In His Eyes

by Nicole Hart

  The giant stood well over six feet tall, towering over Aaron, making him look small in comparison. He wore a black cowboy hat with a long sleeve shirt, and his cowboy boots stood toe to toe with Aaron’s designer dress shoes.

  “Well then, I’ll just stand right here while you make your exit, ma’am.” He folded his arms across his broad chest, glancing at me over his shoulder before turning his attention back to Aaron, who was frozen in place.

  “Thank you. I’d appreciate that,” I mumbled and scurried away from the two men, determined to get out of this parking lot quickly.

  I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder as I made my way to my car. The cowboy remained firmly in place but catching my glance, he gave me a nod. Aaron stayed frozen, fear covering his face, and I wanted to laugh. Finally, someone put him in his place and his true colors shined through.

  Coward.

  I unlocked my car and slid inside, starting the ignition as I buckled my seatbelt. I threw the car in reverse, backing out of the tight spot and hitting the gas. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw the two men still planted firmly in place.

  I couldn’t control the giggle that escaped my lips. I had to hold out hope that this was the last time I would ever be forced to see Aaron Frost. I was thankful he thought I was pathetic. I was glad that he didn’t think anyone would ever want me and I would be alone forever. The truth was, I’d rather be alone than be stuck with him for the rest of my life.

  But I knew the truth. I wasn’t alone. I had my Gracie and I had my new family. We didn’t share the same bloodline, but they were family in every way that counted.

  “Thank you, Jesus,” I mumbled into the air.

  The sound of my phone vibrating in my pocket startled me. I pulled it out, keeping my other hand on the wheel as I drove down the highway. I realized it was a text from Joshua and decided to take a quick peak.

  Joshua: I can’t stop thinking about your smile.

  I reread the text quickly and pressed my phone to my chest, waiting for my heart to slam it right out of my hand. My giggle turned to a full-blown laugh as his words replayed over and over in my mind. I didn’t deserve for someone like him to give me attention, but I couldn’t deny how good it felt.

  I enjoyed the butterflies that flailed around my stomach for the rest of the ride home.

  “THANK YOU SO much for offering to help me!” Vicky pulled me through the front door with Gracie’s legs clutched around my hip. The cold morning air bit my fingertips that held my pan of banana pudding.

  “Of course. It’s the least I could do.” The heat rolled over me as we walked through the front door, and I let out a sigh of relief. Gracie spotted Joey, the family pug, snoring next to the fireplace and immediately began to squirm out of my arms, determined to get to him.

  “Be nice, Gracie. Be nice,” I spoke sternly to Gracie as she waddled over to the dog.

  “I almost forgot, Happy Thanksgiving!” Vicky squealed and pulled me into a side hug, so as not to disturb my dish.

  “Happy Thanksgiving!” I repeated, unable to control the huge smile covering my face.

  “Here, I’ll put this in the fridge.” She grabbed the pan from my hand just as Madi bounced down the stairs.

  “I thought I heard you! There’s my Gracie-booboo!” She crouched down on her knees and pulled Gracie into her arms while Jack decided to join them.

  I listened to Gracie and Madi giggle while Madi waved me away. Taking that as my cue to join Vicky in the kitchen.

  “Alright, boss, put me to work.” I saluted Vicky as she rolled her eyes at me.

  “Okay, will you crumble the cornbread for the dressing?” She slid a pan of cornbread in my direction while she frosted a cake.

  “You mean the stuffing?” I glanced at her, washing my hands.

  “Girlfriend, you’re a Texan now, it’s dressing.” She giggled, shaking her head at me.

  “Got it, dressing.” I returned the shaking of my head.

  The dinging of the oven timer rang in the air as Vicky lifted her eyes upward and whispered, “Please, Lord, let it taste like my mom’s.” Then she bent over and pulled a pie out of the oven with perfectly golden crust and the scent of apples with a hint of cinnamon, filled the air.

  “That looks delicious.” I inhaled the sweet scent, my mouth beginning to salivate.

  “Hopefully it tastes as good as it looks. How dare my momma go and take her honeymoon on Thanksgiving.” She giggled and inspected the pie that was now sitting on a wire rack.

  “Is she having a blast?” I smiled, continuing to crumble the cornbread.

  “She is; it’s her first time really going on any kind of big trip. She said the beach is beautiful there. I’m just glad she’s enjoying herself...even if she did abandon me on my husband’s favorite holiday.”

  “At least you have me.” I bat my eyelashes at her, and she let out a boisterous laugh.

  “And I’m so, so thankful.” She reached over and squeezed my shoulders. “Now get back to work.”

  We both giggled and continued with our tasks for a few minutes in silence before Lee emerged from the back door, the smell of barbeque filling my senses.

  “What is that yummy smell?” I inhaled deeply.

  “Turkey.” he said proudly, pounding his fist against his chest in a caveman fashion.

  “I’m not following.” I stared between the two of them in confusion.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never had smoked turkey?” I shook my head before he continued. “Ah, I forgot you’re a northerner.”

  “Guilty.” I shrugged.

  “Well, down here we smoke turkeys.” He chuckled as Vicky handed him a glass of tea.

  “And deep fry them,” Vicky chimed in.

  “I’ve only had turkey cooked in the oven.” It was the little things about Texas that still managed to surprise me.

  “Ain’t nothin’ like a Texas Thanksgiving.” Lee rubbed his belly and started to snoop at the covered dishes on the counter.

  “Ah, nope.” She slapped his hand away from the aluminum foil and he gave her a light tap on the bottom.

  “Alright, I’m heading back out. Send Josh out here when he gets here!” he yelled over his shoulder before closing the door behind himself. I darted my head in Vicky’s direction who was staring intently at the cranberry sauce simmering on the stove top. I glared harder at her causing her to stare even more intently at the sauce, refusing to look in my direction.

  “Vicky?” I mumbled, biting the inside of my cheek.

  “Did I forget to mention that?” She feigned innocence and bat her own lashes this time.

  “You did.” I nodded my head, still staring at her.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy. It must have slipped my mind.” She gave me a devious grin.

  “You are such a liar.” I swatted her with a dish towel.

  “Look, I didn’t want you to back out if I told you. And you know good and well you probably would have.” She put her hands on her hips.

  “Not necessarily.” I tried to portray my own innocence.

  “You’re so full of it. I know you, Ryan. You would have backed out at the last minute, and you know it.” She stared, waiting for my reply.

  “You’re probably right,” I confessed.

  “I know I’m right. This way, you’re stuck. And it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ll be alone with him. My aunt and uncle are coming over, and my brother is coming and bringing his new fiancé.” She rolled her eyes when the last word left her lips and I couldn’t help but giggle at her annoyance with her future sister-in-law.

  “He just makes me so nervous,” I admitted, just as the doorbell rang. My eyes got wide, and Vicky tried to hide her smile under a dish towel she was holding.

  I let out a deep breath, which was shaky, as I focused on crumbling the already miniscule bits of bread at my hands. I glanced down at the dark jeans and black sweater I was wearing. I was grateful that since it was a holiday, I’d taken the
time to do my makeup and curl the ends of my hair, but I would have paid even closer attention to my appearance had I known that I would see Joshua today.

  “Don’t stress, Ryan. You look beautiful,” Vicky assured me, as if reading my mind, and gave me a playful swat on the behind with her towel before retreating from the kitchen.

  Part of me wanted to take the opportunity to run. I tried to decide how I could grab Gracie and dart out the door without Joshua seeing me. I wasn’t prepared for this.

  But before I got the chance to put my plan into action, I felt him.

  His presence.

  His closeness.

  His warmth.

  My hands froze as I felt him draw closer. I glanced out of the corner of my eye, unable to move my head in his direction. With a quick glance, I saw we were dressed almost matching, both in dark jeans and a black shirt. He drew closer, and the scent of his cologne filled my senses. It was a woodsy smell, deep sandalwood with just a hint of citrus. I closed my eyes and let the delicious scent surround me. His hand grazed my side as he pressed his lips to my temple, softly but so brief, before speaking quietly in my ear.

  “It’s good to see you, Ryan. You look beautiful.” His voice caused a shiver up my spine as he pulled away too suddenly for my liking.

  “It’s good to see you too.” I turned to face him and couldn’t help but swoon at the beauty that stood before me. The light scruff on his face covered his dimple, and the deep hue in his eyes glistened.

  “I don’t want to keep you, I know Vicky has you busy. But I want to talk to you in a bit, okay?” He gave me a quick wink before pulling further away from me.

  “Kay,” I mumbled, my voice taking on a strange rasp. He replied with a simple grin, displaying his perfect smile before making his way out the back door.

  I let out a deep breath when I heard the door close behind him.

  “Oh my,” I whispered to myself.

  “Ya okay there, hon?” Vicky smiled, appearing in the kitchen.

  I shook my head, slightly and touched my temple where his lips were, feeling the heat radiating down my cheeks into my neck. This feeling, the first time his lips touched my skin, would now be scorched into my psyche, especially if it were the last time.

  “Just breathe, Ryan. It’s okay to feel something.” She gave me an elbow nudge. I couldn’t speak, so I just shook my head, unsure if I believed her or not.

  I had so much baggage, and he was way too perfect for someone like me.

  “THAT WAS THE best food I’ve ever had in my life.” Joshua arched his back and rubbed his hand over his flat stomach. I tried not to stare, especially since he’d chosen a seat right next to me, it would have been more than obvious.

  “That’s what you said last year.” Vicky brushed away his compliment as she stood from the table.

  “Honey, when he’s right, he’s right. At least the man has good taste.” Lee smiled, keeping most of his attention on the assortment of slices of pie sitting on the plate in front of him.

  “He definitely has good taste.” Vicky gave me a quick wink before turning her attention to Gracie, who was on the other side of me. She was sitting in a high chair, popping mini marshmallows in her mouth. She’d had a few bites of turkey and decided she was more interested in the candied yams. Luckily, more of the food ended up in her mouth instead of the floor, which was the norm. It’s like she knew that she needed to be on her best behavior today. She was mastering it beautifully, and I was so grateful.

  “The food was great, sis.” Alex, Vicky’s brother, let out a sigh and stood to his feet. “Do you need some help cleaning up?” he asked.

  “That’d be—” Vicky began before Angela, Alex’s fiancé, spoke up.

  “Actually, let’s go for a walk, baby.” Her high-pitched voice resembled nails on a chalk board. I scolded myself for the comparison, but it really was almost impossible not to. “I need to get my steps in; I’ve been super lazy today.” She tapped the oversized hot pink fitness tracker she wore around her wrist. Then she tossed her used napkin over her half-eaten plate of food and rose to her feet. She slid her hot pink nails down her matching hot pink jump suit before pulling a tube of lip gloss from her pocket. She began to apply the shiny makeup over her lips as she walked away from the table. I glanced at Vicky who was gripping a fork between her fist in a weapon style fashion.

  “Sure, baby.” Alex shrugged his shoulders at Vicky, ignoring her annoyance at his future wife and followed behind her.

  I forced the giggle that was threatening to escape my lips way down deep and had to clear my throat to help it along.

  “I’ll help you clean up!” I chimed in, still fighting back my laughter. Luckily, my voice drew Vicky out of attack mode and she looked at me, her eyes wide.

  “Can you believe her?” she mouthed, before rolling her eyes.

  “We can handle it,” I whispered, giving her a quick wink and began gathering my plate and glass.

  “I’ll help too.” Joshua stood, and his broad shoulder brushed against me, as he leaned forward to get his own arm load of dishes. A tiny shiver ran up my spine from his touch, and I had to force myself to let out my breath.

  “Y’all are great. Thank you.” She smiled, but I could still see the annoyance on her face. She tried to hide it, but it was there.

  A few minutes later, Joshua and I oversaw loading the dishwasher as Vicky stayed in the dining room, covering the leftovers that were still displayed on her buffet table. Lee had retreated to his grill outside and the rest of the company had made their way into the living room. Gracie had fallen asleep for her afternoon nap a few seconds after I got her cleaned up and was cozy on the sofa next to Madi, who had all her attention on the screen of her phone.

  We were cleaning in silence for a few minutes, but I could feel Joshua’s need to speak. His body was rigid, and I noticed the hard line of his jaw each time I would sneak a peak in his direction.

  “Are you ever going to go out on a date with me again? On purpose, I mean?” He continued to rinse a plate before handing it to me. We stood for a moment, eyes locked, each of us with a grip on either side of the plate.

  “What do you mean?” I pulled the plate from his grasp, gave him a grin, and slid in onto the dishwasher rack.

  “Don’t do that!” He leaned against the sink and folded his arms across his broad chest, his fitted shirt pressed against him.

  “Do what?” I gave him a confused look.

  “Act all cute and avoid my question.” He raised his brow and gave me a knowing look.

  “I don’t do that.” I tried to hide my grin, turning my eyes downward and staring at the stack of dishes.

  “Sure you do, all the time.” He unfolded his arms and took a few steps around the dishwasher until he was standing directly in front of me and placed his hand on my waist.

  “I know I’m not imagining this connection between us, and I know you feel it too.”

  He wasn’t imagining it, and I did feel it. But it was so much more complicated than that. I had a child. I was broken and unworthy of someone like him. He was too pure for my baggage. He deserved someone who was...different than me.

  “This is just hard to me,” I admitted. And it was. Hard to fight my attraction to him. Hard to keep reminding myself that I wasn’t good enough for someone like him. Hard to stop myself from falling for him. Because in the end, it would only hurt worse.

  “It doesn’t have to be, Ryan.” He bit his bottom lip briefly, and I could see the concern on his face. It gutted me.

  “There’s just so much you don’t know, Joshua.” His name rolled from my lips like I could say it every day for the rest of my life.

  “But I want to know. I want to learn everything about you.” He took another small step forward until our bodies were almost touching. Almost. My breathing began to quicken, and my insides began to tremble from his closeness.

  “It’s complicated. My life is complicated.” I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I got angry with mys
elf in an instant as I watched his concern turn to worry.

  “What if complicated doesn’t bother me?” He ran his other hand across my cheek.

  “But it should. It really should.” I swallowed, forcing the lump in my throat to make its exit.

  “Why don’t you leave that decision up to me?” I watched as his eyes wavered from my lips to my eyes and back up again. He wanted to kiss me, I could feel it.

  “Oh, sorry.” Madi’s voice startled me, causing me to jump, and Joshua backed up just a bit. I glanced around his frame and saw Gracie in her arms.

  “Hey, baby!” I smiled at Gracie, who was still half asleep, but started to reach for me as soon as we made eye contact. I scooted around Joshua, giving him a small smile before turning my attention to my daughter.

  “Did you have a good nap?” I asked her, cradling her against me as she nuzzled into me.

  “I tried to get her back to sleep, but she kept asking for you.” She smiled, apologetically, and I knew she felt guilty for interrupting us.

  “Madi, honey, it’s totally fine.” I gave her a smile and hoped she could read my thoughts. She gave me a nod and then turned on her heel, leaving just the three of us in the kitchen.

  “She loves her mama,” Joshua spoke from behind me, and I felt his presence draw closer to me. Gracie lifted her head and began to giggle.

  Out of curiosity, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Joshua making faces at her. Her quiet giggles becoming boisterous laughs. Her chuckle was infectious, and within a few seconds all three of us were laughing.

  The deep chuckle and the contrasting high pitched giggle on either side of me caused my chest to tighten. I couldn’t explain the feeling swirling around in my body, and the overwhelming urge to cry through my laughter.

  You are worthy.

  The quiet whisper caused an immediate tear to slide down my cheek. I brushed it away without anyone noticing and tried to keep the others at bay.

  I wanted to be worthy. I really did.