A Love Like This

by Maria Duffy

  ‘I bagsy first go.’ Terry Dillon was in second year and fancied himself as the leader of the little group. William was happy to let him take on the role because he was a brilliant football player and was teaching him everything he knew.

  ‘Me second,’ said Ryan, a quiet boy who’d latched on to William from the first day of secondary school.

  ‘I’m just happy not to have to go home yet,’ said Jack, William’s best friend.

  They chatted animatedly about the Irish football team during the ten-minute walk home and debated who was the better player, Roy Keane or Robbie Keane.

  ‘I wonder if any of us will ever play for Ireland,’ said William, imagining the glory of stepping out onto the pitch in Lansdowne Road to thousands of fans screaming his name.

  ‘I think you’re in with a shot, William.’

  William’s head shot around to look at Terry. ‘You really think so?’

  ‘Yeah. The Irish tennis team!’

  Everyone laughed and William joined in but he wasn’t laughing on the inside. He hated his parents for making him play tennis. They loved mingling with the elite in their posh tennis club, and being able to say their son was a star player in the club earned them lots of respect. And why wouldn’t he be a star player? If they allowed him the same amount of time for football lessons as they did tennis lessons, they’d be chasing him for the Irish football team as soon as he was the right age.

  ‘Right, if Nan asks, we’re going up to my room to do a project, okay? We can grab something to eat first and bring it up with us.’ He turned the key in the door and the four of them walked inside. Shit! He almost broke his neck as he stepped onto the wet floor. He’d forgotten it was Thursday – cleaning day.

  ‘Take off your shoes at the door, lads,’ he said, stepping out of his. ‘The floor’s just been washed.’

  The cleaning girl stepped out of the downstairs bathroom with a bucket of water and nodded her thanks to him. She was a nice girl. William hadn’t spoken to her much but he knew her name was Tina. He always felt awkward about somebody else coming to clean his house. He felt they should be doing it themselves. But when he’d brought up the subject with his mother, she’d convinced him that those cleaning girls were quite happy to clean to earn money. That’s the way the world goes around, she’d said. And so he’d learned to accept it but it didn’t stop him feeling embarrassed to see her cleaning and he had to fight the urge to ask her if she needed help.

  ‘Well, I’m not getting my socks wet for nobody,’ said Jack, starting to walk across the floor in his mucky shoes. ‘Isn’t that what cleaners are for?’

  William grabbed a hold of his shirt and pulled him back. ‘Don’t be an idiot, Jack. She’s already washed it once.’

  ‘Well, then she won’t mind doing it again, will she?’

  William noticed the look of despair on the cleaner’s face and felt mortified. ‘Get out, Jack!’

  ‘Wh– what?’ Jack stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at his friend.

  ‘I said get out! Look at the dirty marks you’ve made on the floor.’

  ‘You can’t be serious …?’

  William was shaking. He liked Tina and hated how Jack was treating her.

  ‘It’s okay, William,’ said Tina. ‘I’ll just wipe over it. It won’t take me a minute.’

  ‘Come on! Are you going to feed us before this Playstation tournament?’ Jack headed into the kitchen with the other boys, ignoring William’s request for him to leave.

  William was too embarrassed to say any more so he nodded at Tina and followed. He suddenly didn’t feel like playing video games. He was in a bad mood. Jack was great fun and a brilliant friend but sometimes William hated him. He was cocky and self-assured and never let anybody get in the way of what he wanted. He was always telling William how he envied him being rich but William would swap with him in a heartbeat. Material things didn’t mean anything to him and one day he’d leave it all behind and head off into the world. But for now, he’d have to accept how things were.

  ‘Right,’ he said, fixing a smile onto his face. ‘Let’s get this game underway.’

  * * *

  Donna sat on the bus, relieved Tina had let her go home early. She closed her eyes and thought about the events of the last few hours. It had been an eye-opener for her. She’d wanted to make it up to Tina so she hadn’t balked at wearing the horrible yellow rubber gloves or refused when Tina had asked her to unblock the toilet. But what a disgusting, rotten job! And to make it worse, the old lady in the house had spoken to them as though they were the lowest form of humanity.

  ‘You can start by cleaning that kitchen,’ she’d said, standing with her hands on her hips. ‘And then all the bathrooms need a good scrubbing. Snap, snap. Time is ticking.’

  Donna had wanted to say something to her but the look on Tina’s face had warned her against it.

  ‘We just have to suck it up and do it,’ Tina whispered. ‘It pays the bills.’

  Donna couldn’t believe the amount of work they’d had to do for a measly four pounds an hour. She could have a wallet whipped out of someone’s pocket in a matter of seconds and get twenty or thirty pounds out of it. She understood that Tina needed to work to earn some money but it was a damn hard way to earn it.

  But at least the day hadn’t been a waste of time. It had made her rethink a lot of things. She was going to really try hard at school and make Tina proud. She was going to make something of herself and get them out of the horrible situation they were in. She wouldn’t resort to pickpocketing again but she certainly wouldn’t be cleaning for a living.

  The steady drone of the engine was making her sleepy and she began to relax. She felt sorry that Tina still had another hour or so left to clean but she was glad she was out of it. She had a few pounds on her so maybe she’d stop off at the shop and buy the makings of a cake. Donna loved to bake and Tina loved testing her various recipes. Tonight was definitely a chocolate night. She had a recipe that Lexie’s granny had given her for a chocolate sponge so she’d give that a try. Suddenly things began to look better. There was nothing like a bit of baking to cheer a girl up!

  Chapter 5

  October 2004

  Donna grabbed the jeans that she’d thrown on her bed the night before and stepped into them. She wrinkled her nose as she sniffed last night’s T-shirt and discarded it on the floor before managing to lay her hands on a clean one. She was due in work early this morning because she had a birthday cake to have ready for ten but there was something she had to do first. And she was dreading it.

  She stuck a piece of bread in the toaster and went in search of a bobbin to tie up her unruly red hair. At least she never bothered with make-up. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than having to spend hours in front of a mirror every morning as most of her friends did. They went to great lengths to conceal every spot and blemish whereas she had a full face of freckles but didn’t give a toss.

  She quickly buttered the toast and poured herself a glass of milk. Six o’clock. It was funny how she used to hate early mornings when she was in school. She used to always roll out of bed at the very last minute to get herself to school and at weekends she’d sleep until lunch time. But now that she was doing a job she loved, this was her favourite part of the day.

  Wiping the crumbs from her top, she ran upstairs to brush her teeth. There wasn’t a sound from her mother’s room, which wasn’t surprising, but she could hear Tina stirring. Her sister was working full-time now for a company of corporate cleaners and worked tirelessly to bring in much-needed money to the household. She usually started her shifts around eight so would often be just getting up as Donna was leaving. Donna tiptoed back downstairs and, grabbing her denim jacket from the banister, was out the door in a flash.

  She hopped over the railings separating her house from Lexie’s and tapped on the door. She didn’t have much time to spare, which was just as well, because she didn’t want to go to work looking like a blubbering mess. Within
seconds the door was swung open and Lexie stood there with a huge smile on her face.

  ‘Donna! I wondered if you’d come. Come in, come in. I’m just trying to fit Granny’s sandwiches into my hand luggage. Along with the crisps and crackers and the brownies she made. I think someone forgot to tell her that they’ve invented shops in airports now!’

  Donna giggled as she stepped inside and followed her friend into the living room. ‘Is that it? Is that all you’re taking?’

  ‘Yep,’ said Lexie, nodding towards the large, bulging rucksack and smaller one beside it. ‘There’s no point in taking suitcases of stuff when I’ll be travelling around.’

  Tears sprung to Donna’s eyes and she fought hard to conceal them.

  ‘Ah come on, Donna. Don’t be upset. We’ll keep in touch and I’m still going to keep nagging you to join me.’

  ‘You know I can’t, Lexie.’

  ‘You can’t or you won’t?’

  Donna wiped her eyes. ‘I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to leave Tina here with Mam. And you know that she’s the one who wants to travel. I’m more of a home bird.’

  ‘Well, maybe the two of you should come over. Come for a month or two and see if you like it. Go on – live a little.’

  ‘Maybe if things were different. Oh, Lexie, I’m going to miss you so much.’ She didn’t hold back the tears this time. She flung her arms around her friend and clung onto her, her shoulders rising and falling from the sobs.

  It wouldn’t have been so bad if Lexie was just going to London or even Europe. Somewhere that wouldn’t take more than a few hours to get to. But the fact that she was going to Perth in Australia – the other side of the world – was almost too much for Donna to bear. But Lexie deserved some happiness and Donna wasn’t going to spoil it for her.

  ‘Right,’ said Donna, pulling away from the embrace and wiping her tears with her sleeve. ‘I’m just a stupid softie. You know me – I’d cry at the drop of a hat.’

  Lexie watched her carefully. ‘You’ll get used to not having me around. And you still have Tina. Do you know what I’d do to have a sister like that?’

  Donna smiled. ‘I know. She’s great, isn’t she? Now go on. Go and finish your packing. I’ll be late for work if I don’t get a move on.’

  ‘That’s more like it,’ beamed Lexie. ‘And I’ll try and get my hands on some fabulous Aussie recipes for your collection – once you promise to make them for me when I see you again.’

  ‘Deal!’

  Lexie walked her to the door and they hugged again – but more briefly this time. Donna was just going to have to get used to not having her best friend around. To not being able to run next door and cry when her mother came home senseless drunk or not being able to lie on Lexie’s bed beside her, discussing which pop stars were the sexiest and who they planned to marry.

  She tried to fight the tears as she headed to the bus stop. She always knew Lexie would spread her wings and fly as soon as she could. She’d obviously inherited the appetite for travel from her parents. Donna just hoped she hadn’t inherited their nonchalance because she couldn’t bear the thought of not having her friend in her life.

  Half an hour later she arrived at the city-centre bakery where she worked. As soon as she walked in the door and the waft of freshly made pastries hit her nose, she felt relaxed. This was where she felt happiest. In fact, Tina often said that the shop had saved her. Donna had been a restless teenager, always in some sort of trouble, whether it was fighting with her teachers or failing her exams. But a gentle push from Tina a couple of years ago to find a job had led her to the shop and she’d been working part time there ever since.

  ‘Morning, Donna, love,’ came the chirpy voice of the owner, Jan, who appeared from the kitchen in a puff of flour. ‘I’ve got the sponges ready for that birthday cake so you can fire ahead with the decorating once they cool.’

  Donna followed her back into the kitchen. ‘Thanks, Jan. It’s exactly what I need to take my mind off things today. I love getting stuck into a good cake.’

  ‘Lexie?’ The older woman raised her eyebrows.

  Donna nodded. ‘I know I should be happy for her but I can’t help just feeling sorry for myself. It seems I can’t hold onto people in my life I care about.’

  ‘Ah, don’t say that, love,’ said Jan, putting a chubby arm around her. ‘I know you have it tough sometimes but haven’t you got Tina? And you know you have me too, right?’

  ‘I know, Jan. You’re very good to me. It’s just that … well, you know how it was with Lexie. She was my best friend in the world. She’s been next door my whole life.’ To Donna’s dismay, big tears began to form at the corners of her eyes and fall down her cheeks.

  ‘Ah, poor love.’ Jan pulled her even closer and Donna gladly laid her head on the woman’s broad shoulders. ‘You let it all out. And then when you’re done, you take all that emotion out on the cake and see if you can produce the best one yet.’

  Donna laughed at that. Jan Adams was such a passionate baker. She believed in channelling emotions into the cakes she made. She swore that she could bake a much better cake if she was either really sad or really happy. If she wasn’t feeling anything, her cakes would flop. Or so she said. But the truth was, Donna had never seen her produce anything that was a flop. She was brilliant at what she did and, because she’d taken Donna under her wing to teach her everything she knew, Donna was becoming a pretty good baker too.

  After sticking her hair into a net and donning her white baker’s coat, Donna began to work her magic on the cake. It was for a sixteenth birthday and the mother had asked for something pretty and girly, leaving the detail completely up to her. Donna loved being creative and had decided to do a two-tier cake covered in party pink icing and piped with various shades of purple. She was going to make some bags and shoes with icing and top the cake with them. It was a big task but Donna was pretty sure she could make it work.

  A loud bellowing laugh came from the other side of the kitchen and she looked over to see Jan chatting to one of the other bakers, a guy in his thirties who’d worked for her for the last ten years. Jan treated and paid all her workers fairly but she was much more than just an employer. They all confided in her and she looked out for them. Donna had known her almost three years now and, in that time, the woman had been more of a mother to her than her own mother had ever been.

  When she’d left school just a few months ago, there’d been no doubt in Jan’s mind that Donna would come and work for her full-time. ‘You’re my star baker, so you are,’ she’d said. ‘And more than that – you’re the daughter I never had.’

  Those words had warmed Donna’s heart like nothing before ever had and, for the first time in her life, she felt like she really belonged. She didn’t hate her own mother – in fact there were times when she really loved her. Times when she was sober and would make an effort to cook something for them or times when she’d show an interest in what her two girls were up to. But sadly, those times had become few and far between and Donna had learned to live with that. Donna had never even realised that there was a void there but when Jan had stepped in as a sort of surrogate mother to her, she’d finally felt that the missing piece of the puzzle of her life was in place.

  She stood back and surveyed her work. It was getting there. Ideally she’d like more time to perfect it but she knew that Jan relied on custom cakes to bring in the cash and time was money.

  ‘Looking good,’ said Jan, peering over her shoulder. ‘What did I tell you? You can never go wrong when you use emotion.’

  Donna nodded, a lump forming in her throat. Lexie would be at the airport by now, saying her goodbyes to her granny and granddad.

  As if reading her thoughts, Jan continued. ‘And I think that level of work needs to be rewarded with a nice cup of tea and a cake. What do you say?’

  ‘I’ve only been here an hour, Jan. I shouldn’t really.’

  ‘Listen to Jan, love. I can tell when you need a break. I’ll stick the k
ettle on and you go and grab a couple of cupcakes from the display outside. I made some fresh this morning with that lemon icing you love.’

  Donna wasn’t about to argue and, besides, she’d barely eaten a bite of her toast earlier because she’d been dreading saying goodbye to Lexie. A cup of tea and a cake sounded perfect. The doors of the bakery had just been opened and there was already a customer in the shop. Donna opened one of the glass displays to take two of the cakes and couldn’t help smiling to herself when she heard Talia flirting with the customer. Talia was just seventeen but was desperate to find herself a nice man. Donna couldn’t help delaying a little to watch the scene unfold.

  The guy looked awkward as Talia threw a load of questions at him. Where did he work? Oh, he was in college. Which one? Trinity, that’s fabulous. What was he studying? Law! He must be very brainy. And so the questions continued until he made his excuses, saying he was late for a lecture, and grabbed his doughnut before dashing out the door.

  ‘Talia, that poor guy!’ Donna laughed as the young girl strained her neck to catch a last glimpse of the object of her affections. ‘He’ll never come in here again.’

  ‘But he was gorgeous, and sexy and polite. Did you see him?’

  Donna noticed how the other girl’s eyes had glazed over and she felt a little pang as she walked back inside with the cakes. She wanted a man to make her feel like that. She’d had a couple of boyfriends over the last few years but none of them had been special. She often wondered what it would be like to be in love with somebody and to have them feel the same about her. She’d become obsessed with the movie Love Actually since it had been released the previous year and had watched the DVD again and again. She loved how it made her feel and cheered every time that Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon’s characters got together in the end. Maybe some day she’d find her own little piece of forbidden love because, according to the movies, that was the best love of all.

  * * *

  Will thought he’d never get out of that shop. The girl serving him was nuts. He’d thought for a minute she was going to jump right over the counter and kiss him. He laughed to himself at that. He’d been watching too many romantic comedies lately instead of studying.