Lost Paradise

by Tara Fox Hall

  Theo came over to me and took my hand in his. “Are you sure you are okay?”

  I nodded, then pointed back at our uneaten food. Theo nodded, and we went back and resumed eating.

  That didn’t last long. I bit myself a few times on the tongue on my first few tries. Irritable, I’d given up and fed the sandwich to Ghost and Darkness, who had gobbled it down greedily, wondering how much harder eating would be if I’d grown a true set of vampire fangs. The cuts had healed almost immediately, but they’d hurt a lot.

  Motioning I was going to bed, I left Theo with his third sandwich and went into Danial’s bedroom. Lying down on his bed, I let myself drift into sleep.

  Sometime later, Theo woke me when he entered. “I hope you feel better,” he said, coming to sit beside me. “You had a rough night.”

  I made a face carefully and nodded.

  “I talked to Elle; told her we’d be staying here for a while. I told her it was because of Robert, but I think she knows I left something out.”

  Someone, you meant. I nodded again, then patted his hand.

  Danial came into the bedroom and shut the door. “Any change?”

  Theo shook his head.

  Danial walked to the dresser, opened a drawer, and then tossed a pair of pants to Theo, taking out one for himself. He began to undress.

  Theo dropped my hand, got up, and went into the bathroom.

  Danial put on the bottoms, and then got into bed. “Come to bed when you’re ready, Love.”

  I took off my clothes, got into a long flannel nightgown that covered everything, and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Theo was sitting on the toilet, looking like he was sixteen and about to take his first driver’s test. The silk pants were in his hands.

  “Why’d he give me red?” he whispered. “I hate red.”

  I wanted to laugh, but didn’t. I made motions with my hands that indicated there was nothing to be done about the situation, and went about my business.

  “What if I touch him in the night?” Theo whispered.

  I gave him a look that said there were many more important things to be worrying about.

  “I don’t want him to touch me!” Theo said, making a face.

  I snorted with laughter, then sighed and took out my pen and paper. “Look, it is obvious neither of you are gay!” I wrote, “What are you afraid of? Danial is not going to seduce you. You know him, you’ve been friends for years.”

  Theo took the pen and paper. “But I can see this turns him on,” Theo wrote back. “He likes the idea of us together in bed.”

  He was writing his response because he hadn’t wanted Danial to overhear his words. “So what if he does?” I wrote. “You’re an adult who can make choices.”

  Theo looked at me in shock. “Do you like the idea?” he wrote, adding three question marks.

  I wanted to tell him that Devlin had, but decided that would be cruel. “Theo, until the children are born, nothing is going to happen,” I wrote. “We can discuss this in the morning, when I’ll hopefully be normal again.”

  Theo gave me an uneasy look and sat down on the edge of the bathtub, pants still in hand. He made no move to get undressed.

  I was too tired for this. Giving him a kiss on the cheek, I patted his arm with my hand and left.

  Danial was waiting beneath the covers. I slipped in beside him, and he turned and embraced me, snuggling close. “I heard you talking,” he said softly. “This was why I didn’t want him to know, Sar. I worried he would be uncomfortable around me if he knew.”

  I was not getting the paper and pen again. “You showed him pics of you and Dev with women years ago,” I managed, talking very, very slowly.

  “Seeing pictures is one thing. Actually being in bed together with a woman is another.”

  I nodded, then closed my eyes to tell him I was done talking for the night.

  For once, Danial didn’t take the hint. “I must tell you something,” he whispered.

  My eyes snapped open. Whatever this was, it was serious. I turned to face him, expectant.

  “I wasn’t here for Christmas,” Danial said. “I expected with your curious nature that you would ask me about it, especially after all your questions on our trip to Letchworth. I feel awkward bringing this up, after so much time has passed. But I wanted to tell you I was sorry that I had missed Christmas with you, that I hadn’t been there myself to give you the earrings and the poem.”

  Reluctantly, I reached for the pen and paper. Danial handed them to me.

  “Well?” I wrote, then crossed it out, flushing at my bluntness. “You were on a job,” I wrote. “I assumed it was dangerous, too dangerous to come home?”

  Danial nodded. “A demon was being set by a corporate climber to knock out competition. I was hired only to discover who. But when I knew the real cause, I couldn’t turn the information over to the client, who had no idea how to handle a demon.”

  I waited, expectant.

  “Terian tracked down the demon, and helped find it’s human master. Then I called in a professional to handle things.”

  Did I want to know anymore? And why was Danial telling me all this now? “Is the demon alive?”

  Danial shook his head. “The professional was as good as his references made him out to be. I tell you this now because I’m not sure that demon won’t show up again someday. While almost all demons stay far away from those who they knew when they were last out of Hell, a few sometimes come looking for revenge. Terian received word today that this demon has been summoned out of hell. I wanted to warn you, just in case. If you feel blackness, don’t assume it’s Terian.”

  “Titus said the same thing,” I wrote. “I’ll be on my toes.”

  “Good,” Danial said, taking the paper and pen from me. “Terian has wards in place, so no full demon except his father can teleport here. But it pays to have everyone aware. You were my last to be warned.” He paused. “I would not have let anything keep me from Christmas with you if I could help it, Sar. I needed you to know that.”

  I squeezed his hand, then kissed his cheek, telling him I knew that.

  Theo was in the bathroom for so long, I fell asleep waiting. Danial nudged me gently when he finally appeared an hour later.

  Theo looked to die for. The red pants had been made to be loose-fitting on Danial, who was much less bulky. In short, they clung to my husband in all the right places, the outline of the little they hid visible by the bathroom light. Theo’s chest was bare, the deep V of his chest hair shining in the light. His muscles rippled as he leaned in and turned off the bathroom light, cloaking him in darkness, then he padded towards us barefoot.

  “I feel your heart racing, Sar,” Danial said seductively, excitement in his words.

  Theo stopped still.

  “Get in here, Theo,” I said, praying that The Lust didn’t take this moment to show itself.

  Theo took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then got into bed. But he stayed over near the edge, and didn’t come near us.

  “Theo, I’m not going to bite,” Danial said, mirth in his words. “You can come closer to Sar, if you want.”

  “I’m fine where I am,” Theo squeaked.

  “Suit yourself.” Danial pulled me a little closer to him, and then relaxed.

  I touched Theo on his shoulder with my fingertips, making him jump. When he saw it was me, he turned over on his side facing me, and put his hand in mine.

  * * * *

  When I awoke, the dynamic had changed. I was now in Theo’s arms, clasped tight against his chest. We were in the middle of the bed, where we usually slept when we were in our own bed. But we weren’t alone. Danial was behind me, his body pressed to my back, his arms also around me underneath Theo’s.

  Danial felt me wake, and woke up. He kissed my cheek. “Any change?”

  I carefully probed my teeth with my tongue. “Back to normal,” I said, relieved.

  “Then wake him up,” Danial said wickedly. “I’m dying to se
e his face.”

  I leaned up a little and kissed Theo. “Theo,” I said softly.

  He didn’t stir.

  I kissed him again. “Theo, there’s bacon.”

  Theo shifted, but didn’t open his eyes. Then he said sleepily “I don’t smell any, Sar.”

  “I’ll make you some, if you let me up,” I said, trying hard not to burst out laughing.

  “No,” he said, squeezing me and Danial. “I want you to stay here with me. I missed you. I want you. I know we can’t do the normal way, but we could—”

  “Theo,” I said stridently. “We are not alone.”

  Theo’s eyes flew open, registering he was holding both Danial and I. He pushed back hard with his arms, trying to get away.

  Danial moved fast, his hands clamping on Theo’s arms to hold him where he was. “Careful,” Danial said sharply, holding him still. “You may hurt Sar in your fear of me.”

  Theo was breathing hard now, clearly afraid. “Let me go.”

  “No,” Danial said patiently. “We need to get past this.” He paused. “I’m not going to touch you as I touch Sar. When I and Devlin were together with her, we touched her together, not each other. There is nothing for you to be afraid of. I have never wanted a male lover. I’m not about to change after four hundred and twenty some years.”

  “Then why does the idea of you and I sharing Sar together excite you so much?” Theo replied. “I can smell that it does.”

  “I liked what Devlin and I did together with her,” Danial replied. “I liked it very much, much more than I expected to. I have shared women with Devlin before, but never one that either of us loved. It was just sex, and it wasn’t that good, not for me, anyway. But being with he and Sar was different.” He paused. “What we did that night, I…I’d never done it before. I hadn’t known how good it could be, watching another man make love to her, and helping him love her. I saw what it did for Sar, how much she loved what we did to her.” Danial paused again. “At my age, there is very little that is new, especially in love or sex. That this was so good and I’d never known of it…well, I’m looking forward to next time.” He glanced over at me. “If Sar in interested, that is.”

  “I can tell she is,” Theo growled, either from jealously or from my not being on his side. “But why me and not your brother?”

  “You are like a brother to me. I think it would be as good with you as it was with Devlin. Maybe better even, because I know how much you love her.”

  My love for Theo aside, I didn’t agree. Devlin had been the ringmaster of our threesome, maneuvering us all masterfully. The reason it had been so good was that he had been the one in control. But I didn’t say any of that.

  “Why do you really object?” Danial continued. “Your views on sex have never been Biblical.”

  “I just…I just never considered it,” Theo whispered. “It seems immoral to me. It seems wrong somehow.”

  “If it’s something we all want, I don’t see how it’s wrong. We both love her, and she loves us. Who are we hurting by doing this with each other?”

  “No one,” Theo whispered reluctantly.

  “Then please consider it,” Danial said, letting Theo go and gently moving me aside so he could get up. “Not until after the babies are born, and Sar’s well enough for it. But perhaps then, if you are interested, we might try it.”

  Theo moved to the far side of the bed and didn’t answer.

  Danial put on his bathrobe, and turned to us, fastening the tie. “You said you wanted her, Theo. I’m going to use Elle’s shower. She and Theoron are at their lessons by now. No one will hear you, including me.” Danial got some clothes out for himself, gave me a passionate kiss, and then left, closing the door gently behind him. Once his footsteps receded, all was quiet.

  Theo’s expression was petrified. I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Relax. There’s no pressure. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and I mean here with me now, too.”

  Theo turned and kissed me gently. “You can talk. Your teeth aren’t sharp anymore,” he said, very relieved.

  “Good thing, too,” I said with a smile. “I’d make a bad vampire. I’m very bad at being careful.” My smile became suggestive. “And you’d be out of luck.”

  “Say it for me,” Theo said lustily, pulling me close.

  “As many times as you want me, Theo. As many times as you want me.”

  * * * *

  Feeling sated and stuffed with bad breakfast food, I made my way up the stairs to Danial’s study. Terian and Danial were both hard at work at their computers.

  “What first?” I asked. “How many emails are we up to?”

  “I’ve done the more pressing ones,” Terian answered. He gestured to some piles on a small desk. “We set that up for you to use.”

  Making a fake cheery face back at him, I got to work. “How was your trip out west?”

  “Good,” Terian answered, flashing me a smile.

  He looked better than good, he looked more relaxed than I’d ever seen him, as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

  An hour later, Terian shut off his computer and got up.

  “Quitting early?” I teased.

  “I’ve been working since eight a.m.,” he replied, smirking. “Despite all the disturbances.”

  He had heard Theo and I. “I hope we kept you entertained,” I said drolly.

  He laughed, nodded, then left.

  Danial also got up from his computer, grabbing a few papers from beside his desk.

  “You leaving, too?” I asked

  “My donor is downstairs waiting,” Danial answered. “I’ve left the internet window open, so when you’re done filing, you can begin answering emails. You already know what to do; the only new thing is that we have a new signature for you that includes the web address. I’ve logged you on, so that will be automatic.”

  “I’m almost ready to switch to that,” I said. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

  Danial gave me another kiss on the cheek, and then left.

  A few minutes later, I began to go through the emails for Solutions, Inc. There were a bunch of good leads. I printed off at least thirty emails, and then gave them case numbers. There were more than a few that were junk, so I deleted them. As usual, there were also a few that had to be sent to Devlin.

  As I attached them all to one email to him, I wondered what Dev did exactly with everything I sent him from Solutions, Inc. He’d had all these meetings this week, but who was he meeting? Devlin had credited his vast wealth to his investments. He’d initially been given this branch of the business by Danial in an attempt to get back some of the respect and fear power he’d lost when Danial had disposed him as Ruler, not for the money it would bring in. Now as the new Ruler of Canada, Devlin no longer needed additional respect. Devlin also never had indicated he was working these cases at all, so who was? Lash?

  I reclined back in the chair, puzzling over this mystery. Danial had said once that Devlin was handling the work we sent his way very well, without a lot of bloodshed. I’d just accepted that vague answer at the time, because back then I’d been happy not to know. But things were different now.

  What was going on? Had Dev been killing people those nights he had left me to go out? If he had, were they justice kills, righting wrongs? I remembered Devlin’s answer to Danial at stake point years ago, telling him that he’d take care of Danial’s hits for the Italians, so Danial wouldn’t have to do them anymore. Had Dev paid off the mob or had he been killing people for them? If he had, what had happened to that arrangement when he’d left for Rio, then reappeared here months later?

  Where did Lash fit into all of this? He had to be involved somehow; likely he did some of the contract killing. But why do them for Devlin, not for himself? Did Devlin approve them for him? Did they split the money? That seemed unfair to Lash, if he did all the work. That bitter comment about being told what to do all the time had been important and meaningful. So had the ease
with which Lash had disposed of Kev and Vince, two trained and powerful men much younger and in peak shape.

  Where did Titus fit here? He seemed too nice for contract killing. Yet if he ate people, that was way too generous an assumption, even if he was a relatively good demon.

  The nights Dev had gone out, he’d worn suits half the time and jeans the rest. Had he been doing jobs on the casual nights, and meeting clients on the dressy ones? Or had he been collecting payment in jeans and killing more upscale people in a suit? Or was this all just a bullshit smokescreen and he’d been meeting a woman—or women—to satisfy himself? I knew Dev’s appetites; he’d been far too relaxed all week to not have had any sex.

  Angry at myself for my sudden surge of jealousy, I focused again on the business end. Devlin had given me the filing to do. He’d said they were all of his records. So where were the business records: the cases, the expense reports, all of the details? I’d only found various employees’ wage listings, old receipts for household expenditures, some handwritten investment records, and a whole lot of love notes.

  I was having his child. If that child was in danger because of what Dev was doing, I needed to know. Now.

  I picked up the phone and called his cell. The phone rang twice before he answered.

  “Hi, Love,” Devlin purred. “I’ve been missing you.”

  I didn’t reply, debating what to ask first and how best to ask it.

  “What have you been doing all day?”

  “Cut the shit, Dev,” I said calmly. “We parted on bad terms. Don’t act nice to me now, just because you probably got laid a few minutes ago.”

  “I was not with anyone today, Sar,” Devlin said gently. “I’m just happy to talk to you.”

  “So talk.”

  “I want to say I am sorry for how I said what I said—” Devlin began vaguely.

  “So you aren’t sorry for saying it,” I stated.

  “I want more than one child with you, if we have a girl first,” Devlin said bluntly. “Things were going so well, I thought that you might like the idea. I know you haven’t got to working on the nursery yet, though I liked the colors and suggestions you have been showing me—”