Finding Solace

by Speak, Barbara

  "No problem. Now do you want to tell me what really has you this upset? I hate seeing you cry."

  "It’s nothing really. I am just emotional right now because I'm on my period." Did I really just say that?

  "That was an interesting excuse, Sadie, but I've been around long enough to know that you don't get this emotional ever. Period week included."

  "Sure I do. Why else would I over react like this?"

  "That's what I'm waiting to hear?"

  "Colt, really. I don't like lying to you. I even pulled out the period card. How can I get you to stop asking?"

  "Maybe we could try it this way. I will go first. I over reacted. I wanted to punch Tony. I wanted to pick you up and take you from here. I was wrong, Sadie. You need to experience things. Tony is a good guy. It wouldn't hurt you to go out with him."

  What?

  "Are you kidding me right now? You’re pimping me out! You’re high, aren’t you? That's where you went. You went outside to smoke. Well, guess what? I can make my own mind up about what and who I want. None of you respect me enough to let me decide how I want to live my life."

  "I respect you more than I respect my fucking self, Sadie. I just hate you sad. I can't help but think, actually I know, that this is all about me. Somehow it’s me that's hurting you and I fucking hate it. High or not, the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, but I can't seem to not do that. What can I do to make you happy? I just love to see your smile. That's all that belongs on that beautiful face of yours. Please tell me. I will do anything."

  A million things went through my mind. The one thing I knew would fix it all were the three words I would never hear from his mouth. He didn't love me. So why was I waiting for him to say it? I was so tired and I just wanted to get out of the damn bathroom. So I said, "Take me home, please."

  "Anything for you, Sadie.”

  CHAPTER 23

  The final weekend before everyone leaves to go home for the summer was here. We were road tripping it to St. Louis, Missouri. They have a Six Flags theme park and we were all down for one last hoorah. Jason, Heather, Mike and Bryan were riding in one car. Shawn, Colt, Tony and I were in another. Geoff, Dave and Angie were riding in the third. A caravan is what it turned out to be. We all stopped to fill up the gas tanks and then we hit the road. How did I get stuck in the car with Colt and Tony? Your guess is as good as mine. I never did finish the conversation Tony started that night. I still don’t know how to respond. Colt and I just dropped it and went back to what we do best, doing not thinking. I managed to fall asleep to pass some time. Tony was on his Blackberry dealing with work. Colt was texting nonstop, with whom, I don’t know. Shawn was driving. He was great about stopping when I needed to pee or just needed to get out and stretch. Hours later we were in Eureka, Missouri. They had a hotel right next to the park that we checked into. Once our stuff was up in the rooms, we all headed back down to the lobby to catch the shuttle over to the park. It was hot as hell outside. Six Flags had a water park called Hurricane Harbor. I couldn’t wait to get in the water. I also brought and was wearing my new neon pink bikini under my tank and jean shorts. I was looking forward to seeing Colt’s face when he saw it on me. This was going to be a blast. Forty five minutes later we all entered to park. Half of us wanted to ride the rides first, while the other half chose the water. I was all for the water. What I didn't expect was Colt to go for the rides. Dave, Angie, Tony and I said our goodbyes and went to the locker rooms to store our stuff. When Angie and I came out to meet the boys, their eyes bugged out of their heads. Angie had me beat with a turquoise string bikini that her fake boobs looked perfect in. I am not jealous, more like envious. Dave immediately grabbed her up and spun her around, going crazy over the fact other guys were going to see what was his. He was proud, not trying to hide her in any way. Tony walked over to me and asked me what I wanted to do first. I didn't even care. We were finally here and everything looked fun. I let him pick and we were on a water slide in no time. There was so much to do but after a couple of hours we called it a day as far as the water park went. Dave and Angie were not ready to leave yet, so we told them we would meet up with them later. Now is when I cared about what we did first. I wanted to ride Mr. Freeze so bad. It was a rollercoaster I have wanted to ride forever. We waited in line for what seemed like an eternity. Can I just tell you that after we got off, we said we would wait in that line again and again, it was that much fun? Tony wanted to ride the Batman which was another rollercoaster. It was awesome too. I finally got a text back from Heather telling us that they all were going to get something to eat. We joined them and noticed Dave and Angie were there also. The guys got the biggest turkey legs I have ever seen. They looked like the characters from the Flintstones carrying them around. Heather, Angie and I got colossal waffle cone ice cream. It was every bit of one hundred degrees outside, so ice cream was doing the trick for me. After we ate, we rode more coasters and saw a show production that the park put on. Then Colt asked me if I would come with him somewhere and I found myself in Looney Tunes Land. That little boy was peeking out again. Making me ride the little kid rides was so embarrassing but I haven't had that much fun in a long time. Seeing Colt’s big body all squished up to fit was hilarious. We ended up in the gift shop and I had to buy Maddie a Tweety bird stuffed animal. He was so cute. It was dark by the time he and I rode all the rides. He texted the group and we walked to meet them hand in hand. As we waited for the shuttle to come pick us back up, we all talked about what our favorite part was and how it sucked that we had to leave in the morning to get back home. Nobody wanted to party that night. Surprisingly everyone was exhausted and just ready for bed. I went up to my room and grabbed my stuff for a long hot shower. Colt walked in as I was closing the door to the bathroom. He grabbed the door before I could close it.

  "Not so fast, beautiful. I never got to see what's under those clothes. Whatever that pink thing under there looks like, it has been teasing me all day peeking out here and there. Now I want you to strip so I can see it." He grabbed my shirt to take it off but I said, "You should have come with me to the swim park. You lost your chance, mister. Now, hands off."

  "Hell, no. I need to see you in that. It’s been a fantasy of mine."

  "Since when?"

  "Today. Now strip, Sadie."

  "You have lost your mind, Colt." I couldn't help the laugh that came out with that one.

  "I lost that a long time ago. Now do I have to force you?"

  "I don't do well with force. So why don't you just go sit on the bed and let me give you a show that will put your fantasy to shame."

  He practically ran to the bed. I had no idea he would get this excited over something as small as me taking off my shorts and tank top. Well shit! Now the pressure was on me to do this right and I had no idea what I was doing. I walked to the center of the room slowly grabbing the bottom hem of my shirt. I started to lift it as I began moving my hips back and forth in a slow swinging motion. I was past the point of exposing my stomach when I switched to a circular movement, mimicking sex. The shirt rose over my breasts and I let it stay there for a brief pause allowing them to appear to be peeking out. Then with one swift movement, the shirt was over my head and on the floor. I swear to you I heard a low growl come from him. I still had yet to remove my shorts. So this time I spun around giving him a view from the back. I unbuttoned and unzipped them with patience allowing the sound of the zipper to be heard. When that was done, I put my thumbs under the jean material and slowly pushed them down in the back. As it moved over my butt, I started to lean forward. By the time the shorts dropped, my hands were on the floor with my ass in the air. I shook it back and forth and that’s when the game of strip your clothes ended. Colt leaped up from the bed, grabbed me and spun me around so I was still in the same position but holding on to the bed. He didn’t take his time at all. He just grabbed my bikini bottoms, pushed them over to the side and entered me with force. I had gotten so turned on myself from stripping; I didn’t not
ice he had taken off his clothes. He must have done it when my back was to him. Colt used one arm to go under my stomach and hold me in place while he took what he obviously needed. When we finished he went to the bathroom to get me a washcloth. By the time we were both cleaned up, I couldn’t help but say, "All that work and you never bothered to even get to see me in my swim suit."

  "Sadie, that suit was just another barrier between me and what I want most. I'm sure you looked crazy sexy in it but never as sexy as you look out of it. Now come here and cuddle with me."

  I scooted up and into his waiting arms. I laid there with my head on his chest feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat. He combed his fingers through my hair and my fingers drew circles around his nipple. We didn't talk for quite a while. Words were not needed nearly enough as the solace we got from the quiet. Eventually we both fell asleep. Just the way we have come to find our own perfection.

  The next morning after we woke, Colt and I took a shower together. He wanted to wash every inch of me himself, including my hair. As his hands rubbed my scalp, massaging the shampoo in, I started to feel a burning need for him all over again. I rubbed my hands down his sleek chest and continued my venture lower until I was holding exactly what I wanted. He pushed his hips forward indicating he was on board with my idea. We rubbed on each other until the two of us could not take the tease of it any more. He picked me up from behind my thighs while I grabbed on around his neck and grabbed him with my legs around his waist. He slowly pushed in. I rocked back and forth until both of us lost all that we had built up for that moment. We hadn’t planned it, but there was no better place to finish than the very place you get clean.

  When we got our stuff packed back up, Colt and I headed down to the lobby to find their continental breakfast. Everyone was already there eating and laughing when we walked up.

  "Damn, Sadie, you do have some lungs on you, girl. No wonder you can sing like you do. You get your breathing exercises in other ways. I had the pleasure of not only hearing you last night, but this morning as well." Tony looked mad as he was saying it. What is his deal with me and Colt?

  "Oh Tony, I'm sorry. I will just let Colt gag me next time."

  Everyone was laughing except Tony. Jason even threw a piece of his toast at his brother and said, "Lighten up, dude. I had to hear tons of girls in your room growing up. You’re no stranger to it either. When you can make a girl sound like that, it’s like the angels are singing from heaven right to your ears and you know it."

  Tony stood up and walked over to me. He lowered himself to my ear and said, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I looked at him wondering what it was he possibly needed me in private to say. Colt was standing next to me and must have heard Tony because his body went stiff. I didn't know what to do. I turned to Tony and said, "Sure." He walked away, so I guess that was my cue to follow him. When we got to the elevator hallway he turned back to face me.

  "Sadie, I'm sorry. I know I am going about this all the wrong way. When you’re with Colt, you beam a smile that could light up the world. It’s so natural. I can see like everyone else that you love him. I know I never stood a chance. I'm okay with that. But that doesn't mean I don't still care. So as your friend, I'm asking you, please be careful. I know you believe yourself that you are in control of the situation but I don’t think you are factoring in your heart. It has its own mind. I just have one more thing to say, I promise. I then will forever leave this topic alone. I will be here when you fall and when your heart breaks. I will always be here for ya, girl."

  "Thank you, Tony, for being there and caring about me as much as you do. I can't promise you that I don't have feelings developing but I can promise you that I believe I have them under control. He's not the jerk that you're making him out to be. He truly isn't. I will be okay. I've never felt so safe and cared for than when I'm with him."

  "That's what I worry the most about." He said those words and then walked away from me. I wasn’t sure what he meant by that but I knew he understood where I was coming from. I walked behind him back into the restaurant, only to find everyone was done eating. Shit. I was hungry. I guess a bagel was going to have to do. I grabbed one and slapped some raspberry cream cheese on it, then followed the group out to the cars. Colt didn't look at me once while we were loading the car. He even got in the front seat and I rode in the back with Tony. Maybe he wanted it this way. I wasn’t any closer to figuring him out than I was when we first met. Once again Shawn drove, Tony was on his Blackberry and Colt was texting every other minute. I tried playing Candy Crush on my phone for a while but even that got boring. Sleep was calling my name again, so I gave into the temptation.

  I woke up a while later with someone's hand on my thigh rubbing it. Faintly I heard, "Sadie, wake up. We are home." Holy crap, I must have been tired if I slept the whole way back. I stirred trying to come out of the sleep trance I was in and realized my head was in Tony’s lap. What I didn’t want to acknowledge was the hard on under my face. I sat up immediately and looked at him and he started laughing his ass off. I wasn’t sure what he found so funny until he said, "Well that is a sure way to make it go back down." I looked at him still squinting while my eyes adjusted to the light.

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Ha ha, don't play dumb with me, Sadie. It isn't something a man can control when he has a gorgeous girl with her face in his lap. What I meant by you making it go down, was the drool resting on your chin and the indentions on your face from my zipper. Don't get me wrong girl, you’re still one fine female, but you kind of killed the mood."

  "There was a mood? Are you one of those creepy guys that gets off on being with a girl while she's sleeping?

  "No, sweetheart. I like mine awake and ready."

  "Are you two done back there yet? I have places to be after I drop you off," was heard from Shawn sitting up front. Speaking of up front, where was Colt?

  "Yes, sir. I'm getting out. But where is Colt?"

  "I dropped him off first. He was ready to get out of this car, if you know what I mean."

  Double shit! I needed to call him. I was asleep for crying out loud. I grabbed the handle to open the door when Tony sprinted from the car to help me with my bags. He got his out as well.

  "I told Shawn you wouldn't mind taking me to my house since he has stuff he has to get to. Should I not have done that? I'm sorry. Now that I think about it, it was kind of presumptuous."

  "No, that’s fine. I can do it."

  I walked back over to the driver’s side door and kissed and hugged Shawn goodbye. He pulled out of the parking space and Tony grabbed our bags and started walking to my front door. I guess he was coming in. I unlocked the door and he continued with the bags until he set them down on the stairwell. I asked him if he wanted a drink and his response was that a beer sounded good. I agreed. We sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Duck Dynasty was his choice and I loved that he liked it. It was a secret obsession of mine. We were in luck. It was marathon Sunday so we found ourselves watching episode after episode laughing and consuming more beer. Time got away from us for sure. Soon enough I was drunk, and Tony was no better. I stood up to go get another round when at the same time Tony stood to go to the bathroom. Break time I guess. So I pushed pause on the TV. I grabbed two more beers for us and as I closed the door to the fridge and turned around Tony was right there. He scared the crap out of me so I jumped letting go of the cans in the meantime. They hit the floor and one of them exploded, shooting foam and beer everywhere. We were both laughing our asses off to the point we were now sitting on the floor in the kitchen. I reached for the towel hanging behind Tony to clean up the mess, when I found myself in proximity I was unfamiliar with. I couldn’t help it. The feeling was pulling me in. I had to kiss him. Just once, and then it would be out of my system. I leaned in and let my lips brush his. He didn't react. It was as if he was letting me take the lead. I wanted him to react though. So I did it again, but this time I let my lips fall in between his. I kissed his upp
er lip and then his lower one. Still nothing from him. I made one last effort and used my tongue to lick the crease of his mouth. Bingo. He opened and let me taste him. He came back at me and brushed his tongue against mine. We remained on the floor in the kitchen consuming each other's mouths. I reached for the bottom of his shirt and tried to pull it up. He raised his arms, letting me know he was on board with what I was doing. When his shirt was off, I got to take in the sculpture that made up his body, but only for a second before we were back to kissing. I kept running my hands along his abs and chest. It felt so good. He then grabbed my shirt and slowly pulled it off. We sat there shirtless just staring at each other. Tony stood and held out his hand to help me up. Once we were upright, he asked me where my bedroom was. I took him by the hand and led him upstairs to my room. I lay down on the bed facing him and removed my shorts while he stood at the foot of it taking in all that was me. I was not sure what was going through his mind but I knew what I wanted. I haven't been with anyone else since I met Colt. I needed this like I needed my next breath. I needed to show myself I could do this, that I was not dependent on Colt. Tony gave me one last head tilt and then I could see his mind was made up. I was getting lucky tonight. He stripped off his shorts and climbed on my bed. He gently came to lie on top of me. His hands reached under me, behind my back and unclasped my bra. Then he slowly removed each strap from my arms. It was like he was unwrapping a fragile package. When my bra was finally out of the way, his mouth took over. He licked and sucked and brought me to orgasm simply by his mouth on my breasts. I was getting so excited. If he could do that, what else did I get to look forward to? My panties were removed next. As he got them off my feet, he sat up between my legs. Tony stared at my bare private for what felt like hours. I was getting so worked up and he hadn't even touched me with his hands yet. Just as I finished that thought, his hand came up and he let one finger drag up the length of me, ending at my special place. My whole body jerked and then I was having an orgasm again. Holy shit! Does this guy have Jedi powers or what? He knew at that point I needed no more introductions. I was ready and willing to go wherever he wanted to take me. He reached back down for his shorts and pulled a condom out of his wallet. He put it on himself, placed his head at my entrance and then stopped. He looked up at me and for the first time spoke since all this started. "Sadie, are you sure you want to do this? I won't be mad if you don't. We will still be friends and I won't let anything be awkward between us. I just want you to be positive, being this is your body and I'm about ....."