll contact Terian. Speed is of the essence.”

  * * * *

  Four hours later, Theo and I were on the road back to Danial’s in separate cars, having left Ivan and Janice in charge of our home. I was lost in thought, replaying the scene at our house when we’d arrived.

  Theo had been teasing Ivan for Janice’s nickname for him, Van. Janice had countered with a dig at Theo’s full name, Theopolis, leading Theo to reveal that his mom had been reading a religious book about Ireland, researching his family roots when she was pregnant. That had led to a brief foray into babies names and how activities during pregnancy influenced them. Suddenly the conversation had ceased, Janice and Ivan no longer meeting my eyes. I didn’t know if it was because one of my babies was Devlin’s or because of Lash. I’d blurted some thanks for them watching our house, and then they’d left to get lunch in town.

  What had bothered me most was that the packing hadn’t made me emotional at all. I’d been gone so much these past few months that no place was home anymore. But my pets would be there; all three cats were in stacked cages beside me on the seat meowing loudly. Theo, Danial, and my children were there. That was my family. That was all that really mattered.

  Chapter Ten

  The minutes dragged by as I followed Theo in the truck to Danial’s. Desperate to assuage my depression and the loud cat pleas for release, I flipped on the radio.

  ...your love is like a shadow on me all of the time....

  Bonnie Tyler’s Total Eclipse of the Heart. I’d loved this in high school. I turned it up.

  Once upon a time, I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart.

  There’s nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

  Once upon a time there was light in my life, now there’s only love in the dark...

  I flipped it off, irritated. “I don’t remember those lyrics. Some love song.” I rode the remainder of the trip in silence punctuated by loud meowing.

  As we pulled into Danial’s long driveway, it began to snow. Winter was reminding us that it was still in control. There would be a few hard months before we found ourselves in the warmth of spring.

  How had so much gone so wrong? I’d thought having Theo, Danial, and Devlin would be paradise, had even wished for it last fall and winter. I’d wanted Devlin to really want me, for Theo to leave Tasha and come back to me, for Danial to drop Monica, and love only me. I’d gotten my wishes, all of them, and the reality was nothing like I’d thought it would be.

  I pushed my thoughts aside, angry with myself. It was past time to stop griping, and start taking control of my life back. I’d share it with whomever of the guys was willing to accept my terms. I knew I could count on Danial, if not Theo and Devlin. He and I could handle this, so long as we stood together.

  * * * *

  Hours later, I put the last shirt away and sighed with relief. Danial’s dressers were bulging with the clothes Theo and I had brought, but everything had fit. Theo’s hand-carved chairs were now in the great room, giving it a rustic touch. My cats Jesse, Cavity, and Ash weren’t fighting with Briar, though Briar had seemed leery of Ghost and Darkness. The Cougar and the Woman were safe in the corner cabinet with Theo’s other carvings.

  “Do you feel like a late dinner?” Theo asked from the doorway.

  “Yes,” I answered. “Can you make some sandwiches? I’ll be right out.”

  Halfway through my sandwich, my mind began to wander off Theo’s chitchat. All I could think about suddenly was that I’d rather be eating my sushi back at Hayden.

  “—I’ll be gone tomorrow,” Theo continued. “If you want, I could pick up some new DVD’s or books for you.”

  Maybe I should call Dev. He’d been so angry and jealous over Lash. He’d just reacted like he had because of that.

  “I know you have a lot of email work, but I’ll try to schedule my meetings so we—”

  Dev would be so happy if I called him. I could imagine his rich voice laughing, and teasing. He loved me. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, if I lived with him…

  “Danial!” I shouted, making Theo jump. “Come here quick!”

  There was several thumps on the stairs, then Danial appeared. “What is it, Love?” he asked, coming to me. “Do you have contractions?”

  “I need your blood!” I said frantically. “Quick!”

  “Why?” Theo said, leaping to his feet. “What’s happening?”

  “Devlin’s blood is working on me, calling me back to him,” I said, my eyes wide in fear. “I need Danial’s blood to keep me rational—”

  “Won’t his work the same way in you?” Theo said quickly.

  Danial leaned down and kissed me deeply, opening his mouth on mine. I kissed him back desperately, not caring that Theo was watching. A sweet coppery taste flooded my mouth laced with an undercurrent of spice, that same hint of nutmeg I often smelled on Danial’s skin.

  In a few seconds the taste vanished, and Danial broke the kiss. “Do you still want to go to him?” he asked.

  I closed my eyes, examined my feelings, and then opened my eyes with a snap. “Yes. And I know why. He’s been careful to give me his blood as often as possible and as much as possible since Christmas. It was his intention all along to keep me in thrall to him with his blood!”

  “Then how’d you break his thrall now?” Theo began suspiciously.

  Danial’s eyes tinged red, and he kissed me again, harder, his tongue delving deep into my mouth, the spice no longer a trickle, but a torrent. I swallowed over and over blissfully. Danial suddenly went to his knees, pulling me down to the floor with him as my chair fell over with a crash.

  “
Stop,” Theo growled. “You’ve given her enough!”

  The thought raced across my pleasure-laden brain that he was right. Danial should be stopping me. But I didn’t want him to. Not ever…

  The torrent slowed abruptly. I burrowed into Danial’s lips with mine, trying to get more.

  Danial broke away, pushing me back from him. “Stop, Sar! Stop!”

  Groggily, I got to my hands and knees, then started towards Danial. Theo grabbed hold of me.

  “Let—ahh!” I snarled, falling back to land on my ass.

  “No,” Danial whispered fearfully.

  “Danial, what have you done?” Theo said in a strangled voice, staring at me.

  “Sarelle, go look in the mirror,” Danial ordered. “Now.”

  At least he didn’t sound afraid anymore. I got up and went into the bathroom, the bright light making me wince. My reflection wasn’t a surprise to me: luminous skin, bright green eyes, and dark pink lips with blood on them. But when I went to wipe the blood away, I cut my lip.

  I opened my mouth hesitantly, bracing myself for fangs. But my teeth appeared normal. A casual light touch that sliced open my finger reveled they weren’t. My teeth were as sharp as Danial’s now.

  Rationalizing that this was the price for being lucid, I grabbed a pen and paper from Danial’s night stand and went back out to Theo and Danial.

  “I’m fine,” I wrote. “This is how I looked at first when Devlin saved me. My teeth are sharper, though.”

  “I felt them,” Danial said with a faint smile. “You bit me, trying to get more of my blood.”

  “Sorry,” I wrote, then squeezed his hand.

  “Do you feel him calling to you now?” Theo asked.

  I shook my head, then wrote, “Ask just yes or no questions, please.”

  “Tell me if that changes,” Danial said. Giving me a light kiss on the cheek, he went back upstairs.

  I thought about whether I should write a note that told him I’d help him tomorrow, then let out an irritated sigh.