She's No Angel

by Janine A. Morris

  “Good morning, baby,” she said as she continued on her way toward him. He took a step down, still looking surprised and confused.

  “Hey, Charlene, what are you doing here?”

  “I came to get my blazer I left here the other night. You going in late today?”

  At this point Charlene was three-quarters of the way up the stairs, and Isaac had slowly taken a step or two downwards.

  “Uh ... Yeah, I was just waking up to get ready for work now ... I’ll grab your jacket for you,” he said as he turned back around toward the bedroom.

  “I’m already up here now, silly, I can get it,” she said as she completed the flight of stairs.

  Isaac stopped and turned back around. “Charlene,” he said.

  “Yes, baby?” she asked as she opened the bedroom door, brushing off his attempt to delay her. She still had to be at work, so she would stop and play on the way back out, she thought.

  Charlene walked straight over to the chair that her blazer was on and picked it up. She shook it out some and then put it on. She knew she had made the right decision to come get it; it just went so well with her outfit.

  “So what did you do after we spoke last night?” she asked Isaac as she walked over to the mirror to check herself out.

  As she pulled and tugged at her blazer she confirmed that she was ready to go. Just as she was turning away from the mirror she got a glimpse of Isaac’s bed in the reflection and it didn’t look empty. She spun around and couldn’t believe her eyes. Lacy was sitting in the bed looking like she had seen a ghost. She immediately turned to the door and Isaac was standing in the doorway, looking crazy his damn self. Charlene froze for a second and no one said anything. Then Charlene started to laugh.

  “Isn’t this funny?” she finally said out loud.

  From the looks on Lacy and Isaac’s faces, they didn’t know what to say but they both looked in fear of Charlene’s looney reaction.

  “Charlene, I swear it’s not what you think,” Isaac started.

  “I bet it’s not,” Charlene replied.

  “Babe ... I mean it—” he replied.

  “Lacy, what do you think I’m thinking?” she asked, interrupting Isaac.

  “Leen, I can only imagine ... But I’m sure it’s not what the reality is.”

  “Lacy, please give me the reality.”

  Lacy looked over at Isaac as if she didn’t know if she should or shouldn’t speak.

  “Oh, he runs this show, Lacy?” Charlene asked.

  Her calmness was throwing Lacy for a loop; it came off crazy and capable-of-murder-type behavior. She knew Charlene was mad, and had every right to be from the looks of things, but her reaction was weird. Not that it wasn’t obvious that Charlene was being sarcastic or cynical, but no yelling and no tears are not the expected reactions to this kind of early morning sight.

  “Charlene, Lacy was locked out last night so she crashed here, that’s all,” Isaac said.

  “Really, is that what happened?” Charlene asked Lacy directly.

  “Yes, Charlene, it is. I got here really late, ate something and we fell asleep watching a movie.”

  “Aww, isn’t that nice. What did you guys eat?”

  “Charlene, why won’t you talk to me?” Isaac asked Charlene finally, getting frustrated with her invisible-Isaac game.

  “Why should I? So you can say whatever I want to hear?” Charlene asked, finally losing her cool. She had held on to it for a record-breaking time, but listening to his attitude just brought all of hers right out.

  “What’s that mean?” he responded in a not-so-low tone.

  “It means I come over and find you in bed with some other chick, what do you think I want to hear from you? ... The typical—“it’s not what you think” line? Be real!! You couldn’t even come up with something better than that?” Charlene yelled. Before he could answer, she continued back in a calmer voice, “So, I figure I will talk to Lacy, she may have something better for me.”

  “Charlene, it’s the truth—” Isaac said.

  “I don’t doubt it. I just wanted to hear it from Lacy’s mouth.”

  “Nothing happened,” Lacy said. “As you see I’m still in the clothes I wore here last night.”

  Charlene looked and Lacy was in a shirt and some jeans, and looked like she hadn’t changed clothes. Still, she couldn’t just fall for that evidence that easily, or at least they couldn’t know that yet.

  “I see. OK, well, you guys carry on. I have to go to work,” Charlene said with a slight attitude as she exited the room.

  Isaac followed behind her.

  “Charlene, I really hope you don’t think that we were doing something here last night.”

  “I believe you. If you give your word, I’ll leave it at that.”

  “I give my word.”

  “OK, done.”

  Charlene’s tone was hard to decipher. If she was sincere, angry or sarcastic, she was hiding it well and intentionally.

  “I gotta run, talk to you later,” she said as she reached over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

  Isaac just stood there watching her, still kind of surprised it would be ending so amicably. He walked her to the door and out she went. It was hard to tell who was more confused—Charlene, who didn’t know what to believe, or Isaac, who barely knew what had just happened.

  Chapter 33

  Charlene wasn’t sure if she should make a big deal out of the Lacy situation but she chose not to for now. She decided that it did sound believable, and if it wasn’t for her jealousy of Lacy she probably wouldn’t have been so consumed by the other possibility. Since she knew that she had no real proof of anything other than Isaac’s suspicious behavior that morning and him not calling, she figured she would just save it for later. She knew the trump card had more value in her hand than out on the table. Not to mention she had a slipup of her own that she wasn’t sharing, so her conscience told her to let it go for now.

  They say when it rains it pours, and for some reason Charlene was having a hard time getting everything back on track like it was before the breakup. They had been trying their best to keep all their hidden feelings to themselves, and all the skeletons that had fallen out of their closets unmentioned and left where they fell. They just didn’t realize that some of it they didn’t have any control over. It was like she was Scrooge, and the Ghost of the Past was haunting her.

  Charlene and Isaac were walking through Cross County mall to shop for some maternity clothes for Charlene because she was growing by the second. They had separated momentarily when a somewhat-familiar face approached her. She looked at him, trying to jog her memory, and before she could she felt a swat on her behind. She jumped and let out a little yelp. Everything happened so quickly. Just as she remembered him, it seemed Isaac was making his way over after seeing the incident. She saw Isaac coming, but the guy didn’t.

  “Whatsup, baby?” the guy asked Charlene.

  Before she could answer, Isaac walked up.

  “Did you just grab my girl’s ass?” he asked.

  As soon as they made eye contact, the guy responded.

  “Oh, shit! Isaac?”

  Isaac looked back at him. “Kareem?”

  “Yeah, what’s up?” Kareem asked, looking genuinely excited to see Isaac and oblivious to the uncomfortable situation he had just created.

  “I’m good ... but, yo, Reem ... This is my fiancée, and you just smacked her behind.”

  “This is your fiancée?” he asked. “You wifed up Charlene, the Team Dream?”

  Charlene couldn’t believe Kareem was actually saying that to Isaac.

  “The Team Dream?” Isaac asked.

  “Yeah, the whole team, if you know what I mean ... She was like our cheerleader, but she was giving us more than just an A,” he said, laughing.

  Charlene felt like she was dreaming, and in an attempt to wake up she just walked off. Next thing she heard was a loud noise and a scuffle. Isaac had hauled off and hit the guy and the
y were on the ground fighting. Security rushed over and broke it up while Charlene just screamed and cried. She had tried to reach in and kick Kareem one good time, but with her pregnant belly and small frame she couldn’t do much more than that. Isaac had the best of the guy, anyway, but she wanted that kick for herself.

  Once the fight was broken up, they mumbled some words to each other.

  “You mad ’cause you trying to make our ho into your housewife,” Kareem yelled.

  Isaac just ignored him and walked away. The guy was still saying stuff.

  “She ain’t your girl, she’s all of ours. Any one of us can get that when we want.”

  A security guard was walking Kareem out and another was following behind Isaac.

  “Hey, Charlene. Let me just get one quick blow job for the road,” Kareem called out.

  Charlene ran up behind Isaac and followed him to the car. Isaac had held his tongue and ignored Kareem’s comments. She knew he was embarrassed, but she figured he couldn’t have been more embarrassed than she was. They both got in and just sat in silence for a bit. Isaac checked out his face in the mirror.

  “Are you OK?” she asked.

  “Am I OK?” he asked back. “No, I’m not. I just had to fight somebody I know because my fiancée fucked him and his whole team. No, I’m not OK,” he continued.

  “His whole team? He wasn’t no damn sports player. It’s just his way of being funny.”

  “I know he wasn’t a sports player, he means his whole crew, Charlene ... all his boys.”

  “Well, including you, I guess, because you almost let him—”

  “I almost let him what? Disrespect you? Is that what you were going to say?”

  Charlene didn’t reply.

  “I didn’t almost let him do anything, you disrespected yourself and then you let them disrespect you on top of it. I defended you.”

  Charlene didn’t even bother to argue, because she knew that Isaac was right. She just sat back in her seat and remained quiet. Isaac drove them home in complete silence, no music or anything. He almost wanted Charlene to say something, because he was still mad and ready for round two. It was senseless for her. Her reputation superceded her and was well known, so no explanation would clear her name. What the guy said to Isaac would forever stick in his head and she couldn’t have made it better. So she didn’t try. She sat back and was thankful that he didn’t start making her feel bad or asking any questions. As far as Isaac was concerned, he knew all he needed to know.

  Chapter 34

  Things weren’t any better for the next few days. Isaac had a chip on his shoulder, and Charlene was feeling too low to try to mend things. One of her worst nightmares had come true, but she tried not to let it break her down. She couldn’t blame Isaac for his attitude; it wasn’t something a man’s ego could take that easily. Then he had to go to work with a busted lip and scratch by his eye. All in all he wasn’t just brushing it off, and Charlene wondered if he blamed her more than he did Kareem.

  Charlene was just about tired of things unsaid so she decided to call him and try to have a real talk.

  “Hey, baby,” she said once he’d answered.

  “Hey,” he replied, not sounding all that happy to hear from her.

  “Isaac, we made a decision to make this work and I feel like we are giving up.”

  “What are you talking about, Charlene?”

  “I’m just saying, we don’t talk about things and confront our problems.”

  “I can’t talk about this right now.”

  “See, I’m not arguing. I just really think we need to air some things out. We are going to be married soon and we can’t live like this.”

  “What? What do we need to discuss, Charlene?”

  “Us. Me. The mistakes we have made.”

  “They’re done, we just have to move past them. No need crying over spilled milk.”

  “Well, we haven’t wiped all the milk up yet. What happened at the mall Saturday, I’m sorry about—”

  “It’s over with, Charlene.”

  “Are you embarrassed by me?” she asked.

  Isaac was obviously caught off guard. He didn’t expect that question and wasn’t sure what to answer.

  “A little bit,” he replied.

  Charlene’s heart dropped. She had asked the question but clearly wasn’t ready for an honest answer.

  “Oh ... OK,” she said. “Is it your friends?” she added.

  “I haven’t really told my friends, I guess because that’s not something you go around telling.”

  “You haven’t told any of your friends?” she asked.

  “I told Trice; and of course he thought it was something to be concerned with.”

  “Concerned with?”

  “Yeah, like if I could trust you and things like that.”

  “And do you?” she asked.

  “I’m not sure.”

  Charlene didn’t reply.

  “Not like that, Charlene ... but I can’t lie and say that what Kareem said didn’t sting.”

  “But you know better than him,” Charlene said.

  “Was anything he said a lie?” Isaac asked, like he had been dying to know since it happened.

  Charlene wanted to lie, but she kept telling herself she’d learned her lesson from that, and besides, she didn’t even know how to deny it.

  “I was cool with some of his friends, but of course he was exaggerating.”

  “Did you sleep with him before?”

  “Yeah ... Once or twice,” she said in a low voice.

  “Did you suck him off?” he asked.

  Charlene didn’t reply right away. She started to regret she’d wanted to have this conversation.

  “Yes,” she said with shame riddling her voice.

  “Did they call you Charlene the Team Dream?”

  “I don’t know what stupid things they used to say.”

  “Have you ever heard that name before at any time?” Isaac asked with frustration in his voice.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  “OK ... So what exactly did you want to talk about, Charlene?” Isaac asked, full of disgust.

  Charlene had actually almost forgotten. The conversation had gone so left she forgot what she’d called for. After a few more moments, she remembered.

  “I thought we should discuss this. If you can love me for the changed woman I have become or not.”

  “Of course I love you for who you are, I have so many doubts about who you were and if I really know who you are yet.”

  “Isaac, I understand. I just need you to trust me. I’m not proud of my ways when I was younger, but I was literally young and dumb. I’ve changed and I’ve grown, and I promise you know all there is to know about me ... this me. Things I’ve done in the past I would prefer to leave there because I’m not proud of it.”

  There was silence for a second.

  “I don’t need to know everything you have done in the past, and I don’t want to judge you because of it. You have to give me a bit of time to adjust to the new you.”

  “There is no new me,” Charlene defended.

  “Well, to me there is, because I’m learning new stuff out about you every time I turn around.”

  “Isaac, my heart can’t take another breakup, so let me know if you can handle it.”

  There was an uncomfortable silence.

  “I’m still asking myself that question, so you’re going to have to give me a little bit of time to get back to you.”

  “That’s fair,” she said, trying to keep her cool.

  Charlene figured if she wanted to separate who she was today from who she was in the past, she had to try to portray a mature, strong young woman.

  Once he agreed that there was no more to discuss, they hung up the phone. Charlene proceeded about her day. There were only a few weeks left before she would have to spend the rest of her pregnancy on bed rest, so she was hoping to have one last night out with Paige and Jasmine. She completed all of her errands a
nd everything else she had to do so that she could meet them at this new hot spot that had opened in Rochester.

  They all arrived at about a quarter to eight and they all looked quite amazing. Jasmine was dressed in a teal sweater dress with a big green belt, green and black boots and matching accessories. Her hair was swept up with some drop curls hanging low and she had light makeup on. Paige was dressed as stylish as ever, and looked absolutely flawless. Her pretty brown skin was accented with gold bronzer and a light gold eye shadow. She wore a brown fitted half sweater to accent her full breasts, with a tan tank underneath. Her jeans fit her just right, enough to show off her apple bottom. The tan boots she wore came up to the knee and tied at the top. They both looked like they had the perfect happy life. Charlene looked nice herself, except with her huge belly and pouty expression she didn’t look as perfect and happy. She wore a black baby doll shirt with wide-leg jeans and ballet shoes. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she had applied the right amount of makeup. Charlene looked naturally pretty and the pregnancy made her look cuter.

  They sat down and chatted for a while as they waited for their drinks to come. Charlene had ordered a Shirley Temple and the other ladies some fruity alcoholic beverages. They were excited to get out and get together, because it had been a while for all of them. They checked out the cuties and bopped their heads to the music, and for the first time in a while Charlene felt young again. She still had her whole life ahead of her, but she had almost forgotten that, what with all her recent drama in trying to keep the man that she for some reason thought was her last hope for happiness. Being out with her sister and friend reminded her that there was no last hope for her, not now and no time soon. She’d asked Isaac how he viewed her, but she should have been asking herself, she realized. Embarrassed by her old ways, she imagined that her life was over, and if Isaac couldn’t see beyond her past, then she couldn’t, and no other man would, either. But then she realized that was false and that other than the baby growing inside of her, there was nothing about the life she led that she couldn’t do over.