Finding Solace

by Speak, Barbara

  "Ash, I would take having you anywhere. I don't care about where we are. It’s the fact that it’s us that matters."

  Ash picked me up like he was carrying me over a threshold and proceeded up the stairs. In a way I was crossing a threshold. Into one of monogamy . I have not committed to one man in years. I was ready if it was going to be Ash. He deserved me to give my all and I planned to try. Colt was gone.

  We reached his bedroom and he placed me on the bed. He climbed onto me and began kissing me again. It is crazy how I felt like I could kiss him forever considering I knew what was coming. My body was ready that’s for sure. Ash’s hands descended between my legs and even though we were still kissing, I could tell that when he was where he wanted to be, he smiled.

  "Something funny there?"

  "No baby, that smile is because I have never been this happy before in my life."

  "Ash, I have been waiting for this moment since the first night I saw you at my house. Right now I need you like I need my next breath."

  Nothing more needed to be said. He moved between my legs and I brought my knees up. We looked in each other's eyes and then Ash said, "I need to go downstairs."

  "What?"

  "The box of condoms I bought is still downstairs."

  "You didn't think of that ahead of time?"

  "Did you?"

  "Are we seriously arguing about whose fault it is instead of just getting the damn thing?"

  "I will be right back."

  "I'm not waiting here while you’re gone for an hour just to get downstairs. I’ll come with you."

  "Can we stop talking and start walking?"

  "Did you just rhyme on purpose?"

  "Yeah Sadie, I thought a rap would be a good idea right now."

  "Don't get snappy with me or I won't let you cum."

  "What? Wouldn’t most people pull the sex option completely?"

  "I am not most people and I’m getting mine regardless. Now move your fine ass so we can get this started."

  Ash started to laugh and said, “You really are the perfect girl for me."

  He grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. Have you noticed everyone is always picking me up? I know I’m small, but this is ridiculous.

  "Ash, you can put me down you know?"

  "I will do whatever it takes to make sure you are there when I put that sleeve on. Now quit complaining."

  Because I was hanging over his shoulder I had the best view of his toned ass. I wondered how it would look after I smacked the shit out of it.

  SMACK.

  "Ouch! Why would you do that?"

  "You deserved it. Are we almost there yet?"

  I couldn’t make anything out with his ass in my face. He put me down and lifted up his hand. In it was a box of pure gold, if you ask me.

  We were standing in his kitchen and we both looked at the table and then back to each other.

  "Work for you?" I couldn’t help myself. I wanted him so bad.

  "Absolutely."

  I was up and lying across that table in no time. Ash had himself wrapped and was between my legs before I could blink. Just as he was about to place himself in me, he stopped.

  "Sadie, I promise I will make up for this next time."

  He leaned forward and started to kiss me again. At first the whole thing was awkward but after a few minutes, I forgot anything had even happened. I forgot my name. He was right there against me one second and pressed in deep the next. I screamed out his name without even thinking. He was huge and perfect. I moved forward every time he pulled back. It didn’t take long before the rhythm was set and we both were moaning and gripping on to any body part within reach. Ash leaned forward and grabbed me, lifting me up so I was straddling his waist. He held me under my ass and I rocked back and forth until I was about to explode. I was getting closer and I knew he was growing closer too. The orgasm ripped through me in waves, pulsing around Ash. It brought him to his knees almost literally. His knees buckled and then he was jerking inside me. We both collapsed on the kitchen floor panting, trying to catch a breath. I scooted over to him until his lips were reachable. I couldn’t help but kiss the man that managed to wipe the slate clean. Sex has never been that raw for me. I pulled back and kissed the tip of his nose.

  "You have nothing to make up for. That was amazing."

  "Are you sure, because, I only" he pulled me on top of him, "heard you call my name once."

  I smacked him in the chest and said, "That was just so you wouldn't feel bad."

  We both laughed.

  "In all seriousness, I am going to make this up to you."

  "Stop making our first time less than it was. I loved it. I don't need flowers and candles, although I do like them. What I needed was exactly what happened."

  "Are you ready for round two then?"

  "You’re kidding?"

  "Does it feel like I'm kidding you?" He said as he wiggled around under me.

  I turned into a child waiting to open their birthday present. "I'm so excited!"

  Three hours later, we walked into Dave's party. The place was crazy. There were people wall to wall. I held on to Ash as we walked through the house. We reached the deck and found the group. Everyone looked up as he and I walked through the door to get out there.

  "What in hell took you so long?" Dave said as he walked over to give me a hug and Ash a hand shake.

  "We were busy. His sister was at his house when I got there."

  Ash stood by my side and I could see the smile start on his face out of the corner of my eye. Then it got bigger and bigger. I couldn’t help but match his expression. The memories were like a highlight video playing back in my head. That was when everyone must have caught on. The whistling was enough to have me running back into the house. Tony caught on to my misery and stepped in to save the day.

  "Leave them alone. Like none of you would have been doing the same thing if you could." He got up from his chair and came to stand in front of us.

  I wrapped my arms around him and said, "Thank you, Tony. We kind of needed a little help. Tony I would like you to meet Ash." He stuck his hand out. Ash did the same. "Nice to meet you, man."

  Tony’s voice dropped and he got close so no one could hear. "You’re damn lucky I brought the keg or they would have had your head. Did you plan that?"

  "Not at all. But it sure worked out, huh?"

  We started laughing and then I pulled Ash over to the rest of the pack.

  "Ash, this is my best friend, Heather and her fiancé, Jason. He and Tony are brothers. There is a third one of these crazies, his name is Mike. But I don't see him anywhere.”

  "Nice to meet you guys."

  Heather jumped out of her chair and gave Ash a huge hug. "It’s great to get to meet you too." Then she shot me a thumbs up and winked behind his back.

  "Over there is Shawn and Ashlee"

  "Hi." Came from, Ashlee. Shawn just waved.

  "Then you've got Bryan and Dave who you know, but Angie here is slowly becoming one of Dave's best traits. And finally Geoff, he is one of their best friends."

  "It is nice to meet all of you."

  "And that's pretty much it. They are my closest friends anyway."

  "Don't lie. We are all you’ve got and you know it." Mike walked out through the door and must have heard me.

  "Holy shit!" Ash's face lit up. Oh no, another fan. How am I falling for one of those? Mike grabbed me from Ash and picked me up as usual. "So you are the dude my brother was telling me about? You better be good to her."

  "Mike, put me down."

  Ash was still star struck I guess, that Mike was Mike. He didn’t answer him, he just stood frozen in place. Mike finally put me down and I walked back over to Ash and grabbed his hand.

  "Ash Williams, meet Mike Harrison."

  Finally Ash spoke and put his hand out, "It is very nice to meet you."

  "Same here, bro."

  Tony came over and put his arm on Ash's shoulder. "Please don't give my little
brother a bigger head than he already has." Mike punched Tony in the arm and said, "Watch it, dude. You’re almost to the point they will declare you in remission. When that day comes, it’s going to be pay back for all the smart ass comments that have been flying out of your mouth lately."

  "Cancer or not, I can still whoop your cocky little ass." They were kidding around but Ash wasn’t processing that. He looked uncomfortable.

  "Both of you stop or I will sick Jason on you." That got the whole crowd to laugh, poor Jason. I thought it would be funny but Heather apparently didn’t.

  "Jason is a Golden Glove champion. He could kick all of your asses at one time."

  "Heather, thanks but shut up. I don't feel like fighting any one of my brothers or friends."

  "Tonight. You can’t say that's never happened before." Geoff never did have a proper filter. Shawn looked at Geoff and said, "I have no problem kicking your ass if you don’t shut up."

  "What a way to introduce you guys and show Ash how great you all are."

  "We are just keeping it real, Sadie. It’s all good, isn't it Ash?" Mike and his charm, it was unreal how Ash just accepted their stupid behavior.

  "I'm ready for a drink. You want one?"

  Ash looked down at me and said, “That would be great, thanks” and then turned his attention right back to Mike. Wow! I thought he would want to come with me, but it seems all Mike had to do was start talking about training, then all the guys had something to contribute. I walked in the house and into the kitchen to grab some cups when Heather popped up beside me.

  "So, how was it?"

  "What?"

  "Don't play stupid with me. You had sex. It’s written all over both of your faces."

  "It really is that obvious?"

  "Absolutely! Now spill. I want details."

  "No way. That's private."

  "Wow, it is serious. Since when are sex details private for you?"

  "Don't be mean. I like him okay."

  "Okay. I get it and I am happy for you."

  "If you would have asked me two weeks ago, I would’ve said I was still unsure. But that isn’t the case anymore. Ash is so different from Colt. I’m looking forward to seeing how this thing with him unfolds. I'm starting to care, a lot."

  "Good for you." She grabbed me in a hug. "Let’s get that drink."

  She and I took a bottle of chocolate vodka and cherry vodka out on the deck besides the beer we grabbed. I handed Ash a beer and then went to find Shawn. He is one of my oldest friends and I had been neglecting him lately.

  "Hey, there you two are." Shawn and Ashlee really do make the perfect couple.

  "Hello, Sadie girl. I see you found a new challenge. You might have out done yourself this time. He seems normal and nice."

  Ashlee slapped him on the chest. "Leave her alone, Shawn. He did good getting her, not the other way around."

  "Thanks Ashlee. Shawn, you suck. So, when do you guys plan on leaving?"

  "Saturday, right after the ceremony. My place back home is calling my name already. Being away for four years hasn't been easy."

  "I bet. I'm really going to miss you guys. You will come back to visit me right?"

  "Not a chance." Shawn was always a smart ass. I looked away to find Ash and spotted him sitting in a circle of chairs filled with my friends. He was laughing and the smile he was wearing made me grow one that matched it.

  I looked back at Shawn and Ashlee and said, “You better. I will miss the hell out of you both.”

  I then walked over and stood behind Ash, placing my hands on his shoulders. He looked up at me and then jumped out of his seat and offered it to me. I laughed and said, "How about we compromise and sit together?" Ash sat back down and patted his lap. "Come sit with me so I can hold you." Heather let out an ‘aw’, where the rest of the guys gave him trouble. I sat on his lap, leaned back and gave him a kiss over my shoulder. Then I grabbed his hands and wrapped them around me.

  "You guys are just jealous. You wish she would give you the time of day." Ash was proud. It felt good but I was afraid of what the guys were going to come back at him with.

  "Dude, she's been thru the circle already. You’re getting all the left overs." Geoff barely got all of the words out of his mouth before Ash was standing up advancing on him, causing me to be thrown off his lap. Ash didn’t have a chance because we were on the other side of the deck to start with. Tony on the other hand did. He swung so fast and hard that Geoff was knocked out on the floor before Ash even got there. I followed them after I picked myself up. When I passed by Ash, I went through the door and into the kitchen. I grabbed a pitcher and filled it with cooler water, then I headed straight back out to Geoff. When I was able to move everybody out of the way, I dumped the pitcher over his face. He immediately shot up looking around trying to make sense of what happened. I didn’t give him that much time though. I slapped him as hard as I could right across the face.

  "You stupid mother fucker, I've never came close to touching you. Is that what your problem is still? Is that why you’re always a dick? It will never happen!"

  "It was supposed to be a joke, Sadie. Funny, you know?" He was an idiot if he thought that was funny. Geoff sat there rubbing his hand across his already swollen cheek. Dave helped him up but then escorted him through the house. I was afraid to look at Ash. What must he have been thinking of me? I felt hands wrap around my waist and then a mouth was pressed to my ear. "Nice one, by the way." It was Ash. I turned around and he was looking right at me.

  "I hate him sometimes."

  "I would hate him all the time if I were you. He's a dick."

  Tony walked over and said, "Ash, sorry I took that from you. It was your shot to take. That dude has just rubbed me wrong since the first time I met him."

  "Hey, I appreciate that. No one should talk about a girl like that. Well, at least not my girl." He grabbed me and kissed me in front of everybody. It was something that I didn’t expect because Colt would never have done it. They truly are two completely different people. I was liking this a lot better. I kissed him back and then when he pulled back, I thanked him again by giving him one more peck.

  Conversation went back to normal and the rest of the night went perfect. We all laughed our asses off remembering things from over the years. Ash just listened during those stories, but he was enjoying himself, I could tell. Before we knew it, it was three o'clock in the morning. Everyone decided the night was over and it was time to say goodbye. We hugged, I cried (even though I said I wouldn’t) and then I said goodbye to all of them. I knew everything was going to change after that night. Well I guess that isn’t true, some things were going to remain constant; Heather, Jason, Tony, Mike and hopefully if all things went well, Ash.

  CHAPTER 41

  Several weeks went by and the loss of some of my friends was bearing down heavy on me. Ash and I couldn’t be better, but he spent a lot of his time between volunteering and still being in school. Heather and Jason were still always together. Mike went away to train for another fight but this one was going to be low key so nobody went with him. Tony was still doing fantastic. Sometimes I looked at him and I didn’t even know how he managed to be back to his old self so fast. We all knew we weren’t in the clear yet when it came to him but everything showed signs of things moving in the right direction. I had still never heard from Colt. The majority of the time I don’t even think of him and then a song will play and tears form instantly. How could he make me feel so much, so beautiful, so powerful, so everything and then walk away without a trace. I had tried to just stay as busy as I could at work and even had gone out with Lindsey a few times.

  Ash felt bad about our lack of time lately so he came up with an idea to spend the day together. He said he has a surprise for me and he was on his way to pick me up when I had talked to him. I love summer; it’s my favorite time of year. So I didn’t really care what we were doing as long as it was outside. I had found the cutest romper and couldn’t wait for an excuse to wear it. It was o
range and pink striped, strapless and with balloon legs. I bought orange cork heeled shoes to match. I paired my pink summer bag with it and was just waiting anxiously for him to show up.

  Ten more minutes passed and he still wasn’t there. I was purposely late getting ready, hoping he would have to watch me put my clothes on. Dirty? I know. But if a girl can't play dirty sometimes, what fun would life be? I was starting to get worried so I called him. He answered on the first ring.

  "Sadie, I'm sorry. Traffic was horrible because of road construction. I'm pulling in now."

  I heard his car as he said it so I just said, "It’s okay. I’ll see you in a bit."

  I walked out the door and stood on my porch while he finished pulling in and got out. He looked amazing as always. He wore a grey fitted t-shirt with plaid white, light blue and grey cargo shorts, and black flip flops. His dark hair was spiked up and his tan was getting pretty fierce. Yum, came to mind.

  "Like I said, I'm sorry. But most importantly, you look edible. Turn around."

  I did a little spin for him and then walked toward him seductively.

  "Do you really like what you see? I will let you have a taste if you’re lucky."

  "My God, Sadie. If we didn't need to get going, I would totally take you up on that one."

  "Your loss. Now, what are we doing? And am I dressed okay for it?"

  "You look perfect but there has been a slight change of plans."

  "The way you say that makes it sound like it isn’t very promising."

  "I forgot it’s my parent’s anniversary today. I had a perfect date planned and it still can happen but I have to show up at the country club for a while. Their best friends are throwing them a party."

  "Wow. I don't think that is something I could’ve forgotten, Ash. Do you just want to swing back by when you’re done?"

  "No. I want you to come with me."