Withdrawn: Prequel to Reckless Abandonment

by K. Pinson

  “She stayed over at my house officer.” My admission doesn’t seem to make things better I realize as I see him raise his eyebrow and look between us. “We’ve been best friends since we were kids.” He nods his head at my words.

  “Well don’t go too far… miss?” He questions for her name.

  “Miss Jenkins. Brynn.” She responds to him curtly.

  “Right, Miss Jenkins. We will be going through now to find any survivors. Don’t lose hope just yet.” He tries to reassure her but I know hope has been lost from her. I don’t tell him that, though. She forces a small smile but I can tell she is ready for a breakdown. The deputy walks over to his mom and begins to talk with them so I decide now would be a good time to try to find Betty in the crowd and see if she was able to reach my mom. Honestly, I’m not sure how to handle any of this now. Especially after all the emotions, I’m still feeling the way last night played out. I want my mom.

  We find her easily in the crowd, she’s a short woman but somehow stands out.

  “Did you talk to her?” I ask when we reach her.

  “Yes. She’s on her way home.” She responds. I let out a massive sigh. I’m relieved that I won’t have to deal with this alone. Truthfully, I don’t know how.

  “We should probably try to get ahold of Ariana,” I say quietly. I know that Brynn and she haven't been speaking much lately but her sister has a right to know. Plus, I think Brynn would be better off having her here to help make it through this.

  Betty hands Brynn her phone and she dials without a word. There is so much commotion I usher us away from the crowd. We walk back over to my trailer and up on the porch. It isn’t much difference but a little better. Betty follows us and sits on the bottom of the stairs.

  “Ari…” I hear Brynn say. I hold my breath. I don’t have any siblings but I can’t imagine having this conversation with anyone over the phone.

  “It’s the house…it caught fire…gone.” Words shoot out of Brynn’s mouth like fire. She’s speed talking, panicked.

  “Yes, please. “I hear her say before she hangs up the phone and walks it back down the steps to Betty.

  “Will you kids be alright over here until your mom gets back?” She asks the both of us but is mostly looking at me. I nod my head.

  “Okay I’m going to go find Bruce but I won’t be far if you need me.” She responds.

  “But the police officer said not to go far,” Brynn says in an unsure tone.

  “I’ll take care of him. Just sit here with, Cohen, dear girl. Everything will be ok, I promise.” Betty tells her before turning back around and disappearing among the bystanders.

  Brynn and I sit on the porch in silence until my mom arrives. I’m sure she’s trying to process her emotions. I think it’s clear at this point that the outlook isn’t looking good. I may tend to look on the bright side of things but this moment isn’t one of those times. I wonder if she’s secretly happy. I know that’s cruel to even say but her mother was awful. In fact, she wasn’t much of a mother at all. I wish I could strip her of that title. I don’t let Brynn know what I’m thinking. After all, you can’t choose who your parents are. I know she still loves her anyway. Instead, I wrap my arm around her shoulder and cradle her head under my chin. The sound of her quietly sobbing breaks my heart. I can feel her body shaking against my chest. I attempt to comfort her without words. I just don’t really know what to say.

  When my mom finally gets to us, she wraps us both in her arms. She ushers us inside and makes a few sandwiches. She doesn’t say a lot as she prepares the food. The questions remain heavy in the air and I know she wants to ask them but sometimes moms don’t even know the best way to approach these types of situations.

  I eat in silence, starving, but Brynn only picks a few pieces of the bread off before pushing the plate away. She races to the bathroom and I can hear her releasing the contents of her storm. I begin to stand, but my mom urges me back into my chair.

  “I’ll go. Eat.” She says in a calm tone. She walks back to the bathroom and closes the door behind her. They are in there for about ten minutes before coming out. Mom grabs Brynn’s plate, tossing the remnants in the trash and the plate into the sink. Brynn sits back at the table and Mom follows suit, sitting next to her. I finish my sandwich and then get up and place it in the sink.

  “Come sit, Cohen,” Mom says. I return to my chair.

  “What happened?” She questions both Brynn and me gently.

  “There was a fire,” Brynn responds, stating the obvious. I don’t think she knows how to approach this.

  “We don’t know what happened Mom.” That’s the truth. I know Mom isn’t going to be happy with Brynn staying over until I can explain why but I’m not sure if this is the right time.

  “Was anyone in your house Brynn?” Mom prods a little more.

  “I think so. I think my mom was and her boyfriend, too.” She responds quietly, tears pricking her eyes. “They didn’t make it out.” The tears begin to fall now.

  “I’m so sorry Brynn.” My mom responds. I can tell that even she is at a loss for words. Before anything else is said, a knock sounds at the door. I get up, not wanting to sit anymore and go to answer it. Ariana stands on the other side. She doesn’t look sad but she looks worried.

  “Is my sister here?” She questions.

  “Yes, come on in,” I respond and turn around to show her. She steps in, closing the door behind her and races over to Brynn. She throws her arms around her and they both break down in front of us. This is the most genuine I’ve ever seen Brynn.

  “Don’t let them take me.” I hear Brynn whisper to Ariana.

  “Never,” Ariana says loud enough for all of us to hear.

  “You girls are welcome to stay here for as long as you need.” My mom responds even though they weren’t speaking directly to her. They pull away from each other and look up at my mom.

  “Thank you. But I have a place, in town above the tattoo shop. We will be okay.” Ariana responds proudly. I’m proud of her too.

  “I have no doubt about that.” My mom says and gives a small smile. The air somehow feels lighter, like everything might be okay.

  …

  We had found out later that day that Brynn and Ariana’s mom had in fact passed away in the fire. Her remains were found hours later underneath the rubble. The man she had been with was found also. I overheard the police telling my mom that he was a convicted rapist and pedophile, it made me sick to think about what he could have done to Brynn. What all the sick guys that have been in and out of her mom’s life have probably done to Ariana. We never talked about the day again, Brynn and me.

  Brynn did have to stay with a foster family while everything in the court system was worked out. We didn’t get to see each other much as she had to move a few towns over and I didn’t have a vehicle but we did talk on the phone. She was homeschooled during that time and missed out on homecoming. I wasn’t upset that she couldn’t go with Johnny Devon but I stayed home that night wishing she could have gone with me. They couldn’t find her dad in any records on file and she’s never known any information about it so her sister was the next in line. Ariana had to work tirelessly to prove to the courts that she was fit to become Brynn’s guardian. But she passed the tests with flying colors. I truly had no doubt in my mind that she would. After a year, they were reunited for good.

  Surprisingly enough their mother had a pretty hefty life insurance policy on herself and the girls entitled to all of it. They could pay for her brief services, nothing special for a monster, and had plenty of money to live from. Brynn moved in with Ariana above the tattoo parlor. It wasn’t easy for them at first to transition from a sister/sister relationship to one of a parent/child. Brynn was still acting out a bit and Ariana worked many hours to try to become somebody that their mother never was for her. She put her all into her tattoo craft. She was truly amazing at it.

  The two years that were to follow this was just a downhill cycle ultimately leading to th
e undoing of Brynn. Things were comfortable and happy at first between the two of them. But Brynn became consumed by guilt and grief as Ariana struggled to understand her. Brynn loses herself and that causes her to become selfish. She stops seeing Ariana as a hero and instead gains resentment for the things she’s done to protect her. Despite all of that, Ariana stand firm by her side. She refuses to see Brynn fail. She sees her through, all the way to graduation day.

  Chapter 4

  Cohen Age 18

  I’m sitting in the hot auditorium, sweating to death. I look across the room and my eyes lock on hers. They always do. This year has been rocky for our friendship. We had originally planned to walk together, grab our diplomas and celebrate. Unfortunately, that isn’t happening. I’m sitting next to my friend Pete, more of an acquaintance really and she’s sitting with Kelly, captain of the cheerleading squad. Ever since she started dating her new flavor of the week, things have changed between us. He doesn’t like our relationship apparently. Like I give a fuck what that dude likes. We’ve been friends forever. I’m pissed off that she’d throw all that away over some loser that still lives in his mom’s basement at age thirty. Not to mention the twelve-year age difference. Chad is his name. I fucking hate Chad. In fact, fuck Chad.

  I look away from her and search around to see if I can spot him instead. After doing a few laps around the place with my eyes, I don’t find him. When they finally call my name, I rise and can hear Mom screaming loudest of all. This moment is bittersweet for me. I’ve worked hard to get here, it just isn’t the happy memory I had imagined. Instead of dwelling on what I can’t change, I plaster my infamous shit eating grin on my face and make my way up the aisle. I grab the diploma, give my principal a handshake and turn to wink at the crowd. Everyone bursts out laughing. It’s a proud moment. I step off the stage and return to my seat.

  I’ve come a long way in a couple of years. I started my freshman year being the nerdiest kid in my class. I had just gone through puberty, late bloomer and girls wanted nothing to do with me. The artist type doesn’t seem all that appealing to girls when you’re young. However, draw a beautiful woman now and hand her the portrait; she’ll be eating out of the palm of your hand.

  I see life from a different eye. I’ve been told it is an attractive quality in a man. I’ve dated on and off but nobody has seemed to stick thus far. I can’t say it’s from lack of trying. They’ve all been amazing girls but none compare. When Brynn gets called I’m shaken back to reality. I clap and cheer for her as loud as possible. Regardless of what we are going through, I’ll always care for her.

  After graduation, Mom and I go out to dinner. It’s just the two of us and it’s a relief to not feel any pressure to act like a different person. She loves the nerdy old me just as much as the new and improved. I pull her chair out when she goes to sit and push it in. I take a seat directly across from her. The place is semi-fancy and the food here is delicious or so I’ve heard. This is our first time, but we’ve been told from close friends that it is amazing. I decide to get the surf and turf. A nice juicy steak should hit the spot. Mom chooses a fried chicken salad. I may have to try a bite or two of hers as well. My stomach starts to growl just thinking about it. We place our orders and turn to easy conversation.

  “I’m so proud of you, Son.” She tells me. I already know that. She tells me every day. She always has.

  “Thank you, Mom. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you.” I smile at her. She lifts her glass of water in a toast and I laugh but humor her and clink her glass with mine.

  “So, any fun plans?” She questions enthusiastically.

  “For tonight or long-term?” I’m not ready to talk about long-term plans just yet.

  Applying for art school was my top priority but instead, I’ve been thinking about taking an apprenticeship underneath Ariana at the tattoo parlor. I haven’t let Mom know this quite yet. I’m not ready to leave this town or Brynn behind. I feel compelled to give it one last-ditch effort. Now that school is over and the pressure is off, maybe things will be different.

  “For tonight, Son.” She responds with a laugh and I feel instant relief.

  “Ah. I’m not a hundred percent sure yet. There’s a big party going on down by the beach. I also promised Ariana I’d swing by. She said she’s throwing a surprise shindig at the tattoo parlor for Brynn.” I had debated about attending this party for weeks.

  Lately, Ariana and I have spoken more than we ever have in the past. She’s not exactly easy to talk to normally, but we have a common topic. She's just as worried about Brynn as I am. It seems easier to be relatable to someone when you both love the same person.

  “I think you should go to Ariana’s. I’m sure there will be beach parties all summer and then after that, you’re out of here!” She sounds excited but also nervous.

  A small tear slides down her cheek but she quickly wipes it away. I don’t respond to her statement. I just don’t want to get into it with her tonight. I’ll let her know my plans in a week or so when my apprenticeship starts.

  “Yeah, I think I’m going to at least make an appearance.” She nods and smiles. Our food arrives and we eat in silence.

  After we’ve finished, she kisses me goodbye and heads off to work. That doesn’t surprise me much. She’s caught up a lot but still has some debt even all these years later from the old man’s gambling issues. We are just fortunate that we never faced any type of troubles from the sharks he had taken out loans with. Mom planned with all of them and they’ve been surprisingly understanding. I guess everything isn’t always like it is in books and movies.

  I’m excited to have some income this summer and hopefully can help her out some. I’d love to get her into a house with a nice size backyard where she can plant flowers and grow a garden. She would love that. Happy Endings Resorts has been our home throughout the years, but I think it is time to move on to the next phase.

  I walk her inside and wave as she drives away in the same Taurus she’s had since I was eight. I mount my motorbike and head home to change. When I pull into Happy Endings, I find it fairly abandoned. I know it’ll be filled with occupants soon though with the summer coming. I always look forward to that time of the year. People watching is one of my favorite past times and just really getting to see all walks of life.

  I park my bike out front and glance across the street. It has been almost three years and the lot still lies vacant. The ash is gone but the memory of what was remains. It is just a slab of charred concrete now with weeds growing around the edges. Past times flood my mind as I walk up to our trailer. The laughter of my childhood surrounds me. I feel the butterflies in my stomach all over again from the first time I laid eyes on Brynn. I can hear the correction of my mom shaping me to be the man I am today.

  I enter my house and walk back to my bedroom. I haven’t changed much about it decor wise. The walls are still filled with drawings I’ve done and posters of different shows I’ve been to. I don’t know why I’m feeling so nostalgic today. It could be because I’m just not sure where life is going to go from here. Everything is going to change and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. I’ve always been a creature of habit. Life doesn’t bend to that state of mind though. You either change the way your thought process works or else you drown among the waves of inconsistency. Though it may be easier to stay still where you’re comfortable, if you’re not living you are dying.

  I change out of my dress clothes and opt for a more comfortable look for the evening. I have no idea how it is going to play out. I’m hoping Brynn doesn’t react too poorly to me showing up for her surprise party. We didn’t exactly have a falling out but more of a falling under. I slipped under the radar to avoid her wrath. Her mood swings give me whiplash. She’s never been very predictable. I used to find that trait extremely attractive. Now it just gets frustrating. I know that not showing up will probably have a long-term effect worse than if I do. So, my mind is already made up.

  I throw on my dark wash fad
ed jeans, a black V-neck tee, and my trusty black converse. I look in the mirror and tousled my dark hair with my hands. It’s getting a bit shaggy and I need a trim but no time for that today. I grab my leather jacket for when it gets chilly down by the beach tonight. When I see what time, it is, I rush out the door. Being late is a character trait that I have come by honestly, but I can't arrive late tonight. The wrath of Ariana is much worse than Brynn. I lock up behind me and make a good time to her place. Thankfully, the town isn’t that far away.

  I see a lot of familiar cars out front but decide to park around the back. I’d hate for her to see my bike and instantly decide to drive away. When I walk in I’m greeted with a small hug by Ariana but she looks extremely uncomfortable. I come from a family of huggers so it is second nature to me but I’ve never pushed the issue with her. I’ve known her for the same length of time as Brynn but truthfully don’t know much about her as a person. She keeps a lot to herself.

  “You look beautiful tonight.” Comes rushing out of my mouth before I can stop it.

  She looks different from what I’m used to. Most of the time when I see her, she doesn’t seem to put a lot of work into her appearance or clothes. Not that it makes her unattractive but I’ve never really seen her in that light before. Tonight, she has black sequined dress on and her hair in large movie star like curls. She even has some makeup on which is new. Her eyes have a smoky black shade lining the lid which compliments her dark eyes and seems to make them pop. Her tanned skin is blemish free and smooth. Her full lips lined with a bright shade of red. She has the best lips I’ve ever seen. Though Brynn is beautiful when she’s natural. She loves the makeup look, too. She’s a girly girl. Ariana is the opposite of that but I’m enjoying the confidence she seems to exhume tonight.